3.02 - Hey, If You're Not Using That Baby
Transcript by Craig Best

This is a Beta copy
please contact me for any corrections or additions

[Opening scene - Kristina watches Max sleep.]

[Cut to a short time later Kristina and Adam are walking Max to school.]

KRISTINA: It's gonna be so great.

ADAM: Now Max, if you feel like you wanna make a comment in class, you got to remember to raise your hand and wait for the teacher to call on you, okay? She will.

KRISTINA: Yeah, absolutely. And if you wanna introduce yourself and say, "Hi, I'm Max Braverman," you know, to meet the kids, I'm sure there's so many nice kids here.

ADAM: Yeah, and if you smile a little bit, that'll help them know that you wanna be their friend.

KRISTINA: Yeah. Look them in the eye.

ADAM: Look right them in the eye.

MAX: Okay, I got it. Look them in the eye. A smile will help, I'm Max Braverman. Don't correct people.

ADAM: Yup. A-and try not to correct your teacher.

MAX: It's gonna be so much better than Footpath.

KRISTINA: Why is that?

MAX: Oh, because at Footpath, we can only have ice cream once a week. Here, we have it every day.

KRISTINA: Ah-ha! That's right.

[Crosby, Joel with Jabbar and Sydney coming up from behind.]

CROSBY: Oh, hey, look who it is. The Bravermans.


KRISTINA: First day of school. Are you so excited?

SYDNEY: Has your baby been kicking?

KRISTINA: A little bit.

JOEL: Good luck, Syd.

KRISTINA: Have a great morning. Bye, Jabbar.



JOEL: Bye, guys.


SYDNEY: Bye, Dad.

JABBAR: Bye, Dad.

JOEL: Wow. That's pretty cool, huh?

[Kristina looks worried for Max.]

[NEW SCENE - Julia approaches the coffee cart at work.]

JULIA: Okay. Let's see. Um... The French roast.

ZOE: Again?


ZOE: What do you have, a night job or something?

JULIA: No, I just like coffee. Lots of coffee. All kinds of coffee.

ZOE: Hey, can I ask you a-a legal question?


ZOE: Um, it's just, you know what, forget about it. I know that you're busy and...

JULIA: No, no.

ZOE: And I'm just like...

JULIA: It's fine.

ZOE: I can't, I'm sorry.

JULIA: Zoe. I said yes. What's up?

ZOE: All right, so, my landlord told me that I have to move out of my apartment. But the thing is I think he wants to just move his girlfriend's buddy into the building.

JULIA: Not cool.

ZOE: Right?

JULIA: Yeah.

ZOE: I knew that wasn't cool.

JULIA: It's not cool.

ZOE: Cool.

JULIA: Super uncool.

ZOE: Cool.

JULIA: Cool. Well, um, yeah. I can just draft a cease and desist letter for you. I can definitely help you with that.

ZOE: For real?

JULIA: Yeah.

ZOE: No, it's, you know, I don't have. I don't have the money to pay for that. So don't worry it. Forget I...

JULIA: Don't worry about it.

ZOE: I don't have the money for that.

JULIA: Not a problem.

ZOE: I can make payments.

JULIA: It's totally fine.

ZOE: I can pay you.

JULIA: Zoe, don't worry about it.

ZOE: I'll pay you.

JULIA: No, truly, don't worry about it. It's my pleasure.

ZOE: All right. Cool.

[NEW SCENE - Pancake House, Adam are Crosby seated at a table with Adam's laptop.]

ADAM: If you stick to your initial investment ,and if the first three months are secured by the artists you say are gonna follow you to this space, you, my friend, could be turning a profit by month four. [Crosby looks pleased.] But you gotta stick to that. This place has to live up to what you're promising it to be. And honestly, you know, looking around, it's pretty unique. And I think the idea of a boutique upscale recording studio is not the worst idea you've ever have.

CROSBY: That's awesome. Thank you, and I don't even understand all this. But this is amazing. So we're gonna do this?

ADAM: You are. I can't do this with you.

CROSBY: Well, wait. I don't understand. You're saying it's...

ADAM: Listen, I thought about it. But I have a real offer on the table right now.

CROSBY: Selling root beer?

ADAM: Yeah. And other soda and beer.

CROSBY: Come on, Adam.

ADAM: Look, it's a real offer, Crosby. I can't pass it up. I've got a house, I've got kids. I can't risk this.

CROSBY: Yeah, I have that too.

ADAM: Listen, I think this is a really interesting idea. I hope you do it, and I hope it works out for you, but I can't do it with you. I can't.

[NEW SCENE - 'Back to School Night'. Sarah walks the busy hall looking for someone. She comes to an open classroom door hearing a familiar voice.]

MARK: [Talking to a class full of parents.] I won't ask anyone to stand on their, their desk. [Laughter] Um... And then we're going into the romantics. Rest assured, I will not make it too romantic. They don't need any help in that department. I expect a lot from your kids, and I want them to work hard, but I also want them to have fun. [Sarah has an in-love smile as she watches Mark from the open door.] I get them for nine months, and I want them to look back on it with fun. It's because as my close, personal friend Emily Dickinson said, "That it will never...” [Pauses for a moment as he sees Sarah.] "…come again is what makes life so sweet." And, um...

