written by Daniel Palladino
directed by Kenny Ortega
transcript by Stacy
OPEN AT LORELAIS HOUSE
[Lorelai and Rory are on the couch watching television]
RORY: I like these women.
LORELAI: I love these women.
RORY: Poor Edie.
LORELAI: Which Edie?
RORY: Little Edie. Shes just trying to sing and her mom wont stop talking.
LORELAI: Big Edie was so beautiful in her day.
RORY: They were both pretty.
LORELAI: I cant believe they were related to Jackie.
RORY: Well, the Kennedys kind of hid them in the background for many years.
LORELAI: Well, when youre a Kennedy, how do you even choose who in the family to hide?
RORY: Its a tough choice.
LORELAI: Something beautiful about them though. Theyre cool, theyre free.
RORY: Yeah, and theyre memorable. Most people are very forgettable. And theyre happy.
LORELAI: They had their cats.
RORY: And their raccoons.
LORELAI: And their pretty house.
RORY: And each other.
LORELAI: Add a few years and theyre us.
RORY: Yeah. . .yeah.
CUT TO THE INDEPENDENCE INN KITCHEN
[Sookie rushes around giving instructions]
SOOKIE: Rhiana, run it through the sieve again, I want it smooth as glass. Dont cut corners, people!
LORELAI: Is she melting down?
MICHEL: Like butter on a skillet.
LORELAI: Sookie. . .
SOOKIE: Just a sec, hon. Hows your love life, Pete? A little frustrated, I bet. Wondering how I know that? Cause youre taking it out on my egg whites. Gently, fold them gently. Cheryl youre slicing not dicing, I can hear it in the chop. Adjust, my friend.
LORELAI: Sookie, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, lets talk.
SOOKIE: Im extremely lacking in time here.
LORELAI: Whats going on?
SOOKIE: Uh, chaos? Uh, a travesty of cooking? Its a salmonella laboratory in here!
LORELAI: Sookie, the kitchen will be in good hands.
SOOKIE: But not in my hands.
LORELAI: Itll be in Bob hands. Bob has great hands.
SOOKIE: No, you know what Bob has? Bob has two seconds to get the hollandaise off the flame before I break his neck!
LORELAI: Sookie, listen, you hired Bob. You trained him in your image. Hes great, and hes subbed for you before.
SOOKIE: But this is Thanksgiving, he has never done Thanksgiving.
LORELAI: Hes ready, hell sub for you seamlessly. Even Big Joe Newsanchors have substitutes.
SOOKIE: And thats the thing. They still say, And now the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather. You see? Dan is still associated with it even though hes off snorkeling or something, just like Im gonna be associated with the dinner because Bob is substituting for Sookie. Excuse me one minute.
[Sookie starts rummaging through the trash can]
MICHEL: Oh, this can only be good.
LORELAI: Sookie, thats the garbage. Stop rooting through the garbage.
SOOKIE: I will when people stop throwing away useful stuff!
LORELAI: Drop, drop the, drop the tops, drop em, drop em. Come here, come here, come here. Now, Sookie, listen to me because youre torturing yourself here.
[Emily walks in and stands behind Lorelai]
SOOKIE: Emily, hi.
LORELAI: Oh, thats nice. Thats very high school. Stick with me here.
SOOKIE: Good to see you.
LORELAI: Yeah, ah, thats funny. You know whos behind you? Its Joseph Stalin, my good friend. What are you doing back from the dead, Joe?
LORELAI: Oh, Mom! Ah, geez, you scared me.
EMILY: You heard Sookie greet me.
LORELAI: Oh, I thought it was a joke.
EMILY: Like comparing me to Joseph Stalin?
LORELAI: I wasnt comparing you to Joseph Stalin.
EMILY: Im in a hurry. Can we speak for a minute?
LORELAI: Yeah, I guess, for a minute. So, were you in the area or something?
EMILY: Not really.
LORELAI: Then what are you doing here?
EMILY: I wanted to talk to you.
LORELAI: Phones out of order?
EMILY: Lets not play games here.
EMILY: Ive called several times the past few weeks and youve skillfully avoided every call.
LORELAI: No, thats not true. Ive left messages on your machine.
EMILY: Yes, messages. And then if I happened to pick up, youd hang up. Or if the maid picked up, youd ask for me, then claim you were driving through a tunnel so you might get cut off, and then youd make garbling noises and hang up.
LORELAI: Fine, Mom, were talking now. Whats up?
EMILY: Are you feeling well?
LORELAI: You came all the way out here to ask me that?
EMILY: Well, youve been sick these past few Fridays for dinner, so I was concerned. Thats why you didnt come, right, because you were sick? So are you better? You look fine.
LORELAI: Oh, its the makeup. Im still. . .uh, these allergies really just hit me like a ton of bricks.
EMILY: Ive never heard you mention allergies before.
LORELAI: Im a silent sufferer.
EMILY: Well, I certainly hope youre feeling better now because I want you to come to dinner tomorrow night.
LORELAI: Tomorrow? Tomorrows Thanksgiving.
EMILY: Yes, it is Thanksgiving. And before you sift through the dozen or so excuses you always have on hand, let me have my say. Youve missed two dinners and avoided my calls because youre mad at us about what happened at Yale. But I want you and Rory at Thanksgiving this year.
EMILY: If you have plans
LORELAI: We do have plans.
EMILY: Alter them. Now, therell be other people there, so the focus wont be on you, and you may even be able to get by without saying more than hello, goodbye, and pass the gravy.
LORELAI: We already have plans.
EMILY: Your father and I are going out of town the next day and well be gone all of December, including Christmas, so its the last chance for the family to be together for the rest of the year.
EMILY: And I want you to remember that I am not the one who set the meeting for Rory behind your back. I want you there, Lorelai. And if youre still sick, I dont want a doctors note. I want your doctor himself to come to my house and convince me that its true, got it?
LORELAI: Got it.
EMILY: See you tomorrow.
CUT TO CHILTON
TEACHER: The multi-layered membrane systems of the cytoplasm are the smooth endoplasmic reticulum, the rough endoplasmic reticulum, and the golgi body. Now, the smooth endoplasmic reticulum is concerned with the manufacture of lipid molecules. [bell rings] Well continue on this next week. Keep up on your reading please.
MADELINE: That was really distracting.
PARIS: Oh. Well, by all means, Madeline, you should point out to the faculty that their annoying custom of teaching is distracting you from more important things like nail filing and daydreaming about marrying Ryan Phillippe.
LOUISE: Uh, hes already married.
PARIS: Then whatever strawhead actor isnt.
