1.08 - Rubber Band Ball
Transcript by Craig Best

[Opening scene - Sydney's class room. It's empty, Julia and Joel are having a meeting with her teacher. Julia is handed a rubber band ball.]


MS. WU: She bounces the ball behind my back during storytime.

JOEL: That's not good.

MS. WU: She disrupts the class. Uses the ball to draw attention to herself.

JULIA: I'm surprise.

JOEL: Huh.

MS. WU: I was too. She's obsessed with this ball. I'm pretty sure she took a box of rubber bands out of my desk drawer.

JULIA: [Starting to sound like a lawyer] When would she have been able to do that?

MS. WU: I don't know?

JULIA: Is she ever left in the room alone?

MS. WU: Not that I know of.

JULIA: Then you don't have any evidence that she could, do that.

MS. WU: No, I'm not certain. I was gonna let it run it's course but when it became a danger.

JULIA: Wait. You mean a danger. Uh, what do you mean?

MS. WU: She hit little Jayden Krantz in the head with that ball.

JOEL: Oh... Is he okay?

JULIA: On purpose?

MS. WU: He is okay. And I don't think she did it on purpose. [Julia start tossing the ball in the air with one hand.] She may have been aiming at me. [Ms. Wu watches the ball wile Julia smiles.] So you can see why I had to take the ball away and call you in.

JOEL: [Stopping Julia.] Sure. We will take care of this. Thank you so much.

JULIA: [Holding up the ball.] I can take this, right?

MS. WU: Sure.

[New Scene - Adam's office, Zeek is there for lunch at his desk.]

ZEEK: My doctor says, 'You can't have a garlic knot.' I mean...

ADAM: Really?

ZEEK: From Mama Lucia's?

ADAM: [To someone else in the office.] Your. No, not right now, thank you.

ZEEK: Whoo. Is she new?

ADAM: You've met Jenny before.

ZEEK: Oh, is she Gordon's assistant? Hey, where's Gordon?

ADAM: Look, if the doctor's telling you not to have garlic knots, don't have the garlic knots.

ZEEK: Okay, I won't. [As he starts eating one.]

ADAM: All right, just take care of yourself, would you? What do you want to talk about?

ZEEK: There's this investment property that I want you to see.

ADAM: Uh-huh.

ZEEK: And in this climate, it'd be an incredible opportunity. Before I do anything with it, I want to get your opinion.

ADAM: My opinion? Why?

ZEEK: Because you have real estate slash business acumen, son.

ADAM: Acumen?

ZEEK: Yeah. We'd have to drive there, stay overnight.

ADAM: Come on, dad. I don't have time to go stay overnight somewhere. Where is this place?

ZEEK: It'd be like father and son time, you know. We could get a chance to talk, Adam. We don't have enough of that.

ADAM: I'll call Kristina. I'll just make sure it's clear with her, okay?

ZEEK: That's all I wanted to hear.

ADAM: All right.

ZEEK: All right. You're not gonna be sorry.

ADAM: All right.

ZEEK: You want some garlic knots?

ADAM: Why don't I take those from you?

ZEEK: No. I'll have as many garlic knots as I want.

[New Scene - Crosby working on his Motorcycle at Adam's house.

CROSBY: Your real estate acumen? He used the word "Acumen"?

ADAM: Yup.

CROSBY: That's worrisome.

ADAM: Yeah, I was wondering if he wanted me to go in on a piece of, I don't know, vacation real estate with him or something. Then he tried to sell it to me as father and son time.

CROSBY: Yikes. Hey, speaking of which, I brought something over I want you to look at.

ADAM: Yeah, what's that? [Crosby hands him an invitation.] That's great. What about it?

CROSBY: That's great?

ADAM: Yeah.

CROSBY: You don't think it's weird to receive an invitation To your son's birthday party in the mail?

ADAM: You're lucky you got invited at all.

CROSBY: Hey, whose side are you on?

ADAM: There are no sides here. You just got to pay attention to your kid.

CROSBY: Yeah, listen, I've been spending a lot of time with Jabbar, okay? He knows me pretty well now, and he's smart, so if I don't plan this party, he's gonna sense that.

ADAM: Great chair.

CROSBY: You like this?

ADAM: Yeah, high quality. Look, if you want to be there, just, you know, give Jasmine a call and tell her you want to be a part of it.

CROSBY: She's just sending a lot of mixed messages. It's, like, half the time she wants me to be the dad, and then the other half, she's keeping me on the outside. I just wish she would pick a path and stick to it.

ADAM: Well, then you should go. You should call Jasmine and say you want in. Except you shouldn't use those words.

CROSBY: I don't get it. Is there a sexual joke in there?

ADAM: [Laughs]

[New Scene - Bathroom of the Braverman house.]

SARAH: [Knocks on the door.] Amber, I'm coming in.

AMBER: Mom, can you just give me a minute? I'm showering.

SARAH: Yes. Can you give me a minute? I'm just brushing my teeth. Hey, do you have the toothpaste in there?

AMBER: No, no, no.

SARAH: [Opens the shower curtain.] Oh, my God!

DAMIEN: Hey, Mrs. Bra, it's just me.

SARAH: [Pointing to Amber.] No, you're dead. [Pointing to Damien.] Get out! No, not now. [Throws him a towel.] Later.

[Sarah runs screaming from the bathroom.]