[NEW SCENE - Braverman guesthouse, later that night. Sarah and Mark rush to unfold Sarah's couch bed and undress at the same time.]

SARAH: This is totally embarrassing, but it's just like...


SARAH: If we don't do it now, I feel like it could be more...

MARK: This is a good idea.

SARAH: Awkward later.

MARK: You're right.

SARAH: If you can imagine. I mean, who would know, you know, who would've known that it would be Emily Dickinson who would really [laughing] Make me feel hot?

MARK: I'm surprised at that too. 'Cause she... She died a virgin. I don't know why I said that. Please don't ask...

SARAH: [Giggles]

[Opening credits - featuring “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan]

[NEW SCENE - Braverman guesthouse. Morning, Sarah watches Mark sleep.]


SARAH: I don't think we should do that again. It didn't, it just didn't feel good, you know.

MARK: Yeah, I don't want, I just don't want to.

SARAH: Isn't it? You shouldn't feel bad.

MARK: Yeah. No, I'm…

SARAH: It's just that I don't have that, you know, connection.

MARK: I'm the worst. I know.

SARAH: No, no, no.

MARK: I know.

SARAH: It's me.

MARK: Yeah, it was, there was a little bit of you in there.

[Sarah laughs before they start to kiss.]

ZEEK: Sarah, hey.

SARAH: [Gasps]

ZEEK: [Whistling] Come on Sarah. Ah-hah.

SARAH: [Whispering to Mark.] That's my dad.

MARK: Really?

ZEEK: Sarah, come on out.

SARAH: It's my dad. Go hide, hide, hide.

MARK: What do I do? What do I do? [He falls out of the bed.]

SARAH: I'm, I'm coming, I'm coming.

ZEEK: What's going on in there?

SARAH: Nothing. Hold on.

ZEEK: Okay, holding. [Looking thought the partly open blind.] Oh, there's something you don't see every day. I'm not coming in. No way am I coming in.

[Mark hides under the bed as Sarah throws on a dressing gown.]


ZEEK: Hi. Treats. For your little sleepover, celebration.

SARAH: Oh, my God.

ZEEK: Yeah.

SARAH: Get out.

ZEEK: I brought a cup for your little friend there.

SARAH: I see that.

ZEEK: Your bed buddy. Hey, I didn't get any cream. You like cream? Hey!

MARK: I'm not, no sir. No, thank you, sir.

ZEEK: You like cream? [To Sarah] He's very white.

SARAH: What?

ZEEK: He doesn't have a tan.

SARAH: Dad, get out of here.

ZEEK: Kind of skinny.

SARAH: Oh, my God.

ZEEK: This is me leaving.

[Sarah gets back on the bed with a cup off coffee.]

SARAH: Are you under there? Are you okay?

MARK: Yeah.

SARAH: You totally didn't have to hide it. It's just an old reflex, you know.

MARK: That was a p-proud moment for me. I feel like that's a right of passage.

SARAH: You were fast, man, you were like...

MARK: I was, I didn't know I'd be scared.

SARAH: You've run before.

[They laugh.]

MARK: I have run before.

[NEW SCENE - Morning, Adam looking at the R&B Distributors catalogue for his possible new job.]

KRISTINA: Hi, honey.

ADAM: Morning.

KRISTINA: You're up early.

ADAM: Yup.

KRISTINA: Mm-hmm. What you doin'?

ADAM: I am thinking about what if I don't take this job.

KRISTINA: I thought you said that you were going to?

ADAM: I just keep turning it over in my head, I, beverage distribution.

KRISTINA: I'd buy a beverage from you.

ADAM: It's just not a very inspired career choice.

KRISTINA: I know it's just until you find something a little more inspiring, that's all.

ADAM: That's true. That's a good point. I have to let them know by Wednesday.

KRISTINA: Okay. Whatever you wanna do.

ADAM: No, I should do it. I should take it.

[NEW SCENE - Alex and Haddie talking to Julia at her home.]

JULIA: So, Alex, this guy's name is Craig David. He's a very competent young attorney who does pro bono work for his firm. So I talked him about your case, and he said to call him.

ALEX: Wait, so you can't help? I thought you would be able to do this?

JULIA: I don't, I don't practice criminal law. But, um, you know. He's great, and I will be there. It's just that the parents are pressing charges for assault and battery, and that's just not my area of expertise.

ALEX: Yeah, I get it.

JULIA: You know.

ALEX: Mm-hmm.

JULIA: It's gonna be okay.

ALEX: Sure. Thank you so much for, for this. Haddie, I should probably get you to school, it's getting kind of late.


ALEX: I appreciate it.

JULIA: Of course. Hey, Haddie. Have a good first day of senior year.

HADDIE: Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Thanks. Um-- is this really serious?

JULIA: Yeah, it's kind of serious.

HADDIE: Okay. Could he go to jail?

JULIA: Possibly.


JULIA: Have you talked to your parents about this? [Shakes her head.] As soon as you can.

HADDIE: Right, yeah I know. Okay. Thank you. Again, thank you.

JULIA: Of course. Of course.


[NEW SCENE - Sycamore Charter Elementary, Max's classroom.]

MS MCKENDO: So the big social studies project we're gonna be doing is we're gonna be studying the California Missions. You'll have a long term project due in about four weeks.

MAX: [Out loud to the student next to him.] You're not supposed to write in the book.

STELLA: I'm not.


MAX: Yes, you are.

MS MCKENDO: Can you please raise your hand if you wanna say something?

MAX: She's writing in her book, and she's not supposed to do that.

STELLA: No, I'm not. I'm not writing in my book.

MS MCKENDO: Okay. Okay sweetie.

MAX: Yes, you are. And you're not supposed to, because it's in the rules.

STELLA: No, I'm not.

MS MCKENDO: Okay, Max. Listen, we'll deal with this later. It's also in the rules that you don't talk out in class. Right Max? Right Max?

MAX: Mm-hmm.

MS MCKENDO: Okay. So let's talk about the Missions.

STELLA: Freak.

MS MCKENDO: Does anybody know how many Missions there were?

MAX: 21. And there still are 21. It's not past. That's the correct answer.

MS MCKENDO: But can you raise your hand, please, before you give the answer? What is the name of the man who started the Missions? Yes?

STELLA: Father Serra.

MAX: Father Junipero Serra.

MS MCKENDO: Very good.

MAX: She was wrong. There could be plenty of people whose last names were Serra and were also priests.

MS MCKENDO: But there probably weren't too many of those...

MAX: It was a very common last name.

MS MCKENDO: Okay, who knows the name of the highway that they were on?

MAX: El Camino Real.

MS MCKENDO: That's a correct answer, Max. But again, you raised your hand.

MAX: Yes.

MS MCKENDO: But I need to call on you before you answer.

MAX: So, you should've specified that. You just said I needed to raise my hand.

MS MCKENDO: I, I did specify. I said...

MAX: No you said, you just said raise your hand.


MAX: I don't get why we have to raise our hands, because if you were in a real conversation...

MS MCKENDO: Okay, listen, we're gonna...

MAX: Then you wouldn't, like, raise hand every time you wanted to contribute something in that conversation. You would just go...

MS MCKENDO: Max Braverman, we will talk about this later.

[NEW SCENE - Alex and Haddie talk to her parents at home.]

HADDIE: I was drinking at the party, and ah, Alex came to pick me up. There was a misunderstanding. The guy, Zach, whose house it is, thought that Alex was bothering me, and he was being really rude. He pushed Alex, so, and it was really messy, and Alex punched him. They got into a fight. It wasn't huge. It was over quickly. It was my fault.

ALEX: No, listen. I take full responsibility. Okay, it was my fault. I shouldn't have reacted. I shouldn't have punched the guy.

KRISTINA: Okay, I actually don't even know what to say to you both right now.

HADDIE: I have to tell you also that the family is gonna press charges of assault and battery.


ADAM: Do you have a lawyer?

ALEX: Yeah. But I don't want you to worry about that, okay? I'm handling it. We, we thought that you guys needed to know.

[NEW SCENE - Max's bedroom, Max is lying down, Kristina is next to him on the bed.]

KRISTINA: Buddy? Come on...

MAX: I'm awake.

KRISTINA: It's time to get up for school, we gotta go. Max... Are you excited about going back to school today? How do you feel?

MAX: [Sighs]

KRISTINA: Do you like your teacher? Is she nice?

MAX: I thought you already asked me this stuff last night.

KRISTINA: You're right. I know, I did. I did. I'm just, just wondering. Do you like it as much as Footpath?

MAX: I don't know. It's okay.

KRISTINA: How about friends? Have you made any new friends? I'm sure there were a lot of nice kids there that are just like...

MAX: Mom. I don't know.

KRISTINA: Wanting to hang out with you.

MAX: No, no. Can I have my breakfast now?

KRISTINA: Sure. I'll get your breakfast.

[NEW SCENE - Adam walks up to Crosby's house and knocks on door. Loud music is playing inside.]


ADAM: This is why I can't trust you, Crosby. This is why you scare me.

CROSBY: It's because of how I'm dressed?

ADAM: I just got a call from some guy at my home telling me about a meeting we're having tomorrow to discuss the lease for the space and calling me a partner.

CROSBY: Oh, that.

ADAM: All right. I'm not your partner, okay? I specifically told you, I can't do this with you.

CROSBY: You ran a successful business for 15 years. It looks great on an application. It's not a big deal. I just gave them your work history and your soc--

ADAM: Wait a minute. You gave them my social security number? Where did you get my social security number?

CROSBY: From dad. Where I always get it.

ADAM: You've done this before?

CROSBY: Of course, I have.

ADAM: I can't believe you've done this.

CROSBY: Look at you.

ADAM: This is exactly why I didn't want to go into business with you.

CROSBY: Oh, why? 'Cause I'm committed to making this thing happen? I don't wanna blow this opportunity, Adam. I see something in that building, okay?

ADAM: Mm-hmm.

CROSBY: It's a place where the past and the present come together over a lunch counter in Haight-Ashbury and magic can happen there. I just need you to come and meet the landlord with me. There are other companies that want the space, and I gotta convince him and you're, you have that thing. People trust you.

ADAM: Well, there's a reason why they trust me, Crosby. I'm trustworthy.

CROSBY: I know that. You've got that, and-and I need it. Just come with me and talk about the numbers that way you did in the Pancake House. Somehow, you made that sound exciting, and then you don't have to have anything to do with it ever again. As soon as I get the lease, your name will come off of it and that'll be that.

[NEW SCENE - Night, Julia and Joel clean up the table after dinner.

JULIA: Hey, honey.

JOEL: Yeah.

JULIA: Um, you know, how I was joking about asking the Latte girl if we could have her baby?

JOEL: [Laughs] Yeah.

JULIA: Um, what if I did?

JOEL: Did what?

JULIA: What if I asked her if we could have her baby? She told me she doesn't want it. She was giving it up. And we do want it.

JOEL: Wait, wait. What are you saying?

JULIA: I'm saying I want, I wanna ask her.

JOEL: Honey, you can't walk up to somebody you work with and say, "Excuse me, if you aren't using that baby, can we have it?"

JULIA: Why not?

JOEL: Why not? Okay. Honey, we don't, we know nothing about this girl.

JULIA: I do. I know her.

JOEL: Okay. How?

JULIA: She's lovely.

JOEL: She's lovely. Good.

JULIA: She's, she's smart and beautiful and so young...

JOEL: And great at making Lattes. You don't know genetic make-up. You don't know what this girl has been through. She could be a crack addict...

JULIA: She's not a crack addict.

JOEL: We could be crack addicts. She knows nothing about us.

JULIA: Well, you can meet her. I can easily arrange that.

JOEL: No. It's not how's it done.

JULIA: Well, can you think outside the box here? This is falling in our laps.

JOEL: I can't think outside the box on this one.

JULIA: This is, it's an amazing opportunity, babe. Can you consider it?

JOEL: No. You just, you just can't go rogue on me and hammer out a deal at the coffee cart. That's crazy, Julia. [Pause as Julia thinks.] You know that's crazy, right? We're going to get a baby. We're gonna get our baby. But we're gonna do it through the proper channels. We're gonna do it the right way, and you just have to be patient here. Okay?

JULIA: Okay.

[NEW SCENE - Night, Romantic restaurant background chatter as we focus on Sarah and Mark eating and talking.]

MARK: No, that's what, yeah, actually I was about 45 minutes early tonight. I just hid around.

SARAH: What?

MARK: The corner.

SARAH: You did?

MARK: And waited in my car until it seemed appropriate.

SARAH: You waited in the car?

MARK: Yeah.

SARAH: Oh, no.

MARK: Well, I have...

SARAH: What did you do?

MARK: I have, I have things to do. I was listening to the radio and…

SARAH: What did you do?

MARK: You know, caught up on current events and things like that.

SARAH: [Laughter]

[Short time later]

SARAH: I was always think it runs in the family so it's not my fault, you know.

MARK: Tardiness?

SARAH: Me and Crosby, we struggle.

MARK: Not so much.

SARAH: It's not our fault.

MARK: It's not your fault. My brother's always, well, my brother gets there exactly on time.

SARAH: Oh yeah?

MARK: So I pretend like I am my brother.

SARAH: Your older brother?

MARK: Yeah my older brother.

SARAH: Okay.

MARK: Who's getting married actually this December.

SARAH: Oh, his first…

MARK: Yeah, his first.

SARAH: He's like 30-something, right?

MARK: Yeah, 32. Yeah, his first.

SARAH: Good. That's good.

MARK: Yeah.

SARAH: I'm glad.

MARK: He's the first one and, yeah, they're doing it in Cabo. And they've, they have given me a plus one so, if you wanna go, it's in December you would...

SARAH: [Taken back.] Yeah. I mean, we...We'll...

MARK: Yeah, there's a lot of time to figure out.

SARAH: No, no, it was just a long time from now. I'm not sure what we're gonna be doing in December, you know.

MARK: No, of course.

SARAH: In the month of December. That's really nice.

MARK: Absolutely.

SARAH: Thank you. That could be fun.

MARK: They're, um... It'll be there.

[NEW SCENE - Night, Alex saying good night to Haddie at her front door.]

HADDIE: Great.

ALEX: Yeah?

HADDIE: Yeah. Good movie, good walk. Thank you.

ALEX: It was, it was a great night.

HADDIE: Mm-hmm.

ALEX: I got a chance to think.

HADDIE: Um, so tomorrow, am I, am I gonna go with you to the lawyer?

ALEX: No Haddie, you can't. For what?

HADDIE: You're like feeling scared or worried or something. I would wanna be there like, to help however I can.

ALEX: You've been there for me, all right? And-and you've been helping me so much just by spending time with me and just hanging out and just taking my mind off of it. And that, that means the world to me.


ALEX: All right? Let me just do this myself, okay? There's something I just need to get through, and I'll tell you about it later. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, okay?


ALEX: All right?

HADDIE: Okay. Yeah, if you need to, yeah.

ALEX: Tell me you love me?

HADDIE: Okay, I love you.

ALEX: Can you give me a kiss?

HADDIE: Okay. [They kiss.] Good night.

ALEX: Good night.

HADDIE: Good luck.

ALEX: Thank you.

[NEW SCENE - Adam and Kristina are getting ready for bed.]

KRISTINA: Hey, honey.

ADAM: Yeah.

KRISTINA: Max's teacher hasn't emailed me back yet. I mean, this is ridiculous.

ADAM: Well, how many emails have you sent her?

KRISTINA: Like seven. I mean, some response would be nice. I'm just really...

ADAM: Seven and tomorrow is Max's fourth day of school?

KRISTINA: I just want to know what's going on. Like, she hasn't contacted me about anything, she knows he has Asperger's.

ADAM: Mm-hmm.

KRISTINA: He's not like the other kids at school and I'm worried. I just feel like it's everything right now. You know, it's not just Max and the new school. I feel like it's my job and I'm worrying about. I'm just worried about your job, and I'm worried about Haddie, and I'm worried about the baby.

ADAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay.

KRISTINA: I'm not doing so great mentally right now.

ADAM: Okay.

KRISTINA: I'm just hormonal and I'm just… if she could just email me back, I would feel a little better.

ADAM: All right, okay.

KRISTINA: [Exhales] I'm unraveling a little bit. That's all.

ADAM: Hey, I'm making the call. I'm taking the job, I'll start next week.

KRISTINA: Honey, you don't have to do that. I know it's not your dream job, it's just, I'm...

ADAM: We're having a baby, you know. It's work, it's a paycheck. I gotta take the job. It's the right thing to do. You don't have to feel bad about it. You know what, it'll be okay. It'll be okay, all right?

[NEW SCENE - Sarah and Mark kissing as the sit in his car outside the Braverman house.]

MARK: Um, should I, should I park this somewhere down the street?

SARAH: Um, I would love to, but I, I forgot. I was just thinking of it that I have a deadline for my writing class tomorrow.

MARK: Okay.

SARAH: So, maybe not tonight.

MARK: No problem.

SARAH: I'm sorry.

MARK: No, you don't have to apologize. I know that the timing wasn't right two years ago, but it seems like the timing is right now for me at least. And I just, I guess I wanted to let you know that this side of the car is ready now, and I don't know about that side of the car. About it or anything. I just wanted you know that I'm in.

SARAH: I don't know. [Hesitant] I don't know why, but I just don't know. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?

MARK: Okay.

SARAH: Thank you again.

MARK: Yeah.

SARAH: Yeah.

[Sarah gets out before Mark starts the car. He waves as he drives off, Sarah is clearly unsure as to what she wants.]

[NEW SCENE - School, the bell rings and Haddie is walking to the lockers.]

HADDIE: Zach, hi.

ZACH: Hey.

HADDIE: Um... I'm so sorry. I'm, I'm so sorry. I can't believe that that happened. It was a complete misunderstanding. Alex is so sorry, okay? He feels terrible.

ZACH: Okay.

HADDIE: I can understand that you're mad, and you can be mad. I just feel like there's probably another way that we could work this out other than like pressing charges just because, you know, he could go to jail. It doesn't feel like it was that bad of a thing and I'm sorry.

ZACH: Look, if it was up to me, I would drop the charges in a second, okay? But my parents are really pissed.

HADDIE: Did you explain, like, the circumstances?

ZACH: Yeah, yeah. Dude has a record.

HADDIE: He doesn't have a record.

ZACH: Yeah, he does actually. Attempted murder and robbery.

HADDIE: Sorry. I know Alex, and he wouldn't do that. And he doesn't have a record.

ZACH: Well, maybe he wouldn't, but he did.

[NEW SCENE - School bell rings again, this time at Max's school, it's lunch time.]

MAX: Hi. I'm Max Braverman. [He puts out his hand and smiles, but gets no response.] I looked you in the eye. [He walks away.]

BOY: What his problem?

[NEW SCENE - Braverman house, exterior, Sarah sits next to Camille.

SARAH: What are you reading?


SARAH: You probably heard I had a visitor the other night.

CAMILLE: Yep. I heard.

SARAH: I like him.

CAMILLE: That's nice.

SARAH: And he's 28.

CAMILLE: Yeah, 28 is kind of young.

SARAH: He was two years old when The Breakfast Club came out.

CAMILLE: Wow, was that long ago?

SARAH: Yeah, yeah. And we're in the car the other night, and I know music, I'm not, you know, but he's playing this stuff called Naked Kids. I've never even heard about them.

CAMILLE: You've never heard of Naked Kids?

SARAH: You have?

CAMILLE: Look, these are not legitimate concerns of movies and music groups. What's the real deal?

SARAH: I mean, I should be with someone my own age, don't you think?

CAMILLE: Maybe. Not necessarily. You know, if you were with someone who was 40, he could be twice divorced and have five kids, you know. I mean, there, there could always be an issue if you wanted to make an issue. Relax. Have a good time. You know, enjoy yourself, you know?

SARAH: Who can do that?

CAMILLE: What's stopping you? What's stopping you?

[NEW SCENE - Braverman shed, Adam talks to Zeek at he works.]

ADAM: How did Crosby convince you to give him my social security number?

ZEEK: [Turning the lathe off.] What?

ADAM: Why did you give Crosby my social security number?

ZEEK: Oh. Well, he said he needed it.

ADAM: All right. Well, listen. You know what he did with it? He put my name down on a loan application with that information. He implicated me as partner in his new business.


ADAM: Yeah.

ZEEK: Really?

ADAM: Okay, so I need your help here. I need you to just remind me of all the ways that Crosby is a screw up, okay?

[Zeek gets two beers from the small fridge.]

ZEEK: He's impulsive. I mean, my gosh, he thinks everybody feels the same way about stuff that he does, and if he finds out that you're on a different page than he is, what you...

ADAM: Totally different page.

ZEEK: He gets upset.

ADAM: Yeah. Like a little baby.

ZEEK: That kid has manage to lose every tool I've ever owned.

ADAM: Not surprising.

ZEEK: He goes through women like cotton candy.

ADAM: Dad, don't forget he slept with my son's behavioral aide. And, you know, every time we go out for a meal, guess who has to pick up the check.

ZEEK: You do?

ADAM: I do.

ZEEK: When he was 16, he stole my car, he bashed it into a garbage can.

ADAM: Remember this?

ZEEK: Tears the bumper off. Guess who ends up paying for it?

ADAM: You?

ZEEK: Yeah, me.

ADAM: Sure.

ZEEK: Why?

ADAM: He's not gonna pay for it.

ZEEK: You never paid for it.

ADAM: You know what? He takes stuff without asking.

ZEEK: Give it back, no.

ADAM: Borrows money, doesn't pay it back. And you know what really bothers me? This is kind of crazy, but sometimes, you know, he wears the same shirt two days in a row.

ZEEK: Yeah. Well, I do that.

ADAM: Yeah. Well, yeah, well, you know, I mean unless your camping, it's kinda gross.

ZEEK: Um-hmm.

ADAM: Anyway...

ZEEK: Boy. Son, I got to tell you, I understand perfectly, completely of why you wouldn't go into business with him.

ADAM: Yeah, and yet you give him my social security number.

ZEEK: It just seemed to mean so much to him. When he told me, I swear to God, he had tears in his eyes.

ADAM: You suck, Dad. You suck. [Walks off.]

ZEEK: Now, you say hello to you mother.

ADAM: Yeah.

ZEEK: And I'll be out here.

ADAM: Oh, yeah.

[NEW SCENE - Kristina has parked her car and is talking on her cell phone.]

KRISTINA: [Getting out of the car.] I got stuck in some traffic coming from the press conference. Uh-huh. Yeah, I probably about 20 minutes. Okay, thanks.

[She watched Max sit alone and reading at lunch.]

[NEW SCENE - Julia's office, she talks to Zoe.]

JULIA: It very clearly states that you have the apartment through January 2012, so this will be no problem.

ZOE: [Sighs] That's huge. My life is such a train wreck right now. I was really hoping sleeping on the streets wasn't gonna be part of it. [Sighs]

JULIA: I'm sure what you're doing is not easy.

ZOE: I'm not the first dumbass to get knocked up when she wasn't supposed to, so I can't feel too bad for myself. I was raised Catholic. Uh-hmm. I guess I'm not anymore, but, you know, at the end of the day, you still hear the hymns.

JULIA: No, I kind of wish that I had a religion. We weren't raised with anything specific.

ZEEK: The agency form I filled out asked if I had a preference for the adopted parents' religion...

JULIA: Uh-hmm.

ZOE: And I just kept thinking none.

JULIA: You're working with an agency?

ZOE: Yeah. I guess there's already some huge waiting list for babies. I guess some people have trouble getting pregnant.

JULIA: Yeah. Yeah. I guess so.

ZOE: Are you okay? Do you need some water or something?

JULIA: No. Um, I don't know. I'm hungry or something, I think I've skipped lunch.

ZOE: I can go steal you some from the cart.

JULIA: No, no, no.

ZOE: No one's gonna notice. It's okay, trust me.

JULIA: I, let me just take one more look at your lease, and then I'll give it back to you, and we'll be good.

[NEW SCENE - Class room, Kristina knocks on desk as she enters the room.]

MS MCKENDO: Hey, Kristina.

KRISTINA: Hi, Ms. McKendo. How are you doing?

MS MCKENDO: I'm good.

KRISTINA: I just, I wanted to see if I could talk to you for a couple of minutes. I brought a coffee...

MS MCKENDO: No, I gotta go.

KRISTINA: Thought we could speak for a second. I sent you a couple of emails.

MS MCKENDO: Oh, nine, I think.

KRISTINA: Regarding Max, I know that's a lot for four days but I just really wanted to talk with you about Max's progress.


KRISTINA: I brought us a coffee.

MS MCKENDO: No, I know.

KRISTINA: I thought we could sit and take a moment just to talk.

MS MCKENDO: Listen, I'm gonna get to those. I'm gonna get to all my emails tonight. I'll get to it, tonight. Okay, great.

KRISTINA: You know what, please. Please, I just, I really would like to talk to you for just, it'll take five minutes. That's it.

MS MCKENDO: I know, okay, okay.


MS MCKENDO: All right. Sit, sit down. Let's...

KRISTINA: If I weren't worried, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have barged in like this. But Max's dad and I took a huge, huge leap of faith by sending him to the school and mainstreaming him.

MS MCKENDO: Right. Well, why did you mainstream him?

KRISTINA: Well, what do you mean? Do you think it was a bad idea? Because I fought my husband on it for a little while.

MS MCKENDO: No, no, I don't, I'm not saying it was a bad idea, I'm asking why you did it.

KRISTINA: So he could be academically challenged.

MS MCKENDO: And he will be. He's extremely bright.

MS MCKENDO: I just, I worry because. I'm gonna sound like a weirdo, but I actually left work yesterday just to sort of spy on him, just to see how he was doing, and coping, and I'm worried about him socially and I came to school, and I saw him sitting on, on the table by himself at lunch time. And I just get a little concern. I know I sound like a total freak, and I'm just, I'm very emotional because of hormones and...

MS MCKENDO: You're not freak. It's, you're just gonna have to get a little more comfortable with having less control.

KRISTINA: That's gonna be really hard for me.


KRISTINA: Could I maybe get your home number? [Laughs] I'm just kidding. I wouldn't do that to you. I mean.

MS MCKENDO: I'll try to be a little more...


MS MCKENDO: Answer the emails a little quicker.


MS MCKENDO: He'll be fine!

[NEW SCENE - Julia's office, Zoe's knocks on the door frame.]

ZOE: Ahem.


ZOE: Hey. Um, so, I gave my landlord that letter, and he completely backed off. Like, I'd never seen him so terrified. [Laughs] So, um, I got you a free coffee. It's not quite free legal advice, but it's good with a doughnut.

JULIA: [Laughs] Well, I'm glad I could help, and thank you very much for the coffee.

ZOE: If, if there's ever anything I can do for, for you, I mean, I know some pretty cool Capoeira moves, you know.

JULIA: That maybe could come in handy, thanks.

ZEEK: Taekwondo? I guess, I'm just, thank you.

[There is an awkward pause, Zoe's turns and starts to leave the office.]

JULIA: Zoe... Would you ever consider letting me adopt your baby?

ZOE: Um... No.

[NEW SCENE - Music Studio, Crosby leads the way as he takes the landlord or a tour of the studio, Adam follows behind.]

CROSBY: Our plan is to try to hang onto as much of these furnishings as possible because it's so authentic and then, oh, we where gonna try to make this functional again. Make grilled cheeses and malts, that kind of thing, you know, so the musicians have something to snack on in between…

JAY: Guys, I am gotta be honest with you. I've just got a great offer from another developer and he's pretty solid.

ADAM: Really?

CROSBY: Well, this is a pretty unique space. What are they planning on doing?

JAY: They got pretty much ripped everything out and put in office space.

CROSBY: Are you kidding, you're not kidding? That's, that's a terrible idea. You can't let them do that.

JAY: Ah, excuse me.

ADAM: He didn't mean it like that exactly.

CROSBY: No, no. I mean, I know I mean that.

ADAM: I'm pretty sure you didn't.

JAY: I do have another meeting to get to, gentlemen.

CROSBY: Okay. I'll make this really quick. You own a historical treasure.

JAY: Dude, people in real estate don't like to hear the word, historical.

CROSBY: Okay. Okay, so what we would like to do is take this non-historical site and reinvent what it was. You know, update everything, make it digital, but hold on to that essence that brought all of these amazing, amazing bands here. I've been a sound engineer for 10 years. I know what I'm doing. I'm good. And I've commitments from a lot of artists that wanna follow me over here.

JAY: It's, it is very romantic and appealing, but this other developer has a really solid long-term plan, and I gotta be smart here, guys.

ADAM: Well, I think this is the smart financial thing. Now I've run T&S footwear for 15 years at a profit, and I believe in this. This is a great idea. This is the right space, it's the right time, it's the right idea, it's the right way to use it. You just get to see it. You just gotta look round. You gotta see what he's talking about. Now, would you rather be a part of a bunch of office space and cubicles and I don't know what would go on here, but I'm sure you've gonna have a lot more turnover with whatever that situation is than if this was recording studio. We're not leaving. We're here to lease this space and make our business work.

[Crosby smiles.]

[NEW SCENE - Alex's apartment, they are in the kitchen area.]

HADDIE: It's kinda stupid to even have to ask you this, but, um... you don't have a criminal record. I mean, that's ridiculous, right? [Alex doesn't speak.] Alex, I don't know how you couldn't have told me that.

ALEX: [Emotional] Haddie, you have no clue. You have no idea what I went through. Those years I was in trouble, things that I'm ashamed of. Haddie, I picked up my dad's gun and tried to rob a liquor store, okay? Because I had no money, I had no food. I had no alcohol. I need, needed it. Haddie, I didn't… I was so low. And I was so weak. I didn't know what to do. If I would've been honest, up front, would you have still dated me? Would you have still been here? Haddie, could you've, could you have loved me? No, you wouldn't have looked twice at me. Why? Because when people hear that, it defines you. That's it. There is no second chances. I didn't, I didn't wanna lose you. And I can't, I can't, I can't lose you. Haddie, I don't have anybody else.

[Haddie hugs Alex.]

[NEW SCENE - Amber's apartment, Sarah enters.]

SARAH: Honey, why is door open?

AMBER: I left it open. Oh, hi.


AMBER: What's going on?

SARAH: I brought you some stuff.


SARAH: [Sighs] I just brought you some, you know, stuff that I thought you might use.

AMBER: That's cool.

SARAH: Wow, it's really, um...

AMBER: Shaping up, huh?

SARAH: Yeah. Oh, wow.

AMBER: [Holding the duck.] Let me just put this over here...

SARAH: Allow me.

AMBER: Close to you because I know how you, how you feel about him.

SARAH: So, um... [Breathes deeply] I've something I wanna tell you.

AMBER: Okay?

SARAH: I love you. That's the most important thing. I don't want your feelings to be hurt, no matter what. Everything's gonna be okay.

AMBER: What is this? Wait, are you sick? Are you dying?

SARAH: No. That's your reaction? You're wouldn't be more upset or...

AMBER: You have to give me time, I mean it...

SARAH: [Giggles]

AMBER: I need to process, shock.

SARAH: No, it's nothing like that. I, um...

AMBER: What?

SARAH: I'm starting, starting to ah... fall in love with somebody, and, um, I just feel sensitive about it because it's Mr. Cyr. It's Mark. I didn't want you to have hurt feelings about it.

AMBER: Mom, don't. God, don't worry about it. It's more than okay. It's amazing.

SARAH: Does it seem weird that, you know, it's so different?

AMBER: God, mom. For God's sakes, you're amazing and wonderful and beautiful and great and like, hotter than, you know, anyone my age that I know. So, he's lucky to be with you for sure.

SARAH: Listen to me. You guys have first dibs though, you know. I mean, you and your brother, you're always number one. Unless I have a date, 'cause then, I gotta put you number two.

AMBER: Good job. I think that's fair.

SARAH: [Giggles]

AMBER: I think I've done that to you a time or two, so I guess we're even. Does this mean I can call him Mark now, too?

[NEW SCENE - School lockers, Mark sees Sarah waiting for him.]

SARAH: [Smiling] I'm in.

MARK: [Smiling] Damn the torpedoes?

SARAH: Damn 'em.

[NEW SCENE - Crosby enters Adam's house.]

ADAM: Hey. What's up? Pretty happy.

CROSBY: It's my victory dance.

ADAM: Yeah?

CROSBY: You did it.

ADAM: Yeah?

CROSBY: I got the lease.

ADAM: You got the lease?

CROSBY: I got the lease.

ADAM: Excellent. We did it.

CROSBY: I could not have done it without you.

ADAM: All right. Congratulations.

CROSBY: [Shaking hands] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

ADAM: You bet.

CROSBY: I don't know what to do other than to never bother you again with any recording studio business, ever again.

ADAM: That's okay. You could bother me.

CROSBY: Oh, are you sure?

ADAM: [Pause before answering.] Yeah.

CROSBY: Are you sure?

ADAM: Listen, I think might wanna, I think I maybe changed my mind. I think I might wanna do this with you. I'm saying, would you reconsider being...


ADAM: Being partners?


ADAM: Yeah?

CROSBY: Are, for real though?

ADAM: Yeah.

CROSBY: What about the root bear company?

ADAM: I can't, I can't do it.

CROSBY: So we're gonna do this?

ADAM: I gotta call them and I gotta…

CROSBY: W-w-wait.

ADAM: What?

CROSBY: You and me? Partners? We're gonna do this?

ADAM: Yeah. Look, I, look…

CROSBY: Well, get excited!

ADAM: I am. I am excited. I am exited, all right. I don't want you to get me wrong, I am excited.

CROSBY: Okay. This is gonna be magic.

ADAM: But I want you to know, I'm doing this because I believe in you, okay? But I also believe in this idea. So you gotta trust me when it comes to the business side of things, all right? And I'm not doing all the work.

CROSBY: You just made my whole year.

ADAM: Don't make me regret this, all right? And don't tell Kristina. I haven't, you know, she doesn't know anything about this, okay? And I gotta let, I gotta break this to her softly…

CROSBY: Gently.

ADAM: Gently. Exactly.

CROSBY: To the luncheonette.

ADAM: To the luncheonette.

CROSBY: To the luncheonette!

ADAM: All right.

CROSBY: Partners.

ADAM: Partners. You and me.

CROSBY: Modern day Ringling Brothers. [Excited] Come on.

ADAM: I'm so excited. Are you ready?

CROSBY: Yes, sure, yes... Are you ready for this?

ADAM: Braverman and Braverman.

CROSBY: On three.

TOGETHER: Wooh. [Laughter]

[NEW SCENE - Max's school, lunch time and he's reading alone again. Jabbar and two friends come over.]

JABBAR: Look, there's my cousin over there. He'll know this. Come on.


DANNY: Do you know how to get to the Jade Forest without going through the avalanche?

JENSEN: Oh, and you know how to flip the bridge away from the bad guys?

JABBAR: How do you find the strongest weapon?

JENSEN: How do you climb the tree that's really tall?

MAX: [Pauses for a few moment before putting out his hand.] I'm Max Braverman.

DANNY: I'm Danny.

JENSEN: And I'm Jensen.

MAX: Okay, so here's what you do. So you can only go to the mountain path if you know to drink water from the spring. And once you do that, when you go around the bender, will be Ada the Heartless, that you should probably defeat with Wayfinder.

JABBAR: See, he knows everything about videogames. He's like a genius.

MAX: And so what the thing with the Jade Forest, you go around the mountain, use the tools...

[Camera pulls out as Max continues to talk to his new friends].

Episode End
3.02 - Hey, If You're Not Using That Baby
Original Airdate (NBC) September 20, 2011
Written by Kerry Ehrin
Directed by Lawrence Trilling

Transcribed by Craig Best
Original subtitles from www.addic7ed.com

Please Don't Use Without Permission!

This is a transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, some settings have been added where needed along with actions and/or camera movements where I felt they were necessary. "PARENTHOOD" and other related entities are owned, their respective companies and no copyright infringement is intended..
All Rights Reserved. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain.