3.07 - Forced Family Fun
Transcript by Craig Best

This is a Beta copy
please contact me for any corrections or additions

[Opening scene - Morning, Kristina is cooking up a feast as the family starts to come into the kitchen.]

KRISTINA: Okay, who wants chocolate chip pancakes? Yummy yum! Hot and chocolaty.

MAX: I want some. Can I eat 'em in front of the TV?

KRISTINA: No, you may not eat them in front of the TV. We're having a very special breakfast for a very special day.

MAX: Eating them in front of the TV would make it even more special.

KRISTINA: We're eating together as a family, okay?

HADDIE: Whoa, are you having people over after we leave?

KRISTINA: No, this is for us, just the family. Have a seat.

ADAM: [On the phone] This is exactly the kind of crap that I knew I'd have to deal with.

KRISTINA: What happened, honey? What's wrong?

ADAM: Oh, this very large, very expensive piece of equipment is supposed to be at the studio today between 11:00 and 2:00, and these jackass moving guys say it supposed to be there between 8:00 and 11:00. They're there now.

KRISTINA: Okay, Adam. She can understand the word "jackass."

ADAM: Oh, oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

HADDIE: No, she can't.

ADAM: These moving guys are aggravating your daddy. Yes, they have, and I'm very sorry.

KRISTINA: [Baby talk as Nora.] It's okay, daddy. It's okay…

MAX: You're not supposed to talk to babies like that, it can lead to speech delay.

HADDIE: That's what he did with you.

ADAM: Haddie, not funny.

[Nora cries]

ADAM: Honey, why is the table all set?

KRISTINA: Because we're having a very special breakfast for a very special day.


KRISTINA: Does anybody know why it's a very special day?

ADAM: Haddie, help me out.

HADDIE: I wouldn't know. It's your question.

ADAM: I don't know what it is. What is it?

KRISTINA: Nora's turning 5-1/2-weeks old today.

ADAM: Right.

MAX: That's not a significant passage of time.

ADAM: Max, it is, because Dr. Prestidge said that at 5 1/2 weeks, Nora can mix with the unwashed public, and so we're having pancake breakfast.

KRISTINA: Good girl.

ADAM: But honey, I gotta get to work, I'm sorry.

KRISTINA: You mean you're not gonna eat?

ADAM: I gotta go meet these moving guys. I love you guys.

KRISTINA: Honey, we haven't even…

ADAM: See you later. I gotta go. I gotta deal with this. I love you, honey.

KRISTINA: You, too. Okay. Special day. Guess what? We're all gonna eat together. Me, you, Haddie, and Nora. My three special kids on this special, special day. Okay?

[A car horn honks]

HADDIE: I'm sorry, that's Jen. I have to go to a student counsel meeting.

KRISTINA: Okay. All right.

HADDIE: Ooh, don't cry. Please don't cry.

KRISTINA: Bye, honey.

MAX: Now dad's gone, can I just go eat in front of the TV?

KRISTINA: Sure. Go ahead.

MAX: I'm just gonna go eat in front of the TV.

KRISTINA: Okay. [Singsong] We're gonna have some pancakes. [Takes a bite.] Just get fatter and fatter.

[NEW SCENE - Julia's office, it's busy as Julia spots the abandoned coffee cart. Looking around she finds Zoe hiding around a quite corner eating.]

ZOE: Oh, my God.

[They both laugh]

ZOE: It is not what it looks like.

JULIA: Mm-hmm.

ZOE: [Laughs] I know I'm slacking, but this power is greater than me. I gotta eat.

JULIA: I do understand. Your secret's safe with me.

ZOE: [Mouth full] Okay, good.

JULIA: [Laughs] I had such crazy cravings.

ZEEK: Oh, right?

JULIA: Oh, my God, you're eating Sushi.

ZOE: I know, 8:00 a.m. Sushi. So gross, right? [Laughs] And yet, it's so good. Mmm!

[NEW SCENE - Rehab centre, Seth and Sarah walk down a hallway.]

SARAH: How's it been?

SETH: Um, it's harder than I thought it was gonna be. I almost bailed the first week.

SARAH: Really?

SETH: Yeah.

SARAH: Dr. Patrick did not tell me that.

SETH: You been talking to Dr. Patrick?

SARAH: Yeah. I call him. Every day.

SETH: Oh. [Laughs] Well, he wouldn't know, 'cause bailing on a program's not something you share with your counselor.

SARAH: Guess not. So what made you stay?

SETH: You. I mean, if I'm gonna be honest, which they tell me is part of the recovery program, it was you, and I hated you for it.

SARAH: Well, go ahead and hate me, just stay sober.

SETH: I know it's gonna take a long time to earn your forgiveness, but I'm gonna try. 'Cause I want this. I mean, for the first time in my life, I want it.

[NEW SCENE - Jasmine's apartment, Crosby enters without knocking.]

CROSBY: Hey, Jasmine, we're a little early. I gotta get to the studio.


[Awkward pause as Crosby sees Jasmine has a house guest.]

JASMINE: Good morning. Uh, you remember Dr. Prestidge.

JOE: Joe. I mean you can--you can just call me Joe. Good mornin', Jabbar.

JABBAR: Hi, Dr. Joe.

[Opening credits - featuring “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan]

[NEW SCENE - Jasmine's Apartment there is an awkward pause.]

JASMINE: 20 minutes early! Oh. What a fun surprise, [Quietly to Crosby] you're early for the first time in your life. [Normal voice.] Otherwise Jabbar wouldn't have had a chance to say hi to Dr. Joe.

JABBAR: Why is the doctor here? Do I have to get a shot?

JASMINE: No, no, sweet…

CROSBY: Yeah, does he have to get a shot?

JASMINE: No, no.