MADELINE: This was bad. For the last five minutes, every single thing she said sounded dirty.
LOUISE: Yeah, same here.
PARIS: Good God.
MADELINE: I mean, reticulum? Come on.
LOUISE: Plus, the golgi body. I mean, is it me or is that majorly pornographic?
PARIS: My life with the Banger sisters.
RORY: So, changing the subject. . .
RORY: Whats everybody doing for Thanksgiving?
PARIS: I cant even talk about Thanksgiving.
LOUISE: Im having dinner with my dad.
MADELINE: Isnt he still in jail?
LOUISE: Yes, but his company donated some treadmills for the inmates so he swung a special trailer for dinner that theyre gonna set up for us in the parking lot. We have it for about two hours and then one of the Manson girls gets us.
MADELINE: Youre lucky its in that order.
PARIS: My Thanksgiving is turning into a Wes Craven movie.
RORY: How so?
PARIS: I called shelters to volunteer to serve food. Its Thanksgiving youd think they have needs. Nope. Every stupid soup kitchen in town turned me down because they have enough volunteers.
PARIS: Im on a couple waiting lists, but it doesnt look good.
RORY: Ive never heard of too many volunteers.
PARIS: Who are all these jackasses who volunteered anyway? They cant all be students like me. Theyre not all putting it on a college application. I get something out of it and these other people dont get a thing. Talk about selfish.
LOUISE: Sore subject.
RORY: What are you up to, Madeline?
MADELINE: Ive got more college applications to fill out. Backups, safety schools.
LOUISE: Ive got some of that, too. Im so behind.
PARIS: I told you guys to have those things done by now.
LOUISE: Sorry, Mom.
PARIS: Its not about being sorry. Its about being prepared. I got Harvard and my backups in weeks ago.
MADELINE: Okay, all youre doing is making me more nervous. Ill see you guys Monday.
LOUISE: Same here.
RORY: Yup, see you guys Monday.
PARIS: Harvard is going to be expecting Thanksgiving shelter work. Theyll know I called too late and it will totally impugn my organizational skills. By the way, you know I ultimately do all these things for the good of mankind, right?
RORY: Oh yeah.
PARIS: Sometimes I dont think I come off that way.
[Paris cell phone rings]
PARIS: [answers phone] Hello? . . . Yes, thanks for returning my call. . . nothing? But wait, wait, wait just stick me at any old pot. Im small, you wont even know Im there, Ill even bring my own ladle. . . .Oh, now, come on, work with me here. Ive got a slotted spoon. . . Well, what about coffee or condiments? You got condiments covered? . . . Im sorry, can I speak to your supervisor? . . . My attitude? What about your attitude? Im trying to help people. Its Thanksgiving. . .
CUT TO STARS HOLLOW
[Lorelai and Rory are walking down the sidewalk]
RORY: So she coldcocked you, huh?
LORELAI: She bit me, incapacitated me with her poison, and devoured me whole.
RORY: But how are we going to go to four Thanksgiving dinners?
LORELAI: Its not four, is it?
RORY: Lanes house, Sookies, and we always stop by Lukes. . .thats three, and Grandma and Grandpa is four.
LORELAI: Ah, were mad, Edie.
RORY: Were us, Edie.
LORELAI: Well, weve gotta go to my parents or well be brought up on war crimes. Lanes is always super early, so thats easy to catch. Sookies is mid afternoon.
RORY: Lukes the toughie.
LORELAI: Guess thats the one well have to skip.
LORELAI: I know, but he wont care. Holidays are nothing to him anyway.
[Kirk walks out of The Chat Club with several bags]
LORELAI: Hey Kirk. Discover a new freaky fetish?
LORELAI: Nothing. You buy a cat?
KIRK: Yup. Im very excited.
LORELAI: You seem it. So whats all this?
RORY: Im assuming theres nothing left in the store.
KIRK: Actually, there are a number of things left.
RORY: No, I meant you seem to be buying a lot of stuff.
KIRK: Oh, sorry. My excitement must be clouding my ability to judge comedic hyperbole.
LORELAI: So whered you get the cat?
KIRK: A lady had a bunch of them at the grocery store and Kirk seemed to take an instant liking to me.
LORELAI: No, I mean, the cats name is Kirk?
LORELAI: Weird coincidence or. . .
KIRK: I named him Kirk.
LORELAI: Isnt that confusing?
KIRK: Not when you think about it.
[Lorelai thinks about it]
LORELAI: No, its still confusing.
KIRK: I like the name, and whenever I call Kirks name, I obviously wont be calling myself.
KIRK: Although when my mom calls for Kirk, that may be confusing. Maybe I can get her to say CatKirk when shes calling Kirk, and HumanKirk when shes calling me.
RORY: That would keep it straight.
KIRK: Im glad I ran into you. See ya.
LORELAI: See ya, HumanKirk.
RORY: Bye HumanKirk.
[Kirk walks away]
RORY: Hes always been a cat person, hes just never had a cat.
CUT TO LUKES DINER
[Lorelai and Rory walk in]
LORELAI: Hey. Anywhere?
LORELAI: [to customer at table] Hm, would you mind moving?
LUKE: I hate when you do that.
LORELAI: Its my showstopper.
LUKE: An empty table.
LORELAI: Ah. You ready to order?
RORY: Im ready.
LUKE: Dont bother, saw you coming, already ordered your Wednesday usual the French dip, extra fries, the every-Wednesday cherry pie.
RORY: Such service.
LORELAI: Oh, and such a food rut were in.
RORY: Thank you, Luke.
LUKE: I gotta get back to stuffing my turkey.
LORELAI: Oh, honey, do you have time to do that and prep your Thanksgiving food?
LUKE: Stop it.
RORY: Here, here.
LUKE: Its a tedious job.
LORELAI: Well, what if we told you you could stuff one less?
LUKE: What do you mean?
LORELAI: We got jammed. Shanghaied by my mother and what with the other things we have going. . .well, too many commitments, not enough us.
RORY: We cant make it tomorrow.
LUKE: Oh, okay, fine.
LORELAI: It was beyond our control.
LUKE: Thats fine, whatever. Ill be right back. [walks away]
LORELAI: Um, okay, I may be crazy, but he almost looked. . . .
LORELAI: Yes, disappointed. We disappointed Luke.
RORY: I didnt think it was possible.
LORELAI: Our powers are greater than we know.
RORY: He actually likes it when we come for Thanksgiving. All these years and we never knew.
LORELAI: Hm, hes the Grinch and were Cindy Lou Who.
RORY: So Cindy Lou, what do we do?
