4.10 - Trouble in Candyland
Transcript by Craig Best

This is a Beta copy
please contact me for any corrections or additions

[Opening scene - Julia, Joel and the kids at the table having dinner.]

AMBER: Hi! Uncle Joel!

[Amber gets out of her car.]

JOEL: Yeah.

AMBER: Good morning.

JOEL: Good morning.

AMBER: Look at this.

JOEL: This is unusual.

AMBER: I brought you a little something something. Get your day started out right.

JOEL: That has my name on it. Wow, this is totally weird.


JOEL: Thank you.

AMBER: Yes, here.

JOEL: Cheers.

AMBER: Cheers.

JOEL: Well, thanks for driving all this way to just give me this coffee.

AMBER: You deserve it. You're a good man. Hey, you know Ryan, right?

JOEL: Your boyfriend.

AMBER: Yes, my boyfriend.

JOEL: Yep, I know Ryan.

AMBER: So he's looking for a job now. And it clicked, to me, of course. Uncle Joel--construction. It's perfect. I found you a great worker. He's the best.

JOEL: I'm sure he's great.

AMBER: It's perfect, right?

JOEL: I just...

AMBER: It would just be so helpful. Anything.

JOEL: We already got the whole team.

AMBER: No job? No openings at all?

JOEL: Nothing.

AMBER: Nothing.

JOEL: I mean...

AMBER: Okay, thank you for letting me ask. I appreciate it.

JOEL: Thank you for the coffee.

AMBER: Yeah, you know, it's premium blend, so, I mean, it did cost me two extra dollars. But it's fine, it was worth it.

JOEL: Okay.

AMBER: Just to have this chat.

JOEL: Pfft. Hey. Tell him to show up tomorrow and bring a pair of work gloves. And we'll find some--

AMBER: Uncle Joel, thank you so much.

JOEL: Okay.

AMBER: It's perfect.

JOEL: All right.

AMBER: Thank you so much, Uncle Joel.

JOEL: Yeah.

AMBER: The best!

[NEW SCENE - Luncheonette studio, Crosby is talking to Glen Hansard.]

GLEN: So suddenly I'm pulled into this conversation with the lads, very mellow...

CROSBY: You're now a member of Led Zeppelin.

GLEN: You see-- But I'm totally, like, floored. And, next thing, Jimmy page comes in. And they're tal-- like, they're sitting there and they're talking about this gig. I think it was 'whole lotta love'. And Robert was like, "Man, I was so confused." And I just counted to eight. I said, “no matter what happens, I'm coming in on eight.” and he's like, "One, two--" he's all mad.

CROSBY: Well, the thing about keeping track whole lotta love...

AMBER: [Entering the studio.] Crosby, Crosby.

CROSBY: That drum goes on for…

AMBER: There's something happening outside. I need to pull you away for one second. [To Glen.] I am so sorry. Hi, how are you?

CROSBY: Give me five minutes.

AMBER: No, it's an emergency. [Whispers] It's a Marlyse situation.

CROSBY: Okay, I'm gonna be right back.

[NEW SCENE - Crosby enters the ally behind the Luncheonette. Just as Glen's car is about to be towed away.]

CROSBY: Oh, no, no, no, no! Hold on, hold on, hold on. Please, please, please don't do this.

MAN: Sorry.

CROSBY: Do you know whose car that is? It's Glen Hansard's car. He's a troubadour. You can't tow a troubadour.

MAN: Is that a troubadour? Thought it was a Camry.

CROSBY: Okay, you know what? Who--did this woman call you? This horse-faced vile creature, did she put you up to this?

MAN: I just take addresses and license plates, buddy...

CROSBY: I'll tell you what we're gonna do. $500. How does that sound? And you lower it, and everyone's happy.

MAN: $500.

CROSBY: $500 Okay, here's 116.

MAN: [Laughs]

CROSBY: You take the 116. And I'll give you 400 in an hour. I'll come down to wherever...

MAN: Pick it up at the lot off of Valencia. Cash only.

[The man start the trucks engine.]

CROSBY: Wwwait, now I'm making it 616. I give you the 116 now, and then I come down with 500 more.

MAN: Sorry.

CROSBY: 716. [He starts driving off.] Now, come on, man! Are you kidding me? Thanks a lot, buddy. [Glen comes out.] Oh.

GLEN: Hey, is that my car?

CROSBY: Is that your car?

[NEW SCENE - Julia at home with Victor and Sydney, they are sitting at the dinning table doing home work.]

JULIA: Okay, question number four, come on. Come on, you can do it. Give it a shot, you can do it. Come on.

VICTOR: It's easier when I watch how you do it.

JULIA: I'm sure it is. But we did the first three that way, and this one's your turn. So, okay, so when we're adding fractions, the first step is?

SYDNEY: Make sure the denominators are the same.

JULIA: Sydney, okay, this is Victor's homework. So don't interrupt, okay? You remember our rule about not interrupting?

SYDNEY: Yeah, but, mom, it's not interrupting, 'cause Victor wasn't saying anything.

JULIA: He was thinking. And it's hard to think when someone's yelling out the answer. So you do your homework.

VICTOR: I need to get ready for baseball.

JULIA: Oh, no, you don't. Baseball's not for over an hour. Come on, okay, let's do this. Read it out loud. What does it say?

VICTOR: "One half plus 1/4th is equal... To..."

SYDNEY: Is equal to 3/4ths.

