[Opening scene - A broken vase is on the floor at Julia and Joel's house]
JULIA: Well, you wanna tell me how this happened, Bug?
SYDNEY: You know Skippy from next door? He ran right in and knocked it down.
JULIA: [Looks at Joel to back to Sydney.] Huh. You know, the Munro's don't have a dog anymore.
SYDNEY: Skippy came back.
JULIA: Skippy's... Skippy went to the countr after that thing with the car. I don't think he's coming back.
SYDNEY: Well he did.
JULIA: [Starting to clean up the mess.] Joel, don't. Whoever broke it, will clean it up.
SYDNEY: Skippy doesn't know how to clean, mom.
JULIA: Skippy didn't break the vase, Bug.
SYDNEY: Yes he did, I saw him.
JULIA: There's no excuse for lying.
SYDNEY: But you're a liar.
JULIA: No, baby, I'm a lawyer.
SYDNEY: Tommy's mom said that they're the same thing.
JULIA: Just tell me the truth. Did you break the vase?
SYDNEY: No. Did you?
[New Scene - Drew at school, hallway between classes, he goes to his locker.]
LINDSEY: Hey, is that Periodic test today?
DREW: Oh, um, uh, no, no, it's actually Monday.
DREW: Yeah. [Pointing to a Banner.] Look. Let the games begin. You know they should just use the dance money for like a
vending machine or something.
LINDSEY: Actually, I was gonna go. I mean why not, right?
DREW: Yeah, yeah.
LINDSEY: See ya.
[New Scene - Braverman house.]
DREW: Does it even matter what I wear to a school dance? It's a school dance.
AMBER: Of course it matters because Lindsey is there and you've had a crush on Lindsey for forever and you are like in love with her and if you don't look good she's not gonna be into you and she's not gonna date you
DREW: Well you aren't supposed say that now I'll thinking about it
AMBER: ... it's the one thing I know about.
SARAH: [To Amber] I need you to pick five schools
AMBER: [To Drew] Okay?
SARAH: Because we're going on your college tour there's a bunch of catalogues here so...
AMBER: [To Drew] I really think this is cute. [To Sarah] Wait a sec, the college tour? I thought we couldn't afford it.
DREW: [To Amber] Do I want to wear white?
SARAH: Yes, no, well I picked up extra shifts cause I think it's important. And you're gonna come work with me tomorrow night.
AMBER: Oh, at the bar?
SARAH: No, we have a catering gig at Cal...
AMBER: [To Drew] Hang on, this is in the top choices ok?
SARAH: ...and it's a poetry reading and so you're gonna get to see the school
AMBER: Poetry reading? Yeah, I'd actually rather sell an organ...
SARAH: ...and we get some extra money.
AMBER: ...but, thanks for inviting me.
SARAH: Well, you know if you don't change that attitude it may come to that,
cause I don't think you need both livers anyway.
AMBER: 'Scuse me, why do you think...
DREW: What about this?
AMBER: [To Drew] That's not good. [To Sarah] Why do you think that me giving little tiny hors d'oeuvres to English majors is gonna make me want to go to college?
SARAH: Well what is gonna make you want to go to college?!
AMBER: Uhh, nothing! Cause I don't want to go
SARAH: I mean, you don't seem to feel the pressure...
DREW: Are we gonna do this? You guys, just...
SARAH: ...you don't seem to get that this is the year! This is your junior year...
AMBER: [To Drew] I really like this shirt, I don't think that white's a good idea for the dance
SARAH: ...this is the year that is the difference between Paging Dr. Braverman or Do you want fries with that?
AMBER: Dr. Braverman? Really?
SARAH: This is the year!
AMBER: Really? Dr. Braverman.
SARAH: Yes! It's possible...
AMBER: And it would be Dr. Holt anyway.
SARAH: If you'd just *ugh*
AMBER: [To Drew] Listen, I think it's gonna be this one, I just need to make sure.
SARAH: Just pick five schools Amber! Why is it so hard? [To Drew] That's cute, wear that.
AMBER: [To Sarah] It's cute, right? [To Drew] This is the one that I like the best.
DREW: I already chose it. I chose this from the very beginning.
SARAH: [To Drew] Honey, If you're gonna wear a T-Shirt, wear a blazer. You look so cute in a blazer. (Kisses him)
DREW: Right, thank you.
[New Scene - Jasmine's apartment, they are watching ET on TV with Crosby. Jasmine yawns, clearly tired.]
TV : Aw god
CROSBY: [Laughing] Come on he didn't even make it to the flying bikes part.
JASMINE: I know, I know, it's too late.
CROSBY: You wanna wake him up?
CROSBY: I'll grab him. [Quietly as he takes Jabbar.] Okay. [Carries him to his bed and puts Jabbar down.] There you go, buddy.
[Crosby pulls the sheets up and kisses him good night. Jasmine then kisses him on the cheek before turning out the light and leaving the room. Crosby is watching at the door, they share a moment before kissing gently.]
CROSBY: I should go.
[New Scene - Kristina and Adam's bedroom, he is in bed will she puts some towels in the bathroom.]
KRISTINA: Hi, honey. Guess what. Guess what. Guess what.
KRISTINA: Denise just called, and she is announcing her candidacy for Lieutenant Governor in Sacramento this weekend.
ADAM: Really? That's great. Good for her.
KRISTINA: I know. It's amazing. And she wants me to come down and help her out. You know, like, help her with her speeches, and things like that.
ADAM: Just like old times, huh?
KRISTINA: Yeah, I told her there's probably no way with everything that's going on with Max, and he's getting acclimated, and your work
ADAM: Wait, wait, wait. You said no?
KRISTINA: Yeah, I told her no.
ADAM: But it's just for the weekend.