JOE: No, I was actually out of coffee, you know, at my house, and I hear your mom makes a really excellent cup. Mmm.

JABBAR: Oh, okay. I'm gonna go play with my Lego bricks.



JOE: I should go. And, uh, you know, my stuff's in the…

JASMINE: Yeah, it's in--it's…

JOE: Yeah, that's good, yeah. Through, uh...That.

CROSBY: Yeah. I'm gonna take off, too.

JASMINE: Crosby…

CAMILLE: Yeah, I already got coffee, so...

[Crosby closes the door with a bang.]


[Jabbar making airplane noises as he plays. Joe comes back out.]

JOE: Oh.

JABBAR: Hey, what's in the bag?

JOE: Uh, doctor stuff. Gauze, band-aids, stuff like that.

JABBAR: Can I see?

JASMINE: Um, He's--Dr. Joe's in a hurry, sweetie.

JOE: Hey, is that a Tonka truck?

JABBAR: I got it for my birthday.

JOE: You know what? We have something similar down at the hospital, but nowhere nearly as cool. Does the truck bed raise and lower?

JABBAR: Yeah, you wanna see?

[Jasmine and Joe exchange looks.]

JOE: Yeah. Let's see what this baby can do.

JABBAR: Ready?

JOE: Yeah.

[Jabbar makes mechanical sounds as he lifts the truck bed.]

JOE: [Laughs]

JABBAR: Okay, ready?

JOE: Ready.

JABBAR: Dump it on the floor.

JOE: On the floor? That's definitely an option.

[Legos clatter as they play.]

[NEW SCENE - Julia and Joel in their kitchen preparing a meal.]

JOEL: Spicy tuna or California?

JULIA: Tuna. I--or was it California? I don't even know. It doesn't matter.

JOEL: Yeah, it does. California's cooked.

JULIA: No, but it's crab. She shouldn't be eating crab in any form.

JOEL: Are you sure?

JULIA: Cooked, raw.

JOEL: Really?

JULIA: Yeah. I think so. I don't know. I never ate it because The Little Mermaid. That dancing crab killed it for me.

JOEL: Right. Sebastian? I thought that was a lobster.

JULIA: No, he's a crab.

JOEL: What about lobster?

JULIA: He was a crab.

JOEL: No--sorry--I'm on--can she eat lobster?

JULIA: Googling it. [Goes to her laptop.]

JOEL: Yeah. Get on it. Yup. Parasites, high Mercury levels. Yeah, you gotta talk to her.

JULIA: Is that weird?

JOEL: No, [stutters] It's not gonna be weird, unless you make it weird. You just be casual.

JULIA: Okay, I can be casual.

[Joel give Julia a look, doubtful she can be casual.]

[NEW SCENE - Max's bedroom, he's alone on his bed watching his pet lizard. Kristina is in the hallway.]

KRISTINA: [Whispering] Let's go see what big brother's doing. Let's go see. [Gasps] there he is. Hi, Max. [Normal voice.] Hey, Max, honey, Nora and I are gonna watch a movie. You want to watch with us?

MAX: No. Rodney's shedding his skin.

KRISTINA: Oh, very cool. Maybe we could watch with you.

MAX: No. Rodney doesn't like crowds.

KRISTINA: [Whistling] Okay.

HADDIE: Excuse me.

KRISTINA: Hey, there's Haddie.

HADDIE: Hi. Whoa, hello.

KRISTINA: Hi. Hi, big sister.


KRISTINA: We're gonna watch Mouse Hunt. You wanna watch?

HADDIE: Uh, I have to go study.

KRISTINA: Okay, well, it's a school night. Did you ask dad?

HADDIE: Yeah, dad said it's fine. I just can't really study when you're making so much noise.

KRISTINA: Really? I didn't think that was a problem. She's just, you know, a baby.

HADDIE: No, no. I just don't wanna have to stress out about studying Spanish.


HADDIE: Adios!

KRISTINA: Adios. [Calling.] Hey, Adam.

[Moves down the hall to the master bedroom.]


[Adam is listening to heavy metal music on his laptop through ear buds.]


ADAM: Yeah?

KRISTINA: Are you all right?

ADAM: Yeah.

KRISTINA: What are you doing?

ADAM: Oh, it's just this band that Crosby's trying to get. It feels like nails being driven directly into my head.

KRISTINA: Oh. Okay, did you know Haddie's having trouble studying because of the baby?

ADAM: Yeah, yeah. She's 17. She has her own life. I think she's just looking--things have been a little chaotic around here.

KRISTINA: We need a family night. This family is completely disconnected. We're never home at the same time, and when we are, we're all in different rooms, and it's crazy. We need a family fun night.

ADAM: A family fun night?

KRISTINA: Fun night, damn it!

ADAM: Okay, okay, all right. Yeah.


ADAM: Family fun night, I'm in.


ADAM: Lookin' forward to it.

[Adam puts the ear buds back in. Kristina is happy.]

KRISTINA: [Laughs] Gonna have fun!

[NEW SCENE - Night, Braverman kitchen. Sarah is heating something in the microwave.]

ZEEK: Hey.


ZEEK: Oh, uh, your mother set out a plate for you. You found it, huh? Yeah.

SARAH: Yeah.

ZEEK: Hey, uh, she said that you went and saw Seth, right?

SARAH: Yeah.

ZEEK: She said you're gonna go see him tomorrow. That right? You're gonna keep seeing this guy? [Sarah nods.] How many times are you gonna go see him?

SARAH: I don't know.

ZEEK: Oh, yeah. Well, don't you think it's time to set some boundaries, Sarah? I mean, this is how it always starts.

[Sarah gets her food from the microwave.]

SARAH: I am setting boundaries.

[She leaves the house.]