JULIA: Sydney, okay. Take your homework and go upstairs.

SYDNEY: Yeah, but I was helping.

JULIA: You were not h--okay. This is not a punishment, but go upstairs, please. Victor and I need some alone time to work on this.

VICTOR: I'll do this later.

JULIA: No, you won't, Victor. We're gonna work on this now.


JULIA: Yes. We are gonna work on this now.

SYDNEY: If Victor doesn't have to do his homework, why do I...

JULIA: He does, and so do you! Please--

VICTOR: I need to get ready for baseball.

JULIA: Victor, if you don't do this, there is no baseball!

[There is silence as Victor pushes the paper to Julia and they stare at each other.]

[NEW SCENE - Marks apartment, he is with Sarah and they are packing their bags for the trips in a awkward silence.]

SARAH: Do you want this blue shirt to wear with your suit?

MARK: No, I got this one.

SARAH: Hey, don't forget your dress shoes. Do you feel like a shoe bag?

MARK: [Sighs]

SARAH: What?

MARK: You don't have to do that.

SARAH: What am I doing?

MARK: You're trying to make it okay that you're packing for your trip and I'm packing for my trip.

SARAH: Yeah, I am.

MARK: But it's not. It's not okay, so let's just... Finish it up and, you know. Pack and...

SARAH: Well, we can make it okay. I said that I would come on Saturday.

MARK: I don't want you to come anymore. I really don't. I want you to do your work thing that's important, and, uh, I'll have a weekend with my friends. And I'll see you on Monday, okay?

SARAH: You know, I am in this tough position, and I just tried to make a really hard choice, and I'm trying to...

MARK: Yeah, exactly, you made a choice, and, you know, I'm sure Hank is very appreciative. You're a great, great employee. You're just a lousy fiancée.

[Opening credits - featuring “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan]

[NEW SCENE - Unknown hotel in Los Angeles. Hank holds the door open for Sarah as they exit the lobby.]

SARAH: So, you just seeing her for lunch.

HANK: Yeah, I'm just gonna see-- about an hour. I guess, I don't know.


HANK: Hey!

RUBY: Daddy! [Laughs] Hey.

HANK: Hey.

[They hug.]

RUBY: [Laughs]


SARAH: You look cute.

RUBY: Oh, thanks.

SANDY: Hello, Hank.

HANK: Sandy.

SANDY: Look at you, here in L.A.

HANK: Yeah, yeah, I told you, I had a last-minute job thing. I couldn't pass it up.

SARAH: Hi, I'm Sarah. I work with Hank, I'm his assistant. Nice to meet you.

[They shake hands before Sarah pulls back again, they tension between Hank and Sandy is high.]

SANDY: Yeah. You know it's not your weekend.

HANK: I do know that, yeah. I told you, this is a job opportunity, and I'm just taking advantage of it. I'm gonna spend time with my daughter. That okay?

SANDY: Okay, so you're telling me that this has nothing to do with Minnesota?

HANK: Why don't we talk about this privately?

SARAH: Hey, Ruby, there's some cookies in the lobby. If it's okay, I'll take her--

BOTH: [Hank and Sandy.] Yeah.

SARAH: Okay.

SANDY: Just don't go too far, sweetie, 'cause I want to say bye to you before I go, okay?

RUBY: Okay.

HANK: I'll be right there.

[They head inside.]

SARAH: There's chocolate chip and something that looks like oatmeal.

[Same time outside.]

SANDY: Look, I don't know what you are hoping to accomplish with this, uh, work trip, but Minnesota is a done deal. I already have a good job offer. My family is there. Public schools are actually a viable option. We need this, and you better not try and sabotage it.

HANK: So my relationship with her, that's not a factor in this, right? Nothing?

[Cut to Sarah and Ruby inside.]

RUBY: You don't have to freak out over them, you know.

[Hank and Sandy can be heard arguing outside.]

RUBY: They've been doing it since forever, so...

[NEW SCENE - Luncheonette, Adam's office.]

CROSBY: Julia says we have to argue that The Luncheonette is a good neighbor, and we got to beg for something called a "Use Variance."

ADAM: Argue with who? And argue where?

CROSBY: At the city council meeting.

ADAM: Well, what happens if we don't argue?

CROSBY: Worse case scenario, like, the far end of the spectrum, she could shut us down.

ADAM: All right, when--when is this city council meeting?

CROSBY: Tomorrow night.

ADAM: It's tomorrow night?

CROSBY: Is that inconvenient...

ADAM: What is wrong with you, Crosby? Why wouldn't you give me a head's up about this?

CROSBY: I thought this was a bluff.

ADAM: Okay, well, we need to talk to her today.

CROSBY: Okay, you're welcome to try to talk to this woman. I've already tried. I went to her house and offered her a gift basket.

ADAM: Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna go talk to her, we're gonna go hat in hand, we're gonna smile, we're gonna be nice, we're gonna apologize, and I'll do the talking.

CROSBY: Okay, that's gonna be great.

ADAM: And I'm gonna say whatever it takes to save our studio.

CROSBY: You think you're gonna have some Jedi mind approach that's gonna somehow, magically...

ADAM: Crosby, Crosby, we're gonna be nice...

CROSBY: All right, I'll witness that...

ADAM: I think now would be a good time for you to get back into the studio with Glen.

CROSBY: Oh, is that what I should do?

ADAM: Yeah, that's where you should be.