KRISTINA: Yeah, like, three days.
ADAM: Well, honey, this is major. It's huge. I mean, you were with her from the beginning.
KRISTINA: So should I do it? Are you telling me to do it?
ADAM: Sounds to me like the future Lieutenant Governor needs you.
KRISTINA: Honey, that is so awesome. I won't be gone longer than that. I promise. [Adam tosses her a package.] What is this?
ADAM: I don't know. Just a little something-something that came in the mail today.
KRISTINA: I think I know what it is. [Opening the package.]
ADAM: I think you do too. Yow.
KRISTINA: You dirty dog. [Sits on the bed.] Honey.
KRISTINA: I hope it fits me. This left boob is a little bit bigger than the right.
ADAM: I like that right there. [Growls].
KRISTINA: What inspired this little bit of naughtiness? [She lays the lacy brazier across his chest.]
ADAM: What are you talking about? What do you mean?
KRISTINA: What do you mean what do I mean?
ADAM: What do you mean what do I mean? I mean
ADAM: You ordered it.
KRISTINA: No, I didn't.
ADAM: You didn't?
KRISTINA: No, I didn't order this. Did you look at the package? Did it come... [Checking the package.] Hmm. You can read it.
ADAM: "H. Braverman." Haddie? Had, get it off me. Get it off. Get it off.
[Opening Credits - featuring Forever Young by Bob Dylan]
[New Scene - Adam and Kristina's kitchen, morning.]
KRISTINA: Oh, hey, honey. Good morning.
KRISTINA: Hey, is Max awake yet?
HADDIE: Um, yeah, I think he's just changing.
KRISTINA: Oh, okay, good. Oh, before I forget, a package came for you yesterday. From Victoria's Secret? It got opened accidentally. I'm not sure how. It just
HADDIE: How would a package with my name on it get opened accidentally?
KRISTINA: Well, I think your father assumed that it was for me, so therefore he opened it.
HADDIE: Oh, that's really gross.
KRISTINA: Anyway, he threw it away, so it doesn't matter.
KRISTINA: Mm-hmm. He was gonna burn it, but, you know, he figured probably not a good idea.
HADDIE: Mom, I spent my money on that. That's expensive.
KRISTINA: I know that you did. That's why I rescued it.
HADDIE: Thank you.
KRISTINA: So, Haddie, can I just ask you a question? Why would you buy yourself a bra like that?
HADDIE: I'm not gonna talk about this with you.
KRISTINA: Okay, you know what? That's fine. You're gonna have to talk to dad about it, then, because he's really curious as to why...
HADDIE: Oh, you would not do that.
KRISTINA: Yes, I would. I'll call him right now.
HADDIE: All right. What do you want to know? Just ask.
KRISTINA: Did you buy that bra for Steve?
HADDIE: [Smiling] Mom...
HADDIE: You know Steve doesn't have boobs. I'm not gonna buy him a bra. Don't be ridiculous.
KRISTINA: Haddie, did you buy it for Steve?
HADDIE: No, okay? I bought it for myself, all right? It's pretty and it's sexy, and, I mean, I don't know what you want to think about me, but I'm a woman.
KRISTINA: You have to promise me something. You have to promise me that you're being smart, and you're being careful, and you're not having sex.
HADDIE: What do you think sex is?
KRISTINA: I don't know. Anything beyond making out, or
HADDIE: That's your definition of sex?
KRISTINA: For you.
HADDIE: I think I have to get ready for school. Like you said, I can't be late again.
KRISTINA: I trust you.
[New Scene - Café, Adam and Crosby.]
ADAM: What do you mean you think you made out with her?
CROSBY: It's the mother of my child.
ADAM: So what, that's somehow warped your memory?
CROSBY: I watched the video of my son coming out of her insides.
ADAM: Oh, oh, huge mistake for you.
CROSBY: Huge mistake.
ADAM: Yeah, no man should have to witness that unprepared. Least of all you.
CROSBY: It's extreme.
ADAM: Yeah, you think you're gonna recover?
CROSBY: Does it recover?
ADAM: Yeah. Yeah, it does. In time.
CROSBY: So Kristina is...?
ADAM: A--ba, ba, ba.
ADAM: What do you think? You guys gonna get together?
CROSBY: You know, I think it's safer if we just stay friends.
ADAM: Yeah, that's good. You better play it safe. Yeah. Good idea.
CROSBY: Well, look, it's not like I can walk away from this one.
ADAM: Good for you, Crosby.
CROSBY: But then again, I'm only human. She's very attractive. So I don't know.
ADAM: All right, well, what does Jasmine think about all this?
CROSBY: I don't know.
ADAM: Well, have you considered maybe asking her?
CROSBY: You know, I just, I wish that we could just hang out, you know, with no kid, just the two of us, and kind of get to know each other again, but, you know, now the cart's in front of the horse. It's like
ADAM: Well, there is something that people do in situations like this. It's called dating.
[New Scene - Julia, Sarah and Kristina in her bedroom.]
JULIA: How's it going, Kristina?
KRISTINA: It's, I have a couple of choices that I think might work.
SARAH: Come on.
JULIA: Let's see 'em.
KRISTINA: Ta-da! How do I look?
SARAH: From the David Byrne collection.
KRISTINA: Who's David Byrne?
JULIA: Joan Collins?
SARAH: Cybil Shepherd's lost jacket.
KRISTINA: You're making fun of me, aren't you?
JULIA: Were you on Dynasty?
KRISTINA: I can't do it.
SARAH: It's like an episode of Hoarders. When's the last time you cleaned that closet?
KRISTINA: Oh, my God. You know what? My daughter has a better wardrobe than I do.
JULIA: Kristina, let me find something.
