2.02 - No Good Deed
Transcript by Craig Best

This is a Beta copy
please contact me for any corrections or additions

2.02 - No Good Deed
Transcript by Craig Best
[Opening scene - Morning, Adam and Kristina getting ready for the day in their bedroom.]

ADAM: This is gonna be fine, right?


ADAM: What, you don't think? You don't think it's gonna be fine?

KRISTINA: Honey, I just said everything's gonna be fine.

ADAM: Well, you didn't sound very convincing.

KRISTINA: Oh, my God, giving Sarah a job is a great idea. It's gonna work out.

ADAM: Yeah, I mean, she's smart. She's talented, she knows it's my territory. She's gonna respect that, right?

KRISTINA: 100%. You're all fidgety.

ADAM: I'm not fidgety.

KRISTINA: You are fidgety. You're, like, fidgety.

ADAM: I'm not fidgety.

KRISTINA: Go get in your car, grab a latte. Get your muffin. Have your morning routine. You'll be fine.

ADAM: Honey, why is Suze Lessing walking up to our front door at 7:30 in the morning?


ADAM: Suze Lessing.


ADAM: She has that look.

KRISTINA: What look?

ADAM: That look like she wants something from us. Listen, you're gonna have to deal with this. I gotta get to work.

[New Scene - Braverman house, Sarah enters the kitchen quickly.]

SARAH: Hello. Good morning. I can't walk in my shoes. [To Drew.] Will you hold that for one second?

DREW: [Taking the bag.] Sure.

AMBER: Oh wow.

SARAH: What do you think? I feel like I just need something to cover up, you know like a blazer?

AMBER: A blazer, but it's good on its own.

ZEEK: You look great.

CAMILLE: Fabulous.

DREW: So, what, you're working at Uncle Adam's, but you're still working at the bar?

SARAH: Yeah, but it's just temporary. And grandma and grandpa will look after you.

CAMILLE: Yeah we got it, covered.

SARAH: Not that you need babysitting, but, you know, just make sure they do something.

CAMILLE: We know. It's cool. Take it easy.

SARAH: Hey, if you need help with your math, just call Aunt Julia, 'cause, disturbingly, she remembers everything from High School.

CAMILLE: I remember math. I can help her with…

SARAH: It's changed, mom. It's different now. It's not the same math. You know what?

ZEEK: We got your back, sweetheart. We got your back.

SARAH: Can't even drink this 'cause I'm just too...

CAMILLE: Take it easy.

SARAH: Nervous. Okay! I'm gonna do it. Here I go.


SARAH: Make it happen. Bye! [She prances out of the room in the high heels.]

ZEEK: Bye. Good luck.

CAMILLE: Good luck!

[Drew holds out Sarah's bag.]

SARAH: Yeah, thank you. Just need the keys and my wallet, that's all. Okay, love you! Bye!

[New Scene - Sydney's school. The bell is ringing.]

JULIA: All right, bug, you have a good day, all right? See you tonight.

[They hug and kiss goodbye.]

SYDNEY: Love you.

JULIA: Love you!


[Sydney leaves as a small girl around Sydney's age tugs on Julia's jacket.]

AMY: Excuse me.

JULIA: Well, hello.

AMY: You're Sydney's mom.

JULIA: Yes, I am. And who are you?

AMY: I'm Amy, and I want to have a play date with Sydney.

JULIA: You do? Well, great.

AMY: How's tomorrow, after school?

JULIA: Um, tomorrow... I don't see why not.

AMY: So we're on?

JULIA: We're on.

AMY: Great.

[New Scene - Airport, Crosby is dressing in a jacket and limo drivers hat, but still has shorts on. Jasmine and Jabbar come down an escalator.]

JABBAR: There he is, there he is, there he is!

CROSBY: Buddy, come here! [Picking him up.] Oh, I'm so happy to see you! Mmm! I missed you. Mmm.

JASMINE: Nice outfit.

CROSBY: Thank you. '80s, isn't it? [They kiss.] Mmm.


CROSBY: I missed you.

JASMINE: I missed you too.

CROSBY: I can't wait to talk to you In private.

JASMINE: I need to talk to you too. In private.



CROSBY: Buddy, how come you smell so good?

JABBAR: I took a bath.

CROSBY: You took a bath? You must have woke up so early to take a bath.

[New Scene - T&S Shoes design department.]

ADAM: All right, just remember, this is an internship. So expectations low.

SARAH: What do you mean? Whose expectations? My expectations? Your expectations.

ADAM: Everybody's expectations.

SARAH: It's a terrible pep talk.

ADAM: You're gonna do great.

SARAH: I'm not gonna do great. It's a bad mistake. It's a dumb idea.

ADAM: Sarah, listen to me. You're gonna do great.

SARAH: I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing great at.

ADAM: Look, all you gotta do is go with the flow. Just listen and learn.

SARAH: That's it. Listen and learn.

ADAM: Yeah.

SARAH: Okay, I can do that.

ADAM: [Opening the door.] Okay. After you.

SARAH: Okay. Oh, hey.

ADAM: Yep. Hey, everybody. Good morning. I'd like to introduce you to Sarah Braverman. This is my sister, obviously. She's the intern that I told you about. This is Eddie, he's the head of our design team. He's gonna introduce everybody and get you started.

SARAH: Okay.

ADAM: All right? Have a good day.

SARAH: Thanks. Ahem. [Nervous.] Hi. Heh. Anyone ever heard of nepotism? 'Cause I sure have. I'm just kidding, that's… well, I'm not kidding. But anyway...

[Opening credits - featuring “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan]

[New Scene - Kristina at her home comforting Suze who is crying and upset.]

KRISTINA: It's okay. Here. It's really hot, okay?

SUZE: Okay. Thanks.


SUZE: I don't, I don't know how it happened. I was just a day like any other day, and then, the next thing I know, we're getting divorced.

KRISTINA: I'm sorry.

SUZE: He says I'm obsessed... With Noel. I mean, of course I'm obsessed. Who isn't obsessed? I mean, does he think that I want to spend every waking hour focusing on getting Noel through the day?

KRISTINA: Anything Adam and I can do?

SUZE: Oh, God!

