written by Amy Sherman-Palladino
directed by Gail Mancuso
transcript by Stacy
OPEN AT ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[Lorelai, Richard and Emily are sitting in the living room]
LORELAI: Mom, I swear, it was Aunt Maureen.
EMILY: Aunt Maureen would never hike up her skirt in public.
LORELAI: She would after half a gallon of eggnog.
EMILY: Richard, who was the one who got drunk at our Christmas party and hiked up her skirt in front of the Town and Country photographer?
RICHARD: Im sorry, did you say something?
LORELAI: I dont know about you, Mom, but Ive never felt so fascinating in my entire life.
[Rory walks in]
RORY: Im so sorry Im late. Hi Grandma, Hi Grandma.
RICHARD: Hello Rory.
LORELAI: Oh, now he closes the paper.
RORY: Hey, Mom, I stopped by the bookstore on the way here.
LORELAI: You got them?
RORY: I got em!
EMILY: Got what?
LORELAI: Rory and I are starting to plan our Europe trip.
RORY: The day after graduation, we are gone.
RICHARD: Well, that sounds very exciting.
EMILY: Lorelai, what are these?
LORELAI: Those are guidebooks.
EMILY: "Europe Through the Backdoor." "The Rough Guide to Europe." What kind of guidebooks are these?
LORELAI: The cheap kind.
RORY: They have all the good information about backpacking and staying in hostels.
EMILY: Backpacking and staying in hostels?
RICHARD: Whos backpacking and staying in hostels?
LORELAI: We are.
[Emily and Richard laugh]
EMILY: No, youre not.
RICHARD: What a ridiculous thought.
RORY: We are. Were going to backpack around Europe.
EMILY: Yes, I know, its fun to tease your grandmother, dear. Theyre going to backpack across Europe, Richard.
RICHARD: I heard, sounds delightful. Perhaps we should join them.
EMILY: That sounds wonderful. Tomorrow Ill go out and buy some cutoffs.
LORELAI: Guys, were not kidding.
EMILY: Youre telling me youre seriously going to traipse across Europe with your possessions strapped to your back and sleep in a room with thirty other people?
RICHARD: Its not safe. I forbid it. Call our travel agent.
RORY: But we want to be spontaneous. Jump a train to Paris, head off to Spain.
LORELAI: Oh no, its raining in Spain. But since the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain. . .
RORY: Looks like Italy for us!
LORELAI: Mamma mia!
RICHARD: You can still travel around aimlessly and stay in a decent hotel.
LORELAI: We wanna do it cheap.
EMILY: Well pay.
RORY: Grandma, its going to be fun, really.
LORELAI: Kids do this all the time.
EMILY: Yes, but youre not a kid, youre a grown woman. What are people going to think when they see a grown woman bunking down with a bunch of twenty-year-olds?
LORELAI: Well, if the twenty-year-olds are cute, theyll probably think, "Lucky!"
RORY: Grandma, dont be upset. It really is going to be great.
EMILY: [reads from book] Whats so traumatic about a night without a bed anyway? My survey shows those who have had the opportunity to be a refugee for a night have their perspectives broaden and actually enjoy the experience." Richard, this book is encouraging them to sleep in a park like a squirrel.
LORELAI: Its okay, Mom.
EMILY: My first trip to Europe, I went to Paris and stayed at the Ritz.
LORELAI: Well, I tell you what, if itll make you happy, well go to Paris and eat out of their dumpster.
CUT TO SIDEWALK
[The construction crew is working in front of the soda shop]
TOM: All of this goes in there. Lets move, were getting backlogged.
DEAN: Tom, I brought over the nails you asked for.
TOM: Good. Get the guys lunch orders, will ya?
DEAN: Already done.
TOM: Youre a good kid, Dean. You hardly bug me at all.
DEAN: High praise.
TOM: Yeah, yeah, go, get the food. And dont forget the pickles.
DEAN: I wouldnt dare.
TOM: Oh, what do I gotta say to get this crap inside where it belongs? You got a language Im not privy to? Cause Im a fast learner.
MISS PATTY: Dean-o, Dean-o, Dean-o. If you grow any taller, Im gonna have to get myself some mountain climbing equipment.
DEAN: Youre getting dangerous to even walk near, you know that, Patty.
MISS PATTY: Ive been told.
DEAN: You looking for Mr. Doose?
MISS PATTY: Oh, precious, no. Im just looking.
MISS PATTY: Yeah.
DEAN: Okay. Well, uh, enjoy.
MISS PATTY: Oh, I always do. Ahh.
CUT TO LUKES DINER
[Luke is leaning on the counter, reading a book]
LUKE: What? Oh, sorry.
JESS: Whats that?
LUKE: Its nothing.
JESS: You reading?
LUKE: Its nothing.
JESS: I never see you reading.
LUKE: Will you just. . .I read.
JESS: What are you reading?
LUKE: I read, I read.
JESS: What do you read?
LUKE: Invoices, expiration dates.
JESS: I stand corrected. [takes Lukes book]
JESS: "Hidden Romantic Gems of the Restaurant World." Well, well, well.
LUKE: I would like my property back, please.
JESS: Planning something special?
LUKE: No, nothing special. Im just taking Nicole to dinner on Friday and I wanna find a place.
JESS: A place you dont normally go to?
JESS: So a special place.
LUKE: Will you stop saying that word, please? And yes.
JESS: Find anything good?
LUKE: Every single description in here talks about tablecloths and dish design, nothing about the food.
JESS: You are really going through an awful lot for this lawyer.
LUKE: Shes not a lawyer. I mean, yes, shes a lawyer, but shes also a lady, and a very nice lady who probably expects good food with her fancy plates and sparse yet elegant décor.
JESS: Youre pathetic when youre in love.
LUKE: Im not in love, Im dating. This is what you do when youre dating.
JESS: Its not what I do when Im dating.
LUKE: Well, Rorys a lucky girl. Work. Im going upstairs.
JESS: Fine, but if a horse-drawn carriage shows up here, my throwing up will be eternal.
[Dean walks up to the counter]
DEAN: I gotta place an order.
JESS: Talk into the clown.
DEAN: I am.
JESS: What do you want?
DEAN: Six burgers, three with cheese -- two cheddar, one Swiss. Two plain, one with chili, cheese and onions on the side. Your memorys that good?
JESS: Youre screwing with me.