LORELAI: I got it.
[Lorelai picks up her cell phone as Luke walks over]
LORELAI: [on phone] Oh, uh, perfect. That works great. Okay, bye now. [hangs up] Sorry, Im just clarifying the schedule for tomorrow. As luck has it, we can make it. Well definitely be here.
LUKE: Its okay.
LORELAI: No, its all cleared. That was my mom, and, uh, the times just gonna work out just fine.
LUKE: Really, you dont have to. I already stopped prepping the last turkey.
LORELAI: Well, start prepping it again cause we are coming.
LUKE: I dont want you to feel like you have to come.
LORELAI: This is tiring.
RORY: I can kneel behind him and you can push him over.
LORELAI: It may come to that.
LUKE: It wont be a hassle?
LORELAI: It wont be a hassle.
LUKE: You sure?
LORELAI: Were coming, now go away and let us eat. Shoo, shoo.
[Luke walks away]
RORY: That was very nice.
LORELAI: Well, I hate disappointing people.
RORY: Okay, now, practical question. . . how are we going to eat four Thanksgiving dinners?
LORELAI: How? Rory, what are we if not world champion eaters?
RORY: Its too much food.
LORELAI: Its not too much food. This is what weve been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny. This is our finest hour.
RORY: Or final hour.
LORELAI: No, no. Get inspired and tomorrow I guarantee you, we will be standing on the Olympic platform receiving our gold medals for eating. We are not Michelle Kwan-ing this.
RORY: Okay, okay, four dinners.
LORELAI: Yeah, well skip the rolls.
RORY: Thatll help. You know, we might wanna consider not eating much now in preparation for our finest hour. A little fasting so that we can enjoy more tomorrow, hm?
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[On Thanksgiving morning, Lorelai and Rory are walking toward the market]
RORY: What's on the list?
LORELAI: Flowers for everyone we're visiting and cranberry sauce for the Kims.
LORELAI: You mean amateur pills?
RORY: Just in case.
LORELAI: Okay, Tums.
RORY: Ill do the flowers.
LORELAI: Ill do Dooses.
RORY: Thank you.
[Lorelai goes into the market. Jess walks up behind Rory]
JESS: Hey there.
RORY: Hey. [he kisses her, but Rory pulls away] Wait, stop.
JESS: What are you doing?
RORY: Come on. [Rory pulls him down the sidewalk a little, then kisses him]
JESS: What was that?
RORY: That was a kiss.
JESS: Whats with the relocation before the kiss?
RORY: It's too early.
JESS: Too early? Too early for what?
RORY: For kissing like that.
JESS: What's the rule, no kissing before noon?
RORY: No, it's too early to do this here.
JESS: Where, in the street?
RORY: In the street, with people watching...
JESS: What people?
RORY: In front of Doose's.
JESS: Ah, Doose's.
RORY: We shouldn't flaunt it.
JESS: But I want to flaunt it.
RORY: It doesn't feel right.
JESS: He's a big boy Rory.
RORY: I know.
JESS: It's not the first time a couples broken up.
RORY: It is for us.
JESS: This is insane.
RORY: Please, lets not flaunt it, please?
JESS: For how long?
RORY: Until it's comfortable.
JESS: Before we're on Social Security?
RORY: I promise, we can kiss secretly.
JESS: Yeah, or we can wear Three Stooges masks all the time, that way no one will know who we are.
RORY: I can be Curly.
JESS: Ill be Moe.
RORY: Probably too silly.
JESS: Yeah, probably.
RORY: This will get better over time, I promise. But until then, lets just play it cool.
JESS: Hey, Im Frank at the Sands.
RORY: Thats cool.
CUT TO INSIDE DOOSES MARKET
[Lorelai is shopping]
LORELAI: Oh, hey, Kirk. Doing your holiday shopping?
KIRK: Well, shopping, yes, and it is a holiday, but my shopping isnt holiday related, so technically no.
LORELAI: Oh, what happened there?
KIRK: Oh, nothing, just a little scratch.
LORELAI: Looks like a big scratch. Wow, Bactine, Neosporin, Mercurochrome whats with all the pharmacologicals?
KIRK: Oh, well, Kirk and I are going through a little adjustment period, thats all.
KIRK: Its no biggie, and this looks a lot worse than it is.
LORELAI: Yeah, I can see that. So howd it happen? Were you playing or something?
KIRK: We havent actually played yet. This happened when I accidentally walked into the room without announcing myself.
LORELAI: Excuse me?
KIRK: Ive discovered Kirk likes my presence announced before I enter any room that hes in.
LORELAI: You have to announce yourself?
KIRK: Yeah, just a quick, Is it okay if I come in? from the adjacent room. Otherwise, he gets a little testy.
LORELAI: Hence the scratch.
KIRK: Its just a small laceration. Again, no biggie.
LORELAI: Kirk, he got your neck!
KIRK: That was another mistake of mine. I put his food bowl down in front of him. He doesnt like that. Or she doesnt.
LORELAI: She? I thought Kirk was a boy.
KIRK: That was just a guess. He actually hasnt exposed his underside to me yet. Or hers.
LORELAI: Well, heres hoping your cat exposes itself to you soon.
KIRK: From your mouth to Gods ears. See ya.
LORELAI: See ya.
[Lorelai walks over to Dean]
LORELAI: Hi there.
LORELAI: So you pulled the Thanksgiving shift, huh?
DEAN: Yeah, I get time and a half.
LORELAI: Well, good, good. Its good to see you.
DEAN: Same here. Um, so, I gotta work.
LORELAI: Right, right. That Taylors a dictator.
LORELAI: Dean, wait. Um, look, we live in a teeny tiny little hamlet here. I mean, stick it in an envelope and we could mail the whole town for a buck-forty. It makes avoiding people tough and uncomfortable.
DEAN: I know.
LORELAI: I hate hiding from people, especially when I dont wanna hide from them. You were a pal. You were so good to Rory. You were the best first boyfriend a mother couldve hoped for.
LORELAI: Its okay to keep avoiding me if you want. I just wanted you to know that you dont need to, okay? Just because you and Rory broke up doesnt mean we did.
DEAN: Good. Thats good to hear.
LORELAI: Well, Happy Thanksgiving.
DEAN: Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Lorelai walks out of the diner with a bag. Rory is waiting with several bouquets of flowers]
LORELAI: Aw, pretty!
RORY: Yeah, good selection today. You get everything?
LORELAI: And then some. Look.
RORY: Chocolate turkeys, nice!
LORELAI: I think theyll add a festive air.
RORY: Definitely. So, was he in there?
LORELAI: Yeah, he was.
RORY: Good, good. I hope hes good. Did he seem good?
LORELAI: He seemed good. Hes getting time and a half.
RORY: Good, good.
LORELAI: So, lets go eat.
RORY: And eat and eat.
LORELAI: And eat and eat and eat.
RORY: And eat and eat and eat and eat. . .
LORELAI: And eat and eat and eat and eat. . .
RORY: And eat some more.
LORELAI: And eat and eat.
CUT TO KIMS ANTIQUES
[Mrs. Kim opens the door; Lorelai and Rory are on the porch]
MRS. KIM: Ah, the Gilmores. Happy Thanksgiving.
LORELAI: Happy Thanksgiving.
RORY: Happy Thanksgiving.
MRS. KIM: Come in.
LORELAI: Shes in a good mood this year.
RORY: Downright chipper.
LORELAI: So, um, Mrs. Kim, we, uh, we brought gifts.
LORELAI: And cranberry sauce, our little Thanksgiving tradition.
MRS. KIM: Thank you, can never have too much.
RORY: Thats what we say.
LORELAI: Plus, a chocolate turkey.
MRS. KIM: What should I do with this?
LORELAI: Oh, I dont know, let the kids share it.
MRS. KIM: And then send a blank check to their dentist?
LORELAI: They dont have to eat it, they can play with it.
MRS. KIM: Play with chocolate? Its missing its head.
LORELAI: Ooh, that ones ours. Here, this one has a head. There ya go.
MRS. KIM: Okay. [walks away]
LORELAI: My arms are too short to box with Mrs. Kim.
RORY: The singings already begun.
LORELAI: Mm. Whos that playing guitar? He looks familiar.
RORY: Oh my God, thats Lanes Dave.
LORELAI: Oh, yeah, it is. Hes all neat and tidy.
RORY: Hes gone corporate.
LORELAI: Hes gone Korean.
[Lane walks by and sees them]
LANE: Oh, hey, hi.
RORY: Hey yourself. Hey, howd you get your mom to let you
LANE: Come on, girls, lets get you some punch. [leads them to the other room]
RORY: Whats going on?
LANE: That is not Dave Rygalski.
LORELAI: Oh, intrigue.
RORY: Who is it?
LANE: I mean, not the one that Im in a band with. That is Dave Rygalski, local Christian guitar player that my mom and I met very briefly and innocently at the dance marathon, and that I coincidentally ran across again when I found his ad seeking Christian guitar accompaniment gigs up on our church bulletin board.
LANE: I even put the fake ad up at church and pretended to find it with my mom next to me.
RORY: Youre good.
LORELAI: So, are you guys dating?
LANE: Were laying the groundwork. If she gets to know him before we date and she approves of him, we wont have to hide anything.
LORELAI: Right, except how you met.
RORY: And who he really is.
LANE: But other than that, its completely fib-free. Shh, shh!
MRS. KIM: Watch it. You break it, you buy it. Ten percent off for cousins, twenty percent off for nephews and nieces.
[Lorelai, Rory, and Lane walk into the room where the food table is set up]
LORELAI: Yung Kwan, good to see you. Hee Kim, hi. Oh, I love your hair. Su Nam, hi. Hi. Ho Kyung, Wan Kyu, great to see you, hi. Oh, Mrs. Kim, just a beautiful table, as always.
MRS. KIM: Try the tofurkey. Turkey made from tofu.
RORY: Oh, we definitely will.
MRS. KIM: And meet the guitar player. Nice young man, big fan of tofurkey. David?
MRS. KIM: This is Rory Gilmore and Mrs. Gilmore.
LORELAI: Hi, nice to meet you.
DAVE: Oh, same here.
RORY: I think Ive seen you around town.
DAVE: Yeah, that might be a possibility. Happy Thanksgiving.
LORELAI: Same to you.
MRS. KIM: Hymn 17 please.
DAVE: Yes, maam.
LORELAI: Wow, he seems like a very upright young man.
MRS. KIM: Not a bad sight-reader either. [walks away]
RORY: Youre taking tofurkey?
LORELAI: Uh huh, and some extra napkins to slip the tofurkey into when no one is looking and then toss them away.
RORY: Very smart.
LANE: Um, Mama, just a thought, but maybe we can take a break from the hymns while we eat?
MRS. KIM: No break, hes paid to play. We can quit singing for now, but he should play soft in the background, okay?
DAVE: Yeah. Yes, maam.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Lorelai and Rory walk down the sidewalk]
RORY: The best laid plans.
LORELAI: Tell me about it.
RORY: How do you feel?
LORELAI: I ate tofurkey. How do you think I feel?
LORELAI: Drat that Mrs. Kim for not taking her eyes off me the whole time. . . its like she was anticipating my napkin maneuver.
[They walk up to Sookies yard. Sookie is sitting at a picnic table, and a group of people is standing near the porch]
LORELAI: Hi hon!
RORY: Happy Thanksgiving.
SOOKIE: Ah, thank you. Thank God, civilization has arrived.
LORELAI: Whats wrong?
SOOKIE: Whats wrong? Uh, do you not see whats going on here?
LORELAI: Whats that?
SOOKIE: That is a vat of boiling oil.
LORELAI: Really? Wheres Quasimodo?
SOOKIE: This is not a joking matter.
RORY: What is the oil for?
LORELAI: For pouring on visigoths.
LORELAI: When else am I gonna get to use my visigoth material?
RORY: Whats the oil for?
SOOKIE: The turkey. My beautiful, expensive, organically grown turkey.
LORELAI: I dont get it.
SOOKIE: A couple of days ago, Jackson asked me if he could cook the turkey. I thought he was gonna roast it, stick a couple of onions around it, something simple. So I said yes, figuring that the minute he put it in the oven and leaves the kitchen, I can sneak in and give it a nice herb-bitter rub and stuff it with a pancetta-chestnut stuffing.
LORELAI: Sure, cause hed never notice that.
SOOKIE: Exactly. Then the propane tank arrived, and the industrial burner, and the fifteen gallons of peanut oil. Then he springs it on me Im gonna deep-fry a turkey."
LORELAI: Deep-fried turkey.
SOOKIE: I tried to talk him out of it, but Id already promised and now hes excited about it.
GUY 1: Hey, whats keeping Jackson? Is he on the pot or something?
SOOKIE: Lots of precious memories in the making here.
GUY 1: Hey Jackson, get your butt out here with that gobbler!
SOOKIE: A gobbler.
RORY: Maybe it wont be that bad.
LORELAI: Yeah, deep-fryings kind of in now.
SOOKIE: I dont care. You dont deep-fry turkey. Uh, filet of fish, yes. A batch of fries, yes. A donut, yes. Not turkey.
GUY 1: Come on, lets get going!
GUY 2: Yeah, were hungry!
EVERYONE: Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson. . .
[Jackson pushes open the door and holds up the turkey]
JACKSON: Did someone say. . .Jackson?
[the crowd cheers]
LORELAI: Wow, its like Thunderdome in here.
SOOKIE: He shouldve just driven it out on a monster truck. Hes shamelessly catering to his demographic.
JACKSON: Are you ready?
[the crowd cheers]
SOOKIE: Oh my God, I cant look.
EVERYONE: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six. . .
SOOKIE: Oh my God, theyre counting down.
EVERYONE: . . .five, four, three, two, one!
[Jackson lowers the turkey into the vat]
LORELAI: Its in the vat.
SOOKIE: Its like a death in the family.
LORELAI: Look at the bright side, Sookie. At least this took your mind off the dinner at the inn.
SOOKIE: Oh my God, the inn. What if Bob decides to do something equally awful to the turkey at the inn? I have to call him.
JACKSON: Oh, hey guys.
JACKSON: Neat, huh? And it only takes forty minutes.
JACKSON: How ya doing, hon?
SOOKIE: Oh, fine, Sweets. [Lorelai hands her a beer] And keep em coming.
CUT TO LUKES DINER
[Lorelai and Rory walk in]
LORELAI: Hey everybody.
BABETTE: Oh, hey there dollfaces. Happy Thanksgiving.
MOREY: Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving.
RORY: Hey. [hands Luke a bouquet of flowers]
LUKE: Whats this?
LUKE: What do I do with them?
LORELAI: Ugh, not this again.
RORY: Put them in a vase with water.
LUKE: I dont have a vase.
LORELAI: You do this every year.
LUKE: I dont have vases.
LORELAI: Buy a vase.
LUKE: But I dont need a vase cause I never have flowers.
LORELAI: Except when we bring you flowers every year on Thanksgiving. Buy a vase.
LUKE: Stop bringing me flowers.
LORELAI: Stop bringing me flowers. I knew you were gonna say that because you say the same thing. We have this same exact conversation every year.
LUKE: And every year you point that out.
LORELAI: And every year you point that out.
LUKE: And every year you point that out.
RORY: And then every year we put the flowers on the counter and forget the ugliness ever happened.
LORELAI: Well, at least we have a tradition.
LUKE: Good. Ill be right back. Thats our table over there.
LORELAI: Hey Kirk. Oh my God!
RORY: What happened?
KIRK: Im scratched over sixty percent of my body.
LORELAI: Aw, CatKirk again?
BABETTE: Im so mad at that cat.
MOREY: Very uncool cat.
BABETTE: I love cats, but I love Kirk, too. Its pretty much fifty-fifty, and thats a high compliment, my friend.
LORELAI: How did this happen?
KIRK: Well, the tension of our standoff was unbearable, so I got on the floor and tried to play with him.
LORELAI: Its a him?
KIRK: I caught a peek.
LORELAI: Go on.
KIRK: I rolled this cute little ball of yarn over to him all nice and gentle. He tried to garrote me with it.
LORELAI: Oh my God.
MOREY: Very uncool.
KIRK: Just grabbed two ends with his paws and came at me.
RORY: But he doesnt have opposable thumbs.
KIRK: Hes beyond them. And hes smart. He knows things, sometimes before they happen.
LORELAI: Get a hold of yourself, man.
KIRK: You havent heard the worst.
RORY: Oh geez, theres worse?
KIRK: When the attacks got particularly brutal, I had no choice but to strip naked and hide under water in the bathtub. I read that cats are afraid of water.
BABETTE: They are, they are.
KIRK: Kirk isnt. He found me, and he seemed to derive greater power from the water. Thats when the bulk of the scratching happened.
LORELAI: Well, then, I think its good youre giving Kirk a little space right now. Just relax and enjoy your food.
KIRK: I cant taste my food.
LORELAI: Well, then, just try to relax.
[Lorelai and Rory walk over to their table; Jess walks over]
RORY: Hey. [they kiss]
LORELAI: Hi, Happy Thanksgiving. So, are you joining us?
JESS: Uh, sure, if thats okay.
LORELAI: Yeah, sit, sit.
[Luke and Caesar bring the plates over]
JESS: God, Im starved.
LUKE: You couldve eaten.
JESS: You kept telling me not to eat.
LUKE: I did not.
JESS: You did, too. You said you were waiting for them.
LORELAI: Aw, you didnt have to wait for us.
LUKE: I wasnt waiting for you, it just worked out this way.
RORY: Looks great.
LUKE: Shouldnt we give thanks first?
JESS: Thanks for what?
LUKE: Well, that were not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for smallpox infested blankets.
LUKE: So where you guys in your day?
RORY: We hit the Kims, we hit Sookies, and we go to the grandparents from here.
LORELAI: Full day.
LUKE: Yeah. Well, you can skip eating this one if you want. Just have cokes or something, its no big deal.
LORELAI: No, no way, youre the main event today, my friend.
LUKE: Oh, good.
RORY: Whats good are the yams.
LORELAI: Definitely. Got some more marshmallows?
LUKE: Yeah, I can grab some. Hey, refill some coffees. [Luke and Jess walk away]
LORELAI: So, no offense, but lame-o kiss.
LORELAI: You and Jess, like a couple chickens pecking at each other.
RORY: Mind your own business.
LORELAI: Well, it was right in front of me.
RORY: So, I dont need a review.
RORY: Im just not good with the public displays.
LORELAI: You didnt have that problem with Dean.
RORY: I know, but now I just feel like everybodys watching me.
LORELAI: People are not watching you.
RORY: You were watching me.
LORELAI: I created you. Its biologically predetermined that I watch you.
RORY: I just dont know how this whole second boyfriend thing is supposed to go.
LORELAI: Well, hes your first second boyfriend. Give it time.
RORY: The whole town got used to me with Dean, its just weird.
LORELAI: Itll get easier. Youre gonna have hundreds of men in your life.
RORY: Gee, thanks.
LORELAI: Well, maybe not hundreds, but a couple, three, more. Itll get easier.
RORY: I guess.
LORELAI: Honey, theyll adjust to seeing you with Jess.
RORY: And then theres Dean. What do I do about him?
LORELAI: Well, you know, hell be moving on, too.
RORY: Oh, right, of course he will, yeah.
BABETTE: Well, were outta here.
MOREY: Time to walk some of this off.
BABETTE: Oh, wed have to walk to China to walk all of it off. Which ways China?
LORELAI: Thataway. Have a good night.
BABETTE: Thanks. By the way, that was some half-assed kiss you two had. You gotta give it a little something, honey.
LORELAI: Bye Babette. Bye Morey.
RORY: The whole town is watching.
CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[Lorelai and Rory walk up to the front door]
RORY: You ready for this?
LORELAI: Of course.
RORY: Even with the Cold War?
LORELAI: Thats been going on for thirty-four years? I can manage.
RORY: Its been a bit colder these past few weeks.
LORELAI: Oh no, Im fine, you know why? Because in two hours and I do plan on extricating us from here in exactly two hours the night will be over and I wont have to see them again until next year. Oh, start your stopwatch.
[Emily opens the door]
RORY: Hi Grandma. Happy Thanksgiving.
EMILY: Thank you, Rory. Happy Thanksgiving, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Happy Thanksgiving. [mumbles to Rory] One hour, fifty-nine minutes, and forty seconds.
[they walk into the house]
LORELAI: Oh, wow, its a piano player.
EMILY: Thats Brad. I found him at Nordstroms.
LORELAI: Was he on sale?
EMILY: I thought a little background music would add a nice touch. He knows every song ever written.
LORELAI: Free Bird! Hi Brad.
EMILY: Lorelai, please. Now come along, everyones here. [they walk to living room] Were all here.
RICHARD: Oh, good. Happy Thanksgiving, Rory.
RORY: Happy Thanksgiving, Grandpa.
RICHARD: These are our guests, Natalie and Douglas Swope.
EMILY: You two have met.
LORELAI: Yes, at the auction.
NATALIE: Good to see you again.
DOUGLAS: Nice to meet you.
LORELAI: Yes, you, too.
RORY: Same here.
RICHARD: And this is our international contingent, Claude and Monique Clemenceau. Theyre just in from France.
LORELAI: Ah, Clemenceau, huh, Id have guessed Spain.
CLAUDE: Hello, how are you? [kisses Lorelais hand]
LORELAI: Oh, ooh.
RICHARD: Monique, voici ma fille et ma petite fille.
MONIQUE: Ah. Elle sont si jolies.
CLAUDE: My Monique speaks only French, so please excuse the inconvenience.
LORELAI: Oh, no, thats fine. I love French.
CLAUDE: She really wants to learn English, perhaps tonight will inspire her. [to Monique] Je leur ai dit que tu voulais à prendre langlais.
MONIQUE: Langlais, oui, je veux à prendre, mais je suis tellement parasseuse.
RICHARD: Ah, ça prends de temps, Monique. Ah, t'en fais pas.
RICHARD: Oh, no no no. Thats why I love it when the Clemenceaus visit. It gives me the opportunity to haul out my rusty French.
CLAUDE: Your French is wonderful, Richard. It always has been.
RICHARD: Aw, non, tu es tres gentil. Please, sit, sit, sit.
CLAUDE: Merci. So, Rory, you speak French at all?
RORY: Just a tiny little bit.
CLAUDE: Un tout petite peu?
RORY: Oui, un tout petite peu.
CLAUDE: And you, my dear?
LORELAI: Even less. Uh, voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir? Thats about it.
EMILY: Oh my God.
LORELAI: Its just a joke.
RICHARD: Asking my friend to go to bed with you is a joke?
RORY: Its a song.
LORELAI: Its just a joke, Dad.
CLAUDE: Oh, voici cest un chanson du pop. Its a pop song, ah, Monique. . . I did not know that.
MONIQUE: Lady Marmalade.
CLAUDE: Its very rich. Its very, very funny.
LORELAI: Oh, well, thank you.
CLAUDE: You need a drink, oui?
LORELAI: Very astute, Claude. Martini with a twist, Dad.
RICHARD: All right.
DOUGLAS: Is this your first American Thanksgiving, Claude?
CLAUDE: It is, it is. Ive seen it in the movies. People seem to eat and eat and eat until they cant eat anymore.
LORELAI: Thats about it.
NATALIE: Its about giving thanks, gets you thinking about the good things.
DOUGLAS: We have a lot to give thanks for in this country.
CLAUDE: Me, I start each day giving thanks for three things Cuban cigars, French champagne, and gorgeous women. And I must give extra thanks for the extraordinary group here tonight.
LORELAI: Douglas, Richard, leave us, wont you?
EMILY: Just another joke.
CLAUDE: Oh, I missed another joke?
NATALIE: You have your mothers wit.
EMILY: Sometimes I wish shed give it back.
DOUGLAS: Emily mentioned that you were coming from another function?
CLAUDE: No, this is your second dinner?
RORY: Fourth, actually.
RICHARD: Oh, thank you for fitting us in, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Dont worry, Dad. Youre the main event. [to Rory] An hour and fifty six minutes.
CUT TO DINING ROOM
[Everyone is seated at the table]
NATALIE: Beautiful table, Emily. Youve outdone yourself yet again.
EMILY: Oh, its nothing.
RICHARD: Well, is everyone settled? Is everyone comfy?
LORELAI: Yes, Dad, were fine.
RICHARD: Well, then, lets get going.
[Emily rings a bell, the maids bring out the turkey]
DOUGLAS: Oh, wonderful.
CLAUDE: Is it for us or the whole neighborhood?
NATALIE: Very nice.
[Richard carves a piece off, then the maids start to take the turkey away]
LORELAI: Oh, ho, who gets the big piece?
RICHARD: Im sorry?
LORELAI: Arent you supposed to keep carving?
RICHARD: That was strictly ceremonial.
EMILY: Please, start on the salads everyone.
LORELAI: Is there anything ceremonial about the salads? Do we carve a crouton, then have them taken away?
EMILY: No, no ceremony.
RORY: Salads great, Grandma.
EMILY: Im surprised you can eat at this point, even salad.
RORY: Theres still room.
LORELAI: And if there isnt room, well add on. I know a good contractor.
CLAUDE: Shes like your Jerry Lewis. Shes very, very funny.
NATALIE: Rory, did your grandmother say you were a high school senior?
NATALIE: So youre going through this horrible period of applying to college.
RORY: Its not so horrible.
RICHARD: Shes got it pretty well covered.
LORELAI: Thats right.
NATALIE: All your applications are in?
RORY: Ive applied.
DOUGLAS: We have a grandson your age, hes going through hell.
NATALIE: Hes already been turned down for early admission to Stanford, his dream.
DOUGLAS: Took it pretty hard.
NATALIE: Children put so much stress on themselves these days.
RORY: Its pretty stressful.
NATALIE: Hes waiting to hear from his backups.
CLAUDE: I have a grandson who lives with his mother in Orlando, you know, hes going through a very similar thing, poor boy.
EMILY: How do they like Orlando, Claude?
CLAUDE: Well, its all Mickey Mouse this and Mickey Mouse that, you know. They want to die.
EMILY: Thats too bad.
NATALIE: Where did you apply, dear?
DOUGLAS: No word yet?
RORY: Im not supposed to hear back for awhile.
DOUGLAS: Where else?
RORY: Where else?
DOUGLAS: Where else did you apply? Your alternates?
NATALIE: Were so curious, its like weve been going through this ourselves.
RORY: Well, Im pretty much counting on Harvard.
DOUGLAS: Well, you didnt apply to just Harvard, did you?
RORY: Well, no.
NATALIE: Am I prying?
LORELAI: We applied elsewhere?
DOUGLAS: You cant just apply to one place.
NATALIE: Chilton wouldnt allow that.
LORELAI: Is that true?
RORY: Pretty much.
LORELAI: Why didnt you tell me that?
RORY: I was going to.
NATALIE: You have to be safe.
CLAUDE: My grandson six schools.
DOUGLAS: Same with Dustin.
LORELAI: Where else did you apply?
RORY: Just at some other schools.
DOUGLAS: Well, if youre aiming at Harvard, that would be Princeton, Yale, maybe Vassar, Wesleyan.
CLAUDE: Certainly Yale because of Richards connections, yes?
NATALIE: I would assume so.
RORY: Those are the kinds of places, yup.
LORELAI: The kinds of places or the places? Rory?
RORY: Princeton. . . um, Yale.
LORELAI: Yale, Dad?
RICHARD: Oh, this is the first Im hearing about it, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Oh, bull.
LORELAI: You did this.
RICHARD: I havent discussed this awful subject since the debacle at the campus.
LORELAI: You forced her hand.
RICHARD: I did nothing of the sort.
RORY: Mom, wait.
LORELAI: You made it seem like youd be deeply hurt if she didnt apply to Yale, and shes very sensitive, so thats as good as forcing her hand.
EMILY: Lorelai, really.
LORELAI: You wanted her to go to Yale instead of Harvard, didnt you?
RICHARD: Well, that wasnt a secret.
CLAUDE: Lorelai ne veut pas que Rory aille à Yale.
RICHARD: Je suis désolé de ce qui ce passe ici.
LORELAI: Stick to English, Dad.
RORY: Grandpa didnt force my hand.
LORELAI: Honey, you werent aware he was doing it.
RICHARD: She is not a puppet, Lorelai.
RORY: I needed a backup.
LORELAI: But why Yale?
RORY: I could live at home.
LORELAI: Well, you got to her. That was your thing.
NATALIE: Im afraid we started this.
EMILY: This is not your doing, Natalie.
RICHARD: Encore une fois, je suis désolé.
EMILY: I never spoke to Rory about that.
LORELAI: I dont believe you.
RORY: I figured it out on my own, Mom.
LORELAI: Youre saying there have been no conversations, no emails?
RORY: I can read a map.
LORELAI: This is unbelievable.
RICHARD: And past indelicate. We have guests.
LORELAI: Yes, Im sorry, I apologize, Im sorry you have to see this.
EMILY: This is paranoia, Lorelai. Theres been no conspiring.
LORELAI: Im not being paranoid, Mom. For seventeen years, she was going to Harvard, and now all of a sudden, shes applied to Yale and shes mimicking everything you say. This is just crazy. [leaves the room]
CLAUDE: Elle a dit que, cest de la folie.
EMILY: Excuse me, please.
CUT TO BACK PATIO
[Lorelai is standing outside as Emily walks out the back door]
EMILY: Its freezing out here.
LORELAI: Its Jamaica compared to in there.
EMILY: Its just an alternative to Harvard, a backup. It changes nothing.
LORELAI: No, no.
LORELAI: Mom, I dont wanna talk.
EMILY: Do you believe we had nothing to do with this?
LORELAI: Just for a second, Mom, please. Just let me digest this for a second. All this Yale stuff. . .agh!
EMILY: You cant even let Rory have one piece of our lives, even if its her choice. You hate us that much.
[Lorelai doesnt respond. Emily walks back into the house]
CUT TO THE KIMS HOUSE
[The last of the guests are leaving]
MRS. KIM: Goodbye, drive safe.
GUEST: Thank you. [leaves]
LANE: Excellent Thanksgiving, Mama.
MRS. KIM: I think people had fun.
LANE: And it was nice of you to only charge half price on the chair that Yung Hee broke.
MRS. KIM: That was my cost.
LANE: That why it was nice.
DAVE: Well, I guess Ill be going.
MRS. KIM: All right. You did a good job. Thank you for your time, David.
DAVE: Oh, youre welcome, Mrs. Kim. I enjoyed it.
LANE: Yes, thank you.
DAVE: Youre welcome.
MRS. KIM: Here. Some rice, spinach, lots of tofurkey.
DAVE: Great, thanks.
MRS. KIM: And something for your time.
DAVE: Thats very nice, thank you. Happy Thanksgiving.
MRS. KIM: Goodbye.
MRS. KIM: Keep clearing. Im going to start on the kitchen.
LANE: Okay. Oh, Mama, look. Daves bible. He forgot it. Hes gonna need this, too. Ill run it out to him.
MRS. KIM: Wait.
LANE: Were gonna miss him.
MRS. KIM: Let me see that. [takes the bible and reads the inside cover] This bible belongs to God, but is being used by Dave Rygalski. [hands the bible back to Lane] Go on.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Lane rushes down the sidewalk; Dave is waiting by a tree]
DAVE: Wow, you run really quiet.
LANE: Sorry, Im sorry about everything.
LANE: The whole night. I had no idea shed make you play five straight hours without a break.
DAVE: Its okay.
LANE: Your hands must be dead.
DAVE: Theyre just a little numb. But Ive got these Kurt Cobain calluses now, how cool is that?
LANE: But this whole thing, this whole charade, the fake flier and everything, it was too much.
DAVE: Lane, its fine. And that flier Ive gotten like three other calls for paying gigs. I should be paying you a commission.
LANE: Oh, thats not necessary.
DAVE: And check it out twenty bucks.
LANE: Wow, she liked you.
DAVE: Well put it towards our first real date.
LANE: Really? After all this the marathon hymns, the weak punch, the crabby Koreans, you still wanna go out on a date with me?
[Dave nods, then kisses her]
DAVE: Ive gotta go. . . but Im gonna call you tomorrow.
CUT TO SIDEWALK
[Lorelai and Rory are walking down the street]
RORY: Are you mad?
LORELAI: No, Im not mad.
RORY: You seem mad.
LORELAI: Im not mad.
RORY: What are you feeling?
LORELAI: I wouldnt know how to word it.
LORELAI: See, my head knows that whichever one of these places you go, Harvard, Princeton, Yale. . .its gonna be great. Its gonna be awesome, and youre gonna come out on the other side an even more amazing you. But I just wish my head could sit down and have a chat with that gnawing feeling in my gut thats there every time my parents get involved in anything and tell it, its gonna be okay.
RORY: Its gonna be okay.
LORELAI: Nice try.
[They walk across Sookies front yard]
JACKSON: What else are we putting in the pot? Come on, lets think of something. Uh, a raspberry, a deep-fried raspberry. How bout a rasquat?
JACKSON: Cake! Deep-fried cake!
GUY: Dibs on the deep-fried cake!
JACKSON: You havent even eaten your deep-fried biscotti.
[Lorelai and Rory sit down at the picnic table with Sookie]
LORELAI: Hey, Sookie.
SOOKIE: Ah, hi there.
LORELAI: Are you okay?
SOOKIE: This tastes good.
LORELAI: Yeah, it looks like theyre deep-frying
SOOKIE: Vegetables, mashed potatoes, butter, pickles, salt, a napkin.
RORY: And yet, youre very serene.
LORELAI: Uh, youre practically floating.
SOOKIE: Well, you caught me at a good time, ladies. Ive already gone through the five stages of grieving. Denial, anger. . .I dont remember these two, but they were served on the rocks with salt! Now, Im just happily enscotched in acceptance. Enscotched. . .
SOOKIE: Ensconced thats it! I do believe I heard Phil suggest throwing Junior in.
SOOKIE: His nephew.
SOOKIE: I chimed in on that one.
LORELAI: What happened over there?
SOOKIE: Mm, about a half-hour ago they set the lawn on fire.
SOOKIE: But Phil says its okay and everything cause itll grow back twice as lush. Though thats what he said when he broke my salad bowl that I brought back from Belgium. Thatll maybe grow back, too, huh? [laughs] Phil is a riot. Am I crying or laughing?
[Rorys pager goes off]
LORELAI: Whos that?
RORY: Its Lane. It just says bible kiss bible.
LORELAI: What does that mean?
RORY: I have no idea. Good band name, though.
LORELAI: Honey, we should get going? You gonna be okay?
SOOKIE: Im Sookie.
LORELAI: Yeah, I know, but youre gonna be okay, right? Youll go to bed soon.
SOOKIE: Unless they deep-fried it.
LORELAI: Im sure they havent. Okay, well see you tomorrow.
[Lorelai and Rory start walking away]
RORY: Poor thing.
LORELAI: Oh, she may not remember any of it.
JACKSON: Deep-fried shoe!
GUY: Deep-fried shoe!
CUT TO FRONT OF LUKES DINER
[Luke and Jess walk out of the diner; Jess is carrying a garbage bag]
JESS: Get more trash cans.
LUKE: I dont need more.
JESS: You make me run around town for a place to dump this.
LUKE: Just dump it in one of Taylors bins. It gets it out of here and itll drive Taylor crazy. Its a win-win.
LORELAI: Hi guys.
LUKE: Were out of food.
LORELAI: Oh, please, were not eating for a year.
RORY: Or til tomorrow morning.
LORELAI: Whichever comes first. Hi Saint Nick.
JESS: Tell him he needs to get more trash cans.
LUKE: Just go.
LORELAI: You got any coffee?
LUKE: That Ive got. Come on in. Hey, did I see flames coming from Sookies place about a half-hour ago?
LORELAI: Yeah, why?
[Lorelai and Luke walk into the diner. Rory follows Jess down the sidewalk]
JESS: I still say you should get more tra. . .
[Rory kisses him]
[Rory walks away. As Jess carries the trash bag down the street, he finds Dean standing on the sidewalk]
DEAN: Nothing to say?
JESS: Guess not.
DEAN: Thats funny, you usually have something to say.
JESS: Guess Im all talked out.
DEAN: Whats the matter, Jess? Why you walking away?
JESS: Its getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I gotta warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.
DEAN: But nows your chance, theres no one else around.
JESS: Go home. Cool off.
DEAN: Come on, make one of your Boy Scout references, or a good Farmer John joke. I got my Dooses Market apron with me you want me to put it on, give you a little inspiration? I dont get it, what happened you suddenly like me now?
JESS: Oh yeah, I was just about to invite you camping.
DEAN: Good, okay, now were getting somewhere.
JESS: Im not gonna fight you, Dean.
JESS: Cause if I fight you, Rorys gonna think its my fault, so just forget it, okay? Just forget it. Go home. Let it rest.
DEAN: So Rorys got a nice little hold on you now, huh?
JESS: Geez. Dont do that.
DEAN: How does it feel?
JESS: It feels like Im with Rory and youre not.
DEAN: You know, when all this happened with you and me and Rory, I figured Id just stay out of everyones way, that that would be easiest. But now, Im looking at you and Im thinking, Im gonna run from him? The Glad Man. This is my town, Im not hiding. And I dont have be remotely calm around you anymore, and I like that feeling. I like it a lot. Happy Thanksgiving, Jess.
CUT TO INSIDE THE DINER
[Lorelai and Rory are sitting at the counter]
LUKE: So, how did the four dinners work out? You guys must feel more stuffed than youve ever been.
LORELAI: I dont know. Is this more stuffed than the great Six Flags hot dog consumption of 99?
RORY: No, or the taffy binge of 97.
LORELAI: Not by a long shot. See, we didnt eat at my parents because of the upset, so we really had three dinners, not four.
RORY: Which means. . .
RORY: We didnt have to skip rolls.
LORELAI: Oh yeah. Hey, do you have any rolls left?
LUKE: No. Come on.
LORELAI: Just a little something for the walk home.
[Luke hands her a bag of rolls]
LUKE: I dont see how you do it.
LORELAI: Well, youre not us, are ya? Night Luke.
RORY: Night Luke.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Lorelai and Rory walk past the gazebo]
LORELAI: This has been a nice Thanksgiving.
LORELAI: Nicer for some than others though.
LORELAI: Night Kirk!
[Kirk is trying to go to sleep on a bench in the gazebo]