1.07 - What's Goin' On
Transcript by Craig Best

[Opening scene - Yoga class.]

YOGA INSTRUCTOR: Hips up, heels down. Very good. Back down to your knees, breathing in. Now inhale. Arching your back up like a kitty cat. And exhale. Shh. Extending out like a cow, moo.


CROSBY: [looking at the woman in front of him.] Boy, you weren't kidding, this yoga's great.

JABBAR: Shh, you're not supposed to talk.

CROSBY: Oh, okay, I'll stop talking.

YOGA INSTRUCTOR: And hips up in a downward facing dog.

CROSBY: Oh. [Collapses to the floor.]

JABBAR: Crosby! You're doing it wrong again.

CROSBY: [Laughing and the woman watches him from between her legs.] Yeah, I'm aware of that.

WOMAN: How old is your son?

CROSBY: Oh, this is Jabbar, he's five.

BOY: [The Woman's son.] I'm five, too.

JABBAR: I'm five and a half.

BOY: I'm five and three-quarters.

WOMAN: Well, Jabbar... I think this is what the yogis would call fate, hmm? Would you boys like to come over for a play date? If that's okay with your dad.

CROSBY: Oh yeah we love play dates.


WOMAN: Great. Can't wait.

CROSBY: Yeah, me neither… Okay.

YOGA INSTRUCTOR: One more inhale. And exhale. Sh.

[New Scene - Exterior of Adam's house, he is in the driveway near the garage fixing a some bikes.]

KRISTINA: You have to breathe, Adam.

ADAM: Almost there.

KRISTINA: Breathe.

ADAM: Almost there.



KRISTINA: Come here. Honey, what about these for tomorrow? [Showing her some high heeled shoes.] Look. These were in the goodwill.

HADDIE: No, mom.

KRISTINA: They're perfect.

HADDIE: No, mom. Mom, you're not serious. Aunt Julia works in a real office.

KRISTINA: I wore these to real places.

ADAM: What are you talking about?

HADDIE: It's career week and I get to take Monday off to shadow somebody in the career of my choosing.

ADAM: What's wrong with my career?

HADDIE: I can really answer that if you want.

ADAM: Ah! Ha-ha! [Finally getting the wheel loose]


ADAM: Got it!

KRISTINA: Good job, honey.

ADAM: Got it, high five.


ADAM: Okay, all right, let's do it.

KRISTINA: [holding the shoes up.] So cute.


ADAM: Here we go.

HADDIE: No. This is one of those Braverman family fun things, and I'm not doing it.

ADAM: Yes, it is.

HADDIE: Well, I'm going to a movie at 5:00 with Steve, and mom already gave me permission.


ADAM: All right, you know what? It's fine, we still have an hour for Braverman family bonding. You guys mount up, I'm gonna go get the boy.

HADDIE: Well, the boy still has 40 minutes left with gabby.

ADAM: No, he doesn't.

HADDIE: Uh, yeah, he does. It's on a gigantic schedule in the kitchen and it's hard to miss.

KRISTINA: I'm sorry, honey. We can do this another time.

ADAM: It's gonna be great. We got 20 minutes. We're gonna go around the block.

KRISTINA: Honey, we can do this another time.


KRISTINA: It's not a big deal. He has to stick to that schedule.

[New Scene - Inside the house.]

GABY: I don't think we should stop right now.

ADAM: You're gonna get paid for the entire session. Come on, it's an entire Sunday afternoon off. I'm sure there are plenty of other things You'd rather be doing.

GABY: We're really making strides with His sticker system right now and I'd hate to derail all that hard work…

MAX: Gaby. Gaby? I finished math, can I have my Spiderman stickers now?

ADAM: How you doing, pal?

GABY: Actually, max, the deal was you finish math and reading, and you get your stickers.

MAX: Okay, can we start reading then?

[Gaby looks at Adam.]

ADAM: Get to it.

[New Scene - Exterior, a park, Sarah and Mark are walking along the path.]

SARAH: Yeah. It's nice. It's nice to live here. And of course, what 38-year-old woman Does not enjoy living at home with her parents? That's a real...

MARK: [Laughs] Sounds fun.

SARAH: I just told you how old I am.

MARK: That's okay, I, I, you're. You have a daughter who's a junior, I kind of assumed you didn't have her when you were ten.

SARAH: Really?

MARK: Yeah. You wanna know actually what I was thinking just there?


MARK: You've had your arms crossed For almost this entire walk and I really wanna hold your hand. But I don't know how to do that when they're like that. Do I try to go for that one, or that, I mean, it's... So I don't know if, [Sarah takes Marks hand.] Well, there you go. See, that's what I'm talking about. You're, you're so good.

SARAH: I've got 12 years on you.

MARK: That's true.

[Sarah giggles as the look at each other, Mark leans in to kiss her, Sarah stops him.]

SARAH: I'm sorry.

MARK: Oh, sorry.

SARAH: No, I'm sorry.

MARK: I'm sorry.

SARAH: I'm sorry.

MARK: I misread the handholding thing.

SARAH: No, you didn't. Come here.

[They sit on a bench seat.]

SARAH: It's just, uh... I just can't stop thinking about Amber. I lied to her today. I was gonna tell her, and then she called me "pulchritudinous." And I got distracted. [Mark smiles.] Oh, you think that's funny?

MARK: No, no, that means beautiful. Pulchritudinous. It's one of her S.A.T. Words.

SARAH: It is?

MARK: She used it appropriately, I'm proud of her.

SARAH: Thanks. [Pointing to herself.] Dumb.

MARK: No. Here's a thought about Amber. I think that we should take, like, a um, test run Where we make out and we just see where that goes. Because it would be a total waste if we told Amber and then it turns out that we actually repulse each other.