[NEW SCENE - Luncheonette

CROSBY: Okay, Roy Orbison, let me check your mic level. Say something.

JABBAR: What should I say?

CROSBY: Uh, maybe count to three? Or no, no. You know what? Tell me a joke.

JABBAR: Knock knock.

CROSBY: Who's there?


CROSBY: Says who?

JABBAR: Says me, that's who.

CROSBY: [Laughs] That's a pretty--it's a pretty good joke.

JABBAR: Dr. Joe taught it to me.

CROSBY: When'd he teach you that?

JABBAR: This morning. I used to think he was scary, but he's not. We filled up my truck with Lego bricks and made it dump all over my Ewok Village. It was so funny.

CROSBY: You want to sing?

JABBAR: Okay. [Singing.] My name's Jabbar, and I got good hair…

[NEW SCENE - Julia's office, she approached the coffee cart.]

JULIA: Morning, Zoe.

ZOE: What's up? Usual?

JULIA: Yes, that would be awesome. Here.

ZOE: Uh, right. Okay.

JULIA: I'm ready. How are you?

ZOE: Uh, I'm fat. Thanks for asking.

JULIA: You don't look it at all.

ZOE: And yourself?

JULIA: I'm well, thank you.

ZOE: Mm, that wasn't believable.

JULIA: Well, I do have to talk to you about something, though, and it's kind of awkward, 'cause it's about the baby. So you were eating Sushi.

ZOE: I know, spicy tuna rolls. So good.

JULIA: Yeah. Um, but you can't do that when you're pregnant.

ZOE: What, eat lunch for breakfast? Illegal. [Laughs]

JULIA: Eat Sushi.

ZOE: [Pause.] Ahh! [Thinking it's a joke.]

JULIA: Cooked crab and lobster are apparently okay in moderation, but, like, super-super-moderation. This is just according to what I googled. And, um, raw fish, you know, it should be probably avoided entirely, and lobster, too, and the crab, just to be safe.

ZOE: You Googled my eating habits?

JULIA: Well, I wanted to make sure that I was right before I brought it up, you know? And Joel didn't remember, so, yeah, I googled it, and…

ZOE: And you talked to your husband about what I'm eating. Joel.

JULIA: No, hey--

ZOE: Joel the fish expert.

JULIA: This is coming out wrong. Okay, we couldn't even remember, you know, all the things that you are or aren't supposed to eat, so we don't blame you at all for not knowing.

ZOE: [Laughs] Okay.

JULIA: And "blame" is the wrong word there.

ZOE: Thanks. [Handing Julia her coffee.] Next. Hi, what can I get for you?

WOMAN: Decaf, please.

[NEW SCENE - Luncheonette, Adam is interviewing for a receptionist.]

ADAM: Thanks for comin' in. We'll give you a call.

ZEEK: Hey.

ADAM: Hey. Pop, what are you doin' here? Everything okay?

ZEEK: Can I talk to you for a second?

ADAM: Yeah. Just, uh, just give me one minute, okay? Bianca? Bianca. Uh, just head right in there, and we'll--we'll be right with you.

ADAM: [To Zeek.] What's goin' on?

ZEEK: Well, Can we go...

ADAM: Are you okay?

ZEEK: Yeah, kinda. You know, Sarah has been callin' rehab every day to check up on, uh, Seth.

ADAM: Mm-hmm.

ZEEK: And, uh, yesterday she went to see him.

ADAM: Mm-hmm.

ZEEK: And it's just... Scarin' the hell out of me, son.

ADAM: Yeah. I hear you, Dad. That's, uh... But you know, it's her business. We gotta let her... do her thing here.

ZEEK: No, it's--no, it's really my business. It's family business. You know, she's my daughter. You think about it, if something like this were to happen to Haddie. You know? How would you feel? What would you do? Son, it just tears your heart out, I'm tellin' ya. [Sighs] This guy's responsible... for what happened to her. I mean, that's why she's back here, and she starts to get her life back together again, you know, everything starts to seem to be copasetic, and then this guy shows back up again, and, um, and I don't know what to say. I'm doin' all the wrong things.

ADAM: So you talked to her.

ZEEK: I ta--yeah, I talked to her, and she just kinda shut me out. You know.

ADAM: What can I do for you?

ZEEK: Would you talk to her?

ADAM: I don't know if it'll do any good, but I'll talk to her.

ZEEK: Thanks, Adam. Thank you.

ADAM: All right, Pop.

[He pats Zeek on his back.]

[NEW SCENE - Luncheonette later that same day, Adam and Crosby are alone now.]

ADAM: You know some of these applications are lookin' pretty grim, you know. We might want to start havin' a serious conversation about upping the receptionist's salary.

CROSBY: Yeah. Whatever.

ADAM: This isn't a "yeah, whatever," this is a serious business decision, okay?

CROSBY: I'm gonna have to say something to Jasmine...

ADAM: And we have to pull money from somewhere else...

CROSBY: Because what she did this morning, is the--you know, is…

ADAM: We're gonna have to pull money from someplace else, and I don't know where it's gonna come from…

CROSBY: A total violation of the agreement we have.

ADAM: You're not even listening to me.

CROSBY: Well, maybe you're not listening to me. This is serious. This is a big deal.

ADAM: All right.

CROSBY: Okay? We had an agreement. No significant others around Jabbar.

ADAM: Mm-hmm.

CROSBY: So why is there a pediatrician playing Tonka trucks with my son--it's not cool.

ADAM: Crosby, you were 20 minutes early. If you'd gotten there on time, he could have been gone.

CROSBY: You know what, it is impossible for you to ever look at it from my point of view? You always gotta go straight to Jasmine.

ADAM: I'm tryin' to look at the whole picture, okay? I get it, okay? You guys are sharing custody, and that's tough. And I'm just saying that she was probably just doin' the best she could in an awkward situation. [His cell phone rings.] Hold on a sec.