DEAN: Im placing an order.
JESS: For all of Connecticut?
DEAN: For the construction crew next door.
JESS: Oh, youre Taylors errand boy now.
DEAN: And youre Taylors waitress.
JESS: Say that a little closer.
DEAN: I thought you had a girlfriend.
JESS: Give me your order and get out.
DEAN: Service with a smile. Uh, six burgers, three cheese -- two cheddar, one Swiss. Two plain burgers, one chili burger with cheese and onions on the side. Three ham on ryes - one mayo, one mustard, one combo. A combo means mustard and
JESS: I know what a combo means.
DEAN: Sorry, guess that confused look is just how your face is.
JESS: Do you wanna talk about this outside?
DEAN: Just as soon as Im finished. Uh, four hot dogs. Two egg salads on white. One chicken salad on wheat. A chef's salad with ranch. Five fries. Five onion rings. Two chips. Extra pickles.
JESS: On what?
DEAN: Excuse me?
JESS: What are the extra pickles on?
DEAN: On the side.
JESS: On the side of what? On the side of the burgers, on the side of the sandwiches, or on the side of the road where the ditch Im gonna dump your body into is?
DEAN: Just make sure theres enough for everyone.
DEAN: Arent you gonna read it back?
DEAN: Okay, but these men were hired by Taylor, which means if they arent satisfied with their orders, they will send them back. And they will continue to send them back until they are happy, which means you could be making this order until you die.
JESS: Six burgers, three with cheese two cheddar, one Swiss.
DEAN: Slower, please. Im checking them off as we go.
JESS: Two plain burgers, one chili with cheese and onion on the side.
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN
[Lorelai is at the front desk on the phone]
LORELAI: [on phone] Hey, its your party, we just want you to be happy. Okay. No problem. All right, Ill talk to you then. [hangs up] Ridgemont called.
LORELAI: Hes changing his mind about the theme for his retirement party again.
LORELAI: We have to call the florist.
MICHEL: But this is the fourth theme hes picked. He had the fishing one, and the Kentucky Derby with the chocolate horsies, and the Tibet with the Richard Gere pictures everywhere.
LORELAI: I know.
MICHEL: And he promised that the golf would be the last one.
LORELAI: Well, he decided that golf was dull and he doesnt want to be remembered as dull.
MICHEL: Would he like to be remembered as limping, because I can be a fabulous help with that.
[They walk to the dining room, where workers are decorating the room in a golf theme]
LORELAI: Hey, guys. . .
LORELAI: Im sorry, Im really sorry.
MICHEL: Heres an idea its a retirement party, yes? Okay. So what happens after you retire? You die.
LORELAI: He changed his mind.
MICHEL: So, why dont we dig a big hole, throw him in, hand everybody a shovel, they take turns covering him up. We go inside, have dinner, the wife gets used to eating alone. . .
LORELAI: We are not going to bury him alive.
MICHEL: Well, fine then. What is the new theme?
LORELAI: He is calling me back at four.
RORY: I got the flags and. . .he changed his mind again.
LANE: Hes worse than my mother at the Glory of Easter T-shirt stand.
LORELAI: You kept the receipt, I hope.
LORELAI: Good God, this party is gonna be the death of me.
MICHEL: Or someone.
LORELAI: Go call the florist.
RORY: Youre stressed.
LORELAI: Youre observant.
RORY: Well, I was going to save this for later, but you look like you need it now.
LORELAI: Whats that?
RORY: I have been cordially invited to Sherry Tinsdales C-section.
LORELAI: No way!
RORY: [reads from invitation] Friday, February seventh, six oclock p.m. Join the girls for a toast, a hug, a wave to the mommy as they wheel her off, dinner at Sushi Sushi, and then back to the hospital for a formal viewing of brand-new baby Georgia. RSVP at your earliest convenience. P.S. -- gifts are not necessary, but always appreciated.
LORELAI: I dont even know where to start.
RORY: I knew you would like it.
LORELAI: You have to RSVP to a C-section.
RORY: And bring a gift.
LORELAI: I wonder if Laura Mercier makes Demerol.
RORY: You wanna keep it?
LORELAI: Oh, yes, please.
RORY: But dont lose it. I need the phone number.
LORELAI: So, are you going?
RORY: Well, I dont know. I mean, I know its weird, but I kind of wanna see Georgia. Shes sort of my sister.
LORELAI: Shes more than sort of your sister.
RORY: I just think it would be cool to meet her the night that shes born. Its a good story to talk about.
LORELAI: You should go.
RORY: I should, shouldnt I?
LORELAI: And you should take pictures and wear a hidden microphone cause I wanna hear everything.
RORY: Ill see what I can do.
LORELAI: Oh, shoot.
[Lorelai walks to the kitchen, where Sookie is frosting a golf ball cake]
LORELAI: Sook. . .
[Sookie flips the cake into the garbage can]
CUT TO LORELAIS HOUSE
[Lorelai and Rory walk up to the house with boxes of Beanie Babies]
RORY: I just need to go on record that a grown man should not throw himself a Beanie Baby retirement party.
LORELAI: Just hold your breath this one actually takes.
RORY: And how is Sookie supposed to plan a Beanie Baby menu?
LORELAI: Lots of beans.
RORY: I think this is ridiculous.
LORELAI: Angel face, you need to learn that there are going to be times in your life when you have to do ridiculous things for money. If youre Adrian Zmed, that includes everything that ever happens in your whole career. [sees a box on the porch] Oh Rory, come on. Did you order from Amazon again? Cause were going to get your books their own house.
RORY: I didnt, I swear.
LORELAI: Its from my mother.
RORY: What is it?
LORELAI: Its heavy. Must be her hopes and dreams for me.
RORY: I thought she discarded those years ago.
[they walk into the house]
LORELAI: Just drop the Beanies by the door. [reads note attached to the box] "Girls, here are some travel books I stumbled across in your fathers study. I thought they could help in the planning of your European adventure." Shes insane.
RORY: We have travel books.
LORELAI: No, sweetie, these arent our kind of travel books. These are Paris and Nicky Hiltons kind of travel books.
RORY: [pulls some books out of the box] "Selected Hotels of Europe," "Hotels, Restaurants and Inns of Great Britain and Ireland, 1986", "Myra Waldos Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, 78."
LORELAI: Wow, these will be an enormous help in planning our trip. Hey, you wanna go see the Berlin Wall?