AMBER: We're screwed.

[Opening Credits - featuring “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan]

[New Scene - Sarah watches from Amber bedroom window as Damien runs from the house still dressing himself.]

SARAH: Ah! You have got to be kidding me.

ZEEK: Excuse me, but who the hell is that running out of my house? [Seeing Amber in her dressing gown.] Amber! [He adverts his eyes.]

AMBER: Jeez.

SARAH: Dad, it's Amber's boy, ex-boyfriend from Fresno. Don't, don't worry about it.

AMBER: I can't get any privacy. Why are you being such a tattletale?

ZEEK: Wait. Damien, the demon seed?

AMBER: Why is everybody yelling at me?

ZEEK: We got to set some boundaries, Amber.

AMBER: Calm down, grandpa.

ZEEK: I'm not yelling at ya.

AMBER: Yes, you are.

SARAH: It's okay.

ZEEK: It's my house!

SARAH: All right, I'll take care of it, dad. [Closes the door and takes a moment she exhales.] I know you're mad at me.

AMBER: What do you mean? I'm not mad at you.

SARAH: You're mad at me because of Mr. Cyr. Because of dating your teacher.

AMBER: Please, it has nothing to do with that.

SARAH: And I know you're still mad, and I'm sorry.

AMBER: It's fine. I don't care.

SARAH: I'm sorry I went out with your teacher.

AMBER: It's fine.

SARAH: We left Fresno, you know, so you could have a better life. And I pulled you away from a lot of things, but he was one of 'em. And then, to have him here in the shower, I mean, Amber, come on. Don't screw everything up for yourself just because you're mad at me.

AMBER: This doesn't have anything to do with you. Not everything I do is about you. I love him, and he loves me, okay?

SARAH: Oh, God.

AMBER: What?

SARAH: Why do you insist on making every mistake I made?

AMBER: You know, every time you talk about your life being a mistake, all I hear is that my whole existence is a mistake and you...

SARAH: Oh, no. Oh, no, no.

AMBER: I don't want to talk to you right now.

SARAH: Honey, I don't want to leave you so upset.

AMBER: Please leave me alone, okay? Please? I don't want to talk to you.

SARAH: Okay, okay, okay. I'm really sorry.

AMBER: It's fine, mom! Please, just leave me alone.

SARAH: Okay. I'll come back.

[New Scene - Breakfast with Julia and Joel]

SYDNEY: Don't take any rubber bands off, please!

JOEL: Wait, wait, whoa. Why?

SYDNEY: Well, because I've got 'em all counted up. 18 blue, 53 reds, 118 brown. There's too many brown. And I don't want the brown rubber bands to take over. I want my ball.

JOEL: Okay.

SYDNEY: I want my ball!

JOEL: All right, you know what? Let's go upstairs. We're gonna finish getting ready, and we will talk more about this in the morning.

SYDNEY: I want my ball.

JOEL: No. No. Hey, hey.

SYDNEY: I want my ball!

JULIA: Sweetheart, the ball is staying right here, okay?

SYDNEY: Please, I want my ball.

JULIA: No. We will not touch it. I promise you.

We're not gonna change it. Okay? I promise. Now get upstairs.

[New Scene - Outside the Braverman house, Zeek walks up to a van playing music loudly and knocks on the window. Holding up a sock, he opens the door and sits down in the passenger seat.]

ZEEK: [Loudly] Turn it down! [Damien turns off the music.] You know who I am?

DAMIEN: I'm sorry. Your Amber's grandfather, the um, Vietnam vet.

ZEEK: Well, Damien, gee, I'm just sure you're a nice guy, and everything, but you left your sock in my house when you took my granddaughter's innocence. [Tossing it to him.] Here's your sock. I'm gonna give you a 20, and I want you to fill up your tank, and I want you to clear out of here. And I'm asking you nicely.

DAMIEN: What about Amber?

ZEEK: Damien, if this van is within a five-mile radius of my house, I'll know it. 'cause I can smell it. And then you and I are gonna have a visit, and I'm gonna spend some quiet time with you. Do I make myself clear?

DAMIEN: Sir, I just want to let you know that I consider myself a student of philosophy. Live and let live, I mean no harm to anyone.

ZEEK: I am an irrational hardass with rage issues. Don't piss me off.

[Zeek gets out of the van and waves Damien off.]

[New Scene - Night time, Julia visiting Kristina.]

KRISTINA: Come in, come in.

JULIA: Thanks.

KRISTINA: What's happening?

JULIA: Oh, um...

KRISTINA: Good to see you.

JULIA: Just, [They hug.] Yeah.

KRISTINA: I was gonna make some tea. Do you want some?

JULIA: Sure.

KRISTINA: Chamomile or orange pekoe or green?

JULIA: Whatever. Perfect.

KRISTINA: Whatever? Okay.

JULIA: Hi, Max.

KRISTINA: Max, buddy, aunt Julia just said hi to you.

MAX: Oh, did you know that pill bugs and sow bugs are often mistakenly thought of as insects, but they're actually classified in the group called isopods...

KRISTINA: He got a new book on roly-polies today.

KRISTINA: Hey, buddy, honey, Aunt Julia's probably not in the… Honey. [To Julia.] So Adam is not here. He's at the office. Um...

JULIA: That's fine. I actually wanted to talk to you.