CROSBY: You know, if I were late, that's what you'd be yellin' at me about.

ADAM: [On the phone.] Hey, honey.

CROSBY: Is that Kristina?

ADAM: Hey--yes.

CROSBY: Run the situation by her. I guarantee she says it's bogus.

ADAM: I'm not gonna--hi, hold on, honey.

WOMAN: I was told you were ready for me?

ADAM: Uh, Dottie?

DOTTIE: Yeah, hi.

ADAM: Hi, just please take a seat. I'm gonna be back here in a minute. My brother's gonna start the interview, okay?

DOTTIE: Hi. Hi, I'm Dottie. Here's my resume.

CROSBY: Oh. Um, I'm gonna be completely honest with you, my brother usually handles the interview stuff, so I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do.

DOTTIE: Well, you could just ask me some questions.

CROSBY: Okay. Yeah, um, all right, uh, here's a question. Let's say, hypothetically, you share custody of a six-year-old with your ex-fiance. How do you handle that?

[NEW SCENE - Kristina at home on the phone to Adam while she does the laundry.]

KRISTINA: Listen, I thought of an activity that we can all do as a family.

ADAM: [On phone] Family fun night, right.

KRISTINA: You know, it has to be really fun, or else no one's gonna want to go. So what do you say to bowling?

ADAM: I say. Max hates bowling.

KRISTINA: Since when?

ADAM: Well, since Chris Barnes won the PBA tour.

KRISTINA: Who's Chris--that doesn't even make any sense. I don't--

ADAM: You're right about that. Maybe we should try to reason with him.

KRISTINA: Okay. Okay, what about the Arcade? He loves the Arcade.

ADAM: Yeah, he loves it, but Haddie would kill us.

KRISTINA: [Sighs] Okay. How about--how 'bout ice skating?

ADAM: Come on.

KRISTINA: Ice skating's so fun.

ADAM: Kristina, a newborn on ice? You can't do that.

KRISTINA: You know what, honey, you're not coming up with any brilliant ideas yourself.

ADAM: Honey, listen, I'm gonna do the best that I can to come up with something, but I just--I feel like maybe you're right, you know, maybe it's just too soon for us to find an activity that all of us can enjoy together, we should just wait.

KRISTINA: No, honey, Haddie's gonna go off to college, and we have a tiny little window right now, okay? I want to do something as a family, so think of something, because this is happening, okay?

[Phone beeps as she hangs up.]

[NEW SCENE - Mark's apartment, Sarah knocks before Mark opens the door.]


MARK: Sarah.


MARK: Hi, you're early.

SARAH: Yeah.

MARK: [Chuckles] Um, for our date, you're like--I'm not quite ready yet.

SARAH: I can't go out with you tonight. I have to cancel. I'm so sorry. It's because of Seth. He's got some counseling session tonight he's asked me to come to. I just think I should go.

MARK: Okay.

SARAH: He's in such a fragile place. I--I couldn't say no.

MARK: Okay.

SARAH: I feel so bad, I almost thought of making up a story, you know, my cat got sick, or something, and then I thought, "What am I doing? This is ridiculous." I--

MARK: That would've been a bad line, anyway, 'cause I know you don't have a cat, so would've figured it out real quick.

SARAH: No, I would've had to get a cat, and then poison it for it to be sick.

MAX: [Laughs] Wow, all right, well, how do--how are you feeling about that? I mean, counseling session with…

SARAH: I don't know, I feel--it's crazy, I--I'm worried about him, and I'm, you know, I'm worried about--you, and so I just feel overwhelmed, I guess. I feel bad.

MARK: No, you're fine. You don't have to…

SARAH: I feel bad.

MARK: To worry about me. I understand that this is your life right now, and...

SARAH: Mm-hmm.

MARK: You never have to make up a story for me. It was better to tell me. It would have been a great dinner, and I had a surprise, but…

SARAH: no.

MARK: Um, but, uh, I hope tonight goes, um... I don't even know what adjective I'm lookin' for.

SARAH: I hope tonight goes... too.

MARK: Um, and I want you to know that... that you can't keep canceling on me last minute. That's... that's just not gonna be okay with me. [Laughs]

[NEW SCENE - Joel getting out of his car at home, speaking to Julia on his cell phone.]

JOEL: Well, did you say it conversationally, or lecture-y?

JULIA: [On the phone in her office.] I tried to keep it conversational, but words just kept pouring out of my mouth.

[Getting some shopping out of the car.]

JOEL: Jules, I know I wasn't there, but I have a strong feeling you're over-reacting. You know, Zoe just probably needed time to process. Have you seen her since?

JULIA: No, I've been hiding in my office. I haven't peed in like seven hours.

JOEL: Oh, as long as you're not over-reacting.

JULIA: Joel, she had no idea that there are things that you can't eat--I don't think she has anyone in her life to tell her these things, to have these conversations.

JOEL: Well, that's why you had to say something, hon.

JULIA: She was so hurt. She was so embarrassed.

JOEL: I know you feel bad.

JULIA: Oh! Joel, what if she changes her mind?

JOEL: Julia, it's just-- deep breaths, honey.

JULIA: Okay. [Breathes out] All right. I'm acting crazy. I just don't want to screw it up. And I really, really have to pee.

JOEL: Julia.

JULIA: Yeah.

JOEL: She needed to hear what you said.

JULIA: Yeah.

[NEW SCENE - Conceling session for Seth.]

SETH: You know, I still got some pretty big issues with some of the things that you guys are teachin' us around here, you know? I mean, I was in group last week, and, uh, we started out just like always, tryin' to one-up each other with, you know, all the horrible things we've done, and it's my turn, and I give my laundry list of... Forgotten birthdays, and, uh, you know, all the times I didn't come home, and... You know, I--I even sold my kid's baseball cards once for drug money. I mean, you didn't even know that.