CROSBY: Okay, I was like, what am I doing in here?

ADAM: Yeah!

CROSBY: Shouldn't I be somewhere? I couldn't remember where. And now I get it! Thank you for your guidance.

[NEW SCENE - Sarah on her cell phone in the hotel restaurant.]

SARAH: Hi, it's me. I'm--I don't know what I'm doing here. But I was wrong, and I'm thinking about you, and I'm sorry. And I miss you. Call me, okay?

[Outside we can see Hank and Ruby at a table.]

[NEW SCENE - Same time outside with Hank and Ruby.]

HANK: So mom told me about you guys maybe moving to Minnesota.

RUBY: Yeah. [Laughs]

HANK: Anyway, I was just kind of wondering how you feel about the whole thing.

RUBY: About what?

HANK: About maybe moving away.

RUBY: Well, I think it sounds really cool. I mean, I've lived here my whole life and I've never been anywhere, except up to see you. And plus mom says that the houses are way cheaper there. So if we go, we can get a ginormous house. [Laughs] Are you okay?

HANK: Yeah, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. I just thought you might be anxious about moving and-- and leaving your friends and, you know, leaving your school.

RUBY: Yeah.

HANK: And... Being farther away from me.

RUBY: That part's horrible. It is.

HANK: Yeah, I know, I know. You know what? It seems pretty cool, though, right?

RUBY: It does. [Laughs]

HANK: Yeah.

RUBY: It does.

[NEW SCENE - Amber's apartment, She is in bed with Ryan eating.]

AMBER: You ate all the bamboo thingies.

RYAN: I didn't do it on purpose.

AMBER: Mmm, tofu. You love tofu.

RYAN: I don't know if I love it.

AMBER: Bye. [Laughs]

RYAN: Wait, wait, so... What exactly did your Uncle say I was gonna be doing?

AMBER: Well...

RYAN: Specifically.

AMBER: Specifically, I mean, I don't know. Building things, I think, is the general tone of it.

RYAN: No, and, like, I've built things. But I've never built anything legal, like, up to code.

AMBER: Sure, code.

RYAN: He's probably using, like, union guys and stuff that do this all the time.

AMBER: What are you so nervous for?

RYAN: I'm not nervous, I just don't want to be responsible for a building collapsing or something, 'cause I don't know what I'm doing.

AMBER: No, you're gonna be great. They're all gonna love you. Almost as much as I do.

[Ryan kisses Amber in her forehead.]

[NEW SCENE - Los Angeles, Hotel Bar at night. Sarah and Hank are at a table.]

WAITRESS: Here you go.

HANK: Thank you.

SARAH: Did you order that?

HANK: Take one--yeah. Take.

SARAH: That would be three.

HANK: Yeah. You got to do things in threes.

SARAH: Fine.

[She take a drink of the Martini.]

HANK: I don't want to sound like a... Downer...

SARAH: [Snickers] That's impossible.

HANK: But my daughter... Is gonna be living in Minnesota now.

SARAH: Don't think about this now. This is gonna make you too...

HANK: Four hour plane ride.

SARAH: ... sad now.

HANK: That's a four hour plane ride.

SARAH: I understand it's four hours.

HANK: I'm not gonna see her as much. She's gonna be over there. She's gonna be with Sandy's family in Sandy's hometown. And I'm gonna be, like, erased from her life now.

SARAH: You're not gonna be erased from her life, 'cause you won't let that happen.

HANK: You know what the worst part is? I'm putting her in the middle of it. So what am I doing? I feel like a big baby, you know. I made you come, and I have to get my daughter back and you can't do that and... I should have never let it get this far. That's what I should-a not... Done.

SARAH: I think it's very noble. Look, you're gonna show up for her, like you have been. Which is more than my kids' father does, you know, for them.

HANK: Why do you keep looking at your phone?

SARAH: What do you mean?

HANK: Is everything okay? 'Cause I see you looking at that over and over again.

SARAH: There's a lot of calls coming in. I can't talk about it.

HANK: I caused like, trouble, there, right? There's trouble in Candyland, I can tell.

SARAH: What does that even mean?

HANK: Your boyfriend.

SARAH: My fiancée?

HANK: Yeah, I apologize.

SARAH: Look, don't start apologizing now.

HANK: All right, here, come on. [Holds up his drink.] To, um... For you. To Sarah, for thank-- for helping me. All right... Just... Just… you stay there, I'll do it.

[NEW SCENE - Later that night in a hallway of the hotel Hank and Sarah are going to their rooms.]

SARAH: [Laughs drunkenly] I don't know why it's so funny.

HANK: Look at yourself. See?

SARAH: [Laughs louder] Ugh.

HANK: Quiet down. 'Cause I can't find the rooms.

SARAH: [Laughing] I have to lean on you, because I'm falling over.

HANK: Here, all right.

SARAH: I feel like you're hauling me, like potatoes.

HANK: You think I'm holding you up, but I'm actually keeping myself from falling forward.

[Sarah laughs, they round a corner to see Mark sitting on the floor outside Sarah's room, she gasps softly then sighs.]


HANK: Hi. [Mark gets up, not sure what was happening.] Uh...

[NEW SCENE - Short time later in Sarah's room, they are emotional and shoting.]

MARK: What was that? What was that, Sarah?

SARAH: Nothing. That was nothing. I fell in the hallway...

MARK: It didn't look like nothing.

SARAH: Because I'm drunk, okay...