SARAH: Okay.

[As they kiss "Colors" Amos Lee plays.]

SARAH: Nothing.

MARK: No chemistry.

SARAH: Mm-mm.

MARK: No spark, nothing.

SARAH: Not a thing.

MARK: Just... Well, let me try it one more time.

[They make-out some more.]

[Opening Credits - featuring “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan]

[New Scene - Morning, Haddie exits her house.]

HADDIE: Okay, I'm coming! I'm ready!

JULIA: Oh, look at you!

HADDIE: I know. Do you like my hair?

KRISTINA: Haddie, honey. You forgot your lunch.

HADDIE: Um, it's okay, Aunt Julia said she's taking me out.

KRISTINA: It's egg salad.

JULIA: Okay, morning, Kristina. We're burning billable hours here so we gotta go.

KRISTINA: Sorry, sorry, sorry. Julia, thank you so much for doing this, it's so sweet of you. She's so excited.

JULIA: Oh, good.

KRISTINA: Can I give you some money?

JULIA: No, no. No, I'm taking her out on the firm's dime.

KRISTINA: Oh, if you're sure, that's great.

JULIA: Yeah.

KRISTINA: Thank you. [To Haddie] Thank her.

HADDIE: Uh-huh, I did.



KRISTINA: Be nice, be cordial…

HADDIE: okay, I got it.

HADDIE: Thanks, mom, bye.

KRISTINA: Thanks, Jules.

JULIA: I gotta go, okay.



[Julia speeds off]

[New Scene - Amber is having a private session with Mark Cyr, he holds up a flash card.]

AMBER: This one.

MARK: Oh, come on.

AMBER: I know this one.

MARK: Cogitate.

AMBER: Cogitating, it means to... Not know the answer.

MARK: Ah! Come on. Amber!

AMBER: I know.

MARK: S.A.T.'s are in five days, You gotta know all of these cold.

AMBER: Ugh, [Reading the card] Noisy and difficult to control.

MARK: Huh, it's weird, you forgot that one.

AMBER: Oh, that's so funny.

MARK: [Laughs]

AMBER: I really am studying really hard. I'm even using my words in everyday speech.

MARK: Good.

AMBER: You can call my mom and ask for corroboration if you please.

MARK: Well, I'm not gonna do that. But I will ask you if you have your iPod with you.

AMBER: No. They're not allowed on school grounds, so why would I…

MARK: I know you're packing, I saw you.

AMBER: Unbelievable. Just because I miss one word, I'm robbed of the only thing that provides distraction from this ordeal.

MARK: No, I'm not punishing you. In fact, I've been really impressed by how hard you've been working. So I got you a little present.

AMBER: What is it? [She walks over to his desk.] You made me a playlist?

MARK: Mm-hmm. So for the next five days, you are going to eat, sleep, and breathe the S.A.T.'s.


MARK: [Handing back the iPod] And this should help.

AMBER: Thanks.

MARK: Okay. And also take these. They're very important.

AMBER: Cool.

MARK: All right.

AMBER: Thank you. Great.

MARK: Work on them.

AMBER: I will.

MARK: Don't just let them collect dust.

AMBER: Okay.

MARK: I'll see you tomorrow.

AMBER: Okay, bye.

[New Scene - Valerie's House (Woman from the Yoga class) for the play date, its very modern and upmarket double story house.]


VALERIE: Hi. Welcome.

CROSBY: Oh, wow. What a dump.


CROSBY: I'm so sorry about this.

VALERIE: Yes, well... the one perk of catching your husband with an H-O-O-K-E-R.


MILO: We have a pool.

JABBAR: Yeah Crosby has an ocean.

CROSBY: Oh, Jabbar, it's not polite to brag, it's more of a marina than it is an ocean.

VALERIE: Oh, okay.

[They go into the back yard.]


VALERIE: Milo, why don't you go show Jabbar the tennis court?

CROSBY: Oh, the tennis courts. That's… you know, I don't know how competitive he's gonna be. We don't really have him on the country club circuit yet.

VALERIE: Oh, please. [Laughs] Milo can barely hold a racquet. My ex has this idea that he's going to grow up to be a tennis star. So what about you and Jabbar's mom? Are you guys cool?

CROSBY: Yeah. Uh, we are. It's a funny story, actually.


JABBAR: Crosby!


JABBAR: We're playing tag, and you're it!

CROSBY: Oh, I'm it? Well, you better keep it moving then. [He begins chasing Jabbar.] jump in the pool!

JABBAR: Jump in the pool, ah!

[New Scene - Julia and Haddie having lunch.]

HADDIE: Wow, this looks good.

JULIA: [To the waiter.] Thank you very much.

HADDIE: So when did you first realize that you wanted to be a lawyer?

JULIA: All right, I was in a civil rights class when I was at Stanford. Go Cardinal, by the way. Put that in your report, it'll drive your Cal dad nuts.

HADDIE: Oh, my god, I will. I'm secretly a Stanford girl.

JULIA: So...Civil rights class. It was all about the fundamental rights that we have as citizens. And the way that we're all protected equally under the law. And maybe it sounds corny, but it meant a lot to me.

HADDIE: Aunt Julia, I had no idea that you did that kind of law.

JULIA: Well, uh... No, I don't, actually. Right now, anyway.

HADDIE: Oh. What kind of law do you do?

JULIA: How do I explain it? You've heard the term "Mergers and Acquisitions?"

HADDIE: Mm-hmm.

JULIA: My job deals with the legal implications. Corporate strategy, corporate finance. It's the buying, selling, and combining of companies. At the end of the day, we can provide the acquired company with a buy-out package.