SARAH: We'll help you. She'll help.
KRISTINA: Oh, by the way, guess who started buying bras.
KRISTINA: From Victoria's Secret?
KRISTINA: Well, that's okay.
KRISTINA: Yes. Very sexy bras.
SARAH: How bad is it? What's the lace to base?
KRISTINA: The what?
SARAH: If it's really lacey, it means she's going further on the "basey." You know.
KRISTINA: What are you talking about? She's not doing any of that
SARAH: First base is kissing. Second base is
[To Julia] what is second base?
KRISTINA: There's a lot of lace, but she's not doing any of that.
[Julia send Sarah a sign to stop, using her hands.]
SARAH: Okay, second base is reading Tennyson.
KRISTINA: Okay, stop it.
JULIA: And, um, can I ask you guys something? When did your children start lying to you?
SARAH: Uh, it was in the hospital, I think. Amber was born, and she said, "it wasn't my vodka."
KRISTINA: Ooh, Haddie was two. She swore to me that she did not stick a little bead up her nose, and the doctor pulled it out and was like, "here's the bead."
JULIA: So this is normal? That's what kids do...
SARAH: Especially in your family.
JULIA: Wait. What?
SARAH: Especially, you know
SARAH: She'd learn it from you.
SARAH: 'Cause you're a
a lawyer. They lie.
JULIA: Okay, I'm not gonna go into it.
SARAH: Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It was just a joke. You're beautiful. You're so successful. You're amazing at your job. There's no better role model out there. I serve liquor for a living, and I didn't go to college, and now Amber doesn't want to go, 'cause I'm such a great role model, so
JULIA: Wait. Amber doesn't want to go?
KRISTINA: She's gotta go to college.
SARAH: I can't make her do anything.
JULIA: She's going to college.
SARAH: Okay, I mean, yeah.
KRISTINA: You know what the problem is for mothers?
[New Scene - Same time, down stairs Adam answers the front door.]
ADAM: Hey, Drew.
DREW: Hey, Hi
ADAM: Come on in.
DREW: Oh, thanks. Hey, Max.
ADAM: You all right?
DREW: Yeah, I'm fine, but...
ADAM: What's going on?
DREW: Oh, um... Okay, basically, there's a school dance coming up, and I'm really nervous about it, because I don't know how to dance. That's basically why I'm here. And I didn't want to ask someone who's gonna humiliate me, my sister or something.
ADAM: All right, Drew, say no more. Look, I don't want to toot my own horn, but when I was in High School people used to call me "Fever." Saturday Night Fever? John Travolta?
DREW: Oh, I haven't really seen it, but...
ADAM: Doesn't matter. Tell you what. Come on, help me clear out some space here.
DREW: It's just
ADAM: I'll show you a few moves. All right, now listen. Most important thing, you got to just relax. You got to shut this off, turn this on. [Pointing to his head then body.] That's all I'm saying, okay?
DREW: I'm really trying.
ADAM: Let me find the right piece of music.
[It's Tricky by Run-DMC starts playing loudly from an iPod.]
DREW: I don't know
ADAM: Just feel the music. [He starts to dance.]
DREW: [Hardly heard over the song.] No... I mean, thank you, but...
ADAM: Feel the music.
DREW: No, I meant, like... I meant more like slow-dancing type of...
ADAM: I know slow-dancing, but it doesn't matter what the music is, man. You just got to, you got to feel that in your body. Start here.
DREW: Oh, yeah, sorry.
ADAM: You might feel it in your legs, your arms, your feet, shoulders, your rib cage. All over. You know what I'm saying?
[In the back ground Kristina, Sarah and Julia come down the stairs, stopping near the bottom. They are clearly amused at the sight.]
DREW: No, but not like that. Like, like with a partner type of, slow-dancing type of thing. Not like...
ADAM: Hey, you guys. Drew's got a little dance coming up. I'm just showing him a few moves. You know what, Drew, you might even want to throw some big stuff. You know, some of the, ho! [Getting down doing some rap moves.] Ooh!
SARAH: Oh, no, he's gonna put his back out again.
KRISTINA: No, I like it.
ADAM: Come on, Drew. Get out here. Most important thing to do is be confident, okay You ask a girl to dance with confidence, she can't say no.
DREW: I'm sorry. Thank you, though.
JULIA: Let me show you how it's done.
ADAM: All right.
KRISTINA: Who's ready for a party?
SARAH: Did he tell you about the Fever?
DREW: Yeah. He did?
SARAH: Once you unleash the Fever, it doesn't stop.
SARAH: But you know what? It's hard not to catch the Fever.
DREW: I'm doing my best.
[Drew and now Max watch on in amazement as their parents and Julia dance.]
[New Scene - Jasmine's apartment, front door.]
JASMINE: You came all this way for a sock?
CROSBY: Yeah, well, I just couldn't stop thinking about Jabbar with one cold foot, and then get frostbite, and then have a limp, and... You know.
JASMINE: Thanks. He'll, uh, I'm sure he'll appreciate it.
CROSBY: Okay. Good
Look, I know this is kind of weird. I mean, we already have a kid, and I'm kind of doing this backwards, but I want to get to know you. I want to spend time with you. You know? I'd like to go out to dinner with you and talk, without any flying bicycles or extraterrestrials or kids.
JASMINE: You mean a date.
CROSBY: Yeah. You want to do that?
JASMINE: [Acting cool] Yeah. I guess.
CROSBY: Oh. Well, I'm only taking a "yes," so...
CROSBY: I guess I will see you on Saturday.
JASMINE: I guess you shall.
[New Scene - Outside Kristina and Adam's house, Adam is loading a suitcase into the car.]
KRISTINA: How do I look? Do I look okay? Does this suit look okay?
KRISTINA: It's nice, right?
KRISTINA: Okay, listen, I want you to call me if anything comes up at all.
KRISTINA: I need you to help dad with Max, okay?
KRISTINA: [Hugging Haddie.] I trust you. Okay.
KRISTINA: Max, honey, look at mom. I need you to be a good boy for me this weekend, okay?
MAX: I already said, I already said that I would.
ADAM: Max can you give your mom a hug goodbye
KRISTINA: See? Why am I doing this? This is ridiculous. Why am I going?
[Max can be heard in the background but not clearly as he talks like he does.]
ADAM: Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. You're gonna go, and you're gonna kick some political ass, okay? Love you.
[They quickly kiss.]
KRISTINA: I love you too.
ADAM: All right.
KRISTINA: You sure?
ADAM: I'm gonna be fine.
ADAM: All right we're proud of you, honey.
HADDIE: She thinks she's going on a pilgrimage.
ADAM: [To Haddie] Would you knock it off? [To Kristina] Hey, drive safely.
ADAM: All right.
[Kristina starts the engine, Adam hears his phone ring.]
KRISTINA: [Over the phone.] Honey?
ADAM: Hi, honey.
KRISTINA: Do not forget to defrost the dinner that I made for you.
ADAM: I won't forget.
KRISTINA: It's meatloaf.
ADAM: I won't forget.
This is a mistake.
ADAM: No, Kristina, I want this for you. Okay, please, let me do this for you. I can handle it. I love you.
KRISTINA: I love you too.
ADAM: [Blows her a kiss.] Get out of here.
KRISTINA: Okay. Okay, I'm going.
ADAM: We're good.
KRISTINA: I'm leaving.
ADAM: All right, good-bye.
KRISTINA: I love you.
[New Scene - Julia and Joel's house, Sydney and Julia are at the dinning table. Joel is sitting nearby on the couch.]
JULIA: [Rolling out a piece of paper.] And do you know who wrote the Declaration of Independence?
SYDNEY: Mm... you?
JULIA: No, not me. Thomas Jefferson. You heard of him?
JULIA: Okay. Well, he was one of the founding fathers of this country, he was our third President, and you know what else he was?
SYDNEY: Mm, no.
JULIA: He was a lawyer. As was our second President, John Adams, and many of our Presidents since then. This country was created by lawyers. So when Harmony's mom says that lawyers are liars, she's not just absolutely wrong, she's kind of insulting America itself.
SYDNEY: And we're Americans?
JULIA: We're Americans. That's right. And we're an honest people. So think about that, okay?
JULIA: Okay. 'Cause telling the truth is very, very, very important.
[Near by the scene of the accident has been tapped off.]
JULIA: So is there anything that you want to tell me?
SYDNEY: Mm... When's Jabbar coming over?
JULIA: Jabbar's coming over tonight.
[New Scene - Sarah and Amber walking outside Cal.]
SARAH: Look at all these people doing such interesting things. You know? Look at this. Isn't it inspiring? It's so beautiful
AMBER: I'll never get in here.
SARAH: That's not true.
AMBER: Do you know how hard it is to get into this school?
SARAH: Well, you haven't tried yet. I mean, just think about all the stuff that happened in the '60s, and the, you know The Nobel prize winner people who were here
AMBER: I don't want to think about that.
and you just stay up all night, you know, talking and thinking and smoke, I mean, not smoke. Don't smoke.
[New Scene - Busy War Room for Denise Bowser. Lots of twenty something men and women working on laptops at a large table.]
KRISTINA: So happy to be here.
DENISE: Of course. Of course. All right, heads up, guys. Heads up for a second. This is Kristina Braverman. She helped me on my very first campaign when I ran for school board. She helped me write my platform, and basically got me elected.
KRISTINA: Oh, I did not.
DENISE: Yes, you did.
KRISTINA: No, I didn't.
DENISE: Yes, you did. Okay. Listen, she is a great asset. Use her. Thanks.
DENISE: Ugh. Thank you so much for coming. I was so happy when you said you were coming.
KRISTINA: It's been so long.
DENISE: I want to hear all about the family. We need to catch up.
KRISTINA: Yeah, Max is a little bit...
DENISE: Have a drink later?
KRISTINA: Yeah, of course...
DENISE: Oh, my God. Listen, I've got to go shake some trees. I'm sorry. We'll talk. We'll catch up later.
KRISTINA: All right.
DENISE: Good luck.
KRISTINA: Should I sit here?
KRISTINA: So what's going on?
LAUREN: Dude, have you nailed down the Brown endorsement yet?
LENNY: Dude, I'm working all the angles I can.
KRISTINA: [Enthusiastically] Um, I, I actually know somebody that knows Jerry. Let me check. [Opening her Organize.] Jerry Brown... [The others look on.] Or at least I used to...
KRISTINA: Yeah. You can call me dude.
ED: Could you get something together on the assemblywoman's positions on education and the environment?
KRISTINA: Um, yeah, actually think I have copies of her position papers right here.
LAUREN: We were thinking more along the lines of some tweets? 140 characters or less.
KRISTINA: [Feeling old.] A Tweet, huh?
LAUREN: [To Lenny.] Do we have security for her speech tonight?
[New Scene - Adam is getting dinner ready.]
ADAM: All right, Max, time to turn off that TV.
MAX: Still have 20 more minutes of game time.
ADAM: What? [Seeing Haddie, her off the shoulder top exposing her new bra.] Uh, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on one second there Had. Max, this is what
HADDIE: Dad, I already okayed this with mom, so...
MAX: I turned it off for 20 minutes this afternoon. You owe me.
ADAM: [To Haddie.] Where are you going? [To Max.] And that is not the way that it works, and you know it.
HADDIE: I'm going to Steve's house, his parents are home so don't freak out or anything.
MAX: Mom lets me.
ADAM: [To Max.] Well, I'm not mom, okay? [To Haddie.] And, you, put on a jacket, okay?
[The door bell rings.]
HADDIE: Okay. Do you know where the gum is?
ADAM: No, I don't know where the gum is.
HADDIE: I'm not cold really, dad.
DREW: Hey. Um
ADAM: Wait, isn't the dance tonight?
DREW: Uh, yeah. I don't know. I'd rather just watch the giants, you know, and, uh, grandma's watching Project Runway, so can I just watch the game here?
ADAM: All right, Drew, come on in. Come on. Drew, listen to me. You are a Braverman, okay? It's genetic. You have moves. [Starts dancing again.] You know what I'm talking about? They're in you.
DREW: [Mockingly.] Yeah, um, that's what I'm worried about, actually.
ADAM: Listen, just go and check it out. If it's hell on Earth, we'll come back here, we'll watch the rest of the game, okay?
DREW: I don't know. It's just...
ADAM: I'm gonna drive you, okay? It's settled. All right, hey, Haddie. You are gonna stay home, and you are gonna watch Max.
HADDIE: Oh you know what
ADAM: Okay? 'Cause I'm gonna take Drew to the dance.
HADDIE: I'd like to, but I already checked this with mom, so I'm going to Steve's.
ADAM: Drew, hang on a second. Haddie.
ADAM: Hey, let me talk to you for a second, okay? Look at your cousin, okay? He is new at this school. He's obviously feeling awkward about going to this dance, okay? Now, if he doesn't put himself out there, he could just be an outcast forever.
HADDIE: For the rest of his life?
ADAM: For the rest of his life. Forever, okay? Can you just do this favor for him? Watch your brother just for one hour, all right? [Straightens her sweater to cover her bra strap.] Tops.
HADDIE: Excuse me
ADAM: Thank you. All right, Drew. Come on, man. I'm gonna show you how to use the fisherman to reel that girl in.
DREW: Please don't.
[New Scene - Julia answers her front door.]
JULIA: Hi, Jabbar. We're so excited you're spending the night with us.
JULIA: Sydney, Jabbar's here.
SYDNEY: Oh, yay!
JOEL: Hey, good to see you again. [Shakes Jasmines hand.]
SYDNEY: I got a new calico critter penguin. Want to see? Come on, let's go.
JASMINE: Good to see you again.
JULIA: Good to see you.
CROSBY: [Noticing the tapped off area.] What, uh, what's going on here?
JULIA: [Clearing her throat.] Well, that's the vase Sydney won't admit she broke.
CROSBY: So you're just leaving it there?
JULIA: For as long as it takes.
JOEL: Yep that's
CROSBY: You, uh, you realize that's insane and dangerous?
JOEL: We're quite aware of that.
JULIA: That's why it's cordoned off. For safety.
CROSBY: Okay. Ha ha. Oh, okay. Thank you so much.
[New Scene - UC Berkeley, Faculty Club. For the poetry reading, soft music is playing. As people are having Hors and drinks.]
JOSH: I think the book was better, you know? Anyway, did you see the, uh, eggers story in McSweeney's?
DEIRDRE: I don't read McSweeney's anymore. Ever since they passed on my last essay.
JOSH: Mm. Keep up the good work.
DEIRDRE: Oh, thanks.
SARAH: I read it, actually. I thought it was beautiful. So funny and, you know, sad.
JOSH: You read McSweeney's?
DEIRDRE: That's impressive.
SARAH: Oh, yeah, well, I had somebody help me with the big words. [Sliding their drinks over.] There you go.
[Sarah pokes out her tongue as they turn away from her and leave the bar.]
AMBER: You want me to go to school with those douches?
SARAH: Well, not everybody's gonna be like that, and just, you know, think of it as a way to expand your repertoire of obnoxious behavior.
JIM: Hey. How you doing?
SARAH: Oh, my goodness.
JIM: I can't believe you're here.
JIM: This is such a, this is, like, a sign. Like in The Alchemist, you know? You read that book, that I gave you?
SARAH: I haven't, but I really look forward to it.
PROFESSOR ROMANO: [In the back ground addressing the crowd.] Hello everybody
PROFESSOR ROMANO: Thank you for coming
SARAH: Um, I had such a nice time last time.
JIM: Yeah. It was--it's been a while since last time.
AMBER: [Clears her throat.]
SARAH: This is my daughter, Amber.
JIM: Oh, hey, nice to meet you. You know, I met your brother, briefly. No pun intended.
ADAM: What does that mean?
Jim and I went to High School together.
JIM: It was a long time ago.
SARAH: Long time ago. You look great.
JIM: Thank you.
SARAH: So, what are you doing here?
JIM: What do you mean what am I doing here? You don't know?
PROFESSOR ROMANO: [Louder] And without further ado, our guest of honor.
[Sarah is surprise, her jaw drops as Jim walks to the small stage and microphone.]
JIM: Thank you.
PROFESSOR ROMANO: You're welcome.
JIM: Professor. Thank you. Well, I have a feeling that tonight is gonna be a very, very special night.
AMBER: Oh, boy.
[New Scene - A short time later Jim is reading a poem, Sarah and Amber are at the back of the room listening.]
JIM: "The glowing, red embers of a flame that never burned."
[There is a short applause from the crowd.]
JIM: Thank you. Thank you. Uh, so I have a new one from, uh, another collection I'm putting together. Uh, the collection's gonna be called The one that got away... Twice. Although, after tonight, I might re-title it Three times the charm. [Sarah and Amber exchange looks.] This is called Orchid Blooming. Parched ground welcomes the storm. Moist, wet petals slowly open, beckoning the thunder, yearning, shuddering, electric, lightning. The pink orchid blooms.
SARAH: [Quietly to Amber] It's about flowers, right?
AMBER: I think it might be about your vag.
JIM: "...Is ready to spray its love."
[New Scene - Kristina with Ed, Lenny and Lauren are having drinks with Matt Fortunato.]
KRISTINA: Mm. That is damn good beer.
KRISTINA: Sure you don't want one?
ED: Well, uh, Assemblyman Fortunato...
MATT: Please. Matt.
ED: Well, you know why we're here. We want you to endorse Assemblywoman Bowser.
MATT: She's going up against some very powerful people. With long memories.
So let me ask you something. Why did you run?
MATT: What do you mean?
KRISTINA: The very first time that you ran for office, why'd you do it?
MATT: Well, I, I guess I wanted to make a difference.
KRISTINA: Mm-hmm. You ran because that refinery in Richmond was dumping hundreds of gallons of waste in the aquifer. Remember? See, I worked for the state water bureau at the time, and this man got that plant shut down alone. By himself. Completely.
MATT: That was a long time ago.
KRISTINA: Dude, I know. It was a while ago, dude. [Matt chuckles.] Anyway, here's the deal. Assemblywoman Bowser, she wants to make a difference too. You know, her opponents might twit and talk on
ED, LENNY & LAUREN: [Together.] Tweet.
LENNY: It's "tweet."
KRISTINA: T, whatever, that pollution is bad, but, you know, she actually has a plan to do something about it, a solid plan, starting with better regulation of waterways.
MATT: You know I like her, right?
KRISTINA: I do. I know that you like her. But... The thing is is she can't do it alone. See, we need your help.
[Matt smiles back.]
[New Scene - Crosby and Jasmine at a nice restaurant having dinner.]
CROSBY: You know, I've never really gotten the hang of this whole fork, spoon technique.
JASMINE: Ha. Well, there's a trick that I learned when I went to Italy. And that is order the Ravioli.
CROSBY: You went to Italy?
JASMINE: Mm-hmm. Just for a few weeks. Jabbar loved it. You should have heard him sing O Sole Mio with the gondolier. It was really cute.
CROSBY: Man, I wish I had. [There is a moment of silence broken by Crosby's phone ringing.] Ooh. Sorry. It's my sister. Hello.
JULIA: Hi. Um, I'm so sorry to bother you, but it's Jabbar
JABBAR: I want to go home.
he wants to go home.
CROSBY: Okay. He's okay, though, yeah? He's upset about something. He won't tell me what's happening, but he says it's an emergency.
CROSBY: Okay, we'll be right there.
JULIA: Okay, great. See you soon.
CROSBY: All right.
JASMINE: What happened?
CROSBY: Jabbar wants to go home. I think he's scared.
[They both laugh.]
JASMINE: Check please.
[New Scene - Haddie reading a book on the couch as Drew and Adam return home.]
ADAM: All right. Let's just drown our sorrows in some junk food and baseball. Should be able to catch those late innings.
HADDIE: Hey, how'd it go?
DREW: Well, I took your dad's advice about confidence. I went up, I asked her to dance, and she shot me down. Said she didn't want to, like, leave her friend, or something, when I asked her to dance.
HADDIE: Well, you know, maybe, um, her friend was jealous, or something. Like, maybe her friend liked you. I don't know. Sorry. Um... Okay, I'm gonna go.
ADAM: You can't go.
HADDIE: Um, Max is in bed and you're home.
ADAM: Yeah, well, Max could wake up, and I might have to leave on an emergency or something. You can't go. You have to stay here.
HADDIE: Are you seriously gonna keep me here because I'm wearing this stupid bra?
[Drew looks around.]
ADAM: Of course not. It's a bra, so... Yes, I am.
HADDIE: Okay. Well, you know what? If you don't want me to leave the house while I'm wearing this bra...
HADDIE: Then you don't have to worry about it.
ADAM: Haddie, what are you doing?
HADDIE: I'm trying to make you happy, dad.
Drew is trying his best not to look, but can't help it.]
HADDIE: If you don't want me to leave wearing this
HADDIE: Then I don't have to wear it. [She dumps the bra on the counter near Drew.]
HADDIE: You can rest easy, and I'll see you at 11:30.
ADAM: Haddie, get back in here right now.
HADDIE: What? We made a deal.
ADAM: Haddie, if you leave this hou
[The door closes. He exhales and turns back to Drew. Picking up the bra he tosses it out of sight.] Want a soda?
[New Scene - Back at Julia's house, Crosby knocks on the door.]
JULIA: Hi. Sorry to interrupt your date. I, I don't
CROSBY: [Laughing] Where is he?
JABBAR: Mommy, Crosby.
JASMINE: [picking him up.] Hey. What happened, buddy?
JABBAR: Can we go home now?
CROSBY: What happened?
CROSBY: [Whispering to Jabbar.] What's the matter?
JABBAR: I just really need to go home now.
CROSBY: Okay, um, is it something you need to do at home?
JABBAR: [whispering in Crosby's ear.] I need to go poop at home bad.
CROSBY: Okay. It's, he's, okay.
[New Scene - Outside Steve's house, Adam runs to the front door while Drew and Max wait in the car.]
ADAM: Hey, Max, stay in the back.
MAX: Nope! Too late.
ADAM: Drew, can you ask him to get in the back? Listen to Drew.
DREW: [To Max.] Just, come on.
[Adam knocks and the door opens.]
MARJORIE: Oh, hi, Adam.
ADAM: Hey, is, uh, is Haddie here, by any chance?
MARJORIE: Yeah, she's upstairs with Steve.
DALE: Yeah, is everything okay?
ADAM: Yeah, yeah. Uh, we just had a small emergency at home, and she has to, yeah.
DALE: Oh, anything we can do?
ADAM: No, no, thanks. You mind if I just, uh, just go get her?
ADAM: Where is she?
MARJORIE: Okay. Just upstairs.
ADAM: Upstairs? Is that where Steve's room is?
[Adam runs up the stairs, finds Steve's room and knocks.]
[But opens it, without waiting for a reply.]
STEVE: Hey Da
Hey, Adam, what's up?
ADAM: [Pointing to Steve.] Mr. Braverman.
HADDIE: What are you doing here?
ADAM: You are coming with me right now.
HADDIE: No, I'm not. [Standing her ground.]
ADAM: Yes, you are. Haddie.
HADDIE: Hmm? [Adam enters the room.][To Steven] Okay, I'm sorry.
ADAM: Right now. Come on.
STEVE: It's all good.
ADAM: You have everything?
STEVE: I'll see you later, Adam.
ADAM: Mr. Braverman.
ADAM: Get downstairs.
[New Scene - Outside the house.]
ADAM: Thank you.
DALE: Thanks for coming over.
ADAM: Okay. Thanks. Okay. All right.
HADDIE: What? Don't touch me. Don't talk to me.
DREW: Oh. Okay, go. Get in the back seat. Get in the back seat.
HADDIE: Don't talk to me.
[New Scene - Back at Julia's house, in the bathroom, Jabbar is sitting on the toilet.]
JABBAR: I don't think I can do this.
JASMINE: You can do it, honey.
CROSBY: Yeah, aunt Julia's is a great place to go. You just don't focus so much on the going. Maybe, um--ooh, let's sing a song. Jasmine, do you know a song?
JASMINE: I know a song. [Singing] The wheels on the bus, [Jabbar and Crosby join in.] go round and round round and round round and round the wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town and the doors on the bus go open and shut
CROSBY: [By himself] And the people bust out like crazy English soccer fans soccer fans.
JABBAR: [Laughing.] That's not how the song goes. [Looks down.] I did it.
CROSBY: Yeah, you did it. All right! [They high five each other.]
JASMINE: You did. Yeah. [High Five also.]
CROSBY: Good work. "English soccer fans.
[Crosby and Jasmine high five.]
JASMINE: There you go. Nice job.
CROSBY: Always works.
[New Scene - Sarah and Amber driving hone.]
SARAH: I can't get over it. Jim Kazinsky. He's a published author. He used to copy off me in 10th grade.
AMBER: That's cool. Writing a bunch of poems about a big loser getting laid by a hot lady.
SARAH: You know what? That's not nice. He's not a loser. He's, he's such a special guy. He might not be, you know, my soul mate, but he's... He's talented.
AMBER: I guess I was probably just grossed out that I had to hear, like, 15 billion poems about my mother's vagoozle.
SARAH: You know, it's not the point. The point is, this is a guy who read Dylan Thomas in High School and was inspired, and then followed his dream. And look at what he's achieved, you know? I mean, that's what I want for you, you know? That's why I brought you to this school. You, you just can't give up on yourself. I mean, that's living proof. You just can't, you can't give up on yourself.
[New Scene - Back at Julia's house.]
JASMINE: Are you sure you want to stay?
JABBAR: Yeah, we're in the middle of chutes and ladders tournament.
JASMINE: Okay. Give me hug.
CROSBY: Take no prisoners.
JABBAR: Come on.
JULIA: Okay. You will not hear from me again tonight.
JABBAR: Let's go!
JABBAR: Come on Julia.
JULIA: Okay. Okay!
[New Scene - Outside walking to the car.]
JASMINE: English soccer fans?
CROSBY: Yeah, well, you started it with the whole doors opening and shutting.
JASMINE: That's how the song goes.
CROSBY: That's not how the song goes.
JASMINE: Yes, it is.
CROSBY: For real?
JASMINE: For real.
CROSBY: Okay. Well, it inspired me.
JASMINE: [Opening the car doo.] Good. It inspired you. [Closes it without getting in.]
CROSBY: You inspired me.
JASMINE: I inspired you?
CROSBY: Big time.
JASMINE: Are you trying to use my poo song as a way to make your move?
CROSBY: Yeah. [Chuckles.] What do you think?
JASMINE: Um, I don't know. Well, you haven't really made a move yet. Can't tell you.
[They kiss in the street against her car.]
[New Scene - Haddie is in the kitchen making tea.]
ADAM: What the hell were you thinking?
HADDIE: Dad, what was I thinking? I mean, what, what were you thinking?
ADAM: I told you to stay at home, and you just took off.
HADDIE: Yeah, well, you were being totally unreasonable.
ADAM: Well, I don't care if I'm being unreasonable, Haddie. You're 15 years old and you live in my house, so you do what I say when I say it.
HADDIE: Really? I do whatever you say no matter what?
ADAM: Yes. No matter what.
HADDIE: Okay, so if you tell me to shave my head, I have to do it?
HADDIE: If you tell me to murder somebody, then I have to do it?
ADAM: Yes. Keep it coming. More, more, more!
HADDIE: Dad, if you tell me to burn this house down, then I have to do that?
ADAM: [Sarcastically.] Yeah, if I tell you to burn down the house, you have to burn down the house.
HADDIE: Dad! [She takes a deep breath.] Okay. Dad, mom told me that I could go to Steve's house. Then you told me that I had to stay home and watch Max for a little while. And I did.
HADDIE: But then you came home and told me that I couldn't go to Steve's house because you didn't like the kind of bra I was wearing.
ADAM: I admit that that was, uh... Inconsistent.
ADAM: I'm concerned about you, Haddie.
HADDIE: You are a hypocrite. You would totally let Drew hang out with his girlfriend. You would drive him to hang out with his girlfriend. But because I'm a girl, you treat me like I'm 12 years old.
ADAM: It's because you're my daughter. Okay? And you're not wrong. There is a double standard.
ADAM: And it's not fair.
ADAM: But then again, neither is the world.
HADDIE: Okay, well, that's ridiculous.
ADAM: That's the way it is.
[New Scene - Next morning, Crosby and Jasmine in bed on his house boat.]
JASMINE: [kissing.] Mm.
[They share a moment just looking at each other.]
CROSBY: Oh, man. It's 10:16.
JASMINE: Oh, so what?
CROSBY: Well, I told Julia that I'd pick Jabbar up at 10:30.
JASMINE: Well, just be a few minutes late.
CROSBY: We're talking about Julia here. You know, my crazy sister. She'll use this as a teachable moment. Probably hold Jabbar hostage until I learn to be punctual.
JASMINE: I probably shouldn't go with you, then, because Jabbar will wonder why we're still together.
CROSBY: Right. Okay. Um, good plan. I will go super fast, and then I will see you in a few minutes.
CROSBY: That was, um, really fun last night. I'll be back.
[New Scene - Julia's house.]
SYDNEY: [Sighs.] Fine. I did it. I broke the vase. Are you happy now?
JULIA: No, I'm not happy.
SYDNEY: You won, okay? You won.
JULIA: Sweetie, it's not about winning and losing. It's about being honest.
SYDNEY: You win. I lose. I'll go pick it up.
SYDNEY: Dad, where's the broom?
JULIA: All righty. Who was that person?
JOEL: I didn't recognize her at all. It's funny.
JULIA: What is that supposed to mean?
[Sydney drags the broom across the floor, Joel follows her.]
JULIA: Joel. What's that supposed to mean?
[New Scene - Braverman kitchen, Sarah is having her morning coffee, Amber enters.]
SARAH: No, no, I'm not falling for this. You drop the Berkeley college catalogue in front of me and you think I'm gonna get all excited, but then you're gonna break my heart when you tell me you decided not to apply, so I say... Whatever.
AMBER: Huh. So first of all, it's not really reverse psychology if you tell me what you're doing, and, second of all, it's not for me. It's for you.
SARAH: What are you talking about?
AMBER: I think you should apply to Berkeley.
AMBER: Well, why not? I mean, if Jim Kazinsky can get people all hot and bothered about his poetry, then anything is possible, right? Just don't give up on yourself either, okay?
[Sarah smiles as Amber leaves the room.]
[New Scene - Adam's bedroom, he's in bed reading about Asperger's.]
KRISTINA: Hi there. [She lays on the bed next to him.]
KRISTINA: Hey. What ya reading? I read that one.
ADAM: How's the, uh, adjustment back into family life treating you?
KRISTINA: It's good.
KRISTINA: Yup. I missed you.
ADAM: I missed you too.
KRISTINA: A lot.
KRISTINA: So, um...
KRISTINA: Denise wants me to come with her to L.A. next week for a couple of fundraisers.
ADAM: Oh. Okay.
ADAM: That's cool.
KRISTINA: She also offered me a full-time job as her communications director.
ADAM: Uh, congratulations. That's great.
KRISTINA: Thank you.
ADAM: Um, what'd you say?
KRISTINA: Well, I told her that I would think about it, and I would talk to you. First then
ADAM: So you want to do it?
KRISTINA: Kind of. I just, I don't know. I mean, honey, I, I love our kids, and I love you and I love being a mom.
KRISTINA: I love all of that. But, honestly, when I was there, I felt so, I felt so alive, and, and it was just amazing. It was like I was being seen for the first time in so long, you know?
ADAM: I get it. I get it. Okay? But I want you to know I see you.
KRISTINA: I know. I know you do. But you, you see me in a different way.
ADAM: I know. All right.
ADAM: So we'll figure this out.
ADAM: Yeah. Um, you know, I'll need some help here at the house.
ADAM: And I'll, uh, I'll call my mom. You know, I think that she'll be up for staying here a couple nights a week. You know, I need to get somebody on the hook to make sure Max makes it to all his therapies and Haddie gets to all her sporting events, but, um, you know, and I can also come home from work early once or twice a week, and I can start to, you know, work more from home in the morning. We'll work it out. Get some groceries delivered. Figure it out.
KRISTINA: Yeah. No, you know
KRISTINA: Honey, um, this isn't the right time. I, I'm not gonna do it.
KRISTINA: This isn't the right time. Max and Haddie need me here. I don't know what I was thinking.
KRISTINA: No, no.
ADAM: I don't want you to look back on this and feel like you missed out on something.
KRISTINA: I won't, I won't. Uh, this is a no-brainer, you know? I mean, there'll be other campaigns, and our kids are only gonna be kids for so long. And I can do it later.
ADAM: Are you sure?
KRISTINA: Yes, I'm sure.
ADAM: All right. Why don't you tell me about this meeting?
KRISTINA: Um, it was awesome. It was so cool. I mean, you would have been so proud of me. I, um... I was awesome. I was awesome. You should have seen me. I was just, I was in my element
[Kristina keeps talking as the music rises and the scene ends.]
1.09 - Perchance to Dream
Original Airdate (NBC) April 27, 2010
Written by Becky Hartman-Edwards
Directed by Lawrence Trilling
Transcribed by Craig Best
Original subtitles from www.addic7ed.com
Please Don't Use Without Permission!
This is a transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, some settings have been added where needed along with actions and/or camera movements where I felt they were necessary. "PARENTHOOD" and other related entities are owned, their respective companies and no copyright infringement is intended..
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