MARK: Right, and you had your arm around him, and your shoes off.

SARAH: I just was holding on because I was drunk.

MARK: And he's walking you to your room?

SARAH: He wasn't. The bar's right there. He just--yeah, we just-- he was just walking me...

MARK: And so what was going to happen after this?

SARAH: Nothing.

MARK: If I wasn't here, what was going to happen?

SARAH: Nothing. Nothing was gonna happen.

MARK: That's not what it looked like.

SARAH: How can you even say that?

MARK: Because you were laughing and you were all over him!

SARAH: I was just laughing!

MARK: This is what you chose instead of to come away with me for the weekend. You chose to be here for work. And then I come here, and I see you, like, on-- in, like, a romantic…

SARAH: It wasn't romantic! No!

MARK: Like I walked in on you guys!

SARAH: No, you didn't walk in on anything!

MARK: I interrupted your special, private--

SARAH: How can you say that? I would never do that to--

MARK: You know what's the stupidest thing about all of this?

SARAH: What?

MARK: Is that I felt really bad that I called you a "Lousy fiancée." And I got your message, and you sounded really sad. So I made up some excuse and got on a plane to come apologize to you, because I thought that's what we should do. Come back and figure it out with Sarah. And then I come back, and here-- and here you are with... This your boss.

SARAH: No, no. You know me!

MARK: Because I…

SARAH: You know that I would not do something like that!

MARK: All right, all right.

SARAH: Can we please just-- just forget it!

MARK: You know what? I need to get some air.

SARAH: No, please don't go, you're scaring me. Just come here for one second.

MARK: I can't talk to you right now.

[Mark leaves the room.]

[NEW SCENE - Next day. Construction site, power tools can be heard. Joel comes up to 2 men, Ryan is trying to fit in and learn his new job.]

JOEL: Morning, guys.

MAN 1: Morning, boss.

MAN 2: Hey, what's up?

JOEL: Is this the stuff that just came in?

MAN 1: Yep.

JOEL: How is it?

MAN 1: Sucks.

JOEL: Yeah, okay. [Laughs, walks over to Ryan.] Morning.

RYAN: Morning.

[Some of the men can be heard chuckling as Ryan struggles with cutting the drywall sheet.]

RYAN: Sorry about that, I--

JOEL: How's it going?

RYAN: It's, uh... It's a learning curve.

JOEL: Yeah.

RYAN: Still getting the hang of it.

JOEL: It's all right. Just take your time with it, you know? Not racing these guys. Make sure you measure it out before you... Hack it.

RYAN: Yes, sir.

JOEL: Yeah. Ryan, you can just call me Joel.

RYAN: Okay.

JOEL: Okay, come-- come see me after.

RYAN: Okay. All right.

MAN 2: Joel, how come you never ask how I'm feeling, man? I got needs too, bro.

JOEL: That's 'cause I don't care about your needs. I thought I made that clear.

MAN 1: Hey, Joel, it's my time of the month.

JOEL: Yeah, yeah.

[Overlapping talking from the men.]

JOEL: Is that why you're so moody?

MAN 1: Hold me. Hold me, Joel! [Chuckling] Nice job, rookie.

[Joel is not having a good day.]

[NEW SCENE - Hotel restaurant. Hanks is at a table, Sarah sits down with him.]

HANK: Hey.

SARAH: The booth is set up. We should get there in the next ten minutes.

HANK: You got, um, any aspirin?

SARAH: I don't think so.

HANK: Nothing in that whole bag?

SARAH: I don't…

HANK: Just a little aspirin? Some… I also want to tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking, um, I'm gonna ask Ruby if she wants to come to Berkeley. You know, live with me.

WAITRESS: Coffee, dear?

SARAH: Yes, God, please, yes.

WAITRESS: Same check?

HANK: That's fine.

SARAH: No, no, it's-- it's separate.


HANK: What do you think of that?

SARAH: What?

HANK: What do you think? About Ruby coming to live with me. She should have the choice, right? I mean... That's only…

SARAH: You know, Hank? It's not my job to fix you.

HANK: Okay, uh...

SARAH: I'm sorry. I had a, uh, exceptionally bad night. And, um, Mark is not answering... The phone.

HANK: Yeah, you know, I get it. I get it.

SARAH: You know, I have a life, and I'm not focused on it. 'Cause I'm thinking about your life. It doesn't really make any sense.

HANK: Yeah, I got it.

SARAH: You're a very nice guy, but I need to…

HANK: Said, "I got it." Uh, let's go.

[NEW SCENE - Luncheonette studio, Glen Hansard is recording a track.]

GLEN: [Singing] And I'm feeling so small against that big sky tonight tonight, all right. [Starts playing the harmonica.]

AMBER: [Entering the booth.] Crosby.

CROSBY: What is it?

AMBER: She's here.

[We see Amber and Crosby talking from Glen's point of view, there is silence in the sound proof studio before Crosby presses the intercom.]

CROSBY: Hey, that-- that was perfect.

GLEN: Thanks, I-- you know, I ran out of breath on the harmonica. If we could just do it again, it'd be great.

CROSBY: Okay, uh, great. Uh, you wanna take five, and catch your breath, and then we'll...

GLEN: I'm good, if you want to go now.

CROSBY: Yeah, do--yeah.

GLEN: 'Cause I wanna do it.

CROSBY: Yeah, um…

[Crosby gives the head set to Amber and starts to leave the booth.]