HADDIE: Is it--is it a lot of money?

JULIA: Not if I do my job right.

HADDIE: Oh. [She makes a note.]

JULIA: Wait...Maybe just, don't, don't include that part, that's. It's more complicated than I just explained.

HADDIE: Than screwing some poor slob out of his retirement?

JULIA: What?

HADDIE: Pretty woman! I was--I was quoting Julia Roberts. But don't worry, I know that's not what it's really like.

[New Scene - Back at the play date with Valerie and Milo.]

VALERIE: I want chocolate.

CROSBY: You want chocolate or vanilla?

MAX: Vanilla.

VALERIE: Vanilla. Okay.

CROSBY: [Looking at his phone.] Oh, it's my brother. [To Adam.] Hey, what's up?

ADAM: Well, uh, a couple of things. Number one, I have to cancel our weekly basketball game tonight. I am sorry about that. And number two, I need a recommendation for a hip restaurant.

CROSBY: One, that's, like, the eighth time in a row you've cancelled the game. So technically, I don't think we can refer to it as "weekly" anymore.

ADAM: Yeah, all right, jackass.

CROSBY: Listen, what kind of "hip" are we talking about? Anniversary hip, or guys out on the town hip?

ADAM: No, it's just these two retail clients are in from out of town, and somebody has to show them a good time. I drew the short straw.

CROSBY: Are you sure you're the right guy for the job?

ADAM: Yeah, very funny.

CROSBY: Write this down. Take them to Casa Villa on San Pablo. You're gonna love it.

ADAM: All right.

CROSBY: Well, they'll love it. You'll tolerate it, okay?

ADAM: Thanks.

[New Scene - later that night at Casa Villa]

ADAM: Yeah, no, no.

CLIENT: Can we get two?

ADAM: No, no, we'll get it at the table. We're good, we're good. [To the Waitress.] Hi, hi. I'm Adam Braverman.

EMILY: You must be Cosby's brother.

ADAM: Yes.

EMILY: I have a table for you guys.

ADAM: Okay.

EMILY: Right this way, gentlemen.

ADAM: [Checking his phone.] Yeah, it's my wife, I'll be right with you.

CLIENT: We'll be all right.

ADAM: All right. Hey, honey, what's up?

KRISTINA: Hey, honey, can you get out of your dinner?

ADAM: Uh, why, why, what? Something happened?

KRISTINA: No, no, there's a three-hour bug movie Playing at the iMax, And Haddie took Max, so you know what that means?

ADAM: Look, you just queue up the Van Morrison, I'll be home as soon as I can.

KRISTINA: Oh, hey, Adam. Kitten's on the grill.

ADAM: Soon as I can. All right, bye.

[A short time later Adam is bored as the Clients chat up some ladies.]

ADAM: Hi. Hi, check. You guys, you guys are good, right? You're all set?

CLIENT 1: Whoa.

CLIENT 2: Actually can we get one more round?

CLIENT 1: One more.

ADAM: Okay, one more round.

CLIENT 1: Whoo!

ADAM: Yeah, all right. Better make mine a virgin.

WAITRESS: You got it.

ADAM: There you go. Thank you. [His phone rings again.] Sorry, guys. Just...My wife. [Into the phone.] Hey.


ADAM: The, uh, the margarita twins are holding me hostage here. But, uh, I'm doing the best I can. What are you wearing?

KRISTINA: Um, actually, I'm sorry, but it was a false alarm, okay? Max had a meltdown during one of the trailers, so they came home early. I'm just calling to see if you pick up some cornflakes on the way home.

ADAM: Honey, we already have cornflakes. I got Cornflakes, you got Cornflakes.

KRISTINA: Honey, I know that, but I accidentally bought the ones with strawberries, okay? Max said that they looked like toads.

ADAM: [Distracted seeing Gaby at the bar.] Okay, I'll pick up some cornflakes without toads in them. Bye, honey.

WAITRESS: And a virgin strawberry daiquiri for you, sir.

ADAM: Thank you.

WAITRESS: You're welcome.

ADAM: Thank you.

WOMAN: [With Gaby] Another round!

GABY: Whoo! Another round! Whoo!

WOMAN: That was a good one.

GABY: Just one.

WOMAN: Yeah.

[New Scene - Morning, Adam comes down the stairs to the kitchen.]

ADAM: [Sounding like he has a hangover.] Uh. Ah.

KRISTINA: Oh! Honey, how many margaritas did you have?

ADAM: Just two.

KRISTINA: Just two? Aspirin's in the cabinet, and you might wanna put some pants on…

MAX: I'm done.

KRISTINA: …'cause Gaby's gonna be here any minute. Wait, clean up your stuff.

MAX: Nope.


ADAM: I think Gaby might be calling in sick today.

KRISTINA: Really? Why's that?

ADAM: Well, I saw her at the bar last night.

KRISTINA: You saw Gaby at the bar last night?

ADAM: Mm-hmm.

KRISTINA: What? She's not even old enough to drink, how could you see her at the…
ADAM: Oh, yeah, she is. And if two margaritas can do this to me, I can only imagine what ten tequila shots did to her last night.

KRISTINA: What? Sticker system Gaby was shooting Tequila last night?

ADAM: Oh, yeah, it was like a Girls Gone Wild video.


ADAM: You know, I don't know how she can spend all day dealing with kids like max, and then just leave it all behind.

KRISTINA: Well, what do you think? That she leaves here and goes home, and thinks about Max all night? I mean she has a life, you know.

ADAM: That's what I do. [The Door Bell Rings.] Mm.

KRISTINA: Um, that's her. Put your pants on.

ADAM: Yep. Come on, strait up.

KRISTINA: Honey, no.

ADAM: I wanna see how she looks. I don't want her around Max in case she's looking like…

KRISTINA: Like you?

[Adam and Kristina watch from behind the fridge door in the kitchen.]

MAX: [Opens the front door.] I did reading, math, and writing. Can I have my stickers now?

GABY: Do I get a "Good morning" first?

MAX: Good morning. Do I get an extra sticker for that?

GABY: Hi, guys.

ADAM & KRISTINA: [Together] Hi.

MAX: I get an extra sticker.

GABY: [To Adam and Kristina.] Have you been outside yet? It's gorgeous.

ADAM: Yeah, sure is.

GABY: See you later.


HADDIE: [Off Camera.] Morning.

GABY: [Off Camera.] Morning.

KRISTINA: She looks like a mess. She looks wrecked, honey.

ADAM: Very funny.


ADAM: Yeah.

HADDIE: You're not wearing pants.

ADAM: That's correct.


ADAM: Hey, how was your career day with Julia?

HADDIE: Oh, my god, it was really amazing.

KRISTINA: [Reacting to Adam's attempted kiss.] Oh, whoo!

HADDIE: It's so nice to have this, like, female professional that I can look up to, you know?

KRISTINA: Mm-hmm, that's great, honey.

HADDIE: Oh, my god, there's this guy, His name's, like, Ross or something, I don't know. As far as I can tell, his entire job is just to get Aunt Julia A latte whenever she wants.

ADAM: Wow, latte guy.

KRISTINA: That would be so cool.

HADDIE: Yeah. You should've seen the way that everybody just respected her. It's like, like, her secretary is a dude, first of all. And everybody calls her "Ms. Braverman." It's like she's her own powerful woman, you know? Oh, my god. She took me out to lunch at this, like, really expensive place. It was the best meal I have ever had.

[New Scene - Stair case at Julia and Joel's house.]

JOEL: [To Sydney about her shoes.] This is the world's largest knot.

JULIA: [To Sydney, help her dress.] Hey, sweetie, come here. [To Joel.] You know, Haddie really got me thinking about why I got into law.

JOEL: Yeah?

JULIA: Do you remember what I used to say in school, all the time?

JOEL: Yeah, that you wanted to make partner by 30?

JULIA: No, I said that once. No, I said that once I paid off student loans, I would go to work for legal aid.

JOEL: [Laughs.] Yeah, you said that once and if I recall, it was after a Al Gore rally. [To Sydney] All right, sweet pea, you are officially dressed. Go get your backpack. [To Julia.] Um, what is this about?

JULIA: Well, I got into the law to use it to help people and all I'm doing is helping big companies crush little companies.

JOEL: You love crushing little companies.

JULIA: I know, I know, but what kind of person loves that?

[New Scene - Whiskey Mike's]

SARAH: Frank, I'm sorry. I'm here. Traffic was terrible.



FRANK: This...Came for you. [Places a vase of Flowers on the bar.] Mm-hmm.

SARAH: Oh! No one's ever sent me flowers at work before.

FRANK: Probably comes with not having an office.

SARAH: [Looks at the card.] Oh, god.

FRANK: [Reading the card Sarah is showing him.] "Pulchritudinous?"

SARAH: It means beautiful.

[New Scene - Kristina's house, Sarah and Julia are there.]

KRISTINA: So wait a minute... How young is young? Like, you were saying he was young, but...

SARAH: Yeah.

KRISTINA: But how young is he?

SARAH: You know, like, 29.


JULIA: Well, that's not too bad.

SARAH: No, he's 26. I don't know why I'm lying.

JULIA: 26?

SARAH: Yeah.

KRISTINA: That's not bad.

JULIA: That's 12 years.

SARAH: It's 11 years. It's 11 years, and eight months.

JULIA: No, this is a good thing.

KRISTINA: That's a great thing.

JULIA: And he's Amber's, he's Amber's English teacher?

SARAH: Yeah. I know.

KRISTINA: So what?

JULIA: You should just go for it.

KRISTINA: Yah, go for it.

SARAH: Yeah.

JULIA: Yeah?

KRISTINA: I think it's great, you know?

SARAH: I love it.

KRISTINA: You're both adults.

JULIA: Yeah.

KRISTINA: And he's sort of an adult.

SARAH: He's an adult.

JULIA: I'm sorry, hold on. Wait, is he hot?

SARAH: Yes, okay. I mean, that's not the point.

JULIA: No, I'm checking.

SARAH: He's scruffy, like, he looks like Mark Ruffalo, kind of.

JULIA: Mm! I love Mark Ruffalo.

SARAH: Yeah.

KRISTINA: He is so cute. I say you hit that.

JULIA: Uh, did you?


JULIA: Okay. Now that we've established that you're gonna hit that.

SARAH: I am? Oh, wow.

JULIA: Uh-huh, you are. And I have a pertinent question. You're making a first impression, you don't want to scare him away with, like, a Chia Pet.


JULIA: Okay, Mark…

ADAM: Christina!

KRISTINA: [The Adam.] What!

JULIA: …might be expecting something a little more, less.

SARAH: What do you mean, how much less?

ADAM: Why is it that every time we have one of these family get-togethers, it turns into a to-do list for me?

KRISTINA: [To Julia.] Is that what you have?

ADAM: Crosby thinks changing the oil is optional.

KRISTINA: A square hair? Different shape.

SARAH: A landing strip.

KRISTINA: A landing strip for somebody's airplane.

ADAM: What is going on?

SARAH, JULIA & KRISTINA: [Together.] Nothing.

ADAM: What's going on? What are you talking about?

JULIA: Sarah's having sex with Amber's English teacher.

SARAH: Not yet, not yet, don't tell.

ADAM: What's up with that?

SARAH: I just have a date. I'm not, I'm gonna have a date.

JULIA: Just a strategy session.

ADAM: Uh-huh.

JULIA: So we're preparing.

KRISTINA: Adam, please.

ADAM: All right.

SARAH: I have a date with a nice guy, I haven't touched his pickle yet, which reminds me…

ADAM: I'm gonna wash my hands.

SARAH: Listen I'm supposed to pick up the girls tomorrow night. But if I see him, I can't. And, can anybody help me?

KRISTINA: I can't do it. I have to be here with Max and Gaby, I'm sorry. He can.

ADAM: What?

KRISTINA: Adam can, I just can't.

ADAM: Oh, Adam can do it.

KRISTINA: Honey you just need a break.

SARAH: Can Adam do it?

ADAM: Yes.

SARAH: Thank you, Adam.

ADAM: See you later.

JULIA: Adam can do it!

KRISTINA: Seriously, I wanna know what you've got going on down here.

[New Scene - Night time, Crosby's house boat, Jabbar is asleep in his arms.]

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Hey.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Looks like you guys had a big day, huh?

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Oh, it was colossal.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Oh, good.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Hey, if you're cool with it, I would love to have another colossal day with him tomorrow.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Okay.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Yeah?

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Yeah.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Good.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Cool.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Thank you. Um...

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Yeah.

[Crosby starts handing Jabbar over to his mother.]

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Come on.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Okay, can you…

JASMINE: [Whispering.] I got him.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Ow!

[A toy plane starts to make noise.]

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Sh! sh, sh, sh. [Hoping Jabbar doesn't wake up.] Sh!

[Crosby finally stops the noise.]

JABBAR: [Half asleep.] Where's my thing?

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Here…

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Sh, sh.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] It's right here, it's right here. Okay.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Okay.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Are we good?

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Yeah.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Oh, his backpack. His backpack. Umm, I should put it on you.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Ow! No, no, it's all right.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Okay.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Can you put that…

[Crosby hands Jasmine the toy plane as they appear to share a moment.]

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Okay.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] All right.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] All right.

JASMINE: [Whispering.] Good night.

CROSBY: [Whispering.] Drive safe.

[New Scene - Kristina looking though some old reports.]


HADDIE: Hey, mom.

KRISTINA: [Looking at the report and smiling.] Oh, god. [To Haddie.] Hey. [Back to the report.] That's great. Oh.


KRISTINA: What? Oh... These are just old work files.


KRISTINA: I saw how excited you got with Aunt Julia for career day, so I got sort of nostalgic, and...

HADDIE: Right, weren't you, like, a Councilman's assistant?

KRISTINA: No, a Legislative deputy. I'll show you my name. "Kristina Braverman, Legislative deputy to councilman member." So these are the minutes that I proposed to council. I was trying to reduce the number of roadside billboards, at that time.

HADDIE: Oh! Okay, so, like, you stopped there from being too many billboards.

KRISTINA: Exactly, because they would block the views.

HADDIE: Right.

KRISTINA: So I had to stop it.


[Adam listens from the hallway.]

KRISTINA: Yeah. It passed. This ordinate passed.

HADDIE: Good for you.

KRISTINA: Good for us.

[Car horn outside.]

HADDIE: That's me.

KRISTINA: That, what.

HADDIE: Later.


ADAM: Have a good day.

KRISTINA: Honey, what about your lunch?

ADAM: [To Kristina] Hey, hon.


ADAM: How are you?

KRISTINA: I'm good.

ADAM: What are you doing?

MAX: [Interrupting them.] I want eggs today.

KRISTINA: Okay. We can do eggs.

[New Scene - Valerie and Milo's house, they are playing in the pool with Crosby and Jabbar.]

CROSBY: Watch out, a Goblin's coming through! Vroom! Vroom!


CROSBY: Question.


CROSBY: What's with Hasselhoff?

VALERIE: Oh. [Giggles] Well, safety first.


VALERIE: Besides he can help watch the kids while you help me fix a snack.

CROSBY: Uh... You know what Jabbar's not a great swimmer, I think I might stay in here with him.

LIFE GUARD: I'll get in the pool with the boys, Jabbar will probably fine.


LIFE GUARD: Here we go. Come on, dude.

VALERIE: Right up here.

CROSBY: They look happy.

VALERIE: They're playing.


VALERIE: That's what kids do.

CROSBY: Everyone's happy.


CROSBY: [Taking one last look before going into the bedroom.] Yeah.

[They start making out, Valerie is on top kissing Crosby's bare chest.]

CROSBY: Oh, my god, I can't. I can't. I can't.

VALERIE: Yes, you can.

CROSBY: No, I mean, yeah, I can. But I can't believe I'm about to say this, but listen, hold, hold on. I just, speaking as a parent, I don't know if I'm com… I don't know if I'm comfortable with this scenario.

VALERIE: What scenario?

CROSBY: Well, the scenario where the…where our kids are down in the pool and then we're up here.


CROSBY: You know what, I can't. I can't do this.

VALERIE: You're serious? [She gets off him.]

CROSBY: [looking down at his pants.] Oh, all right I'm gonna need a minute.

[New Scene - Outside Rosevelt High School, Amber is listening to her iPod.]

ADAM: Hey, where's Haddie?

AMBER: Um, she's at Steve's. Can I still get a ride or should I hitch one from a creepy stranger?

[Adam opens the door to let her in.]

[New Scene - A short time later they are driving home, Amber is listening to her iPod again.]

ADAM: How was school? How was school?

AMBER: It was fine.

ADAM: Yeah?