KRISTINA: What's going on?

JULIA: This is gonna sound stupid.


JULIA: It has to do with this ball. Sydney's obsessed with it, and basically I just wanted to ask you if you could tell me about, you know, some of the first signs that you saw with Max.

KRISTINA: Um, why don't you have a seat?

JULIA: Okay.

KRISTINA: And I will be right back. I'm just gonna try to rally him to get upstairs.

MAX: What were you guys talking about?

KRISTINA: Nothing, babe. [To Julia] Have a seat.

JULIA: Thanks.

KRISTINA: Can you do mommy a favor? I need to talk to Aunt Julia about something. [Max shakes his head.] Honey, please, I just want to talk To aunt Julia for a little bit, okay? Thank you.

MAX: Come up soon so I can get my stickers.

KRISTINA: I will. I promise. Thank you. [To Julia.] Okay. Um, I am 100% sure that you have nothing to worry about at all.

JULIA: How can you be sure about that?

KRISTINA: Well, I'm not sure, but I don't really understand. I mean...

JULIA: [Holding the rubber band ball.] Okay, she counted the number of rubber bands. She knows how many of each color there are. And she's so utterly fixated on it that she can't make eye contact anymore if you talk to her.

KRISTINA: Okay. You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you Dr. Pelikan's number. He's our doctor, that we use for Max.

JULIA: Uh-ha.

KRISTINA: He's amazing. And he'll be able to tell you if anything's going on, which I really don't think that there is anything wrong. I really don't.

KRISTINA: Okay. I just wouldn't worry about it.

JULIA: Yeah, I'm, I'm, you know...

KRISTINA: Oh, Julia.

JULIA: I'll be fine.

KRISTINA: It's okay.

JULIA: Oh, so stupid. I'm sorry.

KRISTINA: It's not stupid at all. It's not.

[New Scene - Later that night, Adam and Kristina's bedroom]

KRISTINA: I'm a horrible person, honey.

ADAM: Why?

KRISTINA: Because when Julia told me there might be something wrong with Sydney, part of me felt glad and happy and, like…

ADAM: A big part?

KRISTINA: Like I couldn't stop myself. It was weird. It was like this feeling just came over me…

ADAM: Well, I think that's human, and I don't think that's horrible.

KRISTINA: What would be so wrong with having somebody else in the family like Max?

ADAM: Well, it doesn't feel fair.

KRISTINA: Exactly. And he would be less isolated.

ADAM: We'd be less isolated.

KRISTINA: You're horrible too. You are, you're horrible too. You were thinking it.

ADAM: I'm not horrible.

KRISTINA: You're the horriblest and those jeans are just terrible.

ADAM: Why do you think my dad thinks I have real estate acumen?

KRISTINA: These are horrible jeans…

ADAM: I think he's up to something.

KRISTINA: Take these instead. You should have seen your sister's face, though. She was totally freaked out. Look at Sydney compared to Max. There's no way that these kids have the same thing.

ADAM: Maybe she has A.D.D.

KRISTINA: Yeah, or O.T.B.

ADAM: Off-track betting?


ADAM: Yeah, there you go.

KRISTINA: Whatever it's called. I don't know. I did do one good thing.

ADAM: What's that?

KRISTINA: I didn't tell her about Max's rubber band ball.

ADAM: Well, see, you're not horrible.


ADAM: You're a sweetie.

KRISTINA: I am sweet.

ADAM: [The tap their fists together.] Kaboom.


ADAM: Let's try that again. Kaboom! All right.

KRISTINA: Okay, I feel better. Thank you.

ADAM: You're welcome. Now you could make me feel better.

KRISTINA: I'll get you the lotion.

ADAM: All right.

KRISTINA: Right back. Lotion rub. [She closes the bathroom door.]

[New Scene - Party shop, Crosby and Jasmine.]

CROSBY: Ooh, Batman. What do you think?

JASMINE: We did Batman two years ago.

CROSBY: Does he like G.I. Joe?

JASMINE: His friend had a G.I. Joe party last month.

CROSBY: Well, I know he likes Spongebob.

JASMINE: He loves Spongebob. We did that last year.

CROSBY: Maybe I should have asked for the list of things that you've already done.

JASMINE: You wanted to come here. It was your idea.

CROSBY: Well, he's my kid. I want to plan his party. I want to be a part of this.

JASMINE: How about this? Baseball. Think it'd be cute?

CROSBY: Yeah, okay.


CROSBY: Yeah, Bravermans love baseball.




CROSBY: Thank you.

JULIA: Paper plates and utensils. About a dozen.

CROSBY: Okay, wait, a dozen? That's not even gonna cover my family. Wait a minute. Are you saying my family's not invited?

JASMINE: You've seen my apartment. It's tiny.

CROSBY: Yeah, well, they're his family too.

JASMINE: Okay, so how about you invite four from your family?

CROSBY: I'll just, like survivor. I'll just pick four. All right, how many people from your family are going?

JASMINE: I don't know.

CROSBY: Whoa, whoa. What do you mean, you don't know?

JASMINE: I don't know. Like, 10, maybe 15.

CROSBY: Oh, just 10 or 15. Fine. Just, will you promise me that we're gonna have an A's theme party and not a Giants?



JASMINE: Step aside.

CROSBY: Oh, you, you don't, oh. This is gonna get ugly.