RORY: Sounds great.
LORELAI: My God, I remember these books. I think the only person in my house who ever read them was me.
RORY: This hotel is five hundred dollars a night.
LORELAI: Five hundred dollars a night twenty years ago.
RORY: What could a hotel possibly have that would make it five hundred dollars a night?
LORELAI: An English menu?
FLASHBACK ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[Young Lorelai and Christopher walk through the front door]
LORELAI: Christopher, stop it, Im trying to open the door. Graceful and lovely they enter.
CHRISTOPHER: Is she home?
LORELAI: I dont know. Mom, are you home?
CHRISTOPHER: Mom, are you home?
LORELAI: Shh, shell hear you.
CHRISTOPHER: So, she likes me.
LORELAI: Oh, thats right. Mom, its me, Lorelai, Im home! Im home and Im taking my sweater off. Im taking my sweater off and dropping it on the floor. Im dropping it on the floor and walking away from it. Im walking away from it and leaving it on the floor, and in two years Im gonna register Democrat. Looks like no Emily.
CHRISTOPHER: Wheres Sofia?
LORELAI: She touched the Baccarat unicorn.
CHRISTOPHER: My God, is she insane?
LORELAI: Apparently so.
CHRISTOPHER: Okay, so, to recap, theres no Emily and theres no Sofia.
LORELAI: And theres no supervision whatsoever. What will we do?
CHRISTOPHER: Lets celebrate.
LORELAI: Celebrate what?
CHRISTOPHER: No more midterms.
LORELAI: Hear, hear.
CHRISTOPHER: Okay, I say that we drink to it.
LORELAI: Hear, hear.
CHRISTOPHER: Scotch, vodka, or gin?
LORELAI: Hear, hear.
LORELAI: And put a cherry in it. It looks like the Gilmores are planning a trip again.
CHRISTOPHER: Where to this time?
LORELAI: Someplace fabulous where theyll stay at a fancy hotel with a lot of other rich Americans so they wont have to talk to anyone who actually lives in that country.
CHRISTOPHER: "Myra Waldos Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe." Hello Myra.
LORELAI: Oh God, I hope they go over Christmas. That would be as holly jolly as it gets. Smooth.
CHRISTOPHER: Hey, guess what I decided Im not gonna go to college.
LORELAI: Are you serious?
CHRISTOPHER: Im taking a year and Im going to Europe. Im gonna backpack, train it, sleep on a bench, see the world.
LORELAI: And youve told Straub and Francine about your big plans, Im sure.
CHRISTOPHER: Ah, it doesnt matter.
CHRISTOPHER: Im outta here the second that diplomas in my hand.
LORELAI: Sounds good.
CHRISTOPHER: Youre coming with me.
LORELAI: Oh, I am?
LORELAI: Im sleeping on a bench? Okay, how does that picture look to you, cause to me it looks like a big no.
CHRISTOPHER: Fine, you we get a room for, and then Ill just sleep on the bench outside.
LORELAI: Much better arrangement.
CHRISTOPHER: So youll go?
LORELAI: Christopher, youre supposed to go to college. Im supposed to go to college. Then youre supposed to join your dads firm where youll get a corner office and big stick to shove up your butt.
CHRISTOPHER: Change of plans.
LORELAI: You cant just change the plans. The plans came over on the Mayflower.
CHRISTOPHER: Come on, Lor. Lets get out of here, lets get away from this place. Lets take Myra and just bolt. Leave a note on the dining room table. "Dear Richard and Emily, I dont belong here, Im going somewhere else, Ill call you when I get there. Love, Lorelai. How does that sound?
LORELAI: Well, the word "whoopee" comes to mind.
CHRISTOPHER: So, then, its a plan.
LORELAI: Its a plan.
CUT TO LORELAIS HOUSE (PRESENT)
[Lorelai and Rory are still looking through the guidebooks]
RORY: Hey, I want to sleep amongst thirteenth century tapestries and chocolates made by local artisans.
LORELAI: Okay, then, its settled. Were not staying at any place that wasnt built for Napoleon the thirds doctor or doesnt have a Chagall in the bathroom.
RORY: Hear, hear.
LORELAI: Now we just have to figure out how were gonna pay for it. Hey, how goods your organ grinding?
CUT TO CHILTON
[Students are gathered in a meeting room]
MADELINE: I called last night and I asked her to talk me through the Korean War and she said she was busy.
LOUISE: Oh, shes definitely got a boyfriend.
MADELINE: I know.
LOUISE: Well, I for one think its about time.
MADELINE: I agree.
LOUISE: It wasnt healthy, all that non-dating.
MADELINE: It definitely didnt help that whole skin thing she was going through.
LOUISE: How come she didnt tell us?
MADELINE: I think she just wanted to make sure it was gonna take.
LOUISE: So, tell us, whats this Jamie like?
RORY: You know, I really dont feel like talking about Paris right now. Or ever.
MADELINE: Oh, come on, you know him, we dont.
LOUISE: Is he sexy?
MADELINE: Does he have a good car?
LOUISE: Hows the trust fund?
MADELINE: Hows the profile?
LOUISE: Will the prom pictures work?
MADELINE: How are his friends?
LOUISE: Yes. Is there spin-off potential? [Paris walks in] Whoops.
PARIS: Okay, everyone, gather around. I have in my hand the 2002 Franklin Yearbook photos. I got copies for everyone, so lets leave the Barneys clearance sale reenactment for another day, shall we? And, please take note of the fact that the idea of posing under the new school banner was a major, major success.
RORY: Um, Paris.
RORY: Im sneezing.
RORY: In the picture. Im sneezing and my head is turned.
PARIS: Oh, yeah, I noticed that, but every picture had something wrong with it and I had to pick the one that was the best for the largest number of people.
RORY: We took ninety pictures.
PARIS: Whats your point?
RORY: My point is in ninety tries, there wasnt one other picture that was good for the group and didnt have me looking like Im in Cirque du Soleil.
PARIS: Sorry. Life can play some cruel tricks sometimes.
RORY: Life had a little help from the Gellar camp this time. [cell phone rings] We are not done. [answers phone] Hello?
MAUREEN: Rory, hi, listen. I just got the call and hold on a sec. Ill call him back. Im back, sorry. Where was I?
RORY: Who is this?
MAUREEN: Maureen Rollins, Sherrys friend.
RORY: Oh, yes, uh, right, Maureen, Im sorry, I -
MAUREEN: Dont worry about it. Listen, I know the invitation said that we were all gathering at the c-section next week, but Sherry just went into labor.
MAUREEN: She screwed up, shes in labor, and she wanted me to call all the girls and beg them to get down to the hospital ASAP.
MAUREEN: Its a big screw-up.
RORY: I guess.
MAUREEN: Can you come?
RORY: Well. . .
MAUREEN: Youre a child, right?
MAUREEN: School, you have school?
RORY: Uh, yes, I have school, but
MAUREEN: Is there anyway you could reschedule school just for today? She completely screwed up, but shes still our Sherry.
RORY: Well, Im actually done with school now. I could grab a train and
MAUREEN: That would be the best, the absolute best. You are a great kid. Shes at Boston Memorial. I will meet you there. Listen, I have Graydon Carter on the other line.
MAUREEN: Graydon Carter. I have to go.
RORY: Okay, bye.
FLASHBACK ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[A photographer is setting up in the living room]
EMILY: Please make sure the light is very soft. I want a luminous quality.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Im gonna have to see the young lady before I can set the final lighting.
EMILY: Yes, of course. Arletta, did you call Lorelai?
ARLETTA: Yes, maam. Twenty minutes ago.
EMILY: And what did she say?
ARLETTA: She said she was still getting dressed. Do you want me to go up there again?
EMILY: No, Ill do it. I swear, youd think that it was my coming out portrait, not hers, for the amount of concern she has about all of this. Ill be right back. Dont scratch the floor.
[Cut to upstairs Young Lorelai is in her bedroom trying to fit into her debutante gown. Theres a knock at the door.]
EMILY: Lorelai, the photographer needs you downstairs.
LORELAI: Ill be there in a sec.
EMILY: He needs you now, not in a sec.
EMILY: I dont hear you walking toward the door.
LORELAI: Mom, please.
EMILY: Im coming in.
[Emily walks into the bedroom]
EMILY: I dont have time for your attitude young lady. This man is being paid by the hour. Why arent you dressed?
LORELAI: I just. . .I think the zippers too new or stiff or something.
EMILY: Turn around, Ill do it. [tries to zip up the dress] Oh my God.
EMILY: Its not the zipper, its the dress. Its too small.
LORELAI: Are you sure?
EMILY: Of course Im sure. Its too small. How can it be too small? We had a fitting three months ago. Have you gained weight?
EMILY: Hold your breath.
LORELAI: I am.
EMILY: Hold your breath!
LORELAI: I am!
EMILY: The only thing I can think of is the dressmaker mustve written the measurements down wrong. Well, what are we supposed to do now? I certainly cant take a picture of you like that.
EMILY: Ill just have to have him come back next week. And Im going to call that woman at the dress shop and give her a piece of my mind. My God, is everyone in the world completely incompetent? Put on your sweats and run around the block. Youre gonna fit into the next dress no matter what.
CUT TO LUKES DINER (PRESENT)
[Lorelai walks in]
LORELAI: Okay, I have five minutes to drink as much coffee as I can before I have to drive to Hartford to spend the evening with my mother alone and. . .who am I saying this to?
KIRK: I was listening.
LORELAI: Wheres Luke?
KIRK: I dont know.
LORELAI: Well, is he here? Is he coming back? How fresh is that pot?
KIRK: I dont know, I dont know, it was sitting there when I got here but thats only been a minute so I dont know.
[Luke walks down from upstairs]
LORELAI: Oh, thank God. Hey, I desperately need a massive cup of coffee to go and what happened to your face?
LUKE: What do you mean?
LORELAI: Its visible.
LUKE: Oh, I shaved.
LORELAI: You going to the bank?
LORELAI: Drag club?
LUKE: Lets get you your coffee, shall we?
LORELAI: Hey, isnt that the sweater that
LUKE: Yes, it is.
LORELAI: You look nice.
LUKE: Thank you.
LORELAI: Whats the occasion?
LUKE: Oh, well
[Nicole walks into the diner]
LORELAI: Oh, its a girl. Its a. . .
LUKE: Nicole, this is Lorelai.
NICOLE: Nice to meet you. Im Nicole Leahy.
LORELAI: Lorelai Gilmore.
NICOLE: Wow, you look nice.
LUKE: Yeah, you, too.
NICOLE: So, you ready or should I sit down?
LUKE: No, lets go, Im ready.
NICOLE: Okay. [her cell phone rings] Oh, Im sorry. Ill just
LORELAI: Oh, hey, hey Luke. . .
LUKE: Shes a lawyer.
LORELAI: So what? Luke!
[As Nicole talks on the phone Luke and Lorelai are sitting on the stools behind her. Lorelai points to the 'no cell phone' sign and then at Nicole. Luke tries stopping Lorelai by holding her hands but Lorelai breaks free an number of times. Finally Luke gets the upper hand as Nicole finishes the call they break apart as Luke stands.]
NICOLE: Yes. No, Im sorry, Mondays not gonna work, itll have to be Tuesday. Yes, well, your client breaking a contract is fairly annoying also, but were all dealing with that. Terrific to hear. Bye Michael. [hangs up] Sorry. The phone is going off now.
LUKE: Its okay. Make as many calls as you want.
NICOLE: Nice meeting you.
LORELAI: You, too.
CUT TO HOSPITAL
[Rory steps off the elevator and walks up to a woman]
MAUREEN: [on phone] As soon as I can. All right, bye.
RORY: Im Rory. Im Christophers daughter. You called me to come down.
MAUREEN: Rory, yes, sweetie, thank God youre here. Sherrys gonna be so happy to see you. Shes a basketcase. Well, who wouldnt be, right?
RORY: Wheres everyone else?
MAUREEN: Oh, theyre working.
MAUREEN: Well, we had all planned on next week, but Sherry screwed up, so what can you do? Thank God youre here. Shell be thrilled. Shes feeling a little abandoned. Now, shes right in there. Do not mention how fat she is. For some reason, shes extremely sensitive about that today. Okay, kiss. Ill call you later to find out how everythings going.
RORY: Wait, where are you going?
MAUREEN: Ive gotta get back to work. Im swamped today.
RORY: Youre leaving me here alone?
MAUREEN: Believe me, I would love to stay hon impossible. What can I say? Sherry screwed up. Anyhow, youll be fine. If you need anything, call.
RORY: I dont have your number.
MAUREEN: Sherrys got it. [walks away]
[Rory walks into Sherrys room]
RORY: Sherry? Its Rory.
SHERRY: Rory? Oh my God, Im so glad youre here.
RORY: How are you?
SHERRY: This wasnt supposed to happen now.
RORY: I know.
SHERRY: Christophers out of town. I think Maureen called him and left a message but it doesnt matter because hes not here. Wheres Maureen?
RORY: Oh, well, she had to go back to work, but she said shed call later.
SHERRY: Shes at work?
SHERRY: Im lying in a bed. God knows whats gonna happen.
RORY: Well, youre going to have a baby.
SHERRY: And she goes back to work. I would love to go back to work, but I cant because I have to stay here.
RORY: Well, yeah, because youre going to have a baby.
SHERRY: Shes not here. None of my friends are here. Christopher isnt here. No one is here. No one but you. Thank God youre here, Rory. I dont think that I could do this by myself because this wasnt supposed to happen until next week. I wrote it down. I wrote it down. I wrote it down!
RORY: Boy, do you look thin.
CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE (PRESENT)
[Emily opens the door for Lorelai]
EMILY: Well, its a rare treat to have an evening alone with my daughter uncoerced.
LORELAI: Yes, it is, isnt it?
EMILY: So Rorys at the hospital?
LORELAI: Uh, yeah. Shes gonna see her new half-sister fresh from the oven.
EMILY: Well, thats about an unpleasant a description as Ive ever heard. I thought wed have martinis.
LORELAI: Very good thought.
EMILY: So hows Rory feeling about Christophers new baby?
LORELAI: Shes very excited. Its kind of cute.
EMILY: You shouldve gotten her a puppy.
LORELAI: Stop. No maid tonight?
EMILY: Leloni usually takes Sundays off, but she wanted to switch and seeing as its just you and I, I said yes.
LORELAI: Leloni, huh? Very exotic name.
EMILY: Shes from Honolulu.
LORELAI: Cool. Does she know Don Ho?
LORELAI: The C&H Pure Cane Sugar dancers?
EMILY: Lorelai, please, we dont have a buffer here tonight.
LORELAI: So who cooked dinner? Ugh, please dont tell me its you cause we can always. . .diet.
EMILY: Leloni made a roast before she left and I heated it up.
LORELAI: You did?
EMILY: I even added a little wine to the pan to keep it from drying out.
LORELAI: Well, who died and made you Sara Moulton?
EMILY: Drink this and be quiet.
LORELAI: So, um, how long is Dad gone for this time?
EMILY: Two weeks.
LORELAI: Didnt he just come home last week?
EMILY: Yes, he did.
LORELAI: So business must be pretty good?
EMILY: I suppose. He has to work twice as hard as he ever did, and Im still not sure that hes actually made a dime yet. However, he does see to be having the time of his life, so what can you do?
LORELAI: Nothing, I guess. Hey Mom, can I ask you something?
EMILY: Of course you can.
LORELAI: What do you do while Dad is gone?
EMILY: Well, I do all sorts of things.
LORELAI: Like what?
EMILY: Well, I keep this house running.
LORELAI: Uh huh.
EMILY: And I have my DAR meetings and theres always a thousand calls to make. I have functions and fundraising events to organize. A million different things.
LORELAI: Okay, but what do you do at night?
EMILY: Excuse me?
LORELAI: I mean, you dont organize functions at night, do you?
EMILY: What are you insinuating?
LORELAI: Im not insinuating anything, Mom. Im just trying to find out a little bit about your life.
EMILY: Well, your father calls every night at nine oclock and we talk.
LORELAI: So, you spend fifteen minutes talking to Dad and then you hang up the phone and you what? Watch television?
EMILY: I dont watch that much television. I dont find forensic work quite as fascinating as the rest of the world.
LORELAI: But you have cable, right? I mean, you could watch movies.
EMILY: Yes, but I never know where the maid puts that guide they send you, so I always wind up turning it on after a movie has already started and I dont like to come in on the middle of things.
LORELAI: But you could tape the movies, or get a DVD player.
EMILY: I dont need a DVD player.
LORELAI: Well, why not? Then you could buy all those musicals you love and watch them whenever you felt like it.
EMILY: Im not an invalid, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Well, of course you are, Mother. Why else would I suggest a DVD player?
EMILY: I can fill my time all by myself and Id like you to drop this conversation right now.
LORELAI: Where are you going?
EMILY: Were going to eat. [starts walking toward the kitchen]
LORELAI: [follows her] Just because you leave the room doesnt mean the conversations over. I started the conversation. The conversations in me. Therefore, when I get over there, the conversations just gonna start up again.
FLASHBACK ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[Emily, Richard, and Christophers parents are talking in the living room]
STRAUB: This is unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.
FRANCINE: I feel sick.
STRAUB: Everythings gone. Its been tossed right out the window. Stop crying.
EMILY: Here Francine, drink your water. We all need to calm down. Getting upset isnt going to get us anywhere.
FRANCINE: What do we tell people?
EMILY: Well, who needs to know?
STRAUB: What do you mean, who needs to know?
EMILY: You dont have to yell at me, Straub.
STRAUB: Everybody has to know, Emily. Everybody will know. We cant pretend this didnt happen.
FRANCINE: You could send her away.
EMILY: Excuse me?
FRANCINE: Arent there places that take girls like that?
EMILY: Girls like what, Francine?
FRANCINE: Well, girls in. . .I cant handle this, I cant handle this at all.
STRAUB: Stop crying, dammit.
EMILY: Christopher is just as much to blame as Lorelai is.
STRAUB: Like hell he is.
EMILY: They are in this together.
STRAUB: I dont see why. Why should Christopher sacrifice everything weve planned for him just because
EMILY: Choose your words extremely carefully, Straub.
FRANCINE: Emily, you know we love Lorelai, you know that. But Christophers so young, hes a baby.
EMILY: Well, Lorelais not exactly collecting social security.
STRAUB: Why doesnt she get rid of it?
STRAUB: Its an option.
EMILY: It certainly is not an option.
STRAUB: Why not?
EMILY: Because I say so.
STRAUB: Then what the hell are you suggesting, Emily? Whats your great solution to this problem?
RICHARD: They will get married, they will live here, and Christopher will go to work at my company. That is the solution. Now, we have a plan so we can all stop talking about it. Please excuse me, I have work to do.
EMILY: I think Richards plan sounds very sensible.
STRAUB: I just have one question why his company?
EMILY: What do you mean, his company?
STRAUB: Well, I have a law firm. Christopher could go to school.
[pan to Young Lorelai and Christopher sitting on the staircase]
LORELAI: I know were all upset here folks, but maybe we should ask the kids what they think. Lorelai, Christopher, anything to add here?
CHRISTOPHER: Quiet, theyll hear you.
LORELAI: Not likely. I dont know how much longer I can just sit here like this.
CHRISTOPHER: Its okay, let them talk.
LORELAI: Theyre talking about us.
CHRISTOPHER: Theyre trying to figure out what to do.
LORELAI: What to do with our lives our lives! Yours and mine and. . .its.
CHRISTOPHER: Were gonna need their help.
LORELAI: We can take care of ourselves.
LORELAI: Well figure it out.
CHRISTOPHER: Its okay. It sounds okay.
LORELAI: What sounds okay?
CHRISTOPHER: You know, working for your dad, living here. It sounds okay.
LORELAI: Chris, no! What about Europe? What about sleeping on a bench in Paris?
CHRISTOPHER: We cant do that now. I have to get a job.
CHRISTOPHER: I have to make money.
CHRISTOPHER: Its okay, really.
EMILY: [in background] Youre not even listening to each other.
STRAUB: [in background] Oh, for Gods sake Francine, shut up!
CUT TO HOSPITAL ROOM (PRESENT)
[Rory is sitting next to Sherrys bed talking on a cell phone]
RORY: [on phone] So, well see you next Friday at three. And once again, sorry for the short notice. Okay, bye. [hangs up]
SHERRY: Great, whos next?
RORY: Um, Sheldon Harnick.
SHERRY: Try and set him for Wednesday.
SHERRY: Oh, and dont tell him Im pregnant. He hates pregnancy.
RORY: Oh, how about a plumbing problem?
SHERRY: Sounds good.
[A nurse walks into the room]
NURSE: Okay, so how are we doing?
SHERRY: Im not sure.
NURSE: Well, dont be nervous. Everythings going to be just fine. I just wanted to check on you and to see whos going to be with you in the delivery room while its happening.
SHERRY: Oh, my fiancés on his way. Hes on his way, right?
RORY: Yes, hes on his way.
SHERRY: Okay, so when he gets here, hell come in with me.
NURSE: And if he doesnt get here in time?
SHERRY: Then well just have to wait.
NURSE: Im afraid thats gonna be a little tough to arrange. Once it starts, thats it.
SHERRY: Okay, well, then I guess its Rory. Right?
RORY: Oh. Absolutely.
NURSE: Okay, then Im gonna get you a gown and some gloves so youll be all set in case you have to go in.
RORY: That sounds great.
NURSE: Ill be right back. [leaves]
SHERRY: Okay, where were we?
RORY: Um, listen, Sherry, I really need a cup of coffee. Would you mind if I ran out really quick?
SHERRY: Oh, no, go ahead. Ill make the next few calls myself.
[Rory walks into the hallway and calls Lorelai on her cell phone]
RORY: Mom, theyre giving me gloves!
LORELAI: What are you talking about?
RORY: I dont want gloves, I dont want a gown, I dont wanna be in there.
LORELAI: In where?
RORY: In the delivery room with Sherry.
RORY: Dads not here yet and shes freaking out and she told the nurse Im going in and
LORELAI: Where are her other friends?
RORY: They had to work. Im here all by myself and Im trying very hard to be calm but Im starting to feel nauseous, and the hospital has a smell, and there are noises, and those gowns do not stay closed and Ive seen a lot of butts today! And -
LORELAI: Okay, sweetie, calm down.
RORY: I need you.
RORY: I need you, I need you here, I need you now. I cannot do this alone. I need my Mommy, and dammit, I dont care who knows it!
LORELAI: What hospital is it?
RORY: Boston Memorial.
LORELAI: Ill be right there.
RORY: I really, really like you.
LORELAI: Tell Sherry to keep her legs crossed til I get there.
RORY: Does that work?
LORELAI: No. Bye. [hangs up] Mom, I gotta go, Im sorry. Dinner was great.
EMILY: Where are you going?
LORELAI: Sherrys freaking out and Rorys the only one with her, so Im going to the hospital.
EMILY: Youre going to be with Rorys fathers girlfriend while she has his baby?
LORELAI: Gee, Mom, I cant at all tell what your opinion on that might be.
EMILY: Why would you do this? This woman pulled Christopher away from you, away from Rory. She destroyed any chance you might have had
LORELAI: Rory asked me to come, thats why Im going.
EMILY: I dont understand what Rorys doing there either.
LORELAI: Shes going to have a sister.
LORELAI: Thank you for a lovely dinner. Ill see you next week.
FLASHBACK LORELAIS BEDROOM
[Young Lorelai is watching television and eating a sandwich when she feels a pain in her stomach.]
[cut to hospital Young Lorelai is sitting in the waiting area filling out a form]
NURSE: Are you done?
NURSE: Okay. Is anyone with you, hon?
NURSE: Well, someone will be up to get you in just a second.
CUT TO HOSPITAL (PRESENT)
[Lorelai steps off the elevator and walks up to the nurses station]
LORELAI: Um, excuse me, Sherry Tinsdales room please?
NURSE: Right through there.
LORELAI: Thank you.
[Rory walks down the hall]
RORY: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
LORELAI: Youre welcome, and I will be holding this over you for the next ten years. What are you doing?
RORY: Sherry had some status reports she promised to fax to people by tomorrow but she didnt bring enough, and so Ive been trying to find a Xerox machine. I finally conned someone in ICU into letting me use theirs. I havent found a fax machine yet, but
LORELAI: Okay, come on.
RORY: I have to fax these.
LORELAI: Uh huh, lets go.
RORY: But we have a deadline.
[they walk into Sherrys room]
SHERRY: [on phone] Yes, Im having them faxed over right now. Yes, thats right. Well, Im not sure if the numbers I have are the numbers that you have. Thats right, thats bad. Uh huh. Well, I think you should, too. [to Rory] Did you get those things faxed?
LORELAI: Sherry, hang up.
SHERRY: No, I have to finish this call.
LORELAI: Just say goodbye.
LORELAI: Youll call em back.
[Lorelai takes the phone from her]
LORELAI: Hi. Uh, Sherrys gonna have to call you back. Yeah, I promise. Okay, goodbye. [hangs up]
SHERRY: No, that was work.
LORELAI: Sherry, you really shouldnt be working right now.
SHERRY: I cant just stop everything because Im. . .
LORELAI: Having a baby. Admitting it is the first step, honey.
SHERRY: Im not ready. I had it planned. Christopher was supposed to be here.
LORELAI: I know.
SHERRY: I dont know what to do.
LORELAI: Well, the first thing you have to do is calm down and stop working.
LORELAI: And the second thing is, you need to tell me why youre sitting like that.
SHERRY: Maureen told me that Howard Stern said that if you squat, it makes the baby come out faster.
LORELAI: Okay, as long as you have a sane reason from a reliable source.
SHERRY: Im scared.
LORELAI: I know. Its scary, and it hurts like hell. And remember, when it comes out not to look at it too hard until they give it a good cleaning, or youll think you gave birth to phlegm. But, um, once they give it a good scrub, its just unbelievably cool.
LORELAI: Well, and look how good they grow up. Not bad, huh?
SHERRY: I hope I get that lucky.
LORELAI: Ive got a good feeling.
SHERRY: Thank you. Lorelai?
SHERRY: My ankles are starting to hurt.
LORELAI: Okay, grab an arm.
SHERRY: Im glad youre here.
LORELAI: Well, at this moment, you probably should be.
CUT TO HOSPITAL HALLWAY
[Rory gets some coffee from the machine as Lorelai walks over to her]
LORELAI: Shes jogging in place.
LORELAI: I think shes hoping to aerobicize the thing right out of there.
RORY: Well, should we stop her?
LORELAI: I tried. She almost took an eye out.
RORY: Well, that cant be good for the baby.
LORELAI: Well, its probably no worse than the guilt trip its gonna get for showing up a week early.
RORY: You do know its a girl.
LORELAI: Yes, I should probably stop calling it "it". Her "it".
RORY: I was just bringing you some coffee.
LORELAI: Thanks. Did you try calling your dad again?
RORY: His cells not in service or out of range or something.
LORELAI: You do know if he doesnt get here, I have to go in with her.
RORY: Yes, I do.
LORELAI: Well, I dont want to go in with her.
RORY: At least you know whats gonna happen.
LORELAI: I had the cheap seat before. My view was quite a bit different.
RORY: Hey, should we buy a camera or something?
LORELAI: For what?
RORY: If Dad doesnt get here, shouldnt we maybe
RORY: I just thought it would be nice.
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, Rory!
LORELAI: Oh, thank God youre here, Chris.
CHRISTOPHER: Has it happened? Did I miss it?
LORELAI: You have perfect timing.
CHRISTOPHER: I mustve broken fifteen different laws getting here. I dont even remember where I left my car. I thought I wasnt gonna make it.
LORELAI: Well, take a breath, you did make it, and Sherrys gonna be thrilled.
CHRISTOPHER: Where is she?
LORELAI: Come on.
CHRISTOPHER: Is this. . .
[they walk into Sherrys room, where shes being transferred to a gurney]
SHERRY: Christopher, youre here! I cant believe youre here. I didnt think youd make it.
CHRISTOPHER: Are you kidding? You think Id miss this.
SHERRY: No, Im sorry. Its just, Im just in a lot of pain and I cant think straight.
NURSE: I take it this is your fiancé.
SHERRY: Yeah, this is him. This is my Christopher.
NURSE: Well, Christopher, are you coming in with us?
CHRISTOPHER: Try and stop me.
NURSE: Okay, lets go then.
[they start wheeling her out of the room]
RORY: Well be right here, waiting.
LORELAI: Have fun.
RORY: Have fun?
LORELAI: Well. . .
[A nurse is wheeling Young Lorelai down the hall on a gurney]
LORELAI: Okay, this is a big pain and Id really like it to go away, please.
NURSE: Just breathe deep, honey.
LORELAI: Breathing doesnt help, can I hit you instead?
LORELAI: Or pinch you really hard, cause that might make me feel better.
NURSE: No, you cannot hit me.
LORELAI: Can I bite you or pull your hair or use the Epilady on you cause I really need to do something.
EMILY: Lorelai Gilmore!
LORELAI: Wheel this a little faster, please.
EMILY: Lorelai, you do not do this. You do not just leave a person a note.
LORELAI: Okay, see the timing here?
EMILY: "Dear Mom and Dad, Im in labor. See you later, Lorelai."
RICHARD: Emily, please, I feel ridiculous.
EMILY: Youre having a baby do you know that, Lorelai?
LORELAI: Well, that explains the stomachache.
EMILY: You do not leave your house when you are having a baby without telling your mother. You say, "Excuse me, Mom. Im having a baby, give me a ride to the damn hospital!"
RICHARD: Emily, please, I wore the wrong shoes for this.
EMILY: Of all the things in the world I had a right to do, driving my daughter to the hospital to give birth, especially since shes sixteen years old and doesnt have her drivers license yet, is definitely one of them.
NURSE: Maam, I need to wait out here, please.
NURSE: Because were going into the delivery room.
EMILY: I want to go in.
LORELAI: No, Mom, please.
RICHARD: Yes, Emily, please.
EMILY: Fine, well be right here when youre done.
EMILY: And do not think were finished discussing this, young lady, because we are not!
RICHARD: Emily, lets just sit here.
CUT TO HOSPITAL (PRESENT)
RORY: Im glad he got here.
LORELAI: Yeah. Me, too.
RORY: So I guess now we wait?
LORELAI: Yup, now we wait.
CUT TO LUKES DINER
JESS: Kirk, how long are you gonna sit here?
KIRK: What do you mean?
JESS: Its been four hours. Go home.
KIRK: Its boring at home. My TVs broken.
JESS: So do something else.
KIRK: Like what?
JESS: Read a book.
KIRK: What book?
JESS: Any book.
KIRK: Im gonna need a suggestion.
JESS: Moby Dick.
KIRK: Thats about the whale?
KIRK: No. What else?
JESS: Forget it, just sit there.
[Luke and Nicole walk in]
LUKE: So he just drove all the way to New York, picked up the cheese, drove back. Nobody talked about it ever again.
NICOLE: Oh, God, I love cheese.