ADAM: Hey, you know, if you wanna listen to music this car has an excellent sound system.

AMBER: Oh, no, no, no.

ADAM: No, watch this, it's got an iPod docking station.

AMBER: Okay, uncle Adam.

ADAM: Let's check it. Ow

MARK: [On the iPod.] Loquacious. Very talkative, garrulous. As in "Principal Grayson is extremely loquacious."

ADAM: Uh... What are you, studying?

AMBER: Yeah, I'm studying. I know it's hard to believe.

ADAM: That's not what I meant.

AMBER: It's fine. Okay, I have the S.A.T.'s on Saturday.

ADAM: Cool.

AMBER: Yeah. And so my English teacher made me a mix tape, to help me study.

ADAM: Wow. That's pretty dedicated. Is he a good guy?

AMBER: Yeah, he's, he's a really good guy. Actually, he's cool. He really, he cares if I do well or not, so.

ADAM: Uh-huh.

AMBER: What?

ADAM: Nothing, nothing. That's great. That's great. I'm really happy about that.

AMBER: Can we listen to something else?

ADAM: Yeah, sure. Actually, I've got something right here. Listen to this.


ADAM: You like Van Halen?

[New Scene - Mark's Apartment, night time, a police siren can be heard in the back ground.]

MARK: So...

SARAH: It's so nice.

MARK: Thanks. [Clears his throat.] Um...Okay. so... here it is. [Hands Sarah a book.]

SARAH: The Sound and the Fury. One of my favorites.

MARK: Yes, I know.

SARAH: I have seen this before.

MARK: Yes, I know you have. Do you want something to drink?

SARAH: Okay.

MARK: Okay.

SARAH: So then what is this? Like, the English teacher's version of "Hey, baby, come over to my apartment. I'll show you my etchings," huh?

MARK: No, um. That's my... That's my copy from high school.


MARK: And if you turn to page 47, you'll see what paragraph I highlighted when I was 17 years old. That's what I wanted to show you.

SARAH: Oh. Mm. [looks for the page.] Hm, hm, hm. Oh! [Surprised she reads from the book.] "Caddy got the box, and set it on the floor, and opened it. It was full of stars. When I was still, they were still. When I moved, they glinted and sparkled. I hushed." [Sarah looks at Mark.] That's what I wrote my paper about.

MARK: I know.

SARAH: That Amber plagiarized.

MARK: I know. So, so tell me that that isn't weird.

SARAH: It's weird.

MARK: Yeah. Two people from two different high schools.

[At the same time.] MARK: Hundreds of miles. SARAH: Decades apart. [They laugh.]

MARK: That we pinpointed the exact same paragraph in that book. That's a little weird.

SARAH: That is weird.

MARK: That's so weird.

SARAH: But I love that part. It's.

MARK: I know.

SARAH: The box of stars is such a good metaphor for Caddy.

MARK: Yeah. Bright and, and burning.

SARAH: But she's closed off in a dark, claustrophobic place.

MARK: But she's lighting up everybody around her.

[They look at each other for a moment before Mark leans in and they start kissing.]

SARAH: Seduced me with The Sound and the Fury.

MARK: It works every time.

[New Scene - Dinner, Adam is waiting at the counter.]

WAITRESS: Here you go sir.

ADAM: Thank you. [To Sarah.] Hey.

SARAH: [To Waitress.] Hi, can I have a chocolate milkshake, please? Thank you. [She looks happy.] [To Adam.] Hi.

ADAM: Hey.

SARAH: Why so early?

ADAM: I just, I've been trying to squeeze in this walk with Kristina all week. And just that simple act requires that I get to work early, so I can get home early, before Gaby's done working with Max.


ADAM: I know. Here's what I wanna talk about. I've been thinking about this whole thing with you and Amber's teacher.

SARAH: His name is Mark.

ADAM: Well, I don't think it's a good idea.

SARAH: Well...

ADAM: [To waitress.] Thank you.

SARAH: Thank you for the unwanted advice.

ADAM: Sarah. [He keeps repeating as she talks.]

SARAH: Is that why we got up so early? For you to tell me, that I shouldn't be happy?

ADAM: Sarah, listen.

ADAM: When I gave Amber a ride home last night, it was pretty clear to me, she has a major crush on the guy.

SARAH: No, she doesn't.

ADAM: Yes, she does. You remember when you were in high school and you had that crush on Mr. Livitsky? How would you have felt if mom slept with Mr. Livitsky?

SARAH: Oh, gross!

ADAM: Yeah, exactly.

SARAH: No, Adam, it's different. Mom was married.

ADAM: It's not different.

SARAH: And mom was mom.

ADAM: Sarah. Look, I just don't want to see you fall into another...

SARAH: Another failure?

ADAM: No. You know what?

SARAH: 'cause nothing I do ever works out.

ADAM: No, no, no. You know what? Never mind, never mind. Forget about it. I just, I see Amber happier, I see her engaged and I don't wanna see her backslide, that's all.

SARAH: [Angrily.] I see those things. You're not the only good parent.

ADAM: Okay, wow. Well, all I'm asking you to do is just, just think about it before you do anything. I gotta go. Enjoy your milkshake.

[New Scene - Ambers room, she is studying on her bed.]

AMBER: [Hears a knock on the door.] Yeah?

SARAH: Hello.

AMBER: Hey, what's up? What? Why are you being weird?

SARAH: I'm not being weird. I just came into your, to…

AMBER: Did somebody die?

SARAH: Nobody died. Um... I... Met somebody.

AMBER: That's great.

SARAH: But wait, there's more. It's somebody you know.

AMBER: Who is it?

SARAH: It's, um... Your teacher. Mr. Cyr.