AMBER: Sorry, you can't, Crosby!

CROSBY: Can you just--I don't know--talk to him.

[The door shuts, Amber smiles and puts on the head set.]

AMBER: [Pressing the intercom.] Hi.


AMBER: [Laughs nervously, scoffs] He'll be right back.


[NEW SCENE - Luncheonette same time in Adam's office.]

ADAM: [Sighs] I'm sure Crosby will be here in just a minute. I really appreciate you making the time. I'm just happy that we could sit down...

MARLYSE: Do you know that that power strip is completely overloaded? I seriously doubt that the wiring in this building is up to code. Do you know that you could have a three-alarm fire within minutes?

ADAM: I can assure you all the wiring is up to code. But thank you very much for pointing that out.

MARLYSE: You're welcome.

ADAM: I'll look into it and make sure that it's not overloaded.

MARLYSE: You're welcome.


ADAM: Crosby.

CROSBY: Sorry I'm late. I was working with Glen Hansard. But since you're early, that definitely takes precedence.

ADAM: All right, um, so we're all here. And I understand that you've had a misunderstanding with my brother.

MARLYSE: Your brother, you, everybody who comes in and out of this building. You people are awful. I wouldn't exactly call that a misunderstanding.

ADAM: Well, I think that it is a misunderstanding.

MARLYSE: I told this one littering, smoking, shouting in the alley, parking in my space. It's ridiculous.

ADAM: Okay, well, these are all the items we want to address, and again, I wanted to do this sooner. I just--I couldn't do it...

MARLYSE: Oh, yeah? You know when things get done? When people feel threatened. Otherwise, they walk all over you. Case in point. [Points to Crosby.]

ADAM: All right, I can assure you that's not the case, here. I've had some pressing family matters to deal with, but I'm here to deal with it now, and--

MARLYSE: Family matters?

CROSBY: His wife has breast cancer, so might want to cut him...

ADAM: Crosby! Please, some respect for the family privacy.

CROSBY: She's acting like it's trivial. Tell her she's going through Chemo.

ADAM: It's true. She's going through chemo and, as you can imagine, it's been a very difficult time.

MARLYSE: Mm-hmm.

ADAM: All right.

MARLYSE: I had that. Last year.

ADAM: Well, I'm very sorry. I know what that's like, and it's a difficult thing, and I'm very sorry you had to go through that. Now, I just want to make sure--

MARLYSE: Wait a second.

ADAM: What?

MARLYSE: You're not trying to use your wife's cancer to get me to drop my complaint, are you?


CROSBY: Oh, Adam!

ADAM: Of course not.

MARLYSE: That'd be really crass.

CROSBY: Is that what you're doing?

ADAM: No. I am simply trying to...



ADAM: Solve these neighborly issues.

MARLYSE: Okay, you know what?

ADAM: Please sit down.

MARLYSE: I'll see you at the city council meeting.

CROSBY: Drive safe, Maureen.

MARLYSE: You know my name.

[Marlyse leaves the room.]

CROSBY: Well, that was impressive. That was like a master class in conflict resolution.

[NEW SCENE - Mark is running on a treadmill in the hotel gym, listening to music. Sarah comes up to him. Mark turns off the machine and catches his breath.]

MARK: [Sighs]

SARAH: Hi, sorry. I didn't want to scare you.


SARAH: I've been looking all over for you.

MARK: You found me. [Presses something on the machine.]

SARAH: The last place I looked.

MARK: [Nervous laughter]

SARAH: What did you do all day?

MARK: This. I--before, I was walking around, trying to... Figure out what I'm doing. I was going to buy a ticket back, but I didn't really feel like... Going back to my apartment right now. So... I just thought I'd come here. [Adjust the treadmill again.]

SARAH: [Whispers] Our apartment. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You have no idea. Nothing was gonna happen last night. Nothing was gonna happen. You have to believe me.

MARK: Okay. Okay.

SARAH: I'm sorry about this whole thing.

MARK: Me too.

SARAH: Can we have dinner... Tonight?

MARK: Yeah.

SARAH: [Whispers] Yeah. Thank you.

MARK: [Curtly] Mm-hmm. I'll just finish this, and then we can go out somewhere.

SARAH: I love you.

[More beeping as Mark sets the treadmill.]

MARK: Me too. I, uh... Let me just finish this up...

SARAH: Yeah.

MARK: And I'll... And then I'll just see you for dinner.

SARAH: Okay.

MARK: [Under breath] Okay...

[NEW SCENE - Kristina is on her couch reading a book while smoking more of the pot, the doorbell rings. She starts to put out the joint, as there is a knock on the door.]


[She looks out the window before opening the door.]



JULIA: How are you?

KRISTINA: Mm... Good. You know, just having a little... Me time.

JULIA: Yeah.

KRISTINA: The kids are out. And I was just, like... [Sighs] Relaxing.

JULIA: Cool, yeah, um...

KRISTINA: I just-- come in.

JULIA: Okay, thanks.


JULIA: I wanted to talk to you about something.


JULIA: So, um... You're such a good mom.


JULIA: You're my guru.

KRISTINA: Oh, you're-- that's nice.

JULIA: Well, yeah, you're always good with...

KRISTINA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

JULIA: Mom stuff.

KRISTINA: I'm I'm smoking pot.

JULIA: I know.

KRISTINA: I was just doping it up. And I'm really sorry.