DR. PATRICK: Sarah? You want to talk about how that makes you feel?

SARAH: No. [Clears throat] I'll just listen.


SETH: I don't know, anyway, after group we do this hand-holding deal where we recite one of these rehab mantras.

DR. PATRICK: "We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."

SETH: Yeah, that's the one.


SETH: So I go back to my room, and my roommate, Bobby, he's not there, but the mail had come, because there's a... card propped up on his nightstand.

It's one of these crayon--crayon, you know, obviously his kid made it, and, uh, you know, I sh--I shouldn't have, but I opened it, and, uh, it said, "I miss you, Daddy. Get well soon, Daddy." And I looked at my nightstand, I've got a couple guitar picks there and some loose change, and I know I don't deserve anything else, I mean, I know you gotta earn a card like the one Bobby's got, but it made me start thinkin' about my kids, Amber and Drew, especially Amber. Um, when she was Bobby's kid's age. Do you remember, after her seventh birthday party, that night, when you finally got her to go to sleep? Do you remember what happened?

SARAH: It's the first time I asked you to go to rehab.

SETH: That's right. And I shoulda gone. "We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it." No way, man. Uh-uh, Doc, I'm not buyin' that. 'Cause until the day I die, I'm gonna regret not listening to my wife that night, because if I did, I'd have a different life. I'd have a better life. Maybe we'd still be a family.

[NEW SCENE - Sarah talking to Julia at her house.

JULIA: Did you want more?

SARAH: Yes. Is this tacky? Is this wrong, that I'm guzzling wine as I talk about visiting rehab?

JULIA: I don't think it is at all. Anyway, tell me about the session.

SARAH: Oh, so he says, if he'd gotten sober years ago, maybe we'd still be a family. You know what? I need, like, whiskey, or something harder.

JULIA: He said that?

SARAH: Yeah. I mean, I can't stop thinking about it, 'cause that's what I've always thought. Maybe we would. But he didn't. He didn't get sober, and he did terrible things, and for a long time I thought I would never love anybody again.

JULIA: Does Mark know anything about this?

SARAH: You know, some. I just--I don't want to talk about it all the time, which is hard, because it's all I'm thinking about all the time. So it makes me a bad girlfriend.

JULIA: You're an amazing ex-wife, though.




JULIA: No? Well, sorry. I mean that truly, you're--you're being supportive of Seth, it's--it's nice.

SARAH: But is it crazy to be supportive of Seth? Why am I supportive of Seth? Can he really stay sober?

JULIA: I do have vodka in the freezer.

SARAH: Awesome.

JULIA: Okay.

[NEW SCENE - Night, Adam arrives home. Kristina is playing with Nora who is babbling.]

KRISTINA: Oh. [Laughs] Goo goo goo goo goo.

NORA: [Laughs and makes baby noises.]


ADAM: Honey, I have figured out the family-fun-night puzzle. Okay? We've got a newborn.


ADAM: An 11-year-old with Asperger's and a teenager, but one thing we can all enjoy...


ADAM: Two words.


ADAM: Maybe one word, hyphenated.

KRISTINA: Okay, what--what is it?

ADAM: Mini golf.

KRISTINA: Mini golf.

ADAM: Mini golf.

KRISTINA: I like it.

ADAM: You like that?


ADAM: Come on.

[They bump fists to celebrate.]

ADAM: Boom!

KRISTINA: Wow, good idea. Mini golf.

ADAM: Mini golf.

[NEW SCENE - Next day, Braverman guesthouse, Sarah is talking to Drew and Amber.]

DREW: I mean, is he getting out soon, or what?

SARAH: Well, they keep him for a certain amount of time, and then we'll see, you know? I mean, he might go through…

DREW: Well, okay, I guess--do you think he's gonna get better, or not?

AMBER: I mean, it's not a disease. I mean, it's not like the flu, he's not gonna get better...

DREW: I'm sorry.

AMBER: But maybe he'll stop making bad choices, and that's…

SARAH: Well, actually, it is a disease.

AMBER: Well, sure, but it's also making choices, so…

SARAH: It is also making choices. He made the choice to go into rehab, he's doing well.

AMBER: Great, I'm just saying.

SARAH: And I just wanted to tell you guys that. I've been worried about him. I figured you guys might be worried about him, and I'm just letting you know that so far he's doing okay, and thought you would like to know, 'cause I'm gonna go see him later.

AMBER: Great.

DREW: Well, tell him I said hi. [Chuckles]

AMBER: Yeah, me, too, I mean... Definitely.

SARAH: That'll make him feel really good, you guys.

[NEW SCENE - Julia's office. Zoe's at her coffee cart at Julia approaches.]

JULIA: I micromanage. It's what I do.

ZOE: Oh, my God. Are you serious? Look, I got the message loud and clear yesterday, okay? I'm not gonna feed your baby raw fish. You got it. All right, boss? Thanks.

JULIA: Zoe, I would've had that conversation with you, regardless of our arrangement, okay? I don't know if anybody's telling you these things, and it's just something that you needed to know. So, um, here.

ZOE: What is that?

JULIA: It is chicken and roasted potatoes, and a little kale.

ZOE: What is kale?

JULIA: It is a green, leafy vegetable, and Joel says it's a super food. It's really trendy right now, and it tastes good.

ZOE: Is this some kind of bribe, or something?

JULIA: Nope. You deserve to have someone make you a nice lunch. Pregnancy is exhausting, and what you're doing, emotionally, is--anyway, okay, I'm done, so... You know, you also deserve to have someone make you a nice dinner, so if you want to come over tomorrow night... Um, also, plastic can't go in the microwave, 'cause it releases the chemicals into the food…

ZOE: Oh, my God, are you for real?

JULIA: You knew that one. Good. Okay. [Laughs] Going now.

[Julia goes into her office and closes the door, Zoe takes a look at the kale.]

[NEW SCENE - Jasmine's apartment, she's busy in the kitchen when someone knocks at door.]

JASMINE: Who is it?

[The knocking continues.]

JASMINE: Who is it?

CROSBY: [Through the un open door.] It's Crosby.

JASMINE: Door's open.

[Crosby knocks again, Jasmine gets up to open the door.]

JASMINE: Door's open, didn't you hear me?

CROSBY: Well, I don't want to surprise you. God knows who's in here.

JASMINE: I'm alone. What's up?

CROSBY: Jabbar told me he spent the whole day playing trucks with Dr. Joe.

JASMINE: All day? It was 15 minutes.

CROSBY: Okay, well, even if it were five minutes. We had a deal, and you broke it.

JASMINE: The deal was that you drop him off at 7:30.

CROSBY: Oh, okay, I'll just ignore all the times you bitched at me for being late. Now I'm early, and I'm in trouble. Maybe you should put a clock out in front of the door, and I can just watch it tick, and then not…

JASMINE: You know what, you're being irrational right now.

CROSBY: I don't want that guy around my kid, period!

JASMINE: Okay, now you're not being irrational...

CROSBY: Do you understand that?

JASMINE: You're being insane. It was a short visit. No one got hurt.

CROSBY: I did! I got hurt. I have to listen to Jabbar talk about how fun it is hanging with Dr. Joe? How hilarious it was when he dumped his blocks on his Ewoks? I don't want to be replaced. He's my son.

JASMINE: You're right. We had a deal. I shouldn't let Joe stay.



CROSBY: Thank you.

JASMINE: [Sighs]

[NEW SCENE - Outside the Braverman guesthouse, Adam approaches Sarah sitting on her front steps with her laptop.]

ADAM: Hey.


ADAM: What's up?

SARAH: Uh, nothing.


SARAH: Sorry, just one second.

ADAM: That's all right. I was just returning this toolbox.

SARAH: Uh-huh.

ADAM: Yeah, I just borrowed some tools for dad, we had some stuff at the studio that was broken, and I had to fix it, so…

SARAH: You needed tools.

ADAM: Yup.

SARAH: Yeah.

ADAM: So how's it goin'?

SARAH: Oh, it's terrible. I write something and I like it at night, and then I wake up in the morning, and it's--I think it's so stupid.

ADAM: Yeah.

SARAH: I guess that's normal.

ADAM: Yeah, writing's hard, especially when you're--you're probably distracted. With Seth bein' in rehab, and all. Right? How's that goin'?

SARAH: [Laughs] This is an ambush.

ADAM: It's not an ambush.

SARAH: There aren't even really tools in that box, are they?

ADAM: Come on, Sarah. [Shakes the tool box.] It's like…

SARAH: No, I don't think so. Dad sent you. Right?

ADAM: Yeah, dad sent me.

SARAH: Yeah.

ADAM: Look, he's a meddler, he's a pain in the ass, okay, but his heart's in the right place. He's worried about you.

SARAH: That's fine. Just tell him--just to stay out of it.

ADAM: I don't think he can. He's worried about you, Sarah, and so am I.

SARAH: Okay, well, I got it.

ADAM: All right. [Clears throat]

SARAH: Oh, boy.

ADAM: I'm gonna say something to you, okay? This isn't comin' from dad. This is comin' from me. You need to be careful. We've been down this road with Seth before, and we've seen where it leads, so...

SARAH: Thank you, but haven't been down this road before with Seth. I have been down this road, many, many times, which is how I know, this time he is capable of change.

ADAM: I believe that you really want that to be true, but I don't think Seth is ever gonna change the way that you are hoping that he will or expecting him to.

SARAH: How do you know what I'm hoping or expecting? I just want something better to happen. I--it's like saying, you know, give up on Sarah, she hasn't done anything yet with her life, give up on Amber, she had that rough patch last year, I--how can I give up? I can't give up. He is capable of change. I believe that. I do.

ADAM: Okay. All right. Just don't want to see you get hurt, that's all. [Start to walk awak.] Didn't mean to offend you. Just tryin' to look out for you, okay?

SARAH: [Sighs]

[NEW SCENE - Short time later Sarah takes the tool box to the shed where Zeek is working and places it on the bench.]

SARAH: I'm gonna go visit Seth.

[Sarah walks away, Zeek doesn't say anything but is clearly worried.]

[NEW SCENE - Jasmine's apartment.]

JASMINE: Hey, if we rush, we can probably make the previews. What are you doing?

DR. JOE: Yesterday I noticed that one of the tires was loose, but, uh, I think I fixed it. Yeah. Yeah, I got it.

[Jasmine smile.]

[NEW SCENE - Front of Adam and Kristina's house, the family exits for the fun day together.]

KRISTINA: All right, here we go. We're excited.

ADAM: All right.

HADDIE: You're welcome.

KRISTINA: Come on, babe.

ADAM: Let's go, let's go.

KRISTINA: Mini golf is back on track. Load it up, guys.

HADDIE: [Singing] Meet me in the pouring...

ADAM: All right.

KRISTINA: Here we go.

HADDIE: [To Adam] It's not even dark outside yet.

KRISTINA: Are you excited, buddy?

ADAM: [To Haddie] Not yet.

ADAM: Max? Are you excited?

HADDIE: [To Adam] Well, I thought it was family fun night.

KRISTINA: Load it up. All right.

HADDIE: We're havin' fun now.

KRISTINA: Come on, come on, come on. Lock and load.

ADAM: First big family outing, you're gonna love this.

MAX: Wait, no, Nora's in my seat.

HADDIE: Uh, no, your seat's in the back now.

KRISTINA: You guys…

MAX: No, no, it's not.

ADAM: Max, this is your seat now, okay?

MAX: The person in the back has the highest chance of dying in a car crash.

ADAM: No, no, no, that's not--

HADDIE: Okay, well-- You have to do it.

MAX: Stop! Come on.

HADDIE: Oh, my God. I'll sit in the back. [Gets in the back.] Hi, baby!


HADDIE: [To Nora.] You get the good seat.

KRISTINA: Who's excited?

ADAM: I'm excited.

KRISTINA: Are you?

ADAM: You know why?


ADAM: 'Cause I love mini golf.

MAX: Okay, uh, so Haddie, I'm getting a new video game for going mini golfing. What should I get?

HADDIE: Oh. Wow.

ADAM: Max, it's not about getting a video game, it's about getting to spend time with your family.

MAX: I want to go bowling.

KRISTINA: That's right. Honey, this is way more fun than bowling.

HADDIE: Let him go bowling.

ADAM: Yeah, it's mini golf!

KRISTINA: It's not even mini golf--Mini golf.

ADAM: We can't go bowling, okay?

MAX: Why?

ADAM: Because we made a decision. It's unfair to your sisters, Max, okay?

KRISTINA: And we haven't done this in so long, you know?

HADDIE: I'm just saying that we don't care, it's not for me…

ADAM: Haddie, you're not helping okay? We made a decision to go play mini golf--

HADDIE: Why don't we just go bowling?

MAX: We're not even going to mini-golf.

ADAM: Oh, man, I knew this was a bad idea. Haddie, that doesn't help, Haddie.

KRISTINA: This was a great idea. I don't know why everybody's like…

ADAM: [Shouting.] I'm tryin' to be positive here, okay?

KRISTINA: [Shouting.] No, stop the car!

ADAM: What, this is…

KRISTINA: Stop the car!

ADAM: What's wrong? What's wrong?

KRISTINA: Stop the car!

[The mini van comes to a screeching halt in the missing of the street.]

ADAM: Honey, what's wrong?

KRISTINA: If nobody wants to go, then we're not gonna go. This is stupid. I mean, nobody wants to do this.

ADAM: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Overlapping chatter as the family argues.]

KRISTINA: All you've been doing is whining and complaining. "I don't want to go, I want to do this…"

ADAM: Just take a breath and regroup, okay?

KRISTINA: You regroup. You know what--screw this. [Gets out of the car.]

ADAM: Hey, honey.

KRISTINA: You regroup. Regroup yourself. Guess what I'm doin'? I'm goin' mini golfing. [Goes around to the drivers side.] Get out of the car. Get out! Get out! Get out!

ADAM: Take a deep breath...

KRISTINA: [Getting into the drivers seat.] Get out of the car!

HADDIE: All right, see you later.

KRISTINA: Bye. Love you. Bye.

HADDIE: This is crazy.

[The tires screech as Kristina drives off, leaving Adam, Max and Haddie standing in the street.]

MAX: Do you think she remembers that Nora's still in the backseat?

[Max turns and the all start walking back home.]

[NEW SCENE - Rehab centre. Sarah and Seth are at a table outside. She shows him an old photo of them as a family with a very young Amber and Drew.]


SARAH: [Snickers]

SETH: Well…

SARAH: [Laughs] There's an oldie but a goodie.

SETH: That's a goodie.

SARAH: [Chuckles] It was so crazy. You remember that little cottage on Bay Street?

SETH: [Laughs]

SARAH: We weren't there very long, but it was so cute.

SETH: Oh, man.

SARAH: Why did we take a picture that day, though?

SETH: That's right after Amber lost her first tooth.

SARAH: Was it?

SETH: Yeah, yeah, at, uh, Alice's Restaurant on, what, Old LA Honda.

SARAH: Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

SETH: Remember, she bit into a French fry?

SARAH: [Laughing] She had that bizarre fear of the tooth fairy.

SETH: What'd she say?

SARAH: "Don't let the crazy fairy…

BOTH: Steal my teeth."

SARAH: [Laughs]

SETH: [Chuckles] Wow. She slept with us for a couple weeks after…

SARAH: Couple months after that.

SETH: Yeah.

SARAH: So afraid.

SETH: Wow, that's…

SARAH: Oh, no, you keep it.

SETH: Really?

SARAH: Put it on your nightstand.

SETH: [Sighs]

SARAH: I should go. You probably have to do arts and crafts, or something. [Laughs]

SETH: You want to stay? I mean, if you don't have any plans, they lifted my restriction on visitations. We only get four channels in there, but they're playin' Vertigo tonight.

SARAH: [Gasps] Vertigo. How many times have we seen Vertigo?

SETH: Yeah, I think I have every line memorized.

SARAH: Mm-hmm. Me, too.

SETH: What do you say? You want to make a night of it?

SARAH: I can't.

SETH: We'll do it some other time.

SARAH: Yes. [She leans in for a hug.] Come here.

[NEW SCENE - Mark's apartment, he is cooking while Sarah is standing at the counter cutting vegetables.]

MARK: I had two students, copy the exact same paper off the Internet.

SARAH: [Laughing] No way.

MARK: And at least one of them had the sense to switch a couple of the words around, but, uh, the other one didn't even bother.

SARAH: Oh, my God. See, this is why I'm afraid of the Internet.

MARK: I'm a little bit afraid of the Internet, too.

SARAH: I want to go back to just, like, the encyclopedia.

MARK: Yeah, the cheating the old-fashioned way.

SARAH: [Laughs] Yeah, cheating off of an actual book.

MARK: You have to actually write it down. Steal your mom's paper, or something.

SARAH: Your mom's...

[The both laugh.]

MARK: Um, I, uh, I just have to say something. It's not a horrible thing. Don't have to get nervous. I just have to say it, or, I'm-- I'm gonna go crazy. I--I'm… I'm glad that your ex is going to rehab. I think that's a huge thing. It's a colossal thing, it's, uh, great. Um, but I just have to ask, is this--is it something that I need to worry about? I mean, is Seth something that I need to worry about?




MARK: Yes.

SARAH: No. Yes, no. Yes…

MARK: Yes, to the answer is…


MAX: Okay. Cool.

[Sarah reaches out for his hand as they both smile.]

[NEW SCENE - Adam, Max and Haddie sit on their couch. Adam reading while the kids play a game.]

MAX: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

[The front door opens.]

MAX: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

[A pause as Kristina enters. No one knows what to say.]

MAX: How was mini golf?

[Kristina doesn't say anything, instead she goes upstairs with Nora in her baby capsule.]

ADAM: [Sighs] Oh, God.

[Adam starts to get up.]

HADDIE: It's okay, it's okay. I can do it.

ADAM: All right, all right.

MAX: Paper, scissors, shoot.

ADAM: [Sighs]

MAX: Rock, paper, scissors…

ADAM: Start over again.

[NEW SCENE - Upstairs in the master bedroom.]

KRISTINA: [Whispering to Nora.] My little nugget. Go night-night, okay? Go night-night. I know, baby, I know. I know.

HADDIE: Mom? You have a second? I just…

KRISTINA: [Sniffles]

HADDIE: I want to say sorry. Talked to Dad and Max.


HADDIE: We're sorry.

KRISTINA: [Laughs] You're sorry. Honey, I left you in the middle of the street. Not my finest moment as a mom.

HADDIE: Mm-hmm.

KRISTINA: It felt good at the time, but, um… [Laughs]

HADDIE: Well, yeah, you know, we were being rude and disrespectful, too, so.

KRISTINA: It's okay.


KRISTINA: Have a seat.

HADDIE: What's going on?

KRISTINA: I was just--I don't know. I've just been so excited about tonight. You know, I've been trying to plan this thing this whole week, and I just--I guess I forced it. You know? I just really wanted this to be a special night. Kinda sad to think that, you know, you're gonna be leaving the house, and it's gonna be a whole other dynamic.

HADDIE: Okay. You're upset because I'm going to college?

KRISTINA: No, honey, I'm so excited and happy for you. I'm thrilled, and I'm so proud. I'm just--it makes me a little sad that you won't be able to see Nora grow up the same way that you saw Max grow up, and I'm just…

HADDIE: Mom, I'm gonna be here for summer, and for breaks.

KRISTINA: I know, or maybe you'll go to Paris, or you'll go to Italy, or intern in D.C., I don't know. I just--I'm being a little selfish, is all.

HADDIE: No--I'm…

KRISTINA: 'Cause I'm already missing you. [Taps Haddie's leg.] A lot.



HADDIE: We still have a year.

KRISTINA: I know, we have a year.

HADDIE: I love you.

KRISTINA: [Laughs then sniffles.]

[Nora coos, Haddie gets up and goes to her.]

HADDIE: Mm-mm. [Laughs] Come here. [She picks up Nora.]

KRISTINA: [Laughs]

[Haddie and Nora spend a moment bonding as Nora babbles]

MAX: [Coming to the door.] I'm sorry that I didn't want to go mini golfing. And I'm also sorry that I didn't want to sit in the backseat. And dad says he's sorry that you're losing it.

KRISTINA: [Scoffs] I'm sorry I'm psycho, honey.

HADDIE: It's cool. We're used to it.


[NEW SCENE - Julia, Joel and Sydney are having diner.]

SYDNEY: Why are there four plates at the table?

JOEL: Your mom invited a friend.

JULIA: Yes. I don't think she's coming, actually, but let's eat. This looks delicious, doesn't it?


[The doorbell rings.]

[James Blake's "A Case of You" starts playing in the background and continues over the last few scenes until the closing credits.]

JULIA: Maybe. [Clears throat as she goes to answer the door.] Hey, you made it.

ZOE: Yeah, I did.

JULIA: Great, come in.

ZOE: Oh, thanks. I almost didn't. Your kale was weird.

JULIA: Oh, good.

ZOE: It's kale, right?

JULIA: Yeah, it was kale.

ZOE: But, um, your chicken was good, so I was like, "Oh, whatever, I'll do dinner."

JULIA: I'm glad you're here.

ZOE: Um, I'm happy to be here.


CROSBY: Hey. Uh, where's Jabbar?

JASMINE: Play date with Jensen. I was hoping that we could talk.

CROSBY: Yeah. Sit, uh, sit down.

JASMINE: I want you to know that I heard everything you said, and you're right. We do owe it to each other to have a conversation before we bring Jabbar around anyone we're dating.

CROSBY: Well, good, I'm glad we're on the same page. I'm sorry I was so... You know.

JASMINE: It's okay. I think I'm ready to have that conversation. I think it's getting more real with me and Joe, and I'd like Jabbar to get to know him.

[NEW SCENE - Night. Braverman guesthouse, Sarah is brushing her teeth getting ready for bed. She changes the channel and Vertigo is on.]

[NEW SCENE - Seth in the rehab centre watching the same movie with several other people.]

[We cut between Sarah and Seth watching the same movie.]

Episode End
3.07 - Forced Family Fun
Original Airdate (NBC) November 1, 2011
Written by Sarah Watson
Directed by Patrick Norris

Transcribed by Craig Best
Original subtitles from www.addic7ed.com

Please Don't Use Without Permission!

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