written by Amy Sherman-Palladino
directed by Chris Long
transcript by Stacy
OPEN AT ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[Lorelai, Rory, and Emily are sitting in the living room]
RORY: Well, this is nice, isnt it? [pause] So, Grandma, Grandpa is traveling again, huh?
EMILY: Yes, he is.
RORY: Business must be good.
EMILY: Seems to be.
RORY: Thats great. Isnt that great, Mom?
LORELAI: A jig is forthcoming.
RORY: Moms business is great, too. I mean, not that its without its problem, you know, but theyre usually funny problems. . .like, um. . .oh! Mom, why dont you tell Grandma about the mouse?
EMILY: What mouse?
LORELAI: Theres a mouse at the inn.
EMILY: Is the place dirty?
LORELAI: No, its just surrounded by this thing called nature and. . .mice happen.
EMILY: Mice carry diseases, you know.
LORELAI: Its a tiny little field mouse, Mom.
EMILY: I dont care how big it is, its still a rodent.
LORELAI: Lets just change the subject, shall we?
EMILY: You should set a trap.
LORELAI: Got it covered.
EMILY: Just make sure you dont use poison.
LORELAI: Got it covered.
EMILY: They will eat the poison and then go into the walls and die, decompose, and the entire place will smell.
LORELAI: Ive got it covered, but thanks.
EMILY: I just have to say, I dont know why youre the one sitting here with an attitude. Im the one who should be mad.
LORELAI: Lets not do this, okay Mom?
EMILY: After all, youre the one who just walked out of here last week without saying a word.
LORELAI: Because I couldnt get a word in.
EMILY: Your father and I were shocked and upset.
LORELAI: So what else is new?
EMILY: You didnt give us five minutes to digest the news.
LORELAI: Please, find the off switch.
EMILY: You simply dumped it on us and walked out. I hardly think thats fair.
LORELAI: Mom, it doesnt matter. Its over. Lets just move on, okay? We came here to have a nice evening, so. . .come on, lets have it. [picks up the newspaper from the coffee table]
RORY: Something smells good.
EMILY: Braised lamb shank.
RORY: Oh, braised lamb shank! I love a lamb shank when it is braised.
LORELAI: Oh my God.
EMILY: Reading in front of other people is extremely rude, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Shauna Christy shot her husband.
LORELAI: Shauna Christy, you remember Shauna Christy.
EMILY: Yes, I remember Shauna Christy, she was a lovely girl.
LORELAI: Well, apparently this lovely girl came home to find her husband giving the nanny a nice little bonus package. And they say good help is hard to find.
EMILY: Thats just gossip.
LORELAI: Gossip? The man was shot thirty-five times. He looks like a sprinkler system.
EMILY: I cant believe this. Shauna was always such a nice girl. She was bright, cultured, well-spoken.
LORELAI: And apparently a big Annie Oakley fan.
EMILY: This is not funny, the woman committed a crime.
LORELAI: Okay, fine.
EMILY: This is a tragedy.
LORELAI: My bad, sorry.
EMILY: A man is dead, a young woman ruined.
LORELAI: Consider the subject dropped.
EMILY: At least she had a husband to kill.
LORELAI: This is nice, isnt it?
CUT TO LUKES DINER
[Lorelai and Rory are sitting at a table; Lorelai sneezes]
RORY: Bless you.
LORELAI: Thank you. Ugh, I hate having a cold.
RORY: I know you do.
LORELAI: Ugh, its bad enough being sick, but anybody can have a cold.
RORY: I know they can.
LORELAI: I mean, Id like to have a good illness, something different, impressive. Just once Id like to be able to say, "Yeah, Im not feeling so good, my leg is haunted."
RORY: See, theres a reason why you only take one packet of TheraFlu at a time.
LORELAI: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Luke brings their food]
LUKE: All right, pancakes, one fried egg, side of bacon. Chicken noodle soup, side of mashed potatoes.
RORY: Thanks, Luke.
LUKE: Hows the cold coming?
LORELAI: Its fine.
LUKE: Any better?
LORELAI: Its fine.
LUKE: Its the third day in a row youve ordered soup for breakfast.
LORELAI: Oh, thanks for the tally.
LUKE: You know what helps get rid of a cold?
LORELAI: Endless vague questioning first thing in the morning?
LUKE: A healthy immune system.
LORELAI: My second guess.
LUKE: And you know how you get a healthy immune system?
LORELAI: Remember when you hated me? That was fun, wasnt it?
LUKE: Is it eating nothing but crap all day and blowing out your brain cells with coffee?
LUKE: Thats right, no.
LORELAI: Why are you helping him?
RORY: No seemed like the right answer.
LUKE: Eat a vegetable now and then, maybe some high fiber cereal in the morning.
LORELAI: Listen, Grandpa, my soups getting cold.
LUKE: At least eat the carrots in the soup this time, not just the noodles.
LORELAI: I promise.
[Luke walks away; Lorelai holds her bowl of soup toward Rory]
LORELAI: Eat my carrots.
RORY: Apparently, maturity is extremely overrated in your universe.
LORELAI: Thats right. The Empress Bobo Belle forbids it. Eat.
[Jess girlfriend Shane walks up to Jess at the counter]
JESS: One sec.
JESS: Relax. Im out. Lets go.
LORELAI: Ladies and gentlemen, an entire conversation in ten words or less.
RORY: A true meeting of the minds.
[Dean walks up to their table]
DEAN: Okay, so, uh, please dont hate me, but I already ate breakfast.
RORY: See, nice full sentences.
LORELAI: Dont ruin it.
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN
[Lorelai and Michel are looking into the fireplace]
LORELAI: Youre sure?
MICHEL: Positive. It ran right across the lobby and into the fireplace.
LORELAI: I dont see it.
MICHEL: Well, it mustve found a hole to crawl into.
LORELAI: We cannot have this mouse running around the inn. Customers will freak.
MICHEL: Well, tell them its a baby. People love babies. Theyll talk to it in funny voices.
LORELAI: Did you call an exterminator?
MICHEL: Why, no, what a wonderful idea. I was actually going to fasten a large wedge of cheese to my head and lay on the ground until Mickey gets hungry and decides to crawl out and snack on my face.
LORELAI: When does he get here?
MICHEL: He said we were the first stop.
LORELAI: What do we do until them?
MICHEL: Make cat sounds?
[Kirk walks into the inn carrying a package]
KIRK: Excuse me, Lorelai?
LORELAI: Oh, hey Kirk. Hold on a sec. [to Michel] Just stand here and make sure it doesnt come out.
MICHEL: Oh, goody, a promotion.
LORELAI: [walks over to Kirk] Hi Kirk. What can I do for ya?
KIRK: I have a delivery for Sookie.
LORELAI: Oh, well, anything good?
KIRK: No, just some wedding photos.
LORELAI: Great. Well, she stepped out for a minute, but Ill take em to her. I swear, Ill give em to her. If you want, Ill leave and find her and then Ill give them to her.
KIRK: No, that wont be necessary.
LORELAI: Okay, well. . .
KIRK: Uh, Lorelai, can I speak to you for a moment?
LORELAI: Oh, sure.
KIRK: Could we sit?
LORELAI: Sit. . .sure, lets sit. [they sit down on the sofa] Is everything okay?
KIRK: With me?
KIRK: Well, my mother has developed a condition makes her knees enormous. Yesterday I spent all morning cutting holes in her pants so she could sit, but other than that and the dyspeptic parrot problem, everything is fine.
LORELAI: Well, good, Im glad. Okay, well, um, Im gonna
KIRK: I was just wondering . . .
LORELAI: Yes. . .wondering what?
KIRK: Weve known each other for a good amount of time now. Our, uh, paths have crossed professionally and socially a number of times, all with relatively pleasant results, and well, I was just wondering if you would like to have dinner with me?
KIRK: In two weeks.
LORELAI: Two weeks?
KIRK: I heard you have a cold. I think two weeks is enough time to ensure the virus is out of your system.
LORELAI: Well, Kirk, I
KIRK: You dont have to answer me right away. I know that this is completely out of the blue for you. Take a few days and think about it. [starts walking toward the door]
LORELAI: Kirk, wait.
KIRK: By the way, I think you might be the prettiest girl Ive ever seen. . .outside of a really filthy magazine.
LORELAI: Thank you.
[Kirk leaves; Lorelai walks past Michel]
MICHEL: I am doing nothing. Ben, however, has dropped dead from laughter.
CUT TO RORYS BEDROOM
[Rory wakes up and sees Lorelai sitting in a chair staring at her]
RORY: How long have you been sitting there?
LORELAI: Not long. An hour. . .and a half.
RORY: Cause why?
LORELAI: Because today is the last first day of high school youre ever gonna have.
RORY: Youre insane.
LORELAI: Im not insane, Im just sentimental, and youre grown.
RORY: Im not grown.
LORELAI: Yes, you are, youre all grown up and soon youll be going off into the world.
RORY: Not yet.
LORELAI: But soon. And after you spread those wings and fly away, I wont have the opportunity to give you this.
[Lorelai hands her a piece of paper]
RORY: What is it?
LORELAI: Its your bill.
RORY: My what?
LORELAI: Yeah. Ive been crunching the numbers, you know, adding up what youve cost me over the years raising you, clothing you, feeding you, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
LORELAI: Yes, Ive itemized everything here by years and income ratio. I thought you could factor it into your student loan.
RORY: Oh boy.
LORELAI: One thing thats painfully obvious here youve used an extraordinary number of diapers.
RORY: Im gonna go take a shower.
LORELAI: Really, its cost a fortune. What were you using all those diapers for?
RORY: I was building my make Mommy go away castle.
LORELAI: All right, you got home too late last night and I didnt get a chance to talk to you.
RORY: I got home at ten and you were already asleep.
LORELAI: Well, I was trying to watch The Legend of Bagger Vance again.
RORY: Okay, what did I miss?
LORELAI: Okay. Kirk asked me out.
RORY: Shut up!
LORELAI: Yesterday he came to the inn and asked me to dinner.
RORY: Thats so sweet.
RORY: You should wear your dress with the ponies on it. I bet he likes ponies.
LORELAI: Rory, I cannot go out with Kirk.
LORELAI: Uh huh. . .why? Hes. . .hes Kirk!
RORY: Well, as long as he loves you.
LORELAI: You are not serious.
RORY: I just want you to be happy.
LORELAI: "Hello Headmaster Charleston, this is my stepfather Kirk. Please dont make any sudden movements, hes a fear biter."
RORY: Okay, so how will you let him down?
LORELAI: I dont know. Thats why I needed to talk to you, youre the nice one in the family.
RORY: Well, you could just tell him the truth. You could tell him that youre not interested in dating him and that you just wanna be friends.
LORELAI: That sounds so lame.
RORY: You could tell him youre involved with someone.
LORELAI: Yeah, because my current karma is so great in that area, I can really afford to jinx it with that kind of lie no!
RORY: Okay, then you figure it out.
LORELAI: All right. . .were gonna have to move.
LORELAI: Take off in the middle of the night, leave everything behind, assume different identities. Ill join a local community theater and Ill drive you to soccer. Itll work for many years until the FBI comes to get me, and by that time, youre on your own.
RORY: I dont play soccer.
LORELAI: You do now.
[they walk into the kitchen; as they start getting out stuff for breakfast, Rory laughs.]
RORY: Its funny.
LORELAI: Its not funny, its bad! I have to see this guy. He works at every business in town, I cant get away from him!
RORY: Well, then you should marry him and move in with his mother.
LORELAI: Ill handle it myself, thank you very much.
RORY: Sorry, just trying to help.
LORELAI: So you have your swearing in ceremony today.
RORY: At three, do not be late.
LORELAI: I will not be late.
RORY: Okay, I have something to tell you.
LORELAI: Is it about Vince Foster?
RORY: Its about Grandma.
RORY: Shes coming today.
RORY: Mom, Im sorry. She found out about it, she called. . .
LORELAI: And you said yes?
RORY: Shes my grandmother.
RORY: So what am I supposed to say?
LORELAI: Say "Sorry, Grandma, but if my mother sees you, shell run screaming down the hall."
RORY: Youll be sitting there listening to the ceremony, you hardly have to talk at all.
RORY: Hey, we are family.
LORELAI: Yeah, well, look how great that worked out for Sister Sledge.
RORY: Im gonna go take a shower. Youll be pouting out here when Im done?
LORELAI: No, I gotta go to work. Ill see you this afternoon.
RORY: At three.
LORELAI: There goes my little vice president, off to rule the world.
RORY: Well, Paris will be ruling the world. I will be holding her keys.
LORELAI: Im still proud of you.
RORY: I appreciate it.
LORELAI: Honey, you have power, brains, now all you need is a dimwitted, drunken or drug-addicted relative to constantly humiliate you while you serve in office.
RORY: Will you work on that for me?
LORELAI: Two steps ahead of you.
CUT TO CHILTON
[Rory is standing in the hallway as Lorelai runs up to her]
LORELAI: Ah, time?
LORELAI: No, oh man, not fair, stupid traffic lights!
RORY: Thats okay, it doesnt start til 3:15.
LORELAI: But I so tried to . . . you lied to me.
RORY: Did I?
LORELAI: You said it was at three, and its at three-fifteen.
RORY: Well, I guess I did.
LORELAI: Ah! Thats it, Im standing up in the middle of your speech and demanding a recount.
RORY: Shall we seat you?
LORELAI: Betrayed, lied to and humiliated.
[they walk into the auditorium]
RORY: Well, get used to it I am in politics now.
LORELAI: Hey, wheres, uh. . .
RORY: Shes not here yet.
LORELAI: You told her the real time, didnt you?
RORY: Well, Grandma can handle structure. Hows this?
RORY: Okay, great. You can sit there and you can put your purse on that chair to save it for Grandma.
LORELAI: Oh, yeah, great idea.
LORELAI: Fine, yeah, saving the seat. [sits down and puts her purse on the chair next to her] There, all saved.
RORY: Thank you. Now, Ill meet right outside afterwards, okay?
LORELAI: Okay. I just want you to remember three things while youre sitting up there: I love you, youre the greatest kid in the world, and youre in a skirt, keep your knees closed.
LORELAI: Hey, this is good advice. When I was in school, Linda Lee was class treasurer and she could not keep her knees closed if they were magnetized. Hanes shouldve given her an endorsement deal.
[Rory walks away; Lorelai takes her purse off the seat next to her and holds it on her lap...then puts it back on the chair...then picks it back up again. Shes about to put it back on the chair when Emily walks up]
LORELAI: Hi Mom.
EMILY: [sits down] You couldve put your handbag there to save my seat, you know.
[cut to Headmaster Charleston at the podium on stage]
HEADMASTER: Ladies and Gentlemen, I welcome you. Assemblies like this are always happy ones for me, initiating in a new group of school leaders. Chiltons always prided itself on the quality of its student government, and this year we may have outdone ourselves. These young men and women up on this stage represent the best and the brightest of what this school has to offer. Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to present to you your student body government of 2003. [applause]
[cut to later in the ceremony]
RORY: [at podium] . . .a larger awareness of the world around us. Problems that not only face us here at school but will face us when we leave school, and more importantly, will face the next generation that follows us. We must learn that our actions have consequences, that someone else will have to clean up our mess. We need to figure out how to make that mess a little smaller. If a small fraction of these things can be accomplished this year, then I will feel like our administration has done its job. Thank you. [applause]
[cut to later in the ceremony]
PARIS: [at podium] In the past, all great empires have fallen. The feeling seems to be that its inevitable that something like what the Romans built could not last. Maybe theyre right. Maybe there is no way of keeping something that big and prosperous permanently. Maybe there is no way of keeping our legacy from becoming obsolete. Well, I intend to fly in the face of such thinking, and damn it, I will succeed. I certainly dont wanna come back here twenty years from now on Alumnis Night and find this place turned into a high priced charm school, pink and white with big cheerleading megaphones painted on the walls. I wouldnt be able to take it. I would have to dismantle the place stone by stone with my bare hands. . .
[cut to later in the ceremony]
ALL STUDENTS ON STAGE: I have faith in the Chilton Handbook, so let it be forever.
HEADMASTER: Congratulations and good luck. [applause]
CUT TO HALLWAY
[Lorelai and Emily are waiting outside the auditorium.]
EMILY: Is Rory coming out?
LORELAI: Thats what she said. It was a nice ceremony.
EMILY: Yes, it was.
EMILY: Very long.
LORELAI: The longest.
RORY: [walking up to them] Hey. Youre both here.
LORELAI: Yeah, were here.
EMILY: Of course were here. We wouldnt have missed it for the world. You looked wonderful up there, Rory.
LORELAI: Yeah, good job with the knees.
RORY: Thank you. Im gonna run to my locker and get my backpack, then we can go.
LORELAI: Ill be here.
RORY: Bye Grandma. [walks away]
LORELAI: You know, you dont have to wait, Mom, if you have things to do.
EMILY: Oh. . .well, all right. [starts to walk away, then turns back] Lorelai, I was wondering if we could have lunch.
EMILY: Yes, just the two of us.
LORELAI: Oh, well
EMILY: Tomorrow would be good for me.
LORELAI: Tomorrow, lunch tomorrow, lunch with you tomorrow. . .
EMILY: We can do it anywhere youd like. Perhaps at that Lukes Diner you two seem to love so much.
LORELAI: Lunch at Lukes with you? Wow, I cant even put the visual together.
EMILY: I can meet you there at one.
LORELAI: One? Well
EMILY: If one isnt good, you pick a time. Ill make it work.
LORELAI: All right. One oclock at Lukes.
EMILY: Wonderful. Ill see you then.
CUT TO CHILTON CAFETERIA
[Several students are sitting at a table as Paris walks around them talking]
PARIS: Look, lets face it, the last administration might have just as well been running around yelling Toga! for all the brilliant things they accomplished. But this year everything changes, starting with the library. Its completely out of proportion with its subjects. I mean, theres five hundred volumes on the French Revolution, yet only three on the Crusades. How do they expect us to get a decent education with inferior resources like that? Huh, seems like the hours almost up. Okay, well, I think this has been an extremely successful first gathering. I appreciate all the class presidents coming and being on time. So before I adjourn this meeting, is there anything anyone would like to say?
RORY: Peoples names might have been nice.
FRANCIE: Actually, I have something Id like to put on the table to be discussed.
PARIS: Oh, okay. Well, we only have a couple of minutes, so give us the Readers Digest version.
FRANCIE: As president of the senior class, a certain problem has been brought to my attention. For the past thirty years, the Chilton regulations have stated that skirts must be no higher than three-quarters of an inch above the knee, thats it. Any higher, the student gets written up. I propose to put to an immediate vote an amendment to raise hemlines an additional inch and a half.
FRANCIE: Thats right.
PARIS: Thats the major issue on the senior class mind?
FRANCIE: Its one of the major issues, yes.
PARIS: Well, okay thank you, Francie, for giving us something really important to mull over here. I anticipate a lot of sleepless nights for many of the people in this room. I will take that under advisement and get back to you as soon as I can.
FRANCIE: Oh, okay, fine. Thanks.
PARIS: Now, if thats it, I officially call the first meeting of the Chilton student body presidents to a close. Ill see you all Friday. [bangs gavel on the table]
GIRL: What idiot gave her a gavel?
[Rory walks up to Paris]
RORY: Okay, see, the whole point of having an informal get to know you gathering was actually to have an informal get to know you gathering.
PARIS: Whats your point?
RORY: You just spent an hour walking around talking about your agenda.
PARIS: Im student body president thats my job.
RORY: But we got donuts, and we didnt touch the donuts. The donuts are still sitting next to the coffee that we never passed out. We were supposed to spend this time to talk, bond, get to know each other.
PARIS: Geez, Rory, weve been sitting in a room together for sixty minutes what else do you want, a ring?
FRANCIE: Hi. Excuse me, Paris? I just wanted to say on behalf of the entire senior class, congratulations on your win and Im really looking forward to working very closely with you this year.
FRANCIE: Okay. See you later. Bye Rory. You two are gonna make a great team. [leaves]
PARIS: Yes, the jerseys are coming on Friday. [to Rory] Okay, Im gonna drop the demand for the librarians resignation tonight. You wanna read it before I send it?
RORY: Are you sure the first thing you wanna do in office is to get a ninety-three year old woman sacked?
PARIS: Hey, at least Im not putting her on an iceberg and shoving her off to sea, which considering the fact that you cant find the Shakespeare section without psychic powers yet the Cliffs Notes rack practically smacks you in the face on the way in, is totally justified.
RORY: And were off.
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN
[Sookie walks up to Lorelai in the lobby]
SOOKIE: Okay, I just got a message that a vegetarian menu was requested for tonight.
LORELAI: Yeah, Lasanos, party of five at eight oclock.
SOOKIE: I thought you said you werent gonna let vegetarians in here anymore.
LORELAI: No, you said you werent gonna let vegetarians in here anymore.
SOOKIE: But Im making my baked stuffed pork chops for tonight.
LORELAI: Well, make em for the other guests and make something else for the Lasanos.
SOOKIE: Like what?
LORELAI: I dont know. Pasta, you make great pasta.
SOOKIE: But thats boring, anyone can make pasta. Im an artist. You dont dictate to an artist, you dont tell him what to do. I mean, no ever walked up to Degas and said, "Hey, pal, easy with the dancers, enough already. Draw a nice fruit bowl once in awhile, will ya?"
LORELAI: A great artist can make art out of anything, including pasta.
SOOKIE: Fine, pasta, whoo.
LORELAI: Is there coffee?
SOOKIE: Just made some.
SOOKIE: So todays your lunch with Emily.
SOOKIE: Any idea what shes gonna say?
LORELAI: No, but I bet its not, "Im joining the circus, feed your father until I get back." I should just cancel.
SOOKIE: You cant cancel, youre meeting her in an hour.
LORELAI: I know, but this goes against every rule I have in the Gilmore survival guide. Number one no running with scissors. Number two no pageboy haircuts. Number three never ever have lunch alone with a mother.
SOOKIE: It might not be so bad.
LORELAI: Saying yes to this lunch with my mother is like saying "Sounds fun!" to a ride with Clemenza.
[they walk into the kitchen]
SOOKIE: Think good thoughts, she could surprise you.
LORELAI: I guess.
SOOKIE: People change, you know. They do it every day. I mean, one minute you could be. . .oh, lets say a vegetarian, and the next minute you could accidentally have a bite of a stuffed pork chop that changes your entire way of thinking.
SOOKIE: Oh, suddenly lifes fun, suddenly theres a reason to get up in the morning its called bacon!
LORELAI: Forget it.
SOOKIE: Come on!
SOOKIE: Let the people grow, dammit!
CUT TO CHILTON HALLWAY
[Rory is walking down the hallway when someone pulls her into the bathroom. Francie and two of her friends are in there.]
FRANCIE: Rory, hi, nice of you to join us.
RORY: Francie, what
FRANCIE: No, I talk, okay? Great. Now lets discuss Paris.
RORY: What about her?
FRANCIE: She seems to have the very strange idea that shes actually in charge around here, and I thought itd be good if I let you in on a little secret. . .shes not.
RORY: Why dont you tell her this yourself?
FRANCIE: Because talking to Paris is like shopping for a bathing suit in December frustrating, fruitless, and a complete waste of time. Now, you, you might be the wallflower, but youre obviously the Meyer Lansky behind this organization.
RORY: I am not the Meyer Lansky.
FRANCIE: Whats that noise? What is that noise? Oh wait, its me, still talking. Didnt you hear it? Obviously not. Anyhow, Paris is student body president big fat deal. There are three other class presidents the junior class president, the sophomore class president, and oh, yes, the senior class president me.
RORY: I know all this.
FRANCIE: Well, then, its off the short bus for you, isnt it? Now if Paris thinks shes gonna march around dictating mandates and ignoring what I have to say, then shes in for a major bikini wax.
RORY: Thanks for the visual.
FRANCIE: Without me, shes nothing. Just another power mad, insecure, friendless, dateless, highlight-less loser wandering around trying to make someone care that they exist at all, which, by the way, no one does. I control the senior class. I am also the leader of the Puffs, the most exclusive society on this campus, and I have the power to make her life a living hell.
RORY: Francie, shes just
FRANCIE: I can make sure she does nothing this year but lead the student body in whatever version of the Pledge of Allegiance happens to be constitutional at the time.
RORY: What do you want me to do about it?
FRANCIE: I want you to go back to Margaret Thatcher and tell her to play ball. Shes gonna support the hemline issue, and any other issue that I bring up for the rest of the year. Otherwise Ill make her so ineffectual, shell make Jimmy Carter look like Martin Sheen do you get me?
RORY: Were supposed to be representing the interests of the student body. We are not supposed to be brokering backdoor deals and pushing through agendas with intimidation and bribery. I mean, what are we, French skating judges?
FRANCIE: Wise up, Goldilocks.
RORY: My hairs brown.
FRANCIE: This is politics. If youve got a problem, tell it to Noam Chomsky. I live in the real world, now blow. Oh, and I would keep this conversation between you and me. Paris tends to get a little paranoid when theres other mammals at the watering hole, so her finding out that you were conferring with me might not make your vice presidency any easier.
RORY: I am not conferring with you. A hand came out of the bathroom and pulled me in.
FRANCIE: What are you talking about? You sought me out because you thought Paris was a little out of line today and you wanted to make sure my very delicate feelings werent hurt. You are so sweet to think of me. I feel much better now that I have you on my side. Bye now, see you at the hemster.
CUT TO LUKES DINER
[Lorelai walks through the door and looks around for Emily]
LUKE: What the hell are you doing here?
LORELAI: Ah, I came for the warmth.
LUKE: Well, youre just not usually here this time of day, thats all.
LORELAI: Well, Im meeting someone for lunch.
LUKE: Oh, Kirk?
LUKE: Youre meeting Kirk?
LORELAI: Why would you say that?
LUKE: Well, I know he asked you out so I just assumed.
LORELAI: How do you know he asked me out?
LUKE: He told me.
LORELAI: He told you?
LORELAI: Oh my God.
LUKE: Hey, relax, I think its great.
LORELAI: Why, why would he tell you?
LUKE: Well, actually, he came to me for a little advice.
LORELAI: About what?
LUKE: About whether or not I thought he had a shot with you. After all, I know ya, Ive been to your house, I know whether or not you have stain resistant rugs.
[Lorelai sits down at a table]
LORELAI: Im lying down now.
LUKE: When he found out you had wood floors, he seemed very pleased.
LORELAI: Oh, Luke.
LUKE: I told him you like movies and junk food, and of course, talking incessantly, but we both agreed that theres nothing like some good lovin to shut a person up, if you know what I mean.
LORELAI: Im sorry, can you bring me a sharper fork? Im not sure this one will go all the way through your hand.
LUKE: Okay, now, I know its new so you probably dont wanna jinx it, so I wont talk about it anymore. But I have to tell you, seeing that guys face when he was talking about you. . .he almost had an expression.
LORELAI: Far, far away from me.
LUKE: [sings] Love is in the air.
[Lorelai throws a spoon at him as he walks away]
[Emily walks into the diner]
EMILY: Why are you throwing cutlery in a public place?
LORELAI: Uh, cause I feel stupid doing it at home?
EMILY: Im sorry Im late, there was a little traffic on the way. Perhaps had I been on time, there would still be the possibility of soup.
LORELAI: I havent been here that long. See, I still have a knife.
EMILY: Im glad to hear it.
LORELAI: So, you gonna sit?
EMILY: Oh, yes, of course. [wipes off the seat, then sits down] There we go. Well, this is nice. You certainly can see the whole town from here, cant you?
LORELAI: Yes, you can.
EMILY: I can see why you come here so much. It must be fun to just sit and people-watch. Well, lets see what theyve got, shall we? [opens menu] Oh, Caesar salad is that good here?
LORELAI: Uh, Im sure it is.
EMILY: Youve never had it?
EMILY: Has Rory?
EMILY: Oh. Well, Caesar salads can be extremely unsafe if they use bad eggs.
LORELAI: Get something else.
EMILY: Of course, if theyre coddled, it would be fine. Do you know if they coddle the eggs here?
LORELAI: I have no idea.
EMILY: You dont know? You come here every day.
LORELAI: Why dont you ask Luke if theyre coddled?
EMILY: Oh, hell just say they are. Ill have a Cobb salad. What are you going to have?
LORELAI: A Caesar salad with extra uncoddled eggs on the side.
EMILY: Really, Lorelai, would a serious answer once in awhile kill you?
LORELAI: Sorry, Mom. Uh, honestly, Im a little confused.
EMILY: About what?
LORELAI: About this.
EMILY: Whats confusing? Were having lunch.
LORELAI: I know were having lunch, but we dont usually have lunch, especially not in my town at Lukes Diner.
EMILY: I just figured you had to work, itd be easier on you this way.
LORELAI: Okay, thats fine, if I
[Luke walks up to the table]
LUKE: You two ready to order?
EMILY: Yes. How is your Caesar salad dressing prepared?
LUKE: Ill have to call Paul Newman and ask him.
EMILY: A Cobb salad and an iced tea.
LORELAI: Cheeseburger, fries, onion rings and a cherry coke.
LUKE: Any pie today?
LORELAI: Hm, no thanks.
LUKE: Cutting back a little, huh? Trying to look good for the big day. Smart, very smart.
LORELAI: Make sure you check that frying oil with your face.
[Luke walks away]
EMILY: What was that all about?
LORELAI: Ah, nothing, just a little small town charm. Now, please, Mom, tell me why did you ask me to lunch?
EMILY: Because I wanted to spend some time alone with my daughter.
EMILY: Well, Rory drops by after school every now and then, so we see her alone.
EMILY: But we never see you alone. . .unless Rory leaves the room for a second, and even then you try to go with her. If I had a nickel for every time youve used the Girls always go to the bathroom together, Mom line, Id be a very rich woman.
LORELAI: You are a very rich woman. Mom, please, is this really a me and you lunch? No hidden agenda?
EMILY: Of course not.
LORELAI: Okay, fine.
EMILY: I talked to Christopher.
EMILY: I called him last week, we talked for a very long time, and I have to tell you, he is not in love with that woman.
LORELAI: Oh my God.
EMILY: He never came out and said it, but I could tell from his voice. He would much rather be with you and Rory.
LORELAI: Are you out of your mind?
EMILY: I think you need to talk to him.
LORELAI: And that would be a yes.
EMILY: All he needs is to hear that you want this, too.
LORELAI: Mom, what the hell are you doing calling Christopher?
EMILY: Well, somebody had to.
LORELAI: No, somebody didnt have to!
EMILY: Oh, I certainly wasnt going to just sit by and watch this situation explode. You two belong together. It took you years to figure that out, and now that you finally have it, you cant let it go away just because of a little complication.
LORELAI: Mom, his girlfriend is pregnant that is more than a little complication.
EMILY: Women have gotten pregnant since the beginning of time, Lorelai.
LORELAI: And before I result to the totally called for duh, please tell me what your point it.
EMILY: This woman is trying to trap him. Dont you see that? You cant let that happen.
LORELAI: Mom, this is none of your business.
EMILY: Yes, it is! It affects Rory, it affects you both of whom are my business.
LORELAI: Do not get involved in this, I mean it. Butt out! Dont call Christopher and talk about me or us, just stay out of it!
EMILY: Where are you going?
LORELAI: I have to get back to the inn.
EMILY: Do not walk out on me.
LORELAI: Mom, I am not gonna discuss this with you now or ever. I would love for you to respect that but I know you, so give Christopher my love.
EMILY: A family life doesnt just happen, Lorelai. You have to work for it. You have to fight for it. Lorelai, come back here!
[Lorelai walks out]
CUT TO CHILTON
[Several students are gathered at a table for a meeting]
PARIS: So as soon as she gets out of intensive care, well get her signature, and then we can finally set about hiring a new librarian. Anything else?
LOUISE: Yes. Uh, I was thinking that maybe this year we should throw a little beginning of the school year dance. I mean, why wait until the tan fades to have a formal?
PARIS: Dances are distracting.
LOUISE: Dances help bring in money to pay for those stupid topiaries you want in the quad.
PARIS: Draft a proposal and have it on my desk by tomorrow. Madeline?
MADELINE: I would like to explore the option of having a professional photographer take the senior class photos. Every year we use that cheesy picture place, and every year people wind up with those VH1 Before They Were Stars pictures, and I for one would like to stop the humiliation now.
PARIS: How are we going to get a professional photographer?
LOUISE: Helmett Newton is my godfather.
PARIS: Okay, sign him up and tell him to leave the whips and chains at home. All right, I think thats all we have time for today.
FRANCIE: Um, excuse me, Paris? I was just wondering if you had time to think about my proposal?
PARIS: What proposal?
FRANCIE: You know, the higher hemlines.
PARIS: Oh right. No, not yet.
FRANCIE: Okay, I guess I can wait. . . for awhile.
PARIS: Patience is a virtue.
[The meeting ends and the students disperse from the table. Rory turns to talk to Paris.]
PARIS: What do you think about Helmett Newton being Louises godfather? Explains a lot, doesnt it?
RORY: Yeah. Listen, I think it might be a good idea to consider getting behind this hemline issue.
PARIS: Youre kidding, right?
RORY: No. I mean, if girls want the option of making their skirts a little shorter, then who cares, right?
PARIS: I care. Im building a legacy here, Rory. You want the first stand I make against the faculty to involve a fashion choice? It would be my gays in the military.
RORY: I just think it would be really smart to establish some goodwill among the other class presidents.
RORY: Because you have to work with them, and you might even need their support on something in the future. And throwing them a tiny bone like a hemline amendment is no big deal.
PARIS: I dont know.
RORY: Look, its right at the beginning of your term. No one will even remember the first stupid thing that you passed. You have plenty of time to establish your legacy. I mean it. By the time that you implement public executions for line cutters, hemlines will be a thing of the past. [pause] I was making a joke not a suggestion.
PARIS: Why do you care?
PARIS: Why do you care? You seem very invested in this whole thing why?
RORY: Hey, Im not invested in this thing. If you dont wanna do it, fine. Im just giving you my opinion. I just thought you might wanna be one of those presidents thats beloved as well as respected.
PARIS: Raising hemlines would make me beloved?
RORY: Its certainly a step in that direction.
PARIS: All right, Ill push it through.
PARIS: But the next genius who comes up with the brilliant plan to put Elizabeth Arden in the chemistry class can bite my ass.
CUT TO LORELAIS HOUSE
[Rory walks into the living room as Lorelai walks down the steps]
LORELAI: Ugh, Im not going.
RORY: You are going.
LORELAI: She has done this to me for the last time. From now on, Im not giving her any information about my life at all.
RORY: As opposed to all the details youve heaped upon her in the past.
LORELAI: I cant believe she called Christopher. She has no respect for me or my feelings or my privacy.
RORY: Well, she didnt think of it that way. She thought that she was helping.
LORELAI: You do know there isnt a Santa Claus, dont you?
RORY: Please just try to forget this.
LORELAI: Im never ever going over there again.
RORY: Not an option.
LORELAI: It should be. Sometimes you have to cut people out of your life.
RORY: Shes your mother.
LORELAI: I want proof, I want tests done.
RORY: Do you want your red purse or your blue?
LORELAI: Blue. Gee, I wonder who else shes calling. Shes probably on the phone to Kirk right now. "I heard through my spies youre taking my daughter out to dinner. Lets talk China patterns." God, Im furious! [phone rings] Dont get that, it might be her.
RORY: Well, I doubt shed call when were supposed to be over in half an hour.
KIRK: [on answering machine] Hello? Hello? [hangs up]
LORELAI: The answering machine confused him.
LORELAI: And thats the guy who likes me.
RORY: Id consider adoption if I were you.
LORELAI: My life stinks. Hey, lets look into each others eyes and say "I wish I were you" at exactly the same time maybe well pull a Freaky Friday!
RORY: Or we can just pretend that we did and you can go around acting really immature. Oh wait. . .
LORELAI: I cant believe you wont switch bodies with me.
RORY: Forget it. Then Id have to date Kirk.
LORELAI: I would switch bodies with you in a heartbeat if you wanted.
[phone rings again]
RORY: I know, and I appreciate that.
KIRK: [on answering machine] Lorelai, hi. I just called, I think there might be a problem with your phone.
LORELAI: Oh my God.
KIRK: [on machine] I was just wondering if I could ask you. . .
LORELAI: Lets go.
KIRK: [on machine] . . .a couple of quick questions
KIRKS MOM: [on machine] Hello?
KIRK: [on machine] Mom?
KIRKS MOM: [on machine] Who is this?
KIRK: [on machine] Mom, would you please get off the phone? Mom?
KIRKS MOM: [on machine] Is this Dr. Marshall?
KIRK: [on machine] Mom, its an important phone call, please hang up. I I I Ill call you back.
CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[The doorbell rings several times]
EMILY: [walking toward door] Oh, for heavens sake. [answers door]
LORELAI: Hey, I dont think your doorbells working.
EMILY: Believe me, its not the doorbell.
MAID: [walks up behind them] Oh, so it was the door.
EMILY: Yes, Sarah, once again, it was the door.
SARAH: Okay, so I just have to remember that the really big bell is the door and the small one is the oven.
EMILY: Yes, that would be a wonderful thing to remember.
[Sarah walks away]
EMILY: Okay, well, lets have a drink, shall we?
[they walk to the living room]
RORY: So, Grandma, you have a new maid?
EMILY: Yes, I do.
LORELAI: Well, good thing were in time for happy hour.
EMILY: Wine, Lorelai?
LORELAI: Uh, yeah, if theres any left.
EMILY: Rory soda or water?
RORY: Uh, soda please.
EMILY: How about water?
RORY: Waters fine, too.
LORELAI: Whats up, Mom?
LORELAI: You seem tense.
EMILY: You always think I seem tense.
LORELAI: But tonight you seem tenser than usual.
EMILY: Well, Im not! Rory, tell me about school
RORY: Oh, okay, um. . .schools good.
EMILY: Do you like student government?
RORY: I think so.
EMILY: And your grades are still good?
EMILY: Do you take any sort of physical education?
RORY: Not this semester.
EMILY: But eventually you will take some sort of physical education?
RORY: Im not sure.
LORELAI: But trust me the minute she decides to run after a ball and take a public shower with thirty other girls, you are getting a call.
EMILY: Well, thank you.
SARAH: [enters room] Dinners ready!
EMILY: Sarah, one minute please.
EMILY: I told you we eat dinner at seven. . .and right now, its six-thirty. Therefore, one could conclude that maybe its just a tad early for dinner.
SARAH: Oh, Im sorry, I -
EMILY: We want to eat at seven!
SARAH: But the foods ready now.
EMILY: Okay, never mind, well eat. Were eating. Up, up, lets go. [they walk toward the dining room] Its fine. Its better then we can all be in bed by nine. Sit down.
LORELAI: Mom, tell us what is up right now.
EMILY: What is up with what?
LORELAI: With you, with her, with you and her.
EMILY: Well, shes new, Lorelai. Shes only been here three days, shes still getting the hang of things. I think its only fair to give the woman a chance. Why are you staring at me?
LORELAI: Mom, youve had maids deported who were better than her.
EMILY: I have not.
EMILY: Your father made a crack the other day about my not being able to keep a maid.
EMILY: Of course, its a gross exaggeration. Yes, Ive had maids I havent liked, but Ive also had maids Ive loved.
LORELAI: Name one.
EMILY: You remember, she took you shopping once.
LORELAI: How old was I?
EMILY: I dont know.
EMILY: Four, five.
LORELAI: Mom, you havent liked a maid since I was four or five?
EMILY: I have liked a maid; you asked me whom I loved. I loved Daiha.
LORELAI: And whatever happened to Daiha?
EMILY: Oh, how should I know? But I loved her.
[the maid enters with some plates]
SARAH: Okay, so salad?
EMILY: Thank you, Sarah.
SARAH: Oops, big bell. [goes to answer it and takes the salad plates with her]
EMILY: Sarah, the salad! Sarah! Pass the wine, Lorelai.
LORELAI: You want a straw with that?
EMILY: Youre enjoying this?
LORELAI: Well. . .yeah.
[Christopher walks in]
CHRISTOPHER: Lor, I need to talk to you.
LORELAI: Chris, what are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: You wont return my calls!
LORELAI: Did you do this?
CHRISTOPHER: I knew youd be here.
EMILY: I did not do this.
CHRISTOPHER: You gave me no choice.
LORELAI: After I told you to just stay out of it!
EMILY: Lorelai, I did not do this!
LORELAI: You have to go.
CHRISTOPHER: Im not going until you talk to me.
[Lorelai and Christopher walk down the hallway]
EMILY: Christopher, Lorelai, come back here!
[cut to hallway]
CHRISTOPHER: Why wont you call me back?
LORELAI: Hey, there couldnt be a worst time to have this conversation.
CHRISTOPHER: Really, because it seems to be the only time to have this conversation.
LORELAI: Look, go home, okay? I promise I will talk to you tomorrow.
CHRISTOPHER: Well, sure, I believe that.
LORELAI: Hey, Ive never lied to you. Theres no reason to doubt my word.
CHRISTOPHER: Really? Forty-five unreturned phone calls isnt a reason?
LORELAI: No, it isnt.
CHRISTOPHER: You shutting me out like this is wrong.
LORELAI: Im not discussing this with you here in my mothers house.
CHRISTOPHER: You dont get to dictate this. I need to talk to you, you wont call me back, and I did what I had to do. And Im sorry but after all weve been through, especially over these last few months you shutting me out is wrong. And you know what hits me the hardest, Lor?
LORELAI: Apparently it isnt the door on your way out.
CHRISTOPHER: You keeping Rory from me.
CHRISTOPHER: I never, ever thought youd do that.
LORELAI: Im not keeping Rory from you.
CHRISTOPHER: Oh really? Then why hasnt she called me back, huh? I mean, no matter where you and I have been in our lives, my daughter has always called me back until now.
LORELAI: Hey, listen to me
[Rory walks up to them]
RORY: I didnt call you back because I didnt want to. Me Mom had nothing to do with it.
LORELAI: Okay, honey, calm down.
RORY: You promised me. You promised me at Sookies wedding that this was going to work, that you were going to be there, you promised me.
CHRISTOPHER: Honey, please understand
RORY: No, I always understand, and I dont wanna understand! I dont even really wanna talk about this right now. Ive got Mom, thats all I need. Go be somebody elses dad!
CHRISTOPHER: Dont say that.
RORY: Im going upstairs. Call me when hes gone. [goes upstairs]
CHRISTOPHER: She did not get there by herself.
LORELAI: Hey, have you ever met your daughter? She could get anywhere by herself! She could get to the third dimension by herself! She was helping the crossing guard when she was four.
CHRISTOPHER: Im going to talk to her.
LORELAI: No, youre not. She wants to be alone and cool off. Respect that. Ill talk to her later.
CHRISTOPHER: Youll talk to her, great. That makes me feel a whole lot better.
LORELAI: Okay, you need to leave, right now.
CHRISTOPHER: This isnt right. She needs her father.
LORELAI: I know she needs her father, Ive been telling her she needs her father! But she feels like her father bailed on her and shes mad and hurt, and I cant change that in three minutes!
CHRISTOPHER: Do you think I like this situation?
LORELAI: Oh God.
CHRISTOPHER: Do you? I mean, after what you and I had going and now
LORELAI: Chris, do you remember why were here right now? What event in your life caused this very pleasant moment were sharing?
CHRISTOPHER: That has nothing to do with this.
LORELAI: Oh it what? Chris, man! What do you want from me?
CHRISTOPHER: I wanna talk!
LORELAI: About what?
CHRISTOPHER: I dont know. I just. . . I dont like how things are.
LORELAI: But thats how they are!
CHRISTOPHER: I didnt want things to turn out this way!
LORELAI: But they did turn out this way!
CHRISTOPHER: But I didnt want that!
LORELAI: Christopher, is Sherry still pregnant?
CHRISTOPHER: Of course she is.
LORELAI: Are you still with her?
LORELAI: Are you gonna marry her?
LORELAI: Then, honey, we are where we are! Accept it.
CHRISTOPHER: I cant.
LORELAI: Dont you understand that I cant talk to you because it hurts talking to you, really hurts! Standing here right now is killing me, okay? Dont you understand that?
EMILY: Christopher, I think youd better go now.
CHRISTOPHER: Emily, I . . .
EMILY: Leave now, please.
LORELAI: You know, you need a mask and a horse when you do that.
EMILY: Somethings burning.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Christopher is sitting on his motorcycle as Lorelai walks out of the house]
LORELAI: Chris? Give it time.
[Christopher nods and drives away]
CUT TO STARS HOLLOW
[Rory and Lorelai walk down the sidewalk]
LORELAI: Well, now, that was a fun night.
LORELAI: I havent had that much fun since labor.
LORELAI: But seriously, ladies and gentlemen, is this on?
RORY: I cant believe he just came over.
LORELAI: He misses you.
RORY: He misses you.
LORELAI: Were very missable. Honey, he loves you so much, he didnt mean to mess
RORY: No, he never means to, but he does. And I dont care what he says or does, Im not going to this wedding.
LORELAI: You dont have to.
LORELAI: But you might, at a later point in your life, when youre not so angry and you make up with your dad, as we both know you will, you might be sorry you missed it.
RORY: Its the wrong wedding.
LORELAI: Ah, things happen for a reason.
RORY: Since when is that your philosophy.
LORELAI: Since now. By the way, Im also a communist.
LORELAI: Yes, cause I look damn good in red.
RORY: Im starving.
LORELAI: Really? Could it be cause dinner sucked?
RORY: Could be.
LORELAI: Lets do mac and cheese.
RORY: And tater tots
LORELAI: And those little pizza rolls.
RORY: Oh, and chili beef soup.
LORELAI: After which we will install our own vomitorium.
RORY: Okay, nix the soup.
LORELAI: And add some cake. Okay, lets be organized make it fast, make it snappy, and if theres any impulse buying, make it chocolate.
RORY: Aye aye, captain.
KIRK: [calls from down the street] Lorelai!
LORELAI: Oh no. Go on in.
RORY: Are you sure?
LORELAI: I have to take care of this.
RORY: Good luck.
[Rory goes into the market as Kirk walks up to Lorelai]
LORELAI: Hey Kirk.
KIRK: Lorelai, I know you havent made up your mind yet, and Im not here for an answer. I just need to know are you allergic to tuna?
LORELAI: Uh, no.
KIRK: No, good. Thank you very much.
LORELAI: Uh, Kirk, I have made up my mind.
KIRK: You have?
KIRK: And its fully formed?
LORELAI: Yes, it is.
KIRK: You dont need any other information?
LORELAI: No, I dont.
KIRK: Cause I could have my mother call you if
LORELAI: Totally unnecessary.
KIRK: Okay, well, then, go ahead.
LORELAI: I just got out of a really weird relationship, and I know that sounds like a line, but it isnt. Im just not. . .fully over the shock of it yet, and I never wanna hurt you because youre my friend and I like you, so I have to say no. Im sorry.
KIRK: Was the tuna inquiry too personal?
LORELAI: Oh, no, I thought it was very thoughtful
KIRK: Youre sure you wont feel like it anytime soon?
LORELAI: Yeah, Im sure.
KIRK: Well, at least I asked. Goodnight Lorelai.
CUT TO INSIDE DOOSES MARKET
[Rory walks into an aisle and sees Jess]
JESS: Doing a little shopping?
RORY: Yes. Excuse me.
JESS: Why the cold shoulder?
RORY: No cold shoulder. I just have perishables here.
JESS: Oh yeah, you wanna get home before that beefaroni goes bad.
RORY: My moms waiting for me.
JESS: How was Washington?
JESS: Do anything interesting?
RORY: What about you?
JESS: What about me?
RORY: Anything interesting happen? This summer, I mean.
RORY: So nothing happened this summer, at all?
JESS: It was hot. Two weeks ago there was a run on snowcones. Machine broke, people went crazy, Taylor tried to call in the National Guard, but
RORY: Im not talking about snowcones.
JESS: What are you talking about then?
JESS: Her names Shane.
RORY: As in come back?
RORY: Well, great. Thats great. Really, its great.
JESS: So Ive heard.
RORY: Well, it is.
JESS: Are you upset about something?
JESS: I mean, me and Shane
RORY: What about you and Shane?
JESS: I dont know, it didnt exactly bring a smile to your face.
RORY: Well, Im still freaked out about the, uh, snowcone machine.
RORY: I could care less about you and Shane.
RORY: It just surprised me, thats all.
JESS: Because why?
RORY: Because of what happened at Sookies wedding.
RORY: Yeah, so me coming back here and just seeing you with Shane just kind of threw me for a sec.
JESS: I'm sorry, did I hear from you at all this summer? Did I just happen to miss the thousands of phone calls you made to me, or did the postman happen to lose all those letters you wrote to me? You kiss me, you tell me not to say anything. . .very flattering, by the way. You go off to Washington. . . then nothing. Then you come back here all put out because I didn't just sit around and wait for you like Dean would've done? And yeah, what about Dean? Are you still with him? 'Cause last time I checked, you were, and I haven't heard anything to the contrary. Plus, the two of you walking around the other day like some damn Andy Hardy movie. Seemed to me like youre still pretty together. I half expected you to break into a barn and put on a show.
RORY: When did you see me with Dean?
JESS: At that stupid summer insanity plea the town put on.
RORY: Oh, Im surprised you could see anything with Shanes head plastered to your face.
JESS: You didnt answer me.
RORY: About what?
JESS: Did you call me at all?
JESS: Did you send me a letter?
JESS: Smoke signal?
JESS: A nice fruit basket?
JESS: Are you still with Dean? Come on, Rory, yes or no are you still with Dean?
RORY: Yes, Im still with Dean, yes!
JESS: Glad to hear it.
RORY: Glad to tell you.
JESS: See you around.
JESS: Right back at ya.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Rory walks out of the market with a bag of groceries]
LORELAI: Hey, I was just gonna come in after you. You all done?
RORY: Oh yeah, Im done.