LUKE: Well, you wouldve gotten along very well with my father. So, you want some coffee?
NICOLE: I would love some coffee.
LUKE: Have a seat. Jess, coffee over here.
NICOLE: So, I have to say, I really hated that restaurant.
LUKE: Good, I like that were on the same page here.
NICOLE: I did, however, have a really good time.
LUKE: Once again, I like that were on the same page here.
JESS: Okay, coffee.
NICOLE: Thank you.
JESS: Did you have a good time?
NICOLE: Yeah, we had a really good time.
JESS: Okay, well, Im going to go out for about an hour.
LUKE: What are you talking about? Its 11:30.
JESS: I know. Im just gonna go out for about an hour.
LUKE: Out where?
JESS: Out for about an hour.
LUKE: What are you talking about?
JESS: Im talking about going out for about an hour. What you need more time?
LUKE: Nicole, will you excuse me for a minute?
[Luke and Jess walk outside; they argue in front of the window]
KIRK: They have amazing communication.
[Luke and Jess walk back inside]
JESS: I guess Im not going out for about an hour.
LUKE: Say goodnight, Jess.
JESS: I dont understand you, man.
LUKE: My mystique is part of my charm.
JESS: You at least want me to take a walk around the block?
JESS: Take an extra long shower?
LUKE: Go upstairs.
JESS: Sorry, I tried.
CUT TO HOSPITAL
[Lorelai is reading in the waiting room, Rory is asleep next to her. Christopher walks over to them]
LORELAI: Are you a daddy?
CHRISTOPHER: Come on, come look. Well wake Rory later.
[they walk down the hall]
LORELAI: So how was it?
CHRISTOPHER: Oh, man, Lor, in my wildest dreams, I never couldve imagined. Ive never been that nervous or terrified or nauseous in my entire life. It was like the most amazing thing ever in the world. It was like. . .well, you know.
LORELAI: Yes, I do know.
CHRISTOPHER: Ive never seen anything like it.
CHRISTOPHER: And Sherry was great. Im flying, I mean it, Im flying.
[they stand in front of the nursery window]
CHRISTOPHER: Thats my daughter.
LORELAI: I can tell.
LORELAI: I think she conned that one out of his blanket.
CHRISTOPHER: Shes perfect.
LORELAI: Rory was perfect. She, however, is a good solid second.
CHRISTOPHER: I just cant believe it.
LORELAI: Shes beautiful, really. Congratulations Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER: Thank you. Thank you for everything.
LORELAI: Of course.
[Young Lorelai and Christopher are looking through the nursery window at baby Rory]
CHRISTOPHER: Shes pretty.
LORELAI: Shes perfect.
CHRISTOPHER: So, I guess we should get married.
CUT TO HOSPITAL (PRESENT)
[Lorelai and Christopher are still looking at the baby through the window]
CHRISTOPHER: I should wake Rory, dont you think?
LORELAI: Yeah, shed like to see this.
CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE (PRESENT)
[Emily is going through the mail when the doorbell rings]
EMILY: Ill get it, Leloni. You find out where that smell is coming from. [answers door] Lorelai.
LORELAI: Hi, Mom.
EMILY: What on Earth are you doing here? What is this?
LORELAI: This is your new DVD player.
EMILY: My what?
LORELAI: Plus, I picked up Singin in the Rain, Funny Girl, Easter Parade, An American in Paris, and as an added bonus, the new classic dance series Urban Cowboy, Saturday Night Fever, Grease, Footloose, and Flashdance. Trust me, youre gonna be cutting up your sweatshirts all weekend.
EMILY: Why did you do this?
LORELAI: Cause I thought youd enjoy it.
EMILY: But I dont know anything about a DVD player.
LORELAI: Mom, trust me, once its hooked up, all youll have to know is how to press play.
EMILY: But whos gonna hook it up?
LORELAI: I am.
EMILY: You know how to hook this up?
LORELAI: I know how to read an instruction manual.
EMILY: Since when?
LORELAI: Hm, please.
EMILY: Maybe we should get a professional.
LORELAI: I can do this. Just give me five seconds here.
EMILY: Well? Well, can you do it? Oh, just forget it.
LORELAI: Mom, please, just let me focus on this for one more second, and if I cannot do it, Ill get a professional DVD guy in here to install it, okay?
EMILY: I still dont understand why you got me this. [looks at the DVDs] I love this movie.
FLASHBACK ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[Emily and Richard walk down the stairs]
EMILY: Lorelai, were leaving! Well, what do you know? She finally put Rorys stroller away. Its the first time in a year I havent tripped over that thing.
RICHARD: Wheres my scarf?
EMILY: I told Tina to put everything out for you, Richard.
RICHARD: Out where?
EMILY: Look on the table.
RICHARD: You have to be more specific with her, Emily.
EMILY: Fine, Richard.
RICHARD: There should be a designated place to put things.
EMILY: Whatever you say, Richard. Lorelai, we are leaving! Please acknowledge that! Where is that girl?
RICHARD: This is not the scarf I asked for.
EMILY: Well, it looks fine. Can you just wear it?
RICHARD: No, Im gonna go back upstairs and get the scarf I intended to wear in the first place. Well, Im surprised at you Emily. These are your friends were seeing tonight. You would have thought that my appearance would be a priority for you. I didnt want to go to this thing in the first place. I have an early meeting in the morning, and I would much rather go to bed and ignore the fact that the symphony has to reupholster its mezzanine this year.
[Emily reads a note on the table and starts to cry]
RICHARD: Emily? Emily?
CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE (PRESENT)
[Emily waits while Lorelai reads through the DVD players instruction manual]
EMILY: Well, can you do it?
LORELAI: I have no idea.
EMILY: Where are you going? Are you going to take it back?
LORELAI: Im going upstairs.
LORELAI: I think I should put this in your bedroom. Thats your best TV.
EMILY: You just said you didnt know how to hook that up.
LORELAI: Ill figure it out.
EMILY: But there are wires involved and connections and electricity. You could hurt yourself or set the house on fire.
LORELAI: [sings] In your Easter bonnet. . .
EMILY: You could ruin our television set.
LORELAI: . . .with all the frills upon it, youll be the grandest fella in the Easter parade. Hoo! I'll be all in clover. . .
EMILY: I dont like being ignored, Lorelai.
LORELAI: . . .and when they look us over, well be the proudest people in the Easter parade.