KRISTINA: I'm sorry.

SUZE: And Noel doesn't know yet! I can't figure out how to tell him and neither can Phil and... He's such a good dad. I mean, he's, he loves Noel so much. And I'm so mad at him!

KRISTINA: Yeah. What can I do to help you?

SUZE: Oh, God.

KRISTINA: I want to help you. I want to.

SUZE: I have a meeting with Noel's teacher after school, and then I have a board meeting after that.

KRISTINA: Why don't I pick him up?

SUZE: No. No.

KRISTINA: I'll pick Noel up, of course.


KRISTINA: Suze... Let me.

SUZE: I could drop him off, maybe? Is that okay?

KRISTINA: Absolutely.

SUZE: Oh, thank you so much.

KRISTINA: It's okay. I'm so sorry. Want your tea?

SUZE: Yes.

KRISTINA: It's hot.

SUZE: It's too hot. Nothing works.

KRISTINA: Oh, God, I'm sorry. I can cool it down.

[New Scene - Sarah enters Adam's office without knocking.]

SARAH: I haven't even been here that long. I'm doing so well. It's like those lame brains didn't even know anything about shoes.

ADAM: Hey, Sarah. Sarah.

SARAH: 'Cause I'm telling them, what?

ADAM: I want you to meet Gordon Flint. He's the founder and president of T&S. This is my sister Sarah.

SARAH: Oh, my God.

GORDON: You, uh, were saying?

SARAH: I, I have a terrible self-esteem, and it causes me to overcompensate. The design team is awesome, truly.

GORDON: I, I know. I...Hired them.

SARAH: Yes, I'm sure you did. There's so, good, well done. Okay, I don't know why I came in here, but, um, I am gonna, oh! [To Adam.] I wanted to say thank you so much for this opportunity to work here. [To Gordon.] And thank you so much for signing off on me.

GORDON: I, I didn't sign off on you yet.

[There is an awkward pause before Sarah, then Gordon start laughing.]

GORDON: Just, I'm just kidding.

SARAH: That was like a mini heart attack. Okay. Oh, um...Well... I'm gonna, I better get back to work so.

ADAM: Bye.

SARAH: Okay, all right.

GORDON: Hey...


GORDON: Nice meeting you.

SARAH: Oh...Nice to meet you too.

[Gordon checks out Sarah as she leaves the room, much to Adam's annoyance.]

ADAM: Hey.

[New Scene - Joel is in his back yard building the desk for Sarah.]

JULIA: [To Joel.] Hey, you. [To Sydney.] Hey, you! Huh? Come here. [She kisses her daughter.] Mwah! [Seeing the desk.] Look at that.

JOEL: Hey.

JULIA: It's comin' right along.

JOEL: Thank you.

JULIA: Yes, indeed.

JOEL: Hey.

JULIA: Hi. Ooh. Gettin' a little warm there.

JOEL: I know. There are kids present.

JULIA: Yes, indeed.

JOEL: Hey, did you make a play date for Sydney with Amy Gardener?

JULIA: No, Amy G. scheduled a play date with me.

JOEL: Yeah? Okay. We're gonna have to cancel that.

JULIA: Really?

JOEL: Yeah.


JOEL: Well, Amy G. was mean to Isabel, who's Ashley's sister, and, uh, if Amy G. has a play date with Sydney, then it's just gonna be a whole thing where they actually... Fight. And Ashley and Sydney, whew, they are best friends.

JULIA: Uh, I thought Harmony and Sydney were best friends.

JOEL: Oh, a lot has changed over the summer.

JULIA: Um, I can't believe that girl Amy would be mean to anyone.

SYDNEY: Believe it.

JULIA: Well, Syd, you know what? She seemed like a really nice girl. Maybe she messed up. You wanna give her a second shot, see how it goes? You might end up being friends.

SYDNEY: Listen, mom, Ashley's going to hate me. And then I won't have any friends. Please, mommy, don't make me.

JOEL: I told you.

[New Scene - Adam arrives home to find Noel helping himself to the fridge.]

ADAM: Hi. Make yourself at home.

NOEL: You're out of mustard. You need more.

ADAM: Thanks for letting me know.

KRISTINA: Hey, Buddy.

NOEL: You're out of mustard.

KRISTINA: Did you get enough to eat? Do you want a bag?



ADAM: Honey, why is Noel Lessing in our house?

KRISTINA: Suze and Phil are getting separated.

ADAM: What? Really?

KRISTINA: Yeah. He doesn't know yet, so I offered to help.

ADAM: What are they planning on doing with him?

KRISTINA: I don't know, honey. I have no idea. She's a mess. A complete mess. It's really sad. Oh, how was your day with your new employee?

ADAM: Uh, it was actually good. Uh...She met Gordon. Gordon seemed to like her, so…

KRISTINA: Oh, wow. She already met Gordon.

ADAM: Ah, she just walked into my office.

KRISTINA: She just walked in? That's kind of weird.

ADAM: I don't think she meant to.

KRISTINA: No, she should knock, though.

ADAM: What time is Suze coming to get Noel?

KRISTINA: I don't know, I left a message on her cell phone. I have no idea. I'm not gonna…

ADAM: She just dropped him off and didn't say what time she was gonna come back to get him?

KRISTINA: She just got separated. I'm not gonna hound her.

ADAM: Okay. Well, where are the kids? 'Cause we gotta get over to my mom and dad's for the Jasmine/Jabbar thing.

KRISTINA: They are upstairs. Hiding.

[New Scene - Car Noel with Adam's family on the way to the Braverman house. Noel and Mac are making noises in the back seat.]

MAX: No, you don't get to eat potato chips in the car. Why does he get to eat in the car, and I don't? Why does he get to…

KRISTINA: Because Noel's parents let him eat chips in the car, and I want him to feel at home.

MAX: No, that's not fair! Why?

KRISTINA: Honey, it's okay.

NOEL: They're my chips.

MAX: Well, it doesn't matter if they're your chips. It's a rule.

ADAM: Guys...

KRISTINA: Honey...

MAX: Stop it!

NOEL: They're my chips. That guy's singing.

ADAM: Yeah? That's Ray LaMontagne. He's great.