[New Scene - Doctor

DR. PELIKAN: Sydney is a great kid. She is playful.


DR. PELIKAN: And cooperative.

JOEL: Thank you.

JULIA: What's wrong with her? Is something wrong with her?

JOEL: Julia, just...

DR. PELIKAN: I wouldn't say wrong. She doesn't test in the normal range. [There is a pause as Joel and Julia brace themselves for the news.] Sydney is gifted.

JULIA: I'm sorry. What?

JOEL: She's…

DR. PELIKAN: She tests way above average intelligence for her age. Her issues in school are probably coming from boredom. So you have to make sure that she's in an environment where she is being challenged. Something that you'll have to monitor over time, and something that, as parents, you have to be aware of, pay close attention to.

JOEL: I think we can do that.


[New Scene - Road tip with Zeek and Adam.]

ZEEK: We're driving in the slowest lane. What are we doing, about 30?

ADAM: Hey, I'm driving.

ZEEK: Not very well. You're driving in the slowest lane. Do you remember the trip to the grand canyon?

ADAM: Yeah. It was a good time.

ZEEK: Yeah. Remember, you vomited all over your mother's head?

ADAM: You know what, dad, that wasn't me. That was Crosby.

ZEEK: All right. Well, go ahead and deny it. Blah! You know, I had a little confrontation with the kid, and maybe I was a little hard on him. I'm not sure. Scared the hell out of him.

ADAM: All right.

ZEEK: Do you think they caught The zodiac killer? Move over. We got a lane open.

ADAM: You know what, dad, dad, dad.

ZEEK: How's the sex life?

ADAM: My sex life is fine. Why?

ZEEK: That's not what I'm hearing.

ADAM: You learned to have sex in Vietnam?

ADAM: Yeah, basically. Well, I was a kid, you know? I mean, gosh, those girls could teach you so much, you know. Just, I was ready to learn. She's not having orgasms? So you were okay? It was all Kristina's fault? 'cause the Bravermans, you know, the Braverman men, You know what I'm saying.

ADAM: Look.

ZEEK: We're strong in the sexual department, son. Is this embarrassing to you?

ADAM: Yeah. Yeah, it is a little bit.

ZEEK: I'm gonna tickle you.

ADAM: Get off. Is this why you wanted to come out here and take this drive? Because you wanted to talk about this?

ZEEK: No, there's something I want to show you but...

ADAM: Do you want to tell me what it is you're gonna show me?

ZEEK: No, I don't. I want to keep it as a surprise. It's gonna be very exciting. Now I got to pee. How about a rest stop?

ADAM: What are you, five years old?

ZEEK: How do you unscrew this thing?

ADAM: Don't pee in the cup. I'll pull over up here.

[New Scene - Braverman house, back yard. Damien is using the hose to wash, hidden by some bushes. Sarah comes out but doesn't see him.]

SARAH: Hello? Who's there?

DAMIEN: Hey, miss Braverman.

SARAH: What are you doing here? Are you kidding me? If my father sees you...

DAMIEN: He hinted that I should wash up, but then I saw these plants that needed attention.

SARAH: Damien, listen, you seem like a, you know, an okay guy, but Amber's from a broken home. Do you know what that means? She doesn't know a serious relationship From a sandwich yet, and the point is I want her to focus on herself, on her future, school, maybe even college.


SARAH: There's an old expression. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours. If they don't, they never were. You know what I mean?

DAMIEN: It's not that easy.

SARAH: You're right. It isn't that easy. But it would really help her out. Just for now, you know.

[New Scene - Julia and Joel's house.]

JULIA: [Seeing Kristina approaching through the window.] Oh. Oh, boy. I got this.

JOEL: You got this.

JULIA: Okay.

JOEL: Okay.

JULIA: I got this.

JOEL: I believe in you.

[Joel waits out of sight around the corner.]

JULIA: Okay. [Opens the door as Kristina knocks.]


JULIA: Kristina.

KRISTINA: How are you?

JULIA: I'm good. How are you?

KRISTINA: Um, I only have a minute. Can I come in?

JULIA: Oh, please.

KRISTINA: Okay, great. [They hug.] How you doing today?

JULIA: I'm good.


JULIA: Yeah, thank you. We're good. We're good.

KRISTINA: Um I just wanted to stop by and drop off a couple of books for you.


KRISTINA: They were a real comfort to Adam and me. And I also wanted to tell you the other day when you stopped by, I don't think that I fully expressed to you how I feel about you and Sydney and your family. And I just, I want you to know that you're with us in our hearts.

JULIA: Thank you so much. We love you too, and, no, I knew that.

KRISTINA: If you need any..

JULIA: Yeah, Kristina...


JULIA: Um, you know... We, um, as soon as we hear anything...

KRISTINA: You'll call me.

JULIA: I will call you.


JULIA: Exactly. Thank you.

KRISTINA: We don't know yet, so...

JULIA: Yeah. We'll see. Okay.

KRISTINA: Okay. [They hug again.] I gotta run.

JULIA: Okay, great.

KRISTINA: You have a good day.

JULIA: Okay, thanks. You too.



KRISTINA: Bye. [She exits.] I'll call you later.

JULIA: Okay. [Kristina closes the door. Joel looks at Julia.] What.

JOEL: You were so strong. I thought she took that rather well.