JULIA: I know.

KRISTINA: I mean, I know I'm not, like... I shouldn't have lied. Did I? I didn't really even lie.

JULIA: No, you didn't, no. And you don't even have to explain yourself. I'm glad that you're getting help with the Chemo.

KRISTINA: Oh, yeah, and it's great.

JULIA: That's great.

KRISTINA: I feel good.

JULIA: Good.

KRISTINA: Why don't you have a seat.

JULIA: Okay. Um...

KRISTINA: I'm just gonna get some water.

JULIA: Okay, here's my problem. Victor is really behind in school.


JULIA: Turns out he missed 47 days last year. So he has no idea what's happening in class. Um, and then, since he can't keep up, he feels stupid. And then he refuses to study...

KRISTINA: And it's like...

JULIA: I'm tutoring him, you know.


JULIA: And I'm going over his homework with him. But that basically just means I'm doing it for him.

KRISTINA: For him, yeah.

JULIA: And... [sighs]

KRISTINA: Like you're doing it all.

JULIA: Yeah.


JULIA: And so I feel like he thinks he's coming home to this witch.

KRISTINA: You're not, you're not.

JULIA: And I don't want to be that way. I know, but I want to be nice, you know?


JULIA: But I also just really want him to catch up, get caught up...

KRISTINA: Gotta catch up.

JULIA: Yeah.

KRISTINA: He has to catch up. That's all there is to it.

JULIA: Yeah.

KRISTINA: Like, he can't not go to sch--do it.

JULIA: So... so what do you do? With Max.

KRISTINA: Max? Well, I... Uh... Well, to be honest with you... We bribe him.


KRISTINA: Yeah, if were on Oprah... I would be like, “Oh, it's an 'incentive system'” but it's just bribery.

JULIA: Wow, okay.


JULIA: And that works.

KRISTINA: It works.


KRISTINA: Where is-- no, it's down here. [Sighs] Here.

JULIA: Ho! Oh, my goodness.

KRISTINA: Different shapes and sizes of candy. We have nuggets of fun. Chocolatey, crunchy, chewy, tangible little treats of joy. Delicious. [She eats some.] Mmm. And it works.

JULIA: It works?

KRISTINA: Yeah, it really works.

JULIA: [Stammers] So what do you use this for?

KRISTINA: Everything.

JULIA: For everything?

KRISTINA: I mean, like, two gummy worms for homework. Take a shower: There's three fish. Take the dog out... And he'll take him out. Listen to me. When you're in the trenches, as a parent, do not feel guilty about this, okay? You gotta do what you gotta do. And you gotta go with what works. You're a good mom.

JULIA: Thanks.

[NEW SCENE - Luncheonette, Adam is standing in front of Ambers desk reciting what he plans on saying at the city council meeting. Amber is busy on her laptop and Crosby is sitting nearby.]

ADAM: The Luncheonette... Is a neighborhood landmark. It has been here since 1956, which is when little bunnies first took over San Francisco. Amber! Could you please not email while I'm doing this? I'm self-conscious enough already...

AMBER: I'm sorry, but I think that you need to see this right now.

ADAM: What is this?

AMBER: Well, it's an email from one of our neighbors. And, apparently... Marlyse has sent it to a lot of people.

ADAM: Is that Crosby?

AMBER: Yeah. I mean, it looks like it to me. [Laughs nervously]

ADAM: Crosby, there's a picture of you in the alley, urinating.

CROSBY: I find that really hard to believe that there's a photograph…

ADAM: Really, okay, well.

[Amber turns the laptop around for Crosby to see.]

AMBER: You're not gonna like this. But, I mean, pretty intense evidence.

ADAM: That's you.

[Crosby comes closer to get a better look.]

CROSBY: Oh, yeah, I went one time. I had locked up and set the alarm.

ADAM: Ah-ha.

CROSBY: And, then, you know. You've never peed in an alley?

ADAM: No, I don't pee in alleys. [To Amber.] Do you pee in alleys?

AMBER: Not lately.

ADAM: Look, she doesn't either.

CROSBY: Okay, I pee at Yosemite, when I go camping.

ADAM: We're not talking about camping. We're not camping here at The Luncheonette, okay? This is our alley. You don't pee in our alley!

CROSBY: Why are you so mad at me? I'm not the enemy.

ADAM: Crosby, she could shut us down!

CROSBY: I had to pee.

[NEW SCENE - Julia at home with Victor.]

VICTOR: Why can't I just have the candy first?

JULIA: Because that's not the way the game works, buddy. Okay, so one correct question: One piece of candy.

VICTOR: This is the stupidest game ever.

JULIA: You know what? [Sighs] You're right. And I'm kinda hungry, actually, so I think I'll just have a couple of these.

VICTOR: Okay, fine, I'll do it.

JULIA: Okay. Mm-hmm. Good. Wait, this--okay. So close. There's one thing you forgot to do. It's with the decimal point. I talked to you about this on the last one. You can do it.

VICTOR: [Slams the pencil down.] No, I can't do it! I'm not like Sydney, okay? I'm stupid! I'm sorry, I'm stupid.

JULIA: Hey, you're not stupid.

VICTOR: Sydney can do all of my homework, and she's a year and a half younger than me.

JULIA: Buddy, there's a big difference between being stupid and just being behind. You missed a lot of school, and so we're playing catch-up here, okay? That's what it is. We just got to put in the time, okay? And if you work hard on this, I promise you, you're gonna ace the test. And it's gonna feel awesome. Okay?

[NEW SCENE - Ryan at the construction site.]

RYAN: Excuse me. Do you need help moving these, over there?

MAN 1: No, kid. You wait for someone to come help you, all right? We don't want you getting too dirty.

[Ryan picks up some of the pipes and starts moving them.]

MAN 1: Hey, kid, let me help you with those.

RYAN: I got it.

MAN 1: Watch your angle.

RYAN: I got it!

MAN 1: Watch your angle!

[He hits a window and the glass shatters.]

MAN 2: Whoa!

RYAN: Ooh. [Sighs]

MAN 1: You really screwed the pooch on that one, kid.

JOEL: Guys, what is going on? Those are $800 windows. What the hell happened?

MAN 2: You hired him.

RYAN: I'm...I'm really sorry. You know, I'm not--I... I shouldn't be here, I... [He takes of his hard hat and walks away.]

JOEL: Ryan. Hey, Ryan, I didn't say you could go. Ryan!

[NEW SCENE - Hotel elevator, Mark is in side as the doors start to close.]

HANK: Hold there, please. Whoop.


HANK: Hey. Oh, thanks.

MARK: Mmhmm.

HANK: [Sighs] So... Going to dinner?

MARK: Yep.

HANK: Yeah.

MARK: You?

HANK: Yeah. Yeah, I'm going a little later on with, uh, my daughter. Hey... Can I say something? Sarah, has just been really helpful, you know, like a shoulder to lean on.


HANK: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, she's been great. She knew this whole thing was a sham, professionally, and...

MARK: A sham? What do you mean, a sham?

HANK: I mean, I just, I booked this job as an excuse just to get face-to-face with my daughter.

MARK: And Sarah knew that?

HANK: Yeah, yeah, uh... Uh... I guess. But the point is, even though she knew that, she came anyway, to help.

MARK: Yeah.

HANK: Yeah. But, I guess, what I'm trying to say is you know, maybe cut her a little slack.

MARK: I should cut her some slack?

[The elevator door opens.]

HANK: Yeah, maybe. A little.

MARK: Well, maybe you should mind your own business.

[NEW SCENE - Julia is on her couch with a glass of wine, the front door opens.]


JOEL: Ooh. [Shuts the door.] Rough?

JULIA: Oh. Not that bad.

JOEL: Nah?

JULIA: He tried. He's gonna have rotten teeth, but he tried.

JOEL: Well, maybe the sugar buzz helps his studying. [Signs]

JULIA: You know, he told me, he thinks he's stupid.

JOEL: Um... Who knows if he meant it. I remember being that age. I'd rather pull out my fingernails than do math.

JULIA: Baby, you didn't see-- he believes it. No one's ever told him that he's smart. I can tell. And no one's ever told him that it's important to study.

JOEL: Yeah.

JULIA: If I could just will him to ace this test tomorrow. I just want him to feel smart, you know?

JOEL: One test is not gonna do that, honey.

JULIA: It could stop the streak, maybe. Every time I try to connect with him, he... Pushes me away. I didn't think it was gonna be this hard.

[NEW SCENE - Night time. Hotel outdoors restaurant. Sarah and Mark are sitting at their table.]

SARAH: What are you gonna get?

MARK: Um... [Sighs] I, uh, I'm sorry. I, uh, I ran into Hank in the elevator, on the way down.

SARAH: [Signs]

MARK: And, uh... He said that-- that this whole job was a sham.

SARAH: No, that's not--

MARK: He said that it was, uh... It was a sham and that he really booked the job so that he could talk to his daughter face-to-face, and...

SARAH: Well maybe, but it doesn't mean it's a sham.

MARK: You knew that and...

SARAH: It was an actual job.

MARK: Right. But he told me that you knew that he needed someone to be here with him, and that's why you came. He needed you. More--more than... Than I needed you.

SARAH: I thought I was doing the right thing, and I didn't. It was the wrong-- it was wrong. It's--

MARK: He needed you like-- like Seth needed you.

SARAH: Seth's the father of my children.

MARK: I know, well, with Seth, I understood. And he was dealing with his addiction, and I let you do what you wanted to do. And I waited for you, because... Well, because you're amazing, and I love you, and you're worth waiting for. But you--you--I feel like you do this thing, where every time there's something good in your life, something that's making you feel good about yourself, or anything like that, you--you just run away from it. And I don't know what that is in you that--that chose to come here instead of come to this wedding with your... Fiancée. But, I just, uh... I really love you, but I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore.

[Sarah is stunned as Mark walks away from the table.]

[NEW SCENE - Next day, Victor and Sydney comes home from school.]

JULIA: Hey! How was the day, guys?

SYDNEY: Hi, mommy.

[Victor turns on the TV. Sydney goes to the kitchen.]

SYDNEY: Guess what.

JULIA: What?

SYDNEY: Victor's not talking to anybody in carpool.

JULIA: Hey, come here. Why don't you scoop out some of these chocolate chip cookies.

SYDNEY: Are we gonna have 'em for dessert?

JULIA: Yeah, we are. Mmm.

[Julia goes to Victor who is watching a cartoon on the TV.]

JULIA: How are you doing?

VICTOR: You are a liar! You said if I worked hard, I was gonna pass this test. You said I was gonna ace it. You're full of it! You're a liar, and I'm stupid.

[Victor drops the test paper and runs up stairs.]

[NEW SCENE - Shortly after Julia knocks on Victors door before opening it. He is bouncing a small ball off the wall.]

JULIA: Hey, Victor. Listen, I know you're mad, buddy, and I get that. [She catches the ball.] But, look at this. Two days ago, you didn't know how to do any of these. Look how many you got right. You worked really hard on this, and I'm proud of you, okay? You know, it doesn't even matter if you get 62 or 92. I'm always gonna love you.

[Victor smiles back at Julia.

[NEW SCENE - City Hall, night time Adam is all alone looks at his watch.]

COUNCIL SECRETARY: Next on the agenda is item 6244a: Marlyse Dagan versus The Luncheonette recording studio. The council will hear statements from both parties before voting on the question of whether to grant a use variance for continued operation. First up is Ms. Dagan. Two minutes, please.

MARLYSE: [Clears throat as she stands at the podium.] Councilmen, staff, and assembled residents of San Francisco, thank you for your time. I recently moved to Haight-Ashbury, and I've had the misfortune of being The Luncheonette's neighbor. My condo and The Luncheonette share a back alley, which has become, due to the recording studio, a haven for drug users, vagrants, and other hooligans.

ADAM: Objection, that is not the truth.


ADAM: There are musicians who go out in the alley and occasionally have a cigarette.

COUNCIL SECRETARY: Mr. Braverman, this is not a court of law. You'll get your chance to respond in just a minute.

ADAM: Sorry.


MARLYSE: Thank you, council secretary. Um, now, if I could please turn your attention to exhibit "A": Loitering, and disturbing the peace. Exhibit "B": Illicit drug use. Hmm, and, uh, my personal favorite, exhibit "C": Lewd and inappropriate acts by its co-owner, Crosby Braverman, who apparently couldn't even be bothered to show up tonight. These activities continue, throughout the night, every day of the week. I ask you, would you want to live next door to this? This is my home. I care about the kind of neighborhood that I live in. These people should not be here. Thank you.

COUNCIL SECRETARY: Thank you, Ms. Dagan, that's your time. All right, Mr. Braverman, we're ready to hear from you. Two minutes, please.

ADAM: Okay, all right. My name is Adam Braverman. I am one of the co-owners of The Luncheonette. And, uh... [Crosby, Amber and others enter.] Where have you been?

CROSBY: Hi, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm late. I'm Crosby Braverman. Thank you for letting us speak. [To Adam.] I got this.

ADAM: You got this?

CROSBY: Yes, I got this.

ADAM: You sure?

CROSBY: Yes, I promise.

ADAM: All right.

CROSBY: Okay. Hi, Marlyse. [Clears throat] I admit, I did pee in the alley. Um, and she filmed it. And I'll let you guys decide which is weirder. Um... [Laughs] Um, look. I probably don't need to tell you guys this, but, uh, since The Luncheonette opened its doors, some of the great rock legends of all time have recorded there: Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin. Um, the Grateful Dead. And they didn't just make great music there, they also created a culture that really came to define the Haight, and the city as a whole. I mean, we flew a tie-dye flag at half-mast when Jerry Garcia died. And I think that's pretty cool of us. But when my brother and I restored The Luncheonette, we weren't trying to be cool. Um, we did it because we both have families to support, and we have employees, and we want to create great music. And we'd like to contribute to the artistic and cultural life of the city. So, um, if it's okay with you guys, um, I've brought some of our neighbors, both business owners and residents, who would like to put in a good word for us.

MARLYSE: No, I object.

COUNCIL SECRETARY: Ms. Dagan, every resident of your zone has a right to weigh in.

JIN-HE: Hello, my name is Jin-he min.

MARLYSE: Oh, come on.

JIN-HE: And I own the dry cleaners. [Crosby adjusts the microphone.] thank you. Across the street from the luncheonette. The Bravermans are kind, respectful neighbors and have added a vitality to this community.

[NEW SCENE - Cut to The Luncheonette, Glen Hansard is singing “High Hope”.]

GLEN: [Singing] Maybe when our hearts have realigned, maybe when we've both had some time. I'll see ya there.

[We see Adam, Crosby and Amber in the control both smiling as they listen, they toast their win as the song continues through the final scenes.]

[NEW SCENE - Joel knocks on Ryan's door, he's inside but doesn't answer. Disappointed Joel walks away.]

[NEW SCENE - A clearly upset Marlyse puts up a No Parking sign in the alley 'No! No! No! Luncheonette!!!”.]

[NEW SCENE - At home Victor and Julia share some cookies in the kitchen.]

[NEW SCENE - Hotel lobby, Hank says goodbye to Ruby. Sandy looks on as they hug. Sarah walks up with her bags.]

SARAH: How'd it go?

HANK: Not good. How'd it go with you?

SARAH: Not good.

[Hanks picks up his bag and they leave via the escalator.]

[NEW SCENE - Back at the Luncheonette, they are happy at the outcome.]

Episode End
4.10 - Trouble in Candyland
Original Airdate (NBC) December 4, 2012
Written by Jesse Zwick
Directed by Dylan K. Massin

Transcribed by Craig Best
Original subtitles from www.addic7ed.com

Please Don't Use Without Permission!

This is a transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, some settings have been added where needed along with actions and/or camera movements where I felt they were necessary. "PARENTHOOD" and other related entities are owned, their respective companies and no copyright infringement is intended..
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