NOEL: He can't sing.

ADAM: Uh, I'll turn him down.

NOEL: Off would be better.

MAX: Stop eating.

ADAM: Turning it off.

NOEL: Off!

ADAM: Turning it off!

NOEL: Off!

ADAM: Turning it off!

KRISTINA: Adam, off.

ADAM: It's off.

MAX: Stop.


MAX: Stop eating them. Stop.


MAX: What? Tell him to stop!

NOEL: [To Haddie.] You're pretty.

HADDIE: Thank you.

MAX: Tell him to stop, mom!

ADAM: Have a chip, Max.

[New Scene - Braverman house, the family has gathered to welcome Jasmine and Jabbar home. Crosby is playing poker with the kids.]

CROSBY: Okay, you guys ready? Cover your cards. The first three are called the flop. Okay? Now we're gonna share these three cards.

SARAH: [Handing Joel a bottle.] Hey, you guys, it's the last one from the basement, okay? So slow down.

JULIA: All right.

SARAH: Hey, boss.

ADAM: Please don't call me that. Seriously.

SARAH: Okay. Chief...

ADAM: Oh, God.

SARAH: Can you pick me up tomorrow? Because the car's giving me trouble again.

ADAM: Yeah, I know, no problem.


ADAM: Be glad to.

SARAH: Yeah?

ADAM: Yeah. Save a tree, right?

SARAH: Okay.

AMBER: Mom, mom, mom.

SARAH: What?

AMBER: Can you check this out?

SARAH: That's pretty. Where'd we get those?

AMBER: I made it.


SARAH: No, you didn't.

CAMILLE: Yes, she did.

SARAH: You didn't make that.

AMBER: Yeah.

SARAH: No you didn't.

CAMILLE: She's a pretty good cook.

AMBER: I have abilities.

SARAH: I am surprised. We don't cook. We're not cooking people.

AMBER: Because you don't know what you're doing.

CAMILLE: Sometimes talent skips a generation.

SARAH: Wow, nanny taught you well.

[Drew and Zeek come by.]

DREW: Hey, mom.

SARAH: Hi. Wait, whoa! Hey! What is that?

DREW: Uh, grandpa and I are building a bird hatchery.

SARAH: A what, now?

ZEEK: Bird hatchery.

SARAH: Hey, did you guys do your homework and everything?

ZEEK: Sarah, your mother and I are all over the homework thing. My gosh, we raised four kids, by golly. Three of them turned out pretty good.

SARAH: [Giving her dad a gentle bunch in the arm.] Mm!

ZEEK: See ya.

SARAH: Bird hatchery?

[Back at the poker table.]

JASMINE: Are you ready? Who's gonna be the big winner?

JASMINE: 'Scuse me, fellas. [To Crosby.] Can I talk to you for a second?

MAX: Wait, Crosby, we're not done with the hand yet.

CROSBY: Yeah, um, okay, you can finish without me, all right? [To Max.] You be the dealer? No, no, you don't look at everyone's... [To Jabbar.] You're in charge.


[Shortly after upstairs.]

CROSBY: It's a secret spot.

JASMINE: Where are we going?

CROSBY: Come over here.

[The start making.]



JASMINE: Mmm, you're really into it.

CROSBY: Oh, yeah. I used to bring girls back here when I was 14.


CROSBY: Listen.


CROSBY: This long-distance relationship thing is for the birds. And I think I'm... Ready to move to New York to be with you guys. You know, no pressure. I'll get my own place. But I'll be close, and I can help with Jabbar. And I think it'll be... What's that look?

JASMINE: Well...I've got something to tell you.


JASMINE: I've been, uh, chosen to join the tour company. The touring company for… the euro…

CROSBY: The European tour?

JASMINE: Yeah…Yeah.

CROSBY: Um...When?


CROSBY: You're kidding.

JULIA: That's why…

CROSBY: For real? Now?

JASMINE: That's why I came back, because I'm gonna have to…

CROSBY: You just moved to New York.

JASMINE: I know. I know.

CROSBY: And now you're going to Europe? And then what? China? Dance along the Great Wall, the moon?

JASMINE: Crosby…

CROSBY: What about Jabbar?

JASMINE: I'm thinking that... He should stay out here. And he can live with my mom.

CROSBY: You think he should live with your mom?


CROSBY: Why would he stay with your ma? He should stay with me.

JASMINE: Really?

CROSBY: Yeah, he, I'm, I'm his dad. He should stay with me.

JASMINE: It's a lot to take on, Crosby. This is not a night or two. It's four weeks.

CROSBY: Listen, don't do that. It's already hard enough that you're going away. Okay, it... It'll be fine. I can do it. Okay? He'll come stay with me. We're gonna have an amazing time. We'll Skype you every night. And then you can dance your way through Europe. And it'll go quick. Okay?

JASMINE: Are you sure?

CROSBY: Yeah, I promise. But just, he's, he'll stay with me, though. Okay?

[New Scene - Next morning, Adam is picking up Sarah for work.]

ADAM: [Yelling from the car.] Sarah! Sarah!

SARAH: I know! I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.

ADAM: Then come on.


ADAM: Hey.

SARAH: Here you go. [Passes Adam two large coffee mugs.]

ADAM: Uh, you know, I actually pick up at Berkeley Coffee. So I don't need.

SARAH: Oh, well... Today I saved you, like, $12. That's my special blend coffee. [Holding up some wedge shoes] You're gonna love these, I'm gonna put on later. Gorgeous to look at. Comfortable to wear.

ADAM: What, are you planning on spending the night at the office? What is all this?

SARAH: Look, the kids made me lunch. I think they actually miss me... From being gone 24 hours a day, that's what I think.

ADAM: That's really sweet. Can you hold these so I can back out of here?

SARAH: Okay. One second. What is this we're listening to?

ADAM: This is Ray LaMontagne.

SARAH: Oh, it's nice.

ADAM: It's great, isn't it?

SARAH: But can we listen to it later because I want.

ADAM: Well, actually…

SARAH: I don't think I, because…

ADAM: Can you just take these?

SARAH: Just put it here. [Cup holder, which is way too small.]

ADAM: See, this is not gonna work. It doesn't, you know what? Fine. Let's just go.