SARAH: Mr. Cyr.

AMBER: Yeah, well, I guessed it wasn't Mrs. Hasbrook.

SARAH: No, not with those orthopaedic shoes. I mean, you like him, right?

AMBER: Yeah.

SARAH: I know, I, I just wasn't sure.

AMBER: It's great. I said it was great.

SARAH: Just a couple times, you know. I didn't, it wasn't. I just wanted to make sure there was something... Do you wanna talk about it?

AMBER: No, no, I just wanna study.

[Sarah leaves the room and Amber starts to cry, from the other side of the door Sarah can hear her daughter.]

[New Scene -

ADAM: Hey, I'm home!


ADAM: Christina.

KRISTINA: Yes, Adam.

ADAM: Get your shoes.


ADAM: 'cause we're gonna go for a walk, come on. Come on, I'm home early from work, the trash bins are in, and Max is with Gaby for another half hour. Come on, let's go!

KRISTINA: Oh, no, honey, he's not. She leaves early on Thursdays, I told…

ADAM: No, no, no, I planned this.

GABY: [coming down the stairs.] I'll see you guys later.

KRISTINA: Bye, Gaby.

GABY: Bye.

ADAM: Hey.

KRISTINA: Oh hey Gaby.

ADAM: What do you think about making a little overtime today?

KRISTINA: Oh God, um.

GABY: I can't, I have another family at 7:00.

ADAM: Well, look, that's not for another two hours. I'm just looking for one, it's perfect.

GABY: Right, it's just really important that I take a break and have time to myself. I hope you understand.

KRISTINA: We understand completely. Thank you so much for today, and we'll see you tomorrow.

GABY: See you tomorrow.

ADAM: See you tomorrow.

KRISTINA: Oh, I'll call you later about...

GABY: Oh, yes.

KRISTINA: Thank you. Okay, bye.

ADAM & KRISTINA: [Together.] Bye.

[Gaby leaves.]

ADAM: Wow.

KRISTINA: She's so great.

ADAM: That's great, yeah.

KRISTINA: She's amazing.

ADAM: Yeah, that's great that she gets some time to herself. Maybe she can make another date with Jose Cuervo.

KRISTINA: Oh, god, Adam, come on.

ADAM: It's good you're being so supportive of her, that's good.

KRISTINA: What are you talking about?

ADAM: Nothing. You know what? Just forget it. I'm gonna go check on Max.

KRISTINA: Okay, he's fine. And he's not the one I'm worried about right now. What's your problem?

ADAM: What is that supposed to mean?

KRISTINA: Honey, you're all wound up, okay? [Adam start mumbling to himself.] It means that you need to take some time for yourself. Gaby's right, if you don't take time for yourself, you're gonna snap. You're already snapping. Don't do that, we have a system set up. If Max cleans up his toys, he gets a sticker.

ADAM: Okay, I'll just live like this. And when exactly am I supposed to schedule this "me time" for myself?

KRISTINA: Adam, I don't know. You know, maybe we can put it on the dry erase board.

ADAM: The dry erase board doesn't accurately reflect The time suck that is my family and my job.

KRISTINA: Hey, they are adults and they will manage.

ADAM: I don't know how it works, but it seems like everybody else has a life. You know, Crosby's got a life, Sarah moves back home to have a new life, even Gaby's got a life.

KRISTINA: You have a life.

ADAM: I don't have a life. Yeah, I don't have a life, Kristina. I have a schedule.

KRISTINA: You have a life. How do you think that makes me feel? You have a schedule...

ADAM: Kristina, this isn't about you.

KRISTINA: Then why is…

ADAM: I feel like everybody's treating me like a damn household appliance all the time.

KRISTINA: Oh, you too?

ADAM: Maybe it's about I'd like to go for a walk with my wife, but I can't because Crosby needs to consult with me about Jabbar, or Katie, or Sarah. Or you know, her kids need a father figure. How am I supposed to say no to that?

KRISTINA: I don't know. And then my own kids. Trying to get Haddie involved with family time. Or Max. God, I wish I knew what to do for Max.


ADAM: Or behavioral aid.

KRISTINA: Maybe what you need to do. Maybe what you need to do is take a break.

ADAM: I can't take a break!

KRISTINA: Yes, you can take a break. Take a break.

[Kristina walks away, about to cry.]

[New Scene - Mark's apartment.]




MARK: Please come in.

[She does, Mark tries to touch Sarah but she takes his hand.]


MARK: Hey.

SARAH: You know, in two years, Amber's gonna be graduated, and you're gonna be, um, 30. You know, almost 30. And, uh...I think that maybe that's the time that we should go out next.

MARK: Wait. Wait, what, what...?

SARAH: I'm asking you to go out with me.

MARK: In, in two years? Are you, did you just break up with me?

SARAH: [Crying.] This is just the best I can do.

MARK: Whoa, Sarah, Sarah, I don't understand. This is working.


SARAH: This is not the part of my life that is supposed to be working. I moved here to take care of my family and I'm doing a terrible job. I'm sorry, but for now I just, I can't think of anything else to do.

MAX: Wait, wait. Wait, I don't want to wait two years for this. Do you?

SARAH: Then don't, okay?

MARK: No, that's not what I mean. Sarah, I, I really like you. I, I really like you.

SARAH: No, I really like you. I really like you.

MARK: Okay, so it… [Without a word Sarah opens the door and leaves, closing it behind her.] Wait, wait. Sarah, Sarah. [Mark opens to door and watches as she goes.] Sarah!

[New Scene - Braverman house, next morning. Amber comes down the stairs to see Sarah in the kitchen, sharpening pencils.]

AMBER: What are you doing? [Louder.] What are you doing?

SARAH: [Cheerful.] Hi, good morning! Do you want some coffee? I made some coffee. It's a big day. Come on, take some coffee for the road. And honey, I know you don't normally eat breakfast, but just today you might consider this. It's got all kinds of magic energy and stuff in it. And just put that in your bag, you know? I've made these, well, I didn't make them. But you know, you have to use a number two pencil, 'cause if you use another- you know this probably…

AMBER: I'm okay.

SARAH: If you don't, you gotta, [Amber starts walking away.] Amber. Amber. [Louder.] Amber! [She stops and turns.] Good luck.

[New Scene - Outside Crosby's houseboat.]

JABBAR: Hey, Crosby.

CROSBY: Hey, buddy.

JASMINE: Sweetie, I want you to wait here for me, okay? I need to talk to Crosby.

JABBAR: But can I go?

JASMINE: No, stay here.

JABBAR: But he's there.

JASMINE: Stay here. Stay here.

CROSBY: Everything all right?

JASMINE: When you ask to spend time with Jabbar, I kind of expect you to spend time with Jabbar.

CROSBY: I did.

JASMINE: You're busted. He told me about your play date.

CROSBY: Well, I don't know what he told you, but…

JABBAR: Our son is not chick bait, Crosby, come on!

CROSBY: Nothing happened.

JASMINE: Really?

CROSBY: No, I mean, it was about to happen. But I stopped it.

JASMINE: You stopped it?

CROSBY: Yeah, I had a crisis of conscience. And I mean, it was kind of a big life moment, actually.

JASMINE: I'm really glad that you had a valuable learning experience while leaving our five-year-old son alone in the pool. What's wrong with you?

CROSBY: Whoa, hey, Jasmine. I wanna be the guy you thought I was.


CROSBY: Well, I'm trying.

JABBAR: Mommy, am I gonna stay with Crosby today?

JASMINE: Not today, sweetie, not today.


CROSBY: Bye, buddy. Look, I'll see you soon.

[New Scene - Adam and Haddie pushing their bikes.]

HADDIE: If you want something, ask me. That's what people do, they use their words. They don't use telepathy or something. It's just this look that she does all the time. And I'm sure you've seen it.

ADAM: Haddie, I want you to look around here. See this play structure and all this landscaping, and these benches here?


KRISTINA: Well, this company that built this building wanted to use every inch of this land to put up offices. And your mother stepped in and fought them. Got them to put up $200,000 to build this little park.

ADAM: Without her, this wouldn't be here.

KRISTINA: Wow. That's so Erin Brockovich of her.

[They take a seat on the steps.]

ADAM: Well, now you know what your mother used to do.

HADDIE: [Exhales.]

ADAM: Hey... Thank you.

HADDIE: For what?

ADAM: Coming out here with your dad today. I know there are other things you'd rather be doing with your Saturday.

HADDIE: No, there aren't.



ADAM: Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what I thought.

HADDIE: Yep. [Her phone rings.] Steve? He was just supposed to call me if basketball got out early we were gonna hang out, but it's fine. I'm gonna tell him that I can't, that I'm busy.

ADAM: No. Go. Have a good time.

HADDIE: No, dad, it's fine. I don't mind, I don't mind.

ADAM: Please, Haddie, go. Be 15. Just be a good girl.

HADDIE: Are you sure?

ADAM: I'm sure.

HADDIE: Okay, thanks, dad. [Her phone rings again as she walks away.] Hello? hi! Oh, my, no! No way! [Haddie gets her bike and Adam waves goodbye.] Yeah! No, no, no, no, yeah. I'm coming over right now. Okay, bye.

[New Scene - Amber is smoking across the street from her school when a van pulls up.]

AMBER: I can't believe you drove all the way from Fresno.

[They kiss.]

DAMIEN: I'm here now. Okay?

AMBER: Okay.

DAMIEN: How was your test?

AMBER: Um, I didn't go.

DAMIEN: You didn't take the test?

AMBER: No. What do you care? Let's go.

DAMIEN: Where are we going?

AMBER: Anywhere. Let's just drive, okay?

[New Scene - Kristina is putting some towels away, she bends down for some more only to see something on the shelf.]

KRISTINA: A decaf sugar-free vanilla latte. [Looking around.] Oh, you guys! Hey, Steve.


KRISTINA: Honey, this is really sweet of you. Thanks, honey.

HADDIE: We stopped by Peet's, and I didn't know if you'd want your regular. It's not really a big deal.

KRISTINA: It is a big deal, thank you.

STEVE: Did you know the sugar-free syrups are worse for you Than the regular ones? [Kristina stops drinking.] Well, there's a bunch of sites on it. I can send you the link, or, you know, whatever.

KRISTINA: Wait, where are you going?

HADDIE: We're just gonna hang out in my room.

KRISTINA: No, Haddie.


KRISTINA: Haddie, keep the door open, please.

HADDIE: Of course.

KRISTINA: Where's your dad?

HADDIE: Oh, I don't know, we split up like three hours ago.


[New Scene - The beach, Adam looks at the surf for a moment before walking in with his surfboard. His phone rings, it's on his towel with is keys. Adam is smiling as he takes some time for himself.]

Episode End
1.07 - What's Goin' On Down There
Original Airdate (NBC) March 13, 2010
Written by Sarah Watson
Directed by Adam Davidson

Transcribed by Craig Best
Original subtitles from www.tvsubs.net

Please Don't Use Without Permission!

This is a transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, some settings have been added where needed along with actions and/or camera movements where I felt they were necessary. "PARENTHOOD" and other related entities are owned, their respective companies and no copyright infringement is intended..
All Rights Reserved. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain.


contact the webmaster