[New Scene - Braverman house, Camille is painting in the back yard.]

SARAH: She just went out with Damien and didn't even bother to lie about it.

CAMILLE: That's good, right?

SARAH: No, it's not good. In this context, it shows a complete lack of respect.

CAMILLE: Sweetie, you can't live their life for them. You know?

SARAH: Yeah.

CAMILLE: Really. The best you can do is help them avoid making some of the mistakes you made. That's about it.

SARAH: I failed at that already.

CAMILLE: You haven't.

SARAH: Why didn't I just let dad kill him? I'm out here quoting Jonathan Livingston seagull Like an idiot.

CAMILLE: You were obsessed with that book. And Amber liked it too, didn't she?

SARAH: Why does she hate me, mom?

CAMILLE: Daughters hate their mothers. I think it's a law of nature. But you know what? Then they come back… [Brief pause as she sits next to her daughter.] Sarah... You're my best one. Maybe not my best one, but you're the one that I... Most identify with.

SARAH: Not perfect Adam?

CAMILLE: No. You're the brave one. You take risks. You always took a chance. You declared your independence pretty early on, and you went for it. You have to honor that person, that you are. 'cause I do. I mean, maybe I never said it in, you know, those exact words before, but... [Sarah is about to cry.] Sweetie, it's gonna be okay. [Sarah slumps her hard on the table.] Oh, sweetie. I promise.

[New Scene - Adam and Zeek at a half finished building site.]

ADAM: Think about this. If you buy it, how long are you gonna have to hang on to it before it pays off?

ZEEK: Well, that's the great thing, son, is I already own it.

ADAM: Well, then what do you need me for?

ZEEK: Well, look, before I do anything else with it, I was thinking what a great opportunity this would be for you, you know, for your company, right? A new manufactory and a factory, you know, that sort of thing. And I was thinking that your company Could buy it from me for a price...


ZEEK: Adam, when it comes back, this place is gonna be untouchable. It's gonna be a great investment opportunity. Who the hell, you know, wants to build a factory in Thailand or Mexico? I mean, come on. You got the savings right here. Plus, you can hire American workers. Now you're into that, right?

ADAM: Yeah, definitely. Well, who owns the rest of the complex?

ZEEK: Office park.

ADAM: Sorry.

ZEEK: Other entities. I mean, some of it's in foreclosure. That's why the construction is stalled…

ADAM: Right.

ZEEK: But I mean, come on, it's still got, still got plenty of advantages. Hey, you still got that the camera thing on your phone?

ADAM: Yeah.

ZEEK: Well, okay, come on. Why don't you take some pictures,

ADAM: Alright, okay. [Starts taking photos.]

ZEEK: And ah, right over here, you can take 'em back to the office and discuss it amongst yourselves and all of that, right?

ADAM: Alright, okay.

ZEEK: I mean, Adam, son, you're looking at some raw space.

ADAM: Definitely raw space.

ZEEK: All right? You get it?

ADAM: Yup.

[New Scene - Jasmines apartment, Crosby is helping decorate.]

JASMINE: Oh, whoa, that goes right on this wall here.

CROSBY: I thought you said put it here.

JASMINE: So? I want that here.

CROSBY: So you just want to have two things hanging here and then nothing over there?


CROSBY: That's how your family does it?

JASMINE: How my fam, wait, what are you, the party expert now? How many parties have you thrown?

CROSBY: Yeah, whose fault is that?

JASMINE: We are not gonna go there right now.

CROSBY: No, we're doing this right now.

JASMINE: No, we're not gonna do this right now.

CROSBY: Listen to me. You robbed me of five years of my son's life. What gave you the right to do that? I'm decorating, and I'm seeing pictures of him All over the place, and that's all I'm ever gonna see of him at this age.

JASMINE: That's right. Well, you should have called me back because I called you three times, four times, and you never called me back. What was I supposed to do?

CROSBY: You know, leave me a-

JASMINE: leave a message on your answering machine? "Hey, Crosby, it's Jasmine. I'm pregnant. Call me back."

CROSBY: Yeah, anything would have been better than what you did.

JASMINE: You know what, after the third call, I realized I didn't want you to call back. I had this big, serious thing to do. Have a baby and raise that baby, and what I didn't need was some flaky guy in the picture.

CROSBY: Hey, it's my son. You don't get to just make those decisions.

JASMINE: What do you mean I don't get, that's my son too. I gave birth to him, okay? All of a sudden, now you want to play daddy? What kind of father takes his son on a play date and leaves them with a stranger in a pool?

CROSBY: It's not a stranger. It was a lifeguard.


CROSBY: This is his party. I'm his dad. My family is his family. I want his cousins and his Aunts and his Uncles here. They have a right to be here. Hey. I'm talking to you.

JASMINE: Okay. Um... You, you need to know that, um, my family Isn't exactly inclined towards you.

CROSBY: What does that mean?

JASMINE: Well, my father abandoned us, and they think you're. You did just, like, the same thing.

CROSBY: Yeah, I didn't know that I had a kid. How is that similar?

JASMINE: They don't know that.

CROSBY: Wait, they think that I knew about Jabbar and that I just blew him off?

JASMINE: It didn't seem to matter. I didn't think you'd ever be back in his life again.


JASMINE: I'm sorry. Just invite everyone. Have 'em all come. We'll manage.

CROSBY: I have to admit I like when you screw up, kinda. It makes me feel like we're a little bit more...

JASMINE: Ha… Okay.

[New Scene - Motel Reception.]

ZEEK: No, no, hey, hold up. What are you doing? This is on me.

ADAM: Dad, I can pay for my own room. Two rooms? Come on. That's crazy.

ADAM: [To the receptionist.] Uh, two double beds?

ZEEK: [Also to the receptionist, with a smile.] You have lovely eyes, by the way.

MANISHA: Thank you.

ZEEK: What's your name?

MANISHA: Manisha.

ZEEK: Manisha. [To Adam] Can you say that?

[New Scene - Short time later in the room.]

ZEEK: [Exiting the bathroom brushing his teeth.] Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Ice Road Truckers. Come on.

ADAM: Hey, dad, can we just pause with the TV for a second? I just want you to tell me what's going on.

ZEEK: What do you mean?

ADAM: With this property. You know, that place, it's not a great investment. I wish I thought it was. And you're a great salesman, but I don't think you believe it is either.

ZEEK: Long-term it is.

ADAM: All right, well, then, hold on to it.

ZEEK: I can't, Sonny.

ADAM: Why not?

ZEEK: You're my firstborn son. I never wanted to go to you for anything. I give to you. Especially now, I mean, with Max.

ADAM: How bad is it?

ZEEK: It's bad. I saw this opportunity. I mean, how the hell was I supposed to know there was gonna be a bubble? I had to take a second out on the house So I could grab it, and then all hell broke loose.

ADAM: Pops.

ZEEK: Well, I mean, the country's in the toilet. It's not just me.

ADAM: Yeah, I know. I know. Look, you have great instincts. It's just--like you said, it's just timing like you said. You know?

ZEEK: Yeah.

ADAM: Bad timing.

ZEEK: Okay, now, look it. Now listen here. Do you think there's any chance at all with your company?

ADAM: Dad, I said I will talk to them. I will talk to them.

ZEEK: And you show 'em the pictures, and you tell 'em that it's...

ADAM & ZEEK: [Together] Raw space.

ADAM: I got it. Raw space. That's all I can do… What does this mean? Does this mean you might lose the house? I mean, do you need to talk to my accountant?

ZEEK: I have an accountant, Adam.

ADAM: I'm just trying to help.

ZEEK: Yeah, I know. It's serious. I mean, would we be here if it wasn't serious? Come on. Serious.

ADAM: Does anybody else know about this? Have you told mom?

ZEEK: Oh, I can't tell her this.

ADAM: You have to tell, you can't keep this from her. Look, I will talk to Gordon. Okay?

ZEEK: Yeah.

ADAM: But you have to tell mom.

ZEEK: Okay.

[New Scene - Jabbar's birthday party.]

JABBAR: Want to see my room?

KID: Okay.

CROSBY: [Trying to be cheerful but getting the cold shoulder.] Sandwich? Would you like a sandwich? No? Sandwich? No? Watching your figure?

JASMINE: Hey, Crosby. I'd like you to meet some people. This is my brother Sekou.

CROSBY: Oh, great. [He puts his hand out to shank, but Sekou is not interested.]

JASMINE: And this is my, my mother Renee.



JASMINE: Mom, this is Crosby.

CROSBY: So nice to meet you.

RENEE: Well, so nice to meet you, Crosby. [The shake hands.] Sheila, could you help me?

CROSBY: Yeah, um...

[The door bell rings.]



CROSBY: [Jokingly.] Who are all these white people?

KRISTINA: The Cirque du Soleil? We did see one of those, but…

CROSBY: It's a houseboat. There's actually a bedroom and a living room, and a kitchen. It's pretty comfortable.

RENEE: Well, that's an interesting choice.

CAMILLE: Sekou. That's a beautiful name.

SEKOU: Thank you.

CAMILLE: You named him after Sekou Tarunga, The African independence leader, I assume.

RENEE: Now how did you know that?

CAMILLE: Berkeley in the '60s, babe.

RENEE: Oh, I hear that.

SEKOU: You know what, I'm sorry, this is weird. I know you're trying and all that stuff, but where have you been, dude?

CROSBY: Um, I wish I had been here.

SEKOU: Yeah, that's your loss.

CROSBY: Yeah. No one knows that more than me. You know, I'm just glad I get to be in his life now and hopefully be a role model.

SEKOU: He has a role model, Crosby. I've been here since the day he was born.


SEKOU: No, I'm just telling him how it was. I drove him back from the hospital. I stood at his christening. Huh? Look, I moved apartments just to be closer to him.

RENEE: I'm gonna go get the cake. Sekou, would you help me?

SEKOU: No, I'm telling him how it was, mom.

RENEE: I need…

ZEEK: I would like to say something if I may.

ADAM: Dad.


ADAM: Really.

JULIA: Are there any more of those little corn muffins?

ZEEK: You seem to have a wonderful family. I've met you, and I like you all, but why are you treating my son like he's a pariah? The only reason I can think of is because he's white.


MAX: Grandpa, no one…

SARAH: We think he has Tourette's.

ADAM: He didn't mean that the way that it sounds.

SEKOU: Stating the obvious.

RENEE: You know, maybe it's because he's irresponsible.

ZEEK: Renee, that is not my understanding.

RENEE: Well, there's a five-year-old little boy here that he hasn't seen for five years.

JASMINE: Um, Zeek, I think I understand what you're trying to say. Everyone here is upset with Crosby because they feel that he abandoned Jabbar and me. But he didn't.

SEKOU: What?

JASMINE: I never told him about his son.

RENEE: You what?

JASMINE: Uh, it was just, um, easier for me to lie to all of you and let you believe that he was just like dad.

RENEE: Easier for who, you or Jabbar?

JASMINE: Look, um, you know, I was the one that chose to have this baby and not let his father know. It was me. It was me. And I'm sorry. But if you're gonna be mad at anyone, just be mad at me. Don't be mad at him.

JABBAR: [Running in from the other room.] Is it time for cake?

CROSBY: Oh, buddy, is it ever. Yeah, let's eat cake now.

RENEE: Maybe grandpa Zeek can help us cut the cake.

ZEEK: I'm on top of it, Renee, I must say.

[They cut the cake with Jabbar the centre of attention as he blows out the candles.]

[New Scene - Braverman kitchen, later that night.]

CAMILLE: Is this too much mayonnaise still?


CAMILLE: Never too much.

ZEEK: Excuse me, by the way, why wasn't Amber there today?

SARAH: Um, she...

CAMILLE: She was studying.

ZEEK: Oh, well, I think she should have been there.

SARAH: Sorry. Yeah.

ADAM: Did you talk to mom yet?

ZEEK: Hey, Sonny, I told you I would talk to her.

ADAM: Okay.

JULIA: Kristina.


JULIA: Um, I'm returning this. I read it three times.

KRISTINA: You did?

JULIA: I did. I did.

KRISTINA: Was it helpful?

JULIA: Yeah.

KRISTINA: It's helpful, right?

JULIA: I had no idea what you guys were facing.


JULIA: I wanted you to know also just, Joel and I both, we were so moved by the way that you reached out, and thank you for that, so...

KRISTINA: Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me? You would do the same. It's fine.

JULIA: Yeah. Thank you.

KRISTINA: How is Sydney? Is she good?

JULIA: She's good, yeah. We um, we got the test results, and he said that her trouble's stemming from boredom in school and she tested gifted.

KRISTINA: Oh, gifted. That's great. That's, what am I, that's really great. That's amazing.

JULIA: Yeah. I was embarrassed to tell you that.

KRISTINA: Julia, no.

JULIA: I'm sorry.

KRISTINA: That is amazing.

JULIA: Thanks.

KRISTINA: That's wonderful. I'm happy for you and her.

JULIA: That's great.

[Amber enters the room.]

AMBER: [To the room.] Hey, I'm going out. So I'll see you later, okay? Good night.

SARAH: Bye, honey.

[Sarah and Camille share a look before she follows her to the next room.]



SARAH: We missed ya, at the party.

AMBER: How was it?

SARAH: It was fun. It was good. I saved you a piece of cake.

AMBER: That's nice. Thanks. I'll have it when I get back.

SARAH: Oh, no, take it with you. It's a paper plate.

AMBER: That's okay. I'll have it when I get back.

SARAH: Why won't you take the cake?

AMBER: I don't want to take the cake.

SARAH: [Sighs] I'm done trying to control you. I… it doesn't work.

AMBER: You know, I'm fine.

SARAH: Are you? Sometimes I'm not sure. I just don't want us to be like this. I love you so much. I think I'll just... Try to get along with you and... Trust you.

AMBER: Okay.

SARAH: Okay.

AMBER: I'm meeting Damien. He's picking me up.

SARAH: Okay.

[Amber reaches out for the cake, Sarah hands it over with a smile.]

AMBER: See you later.

SARAH: See you later.

[Amber leaves, Sarah walks up to the door frame and starts knocking her head against it.]

[New Scene - Night time, Amber and Damien outside sitting on the roof of the van.]

AMBER: You look like a little baby. It's all over your face. [They kiss for a moment.] So, like, the other day, I got a "C" On this test that I was, like, sure that I had aced.


AMBER: It was so weird.

DAMIEN: Well, I guess a "C"'s better than a "D," and you've had plenty of those, right?

AMBER: Yeah, I guess.

DAMIEN: You know, you could ace whatever you want, but that stuff doesn't really mean anything. I mean, after the electrical grid fails, I mean, who's gonna survive? Someone who gets an "A" On a test or someone who's been in the school of life? It's all coming down, the whole world as we know it.

AMBER: Really? That's what you think?

DAMIEN: Yeah. I mean, I don't know when. But I do know that what you get on a report card is gonna seem pretty insignificant when you're living off the land and fending off "Marooders."

AMBER: What did you say?

DAMIEN: Marooders.

AMBER: But you know it's marauders.

DAMIEN: Marooders.

AMBER: Mm. Marauders. No one says that.

DAMIEN: Mm, marauders.

AMBER: Okay?

DAMIEN: Marauders.

AMBER: Eat this.

[She looks away in amazement.]

[New Scene - Braverman kitchen, Zeek and Camille in the kitchen alone.]

CAMILLE: You didn't tell me about your trip. How'd it go?

ZEEK: Well, it was great.

CAMILLE: Was our number one son helpful?

ZEEK: Now, I will tell you something, that kid Adam has got a great head for business. Oh, you can settle an argument we were having. Now we were talking about trips going to the Grand Canyon and all that stuff. Was it Adam or Crosby that vomited on your head? It was Sarah. [Slapping the counter.]

CAMILLE: Boy, you really don't remember, do you?

ZEEK: Well, I mean, there was so much going on. You know, there's been quite a background of information. I can't keep track of all of it.

CAMILLE: Well, maybe that was because the vomit wasn't dripping down your face. You were too busy laughing.

ZEEK: [Laughing] Oh, you got to admit it was funny.

CAMILLE: This is the way it went. Julia got sick and threw up in my hair. She was screaming her little heart out. [Sounding upset.] And I was trying to comfort her while wiping puke out of my eyes. You were too busy laughing to even think about helping. You did me the big favor of pulling into a gas station. While you were filling up the tank, I was in that... disgusting bathroom trying to wash the vomit out of my hair under the faucet in the sink.

ZEEK: [Rubbing her shoulders he hugs Camille from behind.] Millie, I never knew it upset you that much. Would you accept a belated apology? I'm sorry.

CAMILLE: Ha. Sure. So what else about the trip? Anything?

ZEEK: Adam, he snores like a chainsaw, but he's not going to admit it. What else can I tell you?

[New Scene - Adam and Kristina's bedroom, she is reading in bed.]

ADAM: [Exhaling.]

KRISTINA: Is he asleep?

ADAM: Yeah. The eagle has landed.

KRISTINA: Thank God. I'm exhausted. [Taps the bed for Adam to get in.]

ADAM: Well... I found Sydney's ball [Holds the ball up.] Beneath his pillow.


ADAM: Mm-hmm.

KRISTINA: Oh, my God, she gave it to him?

ADAM: No. He stole it from her.

KRISTINA: He stole it from her?

ADAM: Uh-huh.

KRISTINA: Are you sure?

ADAM: Yeah.

KRISTINA: Okay, honey, we have to call Julia and Joel. Call them. Where's the phone?

ADAM: Call them and what? Give it back?


ADAM: Oh, screw that.


ADAM: Look, if she's such a little genius. She can make, you know, a thousand of 'em using cold fusion.

KRISTINA: Cold fusion?

ADAM: Yeah.

KRISTINA: Honey, you have to tell him that this is not okay. He can't just take things without asking.

ADAM: Well, I did tell him.

KRISTINA: Okay. Good. What did he say?

ADAM: He said he asked her.


ADAM: And she said no.

KRISTINA: So he just stole it?

ADAM: Mm-hmm.

[They both laugh.]

MAX: What's so funny?

ADAM: You are, buddy.

MAX: Is that my rubber band ball?

ADAM: Huh?

MAX: I couldn't find the rubber band ball when you guys woke me up with the laughing.

ADAM: Why don't you come in here?

MARK: Well, I asked her for it.

KRISTINA: You did?

MAX: You said I just had to ask.

KRISTINA: No, I didn't.

MAX: You just said you can only have it if you ask her.

KRISTINA: But she has to say yes.

MAX: You never said that.

ADAM: [To Kristina.] What you reading about? Water scavenger beetle. Emerald click beetle. What's your favorite beetle?

MAX: Hercules beetle.

ADAM: Hercules beetle. You know how much we love you, buddy? Hmm?

MAX: As much as I love beetles.

[New Scene - Jasmine's apartment, Crosby is helping clean up after the party.]

JASMINE: What are you smiling about?

CROSBY: [Chuckling.] Your family is intense.

JASMINE: You think?

CROSBY: That's saying a lot, coming from me.

JASMINE: Oh, yeah.

CROSBY: Thanks for sticking up for me. I know that wasn't easy.

JASMINE: Yeah, well, I should have told 'em the truth A long time ago, you know.

CROSBY: I think Jabbar had a good birthday party.

JASMINE: Yeah. Did you notice that he had three pieces of cake?

CROSBY: Did you notice that he went into a weird little sugar coma at one point on the third slice with, like, drool coming down mixed with the blue dye?
JASMINE: Yes, I noticed that. He's very cute, our son.

CROSBY: I think I'm falling in love. [Jasmine looks at Crosby.] With Jabbar.


CROSBY: It's okay.


CROSBY: Oh, thank goodness.


CROSBY: You look like you saw a ghost.

JASMINE: Good. I was worried for a second. Um, why don't you... why don't you come join me in the living room?


[New Scene - Sarah reading in bed, in the guesthouse. Amber enters.]

AMBER: I told Damien to go back. It had absolutely nothing to do with you. I hope you're happy.

[Sarah smiles as Amber leaves.]

[New Scene - Zeek and Camille having coffee, Zeek clearly hasn't told Camille about their financial problems.]

[New Scene - Back at Jasmine's apartment, they are sitting on the couch watching the birth video of Jabbar. Crosby is tearing up.]

Episode End
1.08 - Rubber Band Ball
Original Airdate (NBC) April 20 2010
Written by Jan Oxenberg
Directed by Lawrence Trilling

Transcribed by Craig Best
Original subtitles from www.addic7ed.com

Please Don't Use Without Permission!

This is a transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, some settings have been added where needed along with actions and/or camera movements where I felt they were necessary. "PARENTHOOD" and other related entities are owned, their respective companies and no copyright infringement is intended..
All Rights Reserved. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain.


contact the webmaster