SARAH: So here's what I've been thinking.

ADAM: Yup.

SARAH: I feel like the design team is not thinking big enough.

ADAM: What are you talking about?

SARAH: Just not thinking modern enough and hip enough, and I, I just want to keep brainstorming.

ADAM: Sarah, it's gonna be fine.

SARAH: No, no, no, no. But listen, so what if it had a personalized aspect.

ADAM: [Tasting the coffee.] Oh, my God!

SARAH: It's strong, right? [Adam put the coffee back in the cup holder.] Like on those greeting cards, where you can make your own recording. I'm just saying let's think bigger…

ADAM: I have to stop at Berkeley Coffee, okay?


[New Scene - Sydney's school.]

SYDNEY: Mom...

JULIA: I got you.

AMY: Hi, Cindy's mom.

JULIA: Hi, Amy!

AMY: I'm looking forward to this afternoon.

JULIA: Yes, indeed.

CYNTHIA: Bye, honey. [Kiss goodbye between AMY and her mom.] Mwah! See you.

AMY: Okay.



JULIA: So I'm…

CYNTHIA: Sydney's mom.

JULIA: Yes. Julia.

CYNTHIA: Cynthia.

JULIA: So nice to meet you.

CYNTHIA: Amy is really looking forward to this afternoon.

JULIA: Um so I'm gonna have to cancel the play date for this afternoon.

CYNTHIA: Oh, why?

JULIA: Well, the situation with Isabel, I guess.

CYNTHIA: What situation? I don't know about any situation.

JULIA: Oh, heh. Okay, so... Apparently, there was some bad blood between Amy and Isabel, and Isabel is Ashley's sister, so...

CYNTHIA: Bad blood? What are you talking about? Everybody loves Amy.

JULIA: Oh, yeah. Yeah...Of course. I mean, I know I do.

CYNTHIA: No, listen...I get it.

JULIA: I'm so glad you understand.

CYNTHIA: I understand exactly.

JULIA: Great. Well, I'm, I'm glad we got the chance to... [Cynthia walks away.]

[New Scene - T&S lunch room. Background chatter as Gordon enters.]

GORDON: Hello, Adam's sister.

SARAH: Hi. Sarah.

GORDON: Sarah. Right. Is that, uh, chocolate pudding?

SARAH: Yes, it is.

GORDON: I will give you my entire, personally prepared by my nutritionist, gluten-free, vegan lunch for just one bite of that chocolate pudding.

SARAH: No, thanks.

GORDON: I'll give you a raise.

SARAH: Really?

GORDON: No, but... Come on, please. Have a heart.

SARAH: Mmm, oh, it's so delicious.

GORDON: You're not gonna go there.

SARAH: You know what I like about chocolate pudding? [Puts the spoon full in her mouth.] Everything.

GORDON: You know what I love about tofu shaped like a burger and heavier than a brick?

SARAH: Nothing.

GORDON: Nothing, precisely.

SARAH: Oh, no.

GORDON: Excellent for the colon.

SARAH: You know what? You need this more than I do.


SARAH: Yeah.

GORDON: Really?

SARAH: Take it.

GORDON: This is not some kind of... Trick, is it?

SARAH: I don't have another spoon.

GORDON: That's okay. I'll just use yours.

SARAH: Really?

GORDON: Think that's gonna stop me?


GORDON: You, my lady, are a kind and decent woman. Mmm. Wow. You can't tell my nutritionist. Here, have a little taste.

SARAH: No, seriously, I don't want, I can't double dip.

GORDON: I just did.

ADAM: Hey, yo.

SARAH: Hey. Hey!


ADAM: Yeah?

GORDON: What's doing?

ADAM: Just grabbing my lunch.

SARAH: Cool, come.

GORDON: Join us.

SARAH: Yeah, we got pudding.

ADAM: Pudding? Really?

SARAH: Yeah.

ADAM: You have enough pudding to go around?

ADAM'S ASSISTANT: Excuse me, Adam.

ADAM: Yeah?

ADAM'S ASSISTANT: Phil Lessing's here to see you.

ADAM: Phil is here?

ADAM'S ASSISTANT: Yeah. Do you want me to tell him…

ADAM: No, I'll...

GORDON: Who's Phil?

ADAM: Ah, he's a friend.

SARAH: Phil has an autistic kid too, and so the kids play together. Phil's marriage is kind of falling apart. So Adam and Kristina have been watching Phil's kid... [Sarah notices Adam looking at her.] He's a friend.

ADAM: I'll take a rain check on that pudding.

GORDON: More for me.

[New Scene - Crosby's Houseboat. Jasmine's mother, Renee pays a visit.]

RENEE: Oh. Oh, you might want to do something about that lighter fluid there.

CROSBY: That's a great idea. Should stow that somewhere.

RENEE: So, uh... Where's Jabbar's room?

CROSBY: Oh, it's just the one room. It's pretty cozy.

JASMINE: Yeah, tour is only for four weeks, mom.

RENEE: Well, I'm just curious, where's the boy going to sleep?

CROSBY: Well, in the past, he's slept there.

RENEE: Here? On this rickety chair?

CROSBY: Well, it's a couch. And it's more comfortable than it looks. But I have been thinking about getting a sleeping bag, maybe, for me, and then putting Jabbar on the full-size bed.

JASMINE: Trust me, mom. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be just fine.

RENEE: Whatever you say, honey. Just know that he's got a bed at my place if it doesn't work out. Well, let's have some waffles, huh?


[New Scene -

PHIL: So how would you go about telling Max that you and Kristina were separated?

ADAM: Well, Phil, I don't think that Cristina and I would every get…

PHIL: Neither did I, my friend. Neither did I. And then, bam! It just happens. Suze goes to sleep talking about Noel and wakes up feeding him. Spends all day driving around to the therapies. And by the time she gets home at night, it's just... I love him. I love him to death. It's just that there is no "us" left. Can I confide in you, Adam?

ADAM: Well, Phil, I think it might be best…

PHIL: Do you remember our pink cards from our index card system?

ADAM: Vaguely.

PHIL: Our sex cards.

ADAM: Mm-hmm.

PHIL: We used to call the pink ones our "Fornicards."

ADAM: Yeah.

PHIL: That was before they started piling up. Unused.

[The awkward silence is broken as Adam hears Sarah talking to Gordon from the lunchroom, which he can see through his window.]

SARAH: Oh, really? Oh. [Laughs]

ADAM: Hey, Phil, I'm gonna get you some peppermint tea, okay? That'll make you feel better. Okay?

PHIL: Adam...

ADAM: And I, yeah?

PHIL: You're the best. [He hugs Adam.]

ADAM: Hey. Hey there. You're gonna be okay. Okay? Let me just, uh... Let me, let me just… I'm gonna get your tea. Okay? I'll be right back.

PHIL: I'd prefer coffee.

ADAM: Coffee?

PHIL: With a little cream.

ADAM: Sugar?

PHIL: A little sugar.

ADAM: Okay.

PHIL: Hey...

ADAM: Yeah?

PHIL: Do you guys have an espresso machine?

ADAM: Yes, we do. Espresso?

PHIL: Cappuccino.

ADAM: Cappuccino.

PHIL: Soy milk.

GORDON: Wow, I never knew about the tantrums.

[NEW SCENE - In the lunch room.]

SARAH: I know. Well most of the time, Max is a really sweet kid. It's just once in a while…

ADAM: Sounds pretty intense.

SARAH: Yeah, it gets a little blown up.

ADAM: Hey, yo.


GORDON: How's your Buddy Phil?

ADAM: Uh, he's fine.

GORDON: Divorce is tough.

ADAM: Yeah.

SARAH: Yeah.

ADAM: Just, uh, making him a little cappuccino.

SARAH: Nice.

GORDON: Hey, you missed out, Buddy. Pudding and potato chips for lunch. [To Sarah.] And you better not tell my nutritionist. You promised.

SARAH: That lady sounds too scary. All right, I gotta get back to work. My boss is gonna be mad at me.

GORDON: That's right.

ADAM: Yeah, look out.

SARAH: Both of 'em.

ADAM: Look out!

GORDON: Hey...Thanks... For sharing.

SARAH: Of course, yeah. It was fun. See ya. Okay, see you guys.

GORDON: Your sister...Is awesome. [After a pause and drawn out] Awesome.

[Adam doesn't look happy.]

[New Scene - Crosby's sound studio.]


MATT: Yeah?

CROSBY: Do you want to try one where the drums come in just a hair later?

MATT: Yeah, let's do it.

CROSBY: All right, cool.

MATT: 1, 2, 3, 4. [Singing.] I was with you when the war began a war with you my memory ran…

CROSBY: I think I'm a genius.

MATT: When I kept you tucked away…

[The song “You Come Up Like a Rose” by The Northstar Session continues as Crosby and Jasmine talk.]


CROSBY: Oh, my God. Oh, hey! [Kiss.] Miss me?


CROSBY: Couldn't stay away for a whole day.

JASMINE: I couldn't. Good band.

CROSBY: Right? They're really good. What's going on?

JASMINE: Well... Just my mother. Buggin' me.

CROSBY: Uh-huh.


CROSBY: Imagine that.

JASMINE: She thinks that, uh, Jabbar will be better off staying with her.

CROSBY: Oh, I'm so shocked to hear that.

JASMINE: She's so obsessed about that boat.

CROSBY: Really, I didn't get that impression when she was over for waffles. She doesn't like the boat?

JASMINE: No, she does not like the boat. And she's got this whole thing that, you know, like he's stayed with her before long-term, and he's only stayed with you for, like, a night or two.

CROSBY: Mm-hmm.

JASMINE: So she's...

CROSBY: Then you reminded her that I was his father and that wasn't really any of her concern?

JASMINE: Yeah. Yeah, I did.

CROSBY: How do you feel?



JASMINE: I feel like it's something to discuss.

CROSBY: Meaning...

JASMINE: Meaning I don't think my mother's completely wrong.

CROSBY: Right. See, I'm asking you how you feel, and you keep saying, "my mother this," and "my mother this." I didn't have a kid with your mom!

JASMINE: Okay, I, I think that he'd be better off with her. No, I mean, he's got his own room there. He's comfortable. He's known his grandmother his whole life.

CROSBY: Yeah, well, I'm his dad.

JASMINE: And...You'll see him every day, Crosby.

CROSBY: Oh, is that what you guys decided, that I can see him every day? You and your mom figured this out? I don't think, legally, you guys can just make all these decisions without asking me.

JASMINE: No, no, no. We're not gonna go there.

CROSBY: It's an element in this. You can't just…

JASMINE: No, it's not an element. It's not, has nothing to do, no one's talking about your rights! It has nothing to do with that. I just wanna do what's best for Jabbar.

CROSBY: You think going to Europe for six weeks is what's best for Jabbar? That, what Parenting Magazine did that come from?

JASMINE: First of all, get your facts right. It's four weeks, not six.

CROSBY: Oh, it's four weeks. That's so much better.

JASMINE: And I'm not going Europe on some vacation, like I'm going to backpack through Europe and dump my kid over here. Is that what I'm doing?

CROSBY: Well, you're not going to cure cancer!

JASMINE: You know what? I'm not even... This is crazy. You know what? Actually, he's staying with my mother, so deal with it.

CROSBY: Well, we'll see what Julia thinks about that.

JASMINE: I don't care about what your sister has to say! Are you kidding me? You wanna get your sister? Really? That's what you're gonna take it to?


JASMINE: See what I come back with. Go get your sister! [Walks out.] Gotta be kidding me.

CROSBY: I didn't mea...

MATT: Hey, Crosby, how was that take, man?

CROSBY: I gotta be honest, dude. I didn't hear that last take. [Pause.] I'm sorry.

[New Scene - Adam's office.]

CROSBY: I mean, what would you do if someone was telling you they didn't want your son to live with you?

ADAM: Well, I don't think that I would ever find myself in that position.

CROSBY: Well, that sounds judgmental. [To Sarah as she enters.] Where the hell have you been? I need input.

SARAH: I had a meeting.

ADAM: What do you mean, 'You had a meeting'?

SARAH: I mean, I don't know. The just brought me along to the thing about the logo.

