7.18 - Hay Bale Maze (149)
This was transcribed by MissMarie01@FanForum

7.18 – Directors cut clip - 3:03 – cwtv.com/video

Taylor: If everybody will please take their seats I’ll call this meeting to order.

Lorelai: Well I guess we better...

Luke: See you later.

Lorelai: Kay!

Taylor: Now I am aware that a small but vocal minority of you have expressed concern about the progress of this years spring fling festival I will like to take this time to assure you that everything is going as planned.

[Outrage. Everyone begins talking amongst themselves.]

Sookie: So, how was it with Luke?

Lorelai: Uhm, Polite. Succinct. Fine

Sookie: Mm, good.

Lorelai: Yeah.

Taylor: There's nothing to worry about.

Babette: But what about our booths we don't have our booths?!

Taylor: Everything is under control; take for instance the hay bale maze is coming out wonderfully.

Luke: It's taking over the whole town.

Taylor: What do you mean?

Jackson: There's hay everywhere! I haven't seen so much hay since... I have never in my life seen so much hay!

Everyone: Yeah!

Taylor: Everyone please take a handful of chill pills.

Gypsy: Where the hell is my damn lemonade booth

Taylor: You don't need to worry about your lemonade booth.

Gypsy: Why not? The festival is tomorrow. And I have to start squeezing my lemons and I don't have my equipment or my booth!

Taylor: You don't have to worry about that Gypsy because you don't need to squeeze lemons because you don't need lemonade because there isn't going to be a lemonade booth this year.


Gypsy: What?!

Taylor: The budget for the lemonade booth has been reallocated to the hay bale maze.

Babette: What about Mory's salty nuts?! How is he suppose to have his salty nuts booth if we don't have a lemonade booth? If people start eating salty nuts and they don't have easy access to lemonade their mouths will fall off.

Taylor: Well, you don't have to worry about that Babette because there is not going to be a salty nuts booth because the budget for the salty nuts booth has been reallocated to the hay bale maze.

[Outrage. Everyone begins talking amongst themselves.] "What?!"

Lorelai: He spent the entire budget on the hay bale maze.

Sookie: No.

Taylor: I put the entire budget into the hay bale maze.

Sookie: No!

Lorelai: Taylor, you can't do that I have an Inn full of guest who've come here, travel miles, withstood winter, who've blow dried their tongues of their swing sets so that they could get to the spring fling!

Taylor: Yes!

Lorelai: They expect certain things, the traditional events, pie eating contests, pony rides, they don't want just a hay bale maze and nothing else.

Taylor: Feast your eyes on this bad boy. *unveils a 3D Maze diagram.*

Miss Patty: Taylor!

Luke: That goes right up to my diner; it's blocking my entire diner!

Babette: I don't get it, is it a race?

Taylor: You people clearly don't understand the long and rich history of mazes. Ladies and gentlemen of Stars Hollow perhaps this, will help *unveils Kirk in a costume, with a "Minitor" head.*

[Shock. Everyone talks amongst themselves.]

Lorelai: Oh my god!

Gypsy: What the hell is that?

A costumed Kirk: I am the Minitor!

Lorelai: The weird thing is he's been in that head under that velvet cloth this whole time.

Kirk: Although the word labyrinth is used interchangeably with maze, maze scholars insist on a distinction

Babette: Ey Kirk? What's with the cow's head?

[Laughter. People begin standing up to leave as Kirk continues talking and Taylor gives "come on people" looks.]

Kirk: A labyrinth is a universal maze, a maze without branches, without choices. A maze on the other hand can be very confusing. There are choices to be made, blind allies down which to proceed. Now the first maze in recorded history...


Written by: Rebecca Rand Kirshner
Directed by: Steve Clancy

Transcribed by MissMarie01

This is a transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, some settings have been added where needed along with actions and/or camera movements where I felt they were necessary.
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