ADAM: The logo meeting?

CROSBY: Who cares about the logo? Listen, Jasmine's taking off for four weeks, and she wants Jabbar to stay with her mom.

ADAM: [To Sarah.] Can you believe this?

SARAH: Well…

CROSBY: I mean, that's not right, is it? I mean, I should have a say in this, don't you think?

SARAH: Of course you should have a say.

CROSBY: Don't I have a right? Right?

SARAH: I don't know what your rights are. You should call Julia, I mean, just to know…

CROSBY: I think that's an excellent idea.

SARAH: Let's call her.

CROSBY: By the way, it's tremendous that you two are working together now. It really saves me a lot of time.

ADAM: That's good. [To Sarah.] What was the meeting about the logo?

CROSBY: Lookit, you're gonna call.

ADAM: All right, all right.

SARAH: Call Julia.

CROSBY: Gotta break up your relaxation face.

SARAH: I'm tired.

CROSBY: Put it on speakerphone.

ADAM: [On the Phone.] Hi, Julia Braverman, please.

SARAH: No, put her on the videoconference. Videoconference is awesome.

CROSBY: You guys have videoconference?

SARAH: And then you can talk to her in the computer.

CROSBY: Like in Tron.

ADAM: [On the Phone.] It's her brother Adam.

SARAH: Dick Tracy.

ADAM: [On the Phone.] Put her on. [To Sarah and Crosby.] Guys, guys. [On the Phone.] Uh-huh. No, I understand. Thanks. Okay, bye. [Hangs up the phone.] Uh, she's in a very important conference call and cannot be disturbed.

CROSBY: Oh, give me a break. That's pretty offensive. The three of us?

ADAM: But listen, here's what you gotta do. You gotta talk to Jasmine, and you have to let her know that she doesn't have the right to make unilateral decisions about where and with whom Jabbar is gonna live while she's away. There's gotta be a dialog.

CROSBY: Unilateral, I like that.

SARAH: And you have to be ready to, you know, put your money where your mouth is and…

CROSBY: What does that mean?

SARAH: I don't know…

CROSBY: What are you saying?

SARAH: Like maybe get an apartment instead of having him on the boat.

CROSBY: Yeah, well, I can't do that between right now and tomorrow. So are you saying…

SARAH: I just mean are you ready?

ADAM: She's just asking you if you think that that's what's best for Jabbar. I think that that's the question you have to ask yourself.

CROSBY: Wait, so you don't think he should be with me, either?

ADAM: That's not what I'm saying.

SARAH: That's what you guys are both…

ADAM: I'm saying you should take some time and think about it.

CROSBY: I should take some time. All right.

ADAM: Somewhere else. 'Cause, believe it or not, this is actually a place of business, and I have work to do.

CROSBY: I'm not getting in the way of your work with your leg up on the desk while I'm thinking. I'm sure you can manage both things.

ADAM: All right, okay, you sit there and think, and I'll get back to work and find out just exactly what the hell is going on with the logo meeting.

SARAH: See what I'm dealing with? He's so tense here, all day.

[New Scene - Julia's office.]

JULIA: [On the phone.] I've been reviewing a mental transcript of the conversation, and, in retrospect, I believe that my comments were not only appropriate, but they were entirely justified.

JOEL: Julia, you essentially told this mom that her daughter has issues.

JULIA: No, I did not. You're twisting my words, counsellor.

JOEL: Oh, no, please. Not with the legal talk. Freaks me out.

JULIA: All right...Babe. I was just trying to help Sydney out of this whole play date thing by being honest with the woman, and she goes and writes me this angry email.

JOEL: Well, what exactly did you say to her?

JULIA: I said nothing.

JOEL: Nothing?

JULIA: Maybe I said something about there being bad blood between Amy G. and Isabel…

JOEL: Bad, you said bad blood? [Laughs] What is this, The Godfather?

JULIA: That's what you told me. Is that not the truth?

JOEL: Sweetheart, Amy G's mom is a powerhouse. She's the president of the Parents' Association. So fix this, or the whole mothers mafia will prevent our daughter ever having a play date ever again.

JULIA: Okay, how do I fix it?

JOEL: Uh, tell her you were wrong.

JULIA: I'm not wrong. I will not compromise my integrity.

JOEL: Okay, well, you can keep your integrity, and our daughter will end up bitter and lonely. If that's what you want.

JULIA: Ugh. These are five-year-olds. I can't believe their social politics are this complicated.

JOEL: Welcome to my hell.

[New Scene - Braverman house. Adam dropping Sarah off from work.]

SARAH: All right, pick me up tomorrow?

ADAM: Yeah.

SARAH: Okay, thanks. Bye!

ADAM: Oh, hey, Sarah. Wait. [Getting out of the car.] Forgot your coffee mugs.

SARAH: Thank you. Okay, see ya.

ADAM: Hey, you know... I was thinking it actually might be better for us not to carpool anymore.

SARAH: You really hate my coffee?

ADAM: No, no, no. No, it's just, it's, it's the only time of the day that I get to be by myself. Nothing personal.

SARAH: I understand. No, I really do understand.

ADAM: Okay.

SARAH: Okay, I'll meet you there tomorrow.

ADAM: Thanks.


ADAM: Hey, uh, Sarah, if, uh... Also, I just want to ask you not to talk about... Max or my personal life at work.

SARAH: Yeah. I didn't, I mean, I didn't mean to get into it, you know. Just Phil Lessing…

ADAM: Yeah, I know. You don't have to explain yourself. Just don't do it.

SARAH: I didn't know it was a secret.

ADAM: It's not a secret, Sarah, it's my personal life, and I should be able to choose how and when I want to talk about it.

SARAH: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. If you have any other things you'd like to decide when and how you talk about them, just give me a head's up, just let me know, just so…

ADAM: It's not something I should have to ask you for.

SARAH: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

ADAM: You should just respect my privacy.

SARAH: Oh, God, Adam, I'll see you tomorrow. And I also don't think you should be spending quite so much time with Gordon.

SARAH: What does that mean?

ADAM: Well... Sarah, I mean, you had lunch with him for 77 minutes today.

SARAH: Oh, my God, you timed our lunch?

ADAM: I think he might be getting the wrong idea.

SARAH: Getting the wrong idea? Adam, what are you talking about?

ADAM: You're just really chatty. You were flirting with the guy.

SARAH: I wasn't being chatty and flirty. I have a personality. I had pudding and Lunch.

ADAM: Look, it's a different kind of workplace, okay? It's not a bar.

SARAH: [Getting mad.] Ooh! Don't say that to me! I know it's not a bar. You don't have to tell me it's not a bar…

ADAM: Look Sarah you're my little sister okay...

SARAH: I know how to conduct myself outside of a bar!

ADAM: This guy is a dog! He's not a good guy for you to get involved with! Okay.

SARAH: I know how to judge people by myself, for myself! I don't need your help!

ADAM: It's your second day on the job!

SARAH: I know it is.

ADAM: You shouldn't be hanging out for an hour and a half with the president of the company.

SARAH: 77 minutes! It was only 77 minutes. I don't even understand this. It just feels like you regret doing this at all.

ADAM: Well, don't make me regret it.

SARAH: Okay, I won't make you regret it. I quit.

ADAM: Oh, okay. That's a big surprise…

SARAH: It's not going to work obviously…

ADAM: Quitting is definitely the answer.

SARAH: You can send me my $29 check or whatever you're paying me for this great internship in the mail.

ADAM: Okay, quitter. Nothin' new.

SARAH: I quit!

ADAM: There you go, be a quitter. [Watches Sarah walk away.] Great.

[New Scene - Inside the Braverman house, living room. Zeek and Drew are playing Wii, Amber and Camille doing a crossword.]

ZEEK: You ready?

CAMILLE: I think star is wrong here, though. Stark the one across is…

AMBER: You're right star is for sure wrong.

SARAH: Hi! I'm home.

CAMILLE: Look at three down. Three down. Cane. He used a cane. Take the cane and go like that. I'm going to go with cane.

AMBER: I'm gonna lightly pencil it in.

SARAH: Hi, I'm home!



ZEEK: Just a minute. I'm serving.

DREW: Has anyone told you…

SARAH: What are you guys doing? I feel like those backpacks haven't been opened. Did anyone do anything, huh? Hey, um, do you want me to help you start something for dinner, mom?

ZEEK: Damn it.

CAMILLE: No, we ate already.


AMBER: Loosen, 44 down.

SARAH: Okay. Hey, did you order contact lenses, you know?

AMBER: I will, mom, I promise. Please.

CAMILLE: Well, Baretta's right.

SARAH: [Shouting] Hey, you know, people need to get things done, okay? It can't just all be crossword puzzles and Pac-Man! You have to actually do things, okay? And do your homework. Okay?

[Drops her bag and walks out of the room.]

ZEEK: Pac-man?

AMBER: Pac-man.

CAMILLE: Pac-man! Where did she, where did she come up with that?

AMBER: Forget it, guys.

ZEEK: Who's serving?

DREW: Yours.

ZEEK: Mine?

DREW: Yeah.

[Sarah re-enters the room and begins talking but no one is listening.]

SARAH: I'm sorry. Just had a really bad day.

ZEEK: Are you ready?

DREW: Yeah.

SARAH: Gonna go kill myself. Nothing. Not even here.

[NEW SCENE - Adam arrives home, 'Hamster Dance' is playing. Noel is jumping on a small trampoline in the living room, Max is making 'music' is another corner of the house and Suze is crying in the kitchen. Adam back out of the door and shuts it.]

[Short time later Adam has taken refuge in his car. Drives seat reclined he is listening to some more Ray LaMontagne.]

KRISTINA: [Knocks on the widow before opening the back door.] You okay?

ADAM: Yeah. Yeah, I'm just…

KRISTINA: Hiding? You wanna be alone?


KRISTINA: Are you sure?

ADAM: Yeah.

KRISTINA: All right, I'm getting in. Ohh. I like this.

ADAM: Why is there a trampoline in our living room?

KRISTINA: Noel needs the stimulation.

ADAM: Is there an end to it?

KRISTINA: To what?

ADAM: To Noel Lessing being in our house when I come home from work?

KRISTINA: Honey, I don't know what to say. I mean, Suze's in a lot of pain. I've tried to say no, but I can't. It's just not in me, and...I'm sorry.

ADAM: You have a big heart.


ADAM: Bigger than mine.

KRISTINA: I don't know about that. You hired your sister. Something I wouldn't do.

ADAM: She quit.

KRISTINA: She quit? Why?

ADAM: Because I criticized her for having a two-hour lunch with Gordon, and then talking to him about Max.

KRISTINA: Maybe that's better, then, she quit, you know?

ADAM: I don't know, I just, you know, maybe I shouldn't have hired Sarah. I just, I did it because I was feeling guilty.

KRISTINA: Honey, she is your sister. It's okay. You know, you were just being you.

ADAM: Hmm.

KRISTINA: Just you're kind and compassionate. And generous and...

ADAM: Stupid.

KRISTINA: No. I was gonna say... Sexy.

ADAM: [Chuckles]

KRISTINA: [Whispering] We should make out.

ADAM: Hmm?

KRISTINA: You want do? [They kiss.]

SUZE: [Knocks on the window.] Kristina, hey!


SUZE: Hey. Noel was wondering if you have any more of the pasta salad?

KRISTINA: Yeah. Yeah. Let me get it.

SUZE: Oh, no, you know, I can get it myself.

KRISTINA: [Opens the door.] Um…

SUZE: No, it's fine. I can get it. Just tell me where it is.

KRISTINA: Um... It's on the second shelf... Next to the mayo, behind the pickles.

SUZE: What's going on in here? Hi, guys. You know what? Get a room. For reals.

KRISTINA: [Nervous laugh.] Okay. [To Adam.] Oh, honey. My God.

ADAM: That kid is a bottomless pit.

[NEW SCENE - Renee's house, Crosby rides up on his motorcycle.]

RENEE: Gotta break it up a little so that the... The roots... Yeah, and then you... Then you just kind of pack it in.

JABBAR: Daddy!

CROSBY: Hey, Buddy! You gardening?


RENEE: Hello, Crosby.

CROSBY: Hi, Renee.

RENEE: How are you?


RENEE: Good. Jabbar, let's go get some lemonade.


RENEE: Lemonade!

CROSBY: So...I thought about it. And... I really want Jabbar to stay with me. But I can see how it's probably better for him here. Till I get...An apartment or something, at least.

JASMINE: Thank you.

CROSBY: But I'm worried you... You're pulling away. This feels like something I've done to people. Are you pulling away from me?

JASMINE: No, I'm not pulling away from you.

CROSBY: You sure?

JASMINE: Yeah. You're really cute.

CROSBY: It's the motorcycle.


CROSBY: Yeah, I'm just a six. But with the motorcycle, I'm an eight.

[NEW SCENE - Sydney playing at home with Amy]

AMY: I want that!

SYDNEY: Unh! Mm!

JOEL: So you told Amy G.'s mom that Amy P. was actually the problem. I just talked to Amy P.'s mom, and she was, um, not happy.

JULIA: Give it time. It'll blow over.

JOEL: Yeah?

JULIA: Yeah. And besides, there are three Amy's, right? So they can blame it on the other one.

JOEL: Hmm. What happens when we run out of Amy's?

JULIA: You...Will think of something.

JOEL: You said that so seductively. Clever girl.

[NEW SCENE - Braverman guesthouse, Adam knocks.]

ADAM: Can I come in?

SARAH: Of course.

ADAM: Um... Listen, I'm sorry. I overreacted. Okay, so I apologize.

SARAH: That's okay. I overreacted too. It's okay.

ADAM: It's really not okay, because... Things have not been great at work, as you know, and I took it out on you. [Sarah shrugs her shoulders.] It's just I feel all this pressure at work because of Gordon, and I just, if he knew how much time I spent thinking about Max and Asperger's and... Kristina, Haddie, mom, dad, you, Jabbar, Crosby, all of that, you know, he would probably fire me.

SARAH: He's not gonna fire you. He likes you. You're indispensable to him.

ADAM: Did he say that to you?

SARAH: Well, he implied it in 77 minutes.

ADAM: No, no. Nobody's indispensable. Not these days. Not in this economy, so...

SARAH: Adam, you're too hard on yourself. Relax, don't worry. You do such a good job.

ADAM: So, come on, you're not really quitting. So...Let's go.

SARAH: Yes, I am quitting. I don't want to make things harder for you.

ADAM: Sarah, listen to me. Okay? Look at me. I want you there. Okay? [A moment of silence but they can' keep a strait face and both laugh.] What? I do, I really do. I want you there.

SARAH: You don't really believe that. You couldn't even really say it.

ADAM: I'm working on it. So come on, will you get dressed? Let's go to work.

SARAH: Really?

ADAM: Yeah. Come on.

SARAH: This is such a good idea. You will not regret it. Because I was just getting started. I mean, I was just getting in a groove, you know? And, um, listen, I won't do any of the stuff that was bugging you, okay?

ADAM: Oh okay.

SARAH: I won't talk about your personal life. Oh, but you're gonna have to take me to work every day this week, okay, because the car is in the shop…

ADAM: Yep.

SARAH: and, um, can we play some different music?

ADAM: Hey, that's Ray LaMontagne, okay? The man's a genius. That's what we listen to in my car.

SARAH: Like, can't we have a little, like, you know, something snappier?

ADAM: Get dressed, okay? We're late.

SARAH: Okay, I'm hurrying. I'm hurrying.

ADAM: God.

SARAH: You're the best!

[NEW SCENE - Airport with Crosby, Jasmine, Renee and Jabbar.]

JASMINE: I gave you the Pediatrician's number, right?

RENEE: Yes, you did.

JASMINE: Okay, Buddy. We're gonna talk every day, twice a day, okay?

JABBAR: Why can't I come? You can't come, honey. You have to stay with your grandma and your dad. All right, give me a hug. I love you.

JABBAR: I love you too.

PA ANNOUNCEMENT: Last call. Now boarding all... All sections. All rows are now boarding.

JASMINE: I gotta go. I gotta go.

RENEE: [Hugging.] It's okay. We'll be fine. You'll shine.

CROSBY: [Kiss and hug.] Have fun.

[Jasmine leaves with one last look back.]

CROSBY: [To Jabbar.] You wanna go get some waffles on the way home, or you wanna wait till we get home?


[Crosby, Jabbar and Renee all hold hands as the leave the airport.]

[NEW SCENE - Adam arrives home to an empty but messy house.]

ADAM: Yo, I'm home.

[Reads a note left by Kristina 'Hi Love Nut, took the kids to dinner RELAX I heart you. K']

ADAM: Yes! [He takes a beer from the fridge and flops onto the couch, turns on the TV.] Ahh.

MALE VOICE ON TV: And he takes a fast ball up and away outside for ball number one.

[But he can't relax.]

[NEW SCENE - Restaurant, Kristina, Haddie, Max and Noel are seated.]

HADDIE: ['Conducting' the boy as the make sounds.] And Max's solo.

KRISTINA: Hey, Noel.

HADDIE: And Noel's solo.

KRISTINA: Oh, you know what? Your mom said you do a great Russian accent.

NOEL: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, I can.

MAX: How come you don't have to eat your string beans?

NOEL: 'Cause I don't want to.

MAX: Why doesn't he have to eat his string beans?

ADAM: Well, because Noel's our guest. [To Kristina.] Hi.


HADDIE: Thought you said dad wasn't coming.

ADAM: Scooch over, would you?

NOEL: Hi, Adam.

ADAM: How are you, Noel?

NOEL: I'm good.

ADAM: You're good?

[Camera pulls back as we fade to black.]

Episode End
2.02 - No Good Deed
Original Airdate (NBC) September 21, 2010
Written by Tyler Bensinger
Directed by Lawrence Trilling

Transcribed by Craig Best
Original subtitles from www.addic7ed.com

Please Don't Use Without Permission!

This is a transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, some settings have been added where needed along with actions and/or camera movements where I felt they were necessary. "PARENTHOOD" and other related entities are owned, their respective companies and no copyright infringement is intended..
All Rights Reserved. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain.