written by Amy Sherman-Palladino
directed by Nick Marck
transcript by Vanessa
[Lorelai and Rory hugging]
LORELAI: Tell me what happened.
RORY: We broke up, we just broke up.
LORELAI: But I dont understand.
RORY: We - we went to dinner and then we walked by the bonfire but it wasnt lit so we went to this junkyard and we sat in this car and then - oh God!
RORY: I forgot your meatball in the car.
LORELAI: Oh honey, forget it.
RORY: Oh I cant believe I left your meatball in the car.
LORELAI: Ok, ok, come on [as they sit on the couch]
RORY: After I told the waiter to wrap it up and everything. And everyone was like what do you want with one meatball? And I was like Its a mother/daughter thing. And Im sure he thought I was nuts but he was so nice and he did it anyway and he uh, he brought one of those tin foil swans or duck or some kind of bird and - and then I left it in the car.
LORELAI: Ok, forget about the meatball ok? Just tell me what happened.
RORY: He just broke up with me ok?
LORELAI: That doesnt make sense. This is Dean were talking about. Hes crazy about you. He calls like 25 times a day. Have you seen the cover of his notebook? Its one step away from stalker material.
RORY: I have to go to bed. [gets up and heads for her room]
LORELAI: Well, wait. Take me through the night step by step.
LORELAI: So I can help decipher what happened here.
RORY: What happened here is we broke up. He didnt want to be my boyfriend anymore, end of story.
LORELAI: That is so not end of story.
RORY: Yes it is.
LORELAI: Honey, he did not plan an entire romantic evening complete with dinner and a junkyard, which well get back to later, and then suddenly decide to dump you for no reason.
RORY: How do you know? [as she pulls out a box from her closet.]
LORELAI: Because I have read every Nancy Drew mystery ever written. The one about the Amish country, twice. I know theres more to the story than what youre telling me. What are you doing?
RORY: Im getting rid of all this stuff.
LORELAI: What stuff?
RORY: Everything he gave me, everything he touched, everything he looked at.
LORELAI: Honey, will you just calm down for just one second.
RORY: He doesnt want to be my boyfriend - fine.
LORELAI: Ok ,it will be fine but - [taking one of the shirts Rory was about to put in the box]
LORELAI: Is there someone else?
LORELAI: Is he moving?
LORELAI: Uh, is he dying? Did his football team lose a game?
RORY: What ?
LORELAI: Its happened. Did he, um, try something?
LORELAI: You know, did he wanna
LORELAI: Did he wanna go faster than you -
RORY: God no!
LORELAI: Ok, ok, Im sorry.
LORELAI: Youre just not giving me a lot to go off of here. Honey thats your fancy dress that I made for you.
RORY: That I wore to a dance that I went to with him.
LORELAI: Oh yeah. Sweaters brand-new.
RORY: Well he saw me in it yesterday and he liked it.
LORELAI: Well then hes got good taste.
RORY: He said it brought out the blue in my eyes.
LORELAI: Well then hes gay.
RORY: Youre not funny and it goes.
LORELAI: Im a little funny and if you throw away everything Dean ever saw you wear youre gonna be walking around in a towel. Colonel Clucker? Are you serious? He has been with you since you were four.
RORY: The first time Dean came over, he picked it up.
LORELAI: Well thats the not the colonels fault. He was sitting there minding his own business and a guy comes in and picks him up, whats a stuffed bird to do?
RORY: I dont want to joke about this, not now.
RORY: Here. [giving her the box] I dont want to look at that anymore.
LORELAI: Ok, Ill, um, Ill put it away.
RORY: No, take it out of the house. Throw it in a dumpster, burn it, I dont care. Just - I want it gone.
LORELAI: You know honey, some day, when all of this is in the past, you may be sorry that you dont have some of those things anymore.
RORY: I dont care.
LORELAI: But Rory -
RORY: I dont care!
LORELAI: Ok. Fine. Its gone.
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: So Ill take care of this and you go to bed and get some rest. Maybe youll fell more like talking in the morning.
LORELAI: Honey, good night.
RORY: Far, far away from the house ok?
LORELAI: Hey, it sleeps with the fishes.
RORY: Thank you. [Lorelai puts the box in a closet instead and covers it with a blanket.]
[Pan to morning. Lorelais bedroom]
RORY: Mom get up.
LORELAI: Rory whats the matter?
RORY: Nothing, I just want to get started. I made a list of all the things we say were going to do on the weekend but then when the weekend comes around you say theyre too boring to actually do one a weekend day, so then you say well do them during the week, which of course we never do. So I think that we should get them all out of the way today once and for all. And to make it interesting, we should come up with like a reward system so once were done with everything on the list we could go get manicures or we could go to the Swiss place for fondue for dinner or we could stuff our purses full of sour patch kids and milk duds and go see the Stars Hollow elementary school production of Whos afraid of Virginia Woolfe.
LORELAI: Its 6:00.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: On Saturday morning.
RORY: Thats right.
LORELAI: Its 6:00 on Saturday morning!
RORY: Do you want to wear docks or sneakers?
LORELAI: I want to wear slippers.
RORY: Up please.
LORELAI: Rory, my heart. It is Saturday, the day of rest.
RORY: Sundays the day of rest.
LORELAI: No, Saturday is the day of pre-rest.
LORELAI: Yeah, so that way when you actually get to Sunday youre rested enough to enjoy your rest.
RORY: That makes absolutely no sense.
LORELAI: Thats because its 6:00 on Saturday morning. [Rory uncovers her] Oh jeez!
RORY: Up please!
LORELAI: You make a rhyme.
RORY: Ill see you downstairs.
[Pan to Lorelai coming down the stairs. She turns to go into the kitchen and stops, turns back to look at the living room only to find all the furniture moved around. Heads into the kitchen]
LORELAI: Hello. Did you rearrange the furniture?
LORELAI: Good, cause for a minute there I thought we were having a problem with decorator elves and I was gonna have to call an exterminator and tent the place but it was just you. Great. Good. So now was there any reason that you just suddenly felt the need to move around large pieces of furniture first thing in the morning?
RORY: I was up, it was there.
LORELAI: Ok good thought process. Great. Now I noticed you didnt move the tv though.
RORY: It was too heavy.
LORELAI: Right, ok. Well I like this, yeah, this is good. Now of course when the sofa actually faced the tv it made it a little easier to watch but you know this is good too. Itll be like um, you know like radio.
RORY: Are you ready to go?
LORELAI: Yes I am, just uh, just one quick sec. Um, why dont you - could you put the pen down?
RORY: Just finishing the list.
LORELAI: Yes I see and as much as I love your list, lets just finish this particular one in a little while ok?
LORELAI: Rory, Im concerned about you. I wish you would talk to me.
RORY: I dont want to deal with it right now. I cant deal with it right now.
LORELAI: Fair enough. But listen, Ive had my heart broken before. Its really hard. Its hard for everyone, so can I give you a little advice.
LORELAI: I think what you really need to do today is wallow.
LORELAI: Oh yeah, get back in your pajamas, go to bed, eat nothing but gallons of ice cream and tons of pizza, dont take a shower or shave your legs or put on any kind of make up at all and just sit in the dark and watch a really sad movie and have a good long cry and just wallow. You need to wallow.
LORELAI: Rory, your first love is intense and your first break up even more intense. Shoving it away and ignoring it while you make lists its not gonna help.
RORY: I dont want to wallow.
LORELAI: Try it for one day.
LORELAI: One day, one day of pizza and pajamas. Ill rent Love Story and The Champ, An Affair to Remember, Ishtar.
RORY: I dont want to be that kind of girl.
LORELAI: the kind of girl that watches Ishtar?
RORY: The kind of girl who just falls apart because she doesnt have a boyfriend.
LORELAI: That description hardly applies to you.
RORY: It will if I wallow.
LORELAI: Not true.
RORY: So I used to have a boyfriend and now I dont. Ok, thats just the way it is. I mean sitting in the dark eating junk food and not shaving my legs isnt gonna change that, is it?
RORY: Ok, so I dont even want to go there. I have things to do, I have school and Harvard to think about.
LORELAI: Honey, Harvard is like three years away.
RORY: But now is the time to be preparing for it. I mean Harvard is hard to get into and I dont know why I even spend my time thinking about anything else.
LORELAI: Because you have a pulse and you are not the president of the audio visual club.
RORY: Im 16, I have the rest of my life to have a boyfriend. I should be keeping my eye on the prize right now.
LORELAI: I admire your attitude.
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: So should we rent Old Yeller too or is that just a guys crying movie.
RORY: Youre not listening to me.
LORELAI: I am listening to you, I just - I dont agree with you.
RORY: I dont want to wallow, and you cant make me.
LORELAI: Ok. Fine.
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: So that must be the list.
RORY: Yes it is.
LORELAI: May I see it please? We do not need a garden hose.
RORY: We dont have one.
LORELAI: We dont have a garden either.
RORY: But maybe if we have a hose we can grow one.
LORELAI: Can I see the pen please?
LORELAI: Small adjustment, small adjustment. [writes something on the list and hands the list back to Rory]
LORELAI: What? Its on the list. Dont you have to do it if its on the list?!
RORY: Im not going to wallow [crossing it out]
LORELAI: But I put it after going to the recycling center.
CUT TO STREET
[Lorelai and Rory walking]
LORELAI: What are all these people doing up? Its Saturday morning.
RORY: Some people like getting up early.
LORELAI: You lie.
RORY: No they do it voluntarily.
LORELAI: Ha! Jumpback!
RORY: Excuse me?
LORELAI: Kevin Bacon, Footloose, reaction to the no dancing in town rule is revealed to him by Chris Penn, brother to Sean, sage to all.
RORY: I shoulda known.
LORELAI: Yes you should. I dont know what they teach you in that damn school. [Rory stops walking] What?
RORY: I cant go that way.
LORELAI: Why, were going to Lukes.
LORELAI: You pull me out of bed at 6:00 in the morning and then you say no to Lukes? Dont you know how dangerous that is?
RORY: I cant go that way.
LORELAI: Reason please?
RORY: Because wed have to go by Dooses market.
RORY: So we might run into -
LORELAI: Right. Um, you dont know if hes working?
RORY: I dont remember. His weekend schedule changes a lot.
LORELAI: Ok, well well just take the long way.
RORY: Wed have to go by the school.
LORELAI: But theres no school today.
RORY: But on his days off from work he plays football at the school with some of his friends.
LORELAI: Well what time?
RORY: It varies.
LORELAI: Ok, well well just go down Peach street, well circle around, youre shaking your head why?
RORY: He lives on Peach.
LORELAI: Rory, honey, love of my life, you realize youve completely cut us from Lukes where the happy coffee is.
RORY: Im sorry.
LORELAI: No, its ok, its ok. Ok, well just um, well, well figure something out.
CUT TO ALLEY
LORELAI: No, this is good. This is like G.I. Jane but we get to keep our hair.
RORY: I just couldnt.
LORELAI: Oh honey, say no more. Think of this as an adventure. Two girls battling the elements, desperate for survival.
RORY: Or coffee.
LORELAI: Same thing.
RORY: You know I bet you can tell a lot about people from their garbage.
RORY: Think about it, trash is discarded aspect of peoples lives.
RORY: It talks about their eating habits, what they read, do they go to concerts, are they responsible, do they pay bills on time?
LORELAI: Yeah, you do know honey, that garbage doesnt actually talk at all unless its on Sesame Street.
RORY: Im just trying to make a point.
LORELAI: That going through peoples garbage is interesting.
RORY: And educational.
LORELAI: And stinky and a little nuts.
RORY: Theres nothing nuts about wanting to know more about human nature. [picking up an article of clothing from a pile of garbage] Curiosity is how we grow.
LORELAI: Bah! [making her drop it and pulling her out of the alley] We have to get you out of this alley.
CUT TO LUKES
[Lorelai and Rory enter from the back.]
LORELAI: Who are all these people?
RORY: Its the 6:00 am crowd.
LORELAI: I officially recognize nobody in this place.
LORELAI: Oh hi.
RACHEL: Coffee while you wait?
LORELAI: Oh bless you. [she pours coffee] So Luke put you to work huh?
RACHEL: Yeah well I figured if Im going to be hanging around here for a while the least I could do is help out.
LORELAI: So youre gonna be hanging around for a while...here?
RACHEL: Yeah I think so.
LORELAI: Oh well thats nice.
RORY: So where is Luke?
RACHEL: Well we were kind of up late last night so I let him sleep in.
LORELAI: Sleep in? Luke?
RACHEL: Oh believe me it wasnt easy to get him to agree to it, but in the end, a little sweet talk, a couple of Excedrin PM he finally caved.
RORY: Hey theres a seat over there.
RACHEL: Oh go, go! Ill be over in a sec.
RORY: I feel like everyone is staring at me.
LORELAI: Well yeah, because youve got a banana peel stuck to your foot.
RORY: I do?
LORELAI: Im kidding. Nobodys staring at you.
RORY: They know.
LORELAI: They dont know.
RORY: Its probably all around town by now.
LORELAI: Honey it just happened last night, its like 6:00 in the morning.
RORY: Everyone knows that Ive been dumped.
LORELAI: Do you want to go home?
RORY: No, we have a list.
LORELAI: Ok great. Im gonna order us something. Any preference - eggs, french toast, key to the dumpster?
RORY: I dont care.
LORELAI: Ok, Ill be right back. [heads for the counter and runs into Miss Patty]
MISS PATTY: Lorelai, what a nice surprise so early in the morning. So hows things?
LORELAI: You know dont you?
MISS PATTY: Yes and I feel awful. I feel completely responsible.
LORELAI: Well you should. [smiling]
MISS PATTY: Well I got Dean that job and I certainly encouraged them, I felt they were so right together.
LORELAI: Miss Patty, please dont say anything to Rory about it, shes a little concerned about everybody finding out.
MISS PATTY: Oh of course, not a peep.
LORELAI: And spread the word ok?
MISS PATTY: Consider it done. Oh and Lorelai, would you give the angel a hug for me. I mean you dont have to say its from me, just give her a hug.
LORELAI: Got it.
MISS PATTY: Ok. [leaves. Lorelai head for the counter as Luke comes down the stairs]
LORELAI: Oh well, uh, good morning sleeping beauty.
LUKE: Yeah, well you know Rachel thought I looked a little tired.
LORELAI: No, its good. You need a little break.
LUKE: I guess.
LORELAI: You do. So she seems pretty comfortable here huh?
LUKE: Yeah well she always could just fit in places you know. Its a talent of hers.
LORELAI: She looks good in your apron.
LUKE: Yeah well, can I get you anything?
LORELAI: Oh, um, do you think you could make those really crazy chocolate chip pancakes and go extra heavy on the chocolate?
LUKE: Yeah sure, any special occasion?
LORELAI: [sighs] Dean broke up with Rory.
LORELAI: Keep it down, she doesnt want anybody to know about it.
LUKE: Oh I knew it, I just knew that kid was trouble.
LORELAI: Yes you did, you knew it. Pancakes please.
LUKE: Oh God, hes got a nerve. I mean what does he think hes gonna do better than Rory? Is he crazy? Jeez. Alright, well forget it ok. Good riddance, adios, bienvenidos, hasta la vista.
LORELAI: Could we get off the small world ride and start cooking please?
LUKE: How is she?
LORELAI: Shes been dumped by her first boyfriend.
LUKE: Oh man, I swear I would love to - ok, Im gonna put some whipped cream on the pancakes too.
LORELAI: Thank you Luke.
LORELAI: Not a word ok?
LUKE: I got it. [Lorelai turns around and sees Kirk talking to Rory]
KIRK: I never liked him. I dont know what it was, something about the shape of his forehead or his height or the floppy hair style. Actually yes, on reflection I think it was the floppy hair style.
LORELAI: Hey good morning Kirk.
KIRK: Lorelai, I want to express my apologies for not voicing my concerns about that floppy haired jerk earlier because if I had -
LORELAI: Oh you know what - you need to leave now.
KIRK: I cannot go until you accept my apology.
LORELAI: I accept your apology.
KIRK: It will not happen again. [Kirk leaves]
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: Honey are you sure you dont want to -
RORY: Dont say wallow.
LORELAI: Swallow your coffee before you eat?
RORY: I am fine.
LORELAI: But if you could see the look on your face.
RORY: Its the same look you had on your face when you broke up with Max. Did wallowing help you get over him?
LORELAI: Im not saying wallowing will help you get over Dean. Its part of the process. Its the mourning period. Its a step, an important step. The only thing that will get you over somebody is time.
RORY: How much time did it take you to get over Max?
LORELAI: Im not sure exactly.
LORELAI: I didnt clock it.
RORY: Ballpark figure?
LORELAI: A while.
RORY: Be vaguer.
LORELAI: Rory come on.
LUKE: More coffee? Pancakes are coming right up, anything else I can get you?
RORY: No thanks.
LUKE: Hey Ive got some strawberries back there, you like strawberries dont you?
RORY: Yeah I like strawberries but -
LUKE: Im getting you strawberries. [moves to the next table]
RORY: You told him didnt you?
LORELAI: No. Miss Patty did. [Luke sees Dean heading towards the diner and as he goes out to meet him, Rory and Lorelai keep talking.]
RORY: Well who told Miss Patty?
LORELAI: I dont know, numerous sources.
[Pan to outside diner]
LUKE: Stop right there.
LUKE: Where are you going?
DEAN: To get coffee.
DEAN: Excuse me?
LUKE: Youre not going in there buddy.
DEAN: What are you talking about?
LUKE: Turn around bag boy.
DEAN: Are you serious?
LUKE: Do you see a smile on my face?
DEAN: No but whats different about that?
LUKE: Whats that supposed to mean?
DEAN: Its just that youre not exactly known as the town crack up.
LUKE: So youre a smart guy now huh?
DEAN: What are you doing?
LUKE: Just exercising my right not to serve you.
DEAN: What are you talking about? Im not even inside yet. [tries to get away but they end up wrestling] Let go of me!
LUKE: You first.
[Pan to inside]
RORY: If you tell Miss Patty, everybody in town is gonna know.
LORELAI: Honey people have their own lives and their own problems. I hardly think you and Dean breaking up is the main thing on their minds. [sees Luke and Dean wrestling outside] Oh my God! Oh!
RORY: What? [sees them wrestling] Oh my God.
[Lorelai and Rory run outside]
LORELAI: Hey, hey, hey, cut it out! Break it up! [to Luke]You back off! Come here! What do you think youre doing?!
LUKE: He started it!
LORELAI: By doing what?
LUKE: He was coming in.
LORELAI: Are you a lunatic! Hes 16!
LUKE: Well what was I supposed to do?!
LORELAI: Well stand in the middle of the street and have a slap fight of course! Come here! [taking him inside]
RORY: [to Dean] Are you ok?
DEAN: Im fine.
RORY: Oh good, I dont know what go into Luke. Hes usually so -
DEAN: I have to go.
RORY: Oh sure, bye. [leaves as Luke follows him]
LORELAI: Get inside now. Inside - now!
LUKE: He started it. [goes inside.]
LORELAI: So wheres that list?
LORELAI: The list, weve got a lot to do Missy, otherwise Im gonna be dragging your butt outta bed at 6:00 again tomorrow morning. So, where do we start?
RORY: [pulling out list] Well we need a soap dish for the kitchen
LORELAI: Ah, a kitchen soap dish. Quite decadent but what the hell, lets go.
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
[Girls come in with bags]
RORY: Well that was a very successful outing for us.
LORELAI: Yes it was.
RORY: We got everything on the list except for the brown extension cord.
LORELAI: Which will be in on Tuesday.
RORY: So I think that that qualifies as a check too.
LORELAI: Are you happy?
RORY: I appreciate a job well done, yeah.
LORELAI: I cant wait to try the toaster pizza. It looks so gross which is usually the mark for a great junk food.
LORELAI: nough said.
RORY: Im gonna go plug in my new wall air freshener. Give me five minutes and then come sniff my room.
LORELAI: Cheese or pepperoni?
RORY: Whatever. [goes into her room and closes the door]
LORELAI: Both. Good choice. [Babette enters]
BABETTE: Hey Sugar, I just heard. Where is she? Poor little thing. Rory sweetie!!!
LORELAI: Come on. [pulling her outside]
BABETTE: What? Is she outside?
LORELAI: Uh, well yeah. [outside] Babette I appreciate you coming over like this bur Rorys not really in a talking mood just now.
BABETTE: But I can help.
LORELAI: I know you can.
BABETTE: I can tell her how you have to go through a lot of bad relationships to get to that really good one.
LORELAI: No, its very good advice.
BABETTE: Oh yeah and I can tell her about all the horrible men Ive known in my day.
LORELAI: Oh thatd be great.
BABETTE: Really truly awful men.
BABETTE: I was pushed out of a moving car once.
LORELAI: Now thats a peppy little anecdote. [In the house, Rory comes out of her room and overhears them.]
BABETTE: Let me tell her.
LORELAI: Oh I want you to tell her all that but just not now.
BABETTE: Is she really bad?
LORELAI: Shell be fine. Really.
[Rory goes back into her room and lies on the bed. Looks at her wrist where the bracelet that Dean made her used to be. She gets mad at herself for feeling that way and picks up her books to try and study. Madelines party invitation slips out from some papers. She picks it up and goes out into the kitchen]
LORELAI: [coming in] Oh they had some of our mail.
RORY: Look [handing her the invition]
LORELAI: Madelines having a party.
RORY: Im going to go.
LORELAI: Youre going to a Chilton party?
RORY: Yes I am.
LORELAI: Honey, why dont you just stay home and read The bell jar? Same effect.
RORY: Hey, Im going to be going to school there for the next two and a half years. It wouldnt kill me to be social right? Whats wrong with that?
RORY: Ok then its settled.
LORELAI: Um, can I make a suggestion?
RORY: Go ahead.
LORELAI: Why dont you see if Lane can come with you? You know that way if the socializing doesnt turn out how you planned you got a friendly face around.
RORY: Ok, good idea. Thank you.
LORELAI: Youre welcome.
RORY: Can I take the car?
RORY: Can I borrow something to wear?
RORY: Are you gonna give in to anything I say because you feel sorry for me?
RORY: Ill make a list.
[Pan to that night. Rory and Lane getting ready.]
RORY: Here, hand me that blush.
RORY: Am I all twisty back here?
LANE: Oh, a little. Here. [fixes dress] So how are you?
LANE: How are you really?
RORY: Life goes on right?
LANE: You know I saw Dean today. I wasnt sure if I should tell you.
RORY: Why not?
LANE: I mean I wasnt sure youd want to know.
RORY: No, thats fine. Whatd he say?
LANE: Nothing. He crossed the street as soon as I saw him.
LANE: But if its any consolation he looks really sad.
RORY: I dont want him to be sad.
LANE: Rory are you sure you want to go out tonight?
RORY: Why does everyone keep asking me that?
LANE: Because you just broke up. I mean Id be perfectly fine to just hang out here and listen to music and talk, not talk, whatever.
RORY: No, I am not hanging out. We are going to this party. Its gonna be great. I dont want to dwell on this. Thats final.
LORELAI: [entering room] Dont argue with her or youll find yourself the proud owner of three garden weasels.
LORELAI: Three cause ones just not enough. Here, turn around.
LORELAI: 14 hours of labor thats why. [clicks her tongue]
LORELAI: And hair. [puts a necklace on Rory]
RORY: What is this?
LORELAI: I thought it would go with your dress and it does.
RORY: Its pretty.
LORELAI: Yeah its really pretty. Here. Here is the phone and some mad money. If for any reason you think youre not going to be home by 12:00 you call me.
LANE: Oh well be back by 12:00
LORELAI: Hi, call me.
RORY: The cornstarch.
RORY: Um the cornstarch. The first time Dean kissed me he - I forgot to put it with the other things. Ill just throw it out.
LORELAI: Hey why dont you let me do that, you guys get going ok?
LORELAI: Ok, bye. Have fun. Ooh hey, look in somebodys sock drawer. Rich people have hilarious sock drawers. Be good. [Rory and Lane leave. Lorelai puts the cornstarch with the rest of the stuff and pulls down her Max box]
CUT TO SOOKIES
SOOKIE: Hi, Lorelai, hey.
LORELAI: I wanted to ask you - [Sookie runs back into the house]
SOOKIE: Uh-huh, sure whatever.
LORELAI: [left at the door] Sookie? Hello? Sookie
SOOKIE: Yeah. Hi, ah! How are you? [as she tries to look into the kitchen]
LORELAI: Good, Im fine, hows that xray vision coming?
SOOKIE: Jacksons inside.
LORELAI: Is he doing something dirty?
SOOKIE: Hes making me dinner.
LORELAI: Oh! Oh thats so nice.
SOOKIE: Yeah it is. It really is, its sweet. Im just - do you hear something?
LORELAI: Like what?
SOOKIE: Like someone using the wrong size pan to sweat the onions in. [knocks and chuckles]
LORELAI: No, nothing like that.
SOOKIE: Ok well maybe Im hearing things. So hi, how are you?
LORELAI: Fine. So I wanted to see -
SOOKIE: Could you peek inside the kitchen for me and tell me if the orange cruse is on the left burner.
LORELAI: Why dont you just go in there?
SOOKIE: Yeah well now I would but Jackson kicked me out.
LORELAI: He did.
SOOKIE: Yes and he wont let me back in there and its driving me crazy.
LORELAI: Well maybe he just wants you to relax, I wouldnt mind that either actually.
SOOKIE: Just take a peek for me will you? Tell him you want some water. And here. Take a picture for me.
LORELAI: Oh Sookie. I am not spying on Jackson.
SOOKIE: What if hes using the wrong spoon in the wrong sauce?
LORELAI: Then the world as we know it will end.
SOOKIE: I have to go in there.
JACKSON: [bursting through the doors] You stay right where you are.
SOOKIE: Jackson youre being unreasonable.
JACKSON: Sookie when a person offers to make another person dinner because this person happens to be a chef and is always cooking for others, that is what happens to be a nice gesture.
SOOKIE: Yes but -
JACKSON: And when that person accepts the first persons offer, that means that the first person, the one who offered to cook, would actually be doing the cooking while the other person relaxed, had some wine and stayed out of the kitchen!
SOOKIE: I wasnt cooking, I was suggesting.
JACKSON: Well you suggested the ladle right out of my hand four times!
SOOKIE: I had to skim the top of the sauce or it wouldve gotten all -
JACKSON: Damn it Sookie, this is supposed to be romantic!
SOOKIE: It is!
JACKSON: Stay outta here. I am cooking this meal alone. I am also cleaning up alone.
JACKSON: Oh yes.
SOOKIE: But you dont know how to load my dishwasher, I have a system.
JACKSON: Ill wing it. [goes back into the kitchen]
SOOKIE: Theres a diagram in the pantry - use it. Im begging you![yells from the doorway]
JACKSON: Im doing two loads, just because I can!
LORELAI: Honey try and sit down and relax. Its nice what hes doing.
SOOKIE: I know youre right. It is nice. Ok, alright...Im sitting, Im relaxing, Im focusing on you.
LORELAI: Good. Um actually I wanted to ask you a favour.
LORELAI: Could I take your car for a little while, Rorys got mine and theres something I want to do.
SOOKIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah of course. Whats so important?
LORELAI: Oh um, Ill tell you later.
SOOKIE: It sounds serious.
LORELAI: Ill have it back to you as soon as I can.
SOOKIE: Take your time, Im in for the night.
LORELAI: Ok, bye hon.
SOOKIE: Bye. [sighs. Theres a crash in the kitchen] What happened?! What did you do?
CUT TO MAXS APARTMENT
MAX: Lorelai what...
LORELAI: Rory and Dean broke up.
MAX: Oh, well, Im sorry. Rory -
LORELAI: Yeah, Rory and Dean broke up and um, she wont wallow. And I told her that she should wallow you know because thats supposed to help you get through the pain and then you can accept it and then you can get over somebody and you can move on with your life. And then she asked me how long it was before I got over you and I didnt know what to say you know because I cant lie to her, and I realized that if I gave her any time frame at all I would be lying because Im not over you and I dont know how long it will be before I am. And who am I to be teaching her about healing and moving on and breakups any how. I mean I might as well be teaching her how to eat fire or swallow a sword or put her legs behind her head you know, because at least thats a trade. I mean the first two are, I dont know about putting the legs um, behind your head, but the point is that Im an idiot and Im a hypocrite and I really miss you.
MAX: Do you want to come in?
LORELAI: Yes please.
CUT TO MADELINES HOUSE
LANE: Wow, this is unbelievable. My wedding wont be this big.
LORELAI: This is amazing! People live here?
RORY: This is Madelines house.
LANE: Is this what your grandparents house looks like?
RORY: No. I mean its big but its not this Hearst castlely.
LANE: I mean there should be a map or a tour guide or Robin Leech or something.
RORY: Hey Lane.
RORY: Thanks for coming with me.
LANE: Anytime. Oh my God, theres a pool table.
RORY: And a deejay.
LANE: Its like a teenage Sodom and Gommarah.
MADELINE: You came!
LOUISE: Whos watching the farm?
RORY: Madeline you house is beautiful.
MADELINE: Thanks its my stepfathers.
LOUISE: So where is he?
MADELINE: My stepfather? Hes in Japan.
LOUISE: No not your stepfather. Prince Charming?
RORY: He didnt come.
RORY: His white horse was in the shop.
LOUISE: You guys didnt break up did you?
LANE: Hi, Im Lane.
LOUISE: As in walk down a...?
LANE: Yes exactly.
MADELINE: Hi Im Madeline. [two guys come up and wrap their arms around Louise and Madeline.]
GUY: So when does the tour of the pool house start?
MADELINE: Youve seen the pool house before.
LOUISE: Yes but they havent seen it at night right?
MADELINE: But -
LOUISE: Madeline, you are not confused. Think. Process. Focus.
MADELINE: Oh! Bye!
LOUISE: Later Paris.
PARIS: No glove no love.
PARIS: So I didnt think you were much of a party girl.
RORY: Im not usually but I thought I might come by and check it out.
PARIS: Same exact people we see at school except now we get to see them dance. So where is your boyfriend?
RORY: We, um, we broke up.
PARIS: Oh. Well at least you had a boyfriend for a while.
RORY: So do you know, um, which way would lead us to some soda?
PARIS: Keep up because Im not turning around.
LANE: Wow, you didnt exaggerate.
RORY: Paris needs no embellishments.
LANE: All this soda is French.
PARIS: Madelines mother has a French fetish. Shes obsessed with all things French. French wine, French food, French water, French cellulite products.
TRISTIN: Look why wont you answer me?
SUMMER: Because you didnt say please.
SUMMER: Can we do this later? Theres a party going on.
TRISTIN: Just tell me what you were doing locked in the bathroom with Austin.
SUMMER: Well why dont you tell me what I was doing since you seem to know everything.
TRISTIN: Hey you are my girlfriend.
SUMMER: Ooh now hes a caveman. What are you doing to do, know me on the back of my head with a club and then drag me back to your Porsche?
TRISTIN: Summer please.
SUMMER: Ooh, good song. [turns around and dances. Tristin looks around the room then leaves.]
PARIS: I just love that Summer dont you? 9:45.
RORY: Why do you keep checking your watch?
PARIS: My mom says I have to stay until 10:30.
RORY: Why would she care?
PARIS: She thinks Im not enough of a people person. Shocking huh?
RORY: Im floored.
PARIS: Yeah well, I doubt highly that Madam Curie was voted most likely to dress like Jennifer Lopez.
RORY: You want to be a scientist?
PARIS: Cancer research.
LANE: Oh no.
LANE: It just figures that the only Korean boy at this party has his Korean girl radar turned on.
HENRY: Im Henry.
LANE: Im Lane. This is Rory and Paris.
PARIS: Weve met.
HENRY: Paris. So would you like to dance?
LANE: Oh well were talking here.
HENRY: Oh yeah, but I mean one dance? You can put the conversation on hold for one dance right? Unless this is a mid-east peace talk kind of conversation.
LANE: One dance.
HENRY: A short one. No crazy dance mixes.
HENRY: Thank you.
LANE: [taking off her coat and handing it to Rory whispers] If Im not back in one dance youre coming down with a really bad case of anything that means we had to go home.
RORY: Whoa is it getting warm here or is it just me?
LANE: Thank you.
PARIS: Unbelievable! Shes here five minutes she has a date. Ive been going to this school nine years and Im the French soda monitor.
[Rory walks around and finds a place to put her and Lane's coats. She walks around the house and sees Tristin leaning again a wall watching Summer dance with some guy. She watches him for a second then moves on.]
CUT TO MAXS
[Lorelai and Max are kissing]
LORELAI: Just in case this comes up later, I did not come here for this.
MAX: Ok, go it.
MAX: Oh this is crazy! [separating]
LORELAI: No it is, its nuts. Its nuts.
MAX: I mean I dont see you for months and then all of a sudden -
LORELAI: Ding-dong Avon lady.
MAX: Its insane.
LORELAI: Completely. [they kiss again] You do that so good.
MAX: [stopping again] Ok, weve got to get a grip here.
LORELAI: I thought thats what we were doing.
MAX: You know youre going to sit over there on that couch.
MAX: And Im gonna sit here on this - on this chair...far away from the couch. And Im gonna put this table right in between us just like that. Good. Ok. And were gonna sit here and talk about this calmly.
LORELAI: Sounds good.
MAX: How you been?
LORELAI: Good, really good.
MAX: Oh you look really good.
LORELAI: So do you.
MAX: I missed you.
LORELAI: Oh Im glad. Otherwise that greeting there wouldve been a little innappropriate.
MAX: You know actually, Ive been thinking about us lately.
LORELAI: You have?
MAX: Havent you?
LORELAI: No. I havent given it any thought at all.
MAX: Im flattered.
LORELAI: No, I needed not to give it any thought at all otherwise I would give it too much thought and that would be hard and so I just didnt deal. Like mother like daughter I guess.
MAX: Oh I understand.
LORELAI: So, with all the thought youve been giving it, have you come up with any great solutions?
MAX: No. Youre still Rorys mom and Im still her teacher and were still us. I got nothing.
LORELAI: So nothings changed.
MAX: Nothings changed.
LORELAI: So I guess my coming here was probably a bad idea.
MAX: Probably. [tosses table] Oh screw this. [they stand up and kiss again]
CUT TO MADELINES
[Rory walking around. She sees Lane]
RORY: [whispers] Hey am I sick yet?
LANE: Not yet. It actually might just be allergies.
RORY: Keep me posted.
PARIS: My watched stopped, what time is it?
RORY: Its 10:35.
PARIS: Yes, bye. [runs out of the house. Rory finds a quieter room and sits down and starts to read.]
SUMMER: Tristin stop it.
TRISTIN: Youre making me chase you around the whole party.
SUMMER: Just trying t have fun.
TRISTIN: Ok you wont talk to me, you wont dance with me, why the hell did you even come with me?!
SUMMER: Stop yelling.
TRISTIN: Summer please. Can we just go?
SUMMER: No. Im sick of fighting with you. Im sick of hearing 20 times a day Youre my girlfriend.
TRISTIN: Ok could we possibly do this somewhere were a roomful of people arent staring at us?
SUMMER: I think we should break up.
TRISTIN: Ok, I really want to go outside and talk about this.
SUMMER: Then go, bye. [she leaves]
TRISTIN: Summer come on! [Looks around, sees Rory who looks down at her book and he leaves.]
[Lane enters the room]
LANE: I have a major problem.
LANE: Henry, the guy Ive been dancing with?
LANE: Ok so hes really good in school, hes going to be a doctor - pediatrician to be exact, his parents are extremely involved in their local church. He himself helps out with Sunday school. He speaks Korean fluently, he respects his parents and hes also really cute, very funny and surprisingly interesting.
RORY: Lane Im sorry, but Im totally failing to see the problem here.
LANE: Im falling for a guy my parents would approve of! Theyd love him, theyd go crazy! Thered be dancing in the Kim house! Dancing!
LANE: Followed by a lot of praying but initially thered be dancing. This is horrible. This cant happen. I have to stop it. We have to go.
RORY: But uh -
LANE: No now! You need to grab your stuff, we gotta go.
RORY: Ok, yeah, ok. Whatever you say.
LANE: Henry, hi.
HENRY: [to Rory] Sorry Ive been monopolizing Lane all night.
RORY: Oh no, thats ok. Ive had her for 15 years. Im actually a little sick of her.
LANE: Thank you.
RORY: Yeah youre welcome. Um we should go.
HENRY: [to Lane] Oh youre going?
LANE: Oh well -
RORY: Yeah. I have to get home - I have a very strict mother.
HENRY: Oh wow, sorry about that. You couldnt even stay for one more dance huh?
RORY: Yeah I dont think that -
RORY: Excuse me?
LANE: One dance would be fine.
RORY: But -
LANE: Ill be back.
CUT TO MAXS
[Lorelai and Max in bed]
LORELAI: Well I certainly did not come over here for that.
MAX: I know.
LORELAI: You are a wonderful man.
MAX: I know. So...what happens now.
LORELAI: I dont know. Its late. I have to get Sookies car back.
MAX: Whoa, whoa, whoa wait a second. So this is it? You leave and we forget that this ever happened?
MAX: Then what?
LORELAI: I leave and we go on with our lives and then at some point we buy some soup.
LORELAI: What? Soup is good food.
LORELAI: I dont want to leave here and forget this ever happened. I want to think of a solution that will make everything better. And Ive been wracking my brain for an idea. Hence the babbling about soup being good food. But I cant think of anything.
MAX: I think we should talk.
MAX: On the phone - you and me about us on a regular basis.
LORELAI: But -
MAX: We are not going to solve this staying away from each other.
LORELAI: No were not.
MAX: And obviously were not going to solve this by not staying away from each other.
LORELAI: But well burn more calories.
MAX: I want to solve this.
LORELAI: So do I.
MAX: So well talk?
LORELAI: Well talk. [they kiss] Hey I thought we were supposed to be talking.
MAX: Theres plenty of time for talk. [they kiss again]
CUT TO MADELINES
[Rory walks into a room and finds Tristin sitting at the piano]
RORY: Oh sorry.
TRISTIN: No problem.
RORY: Im sorry.
TRISTIN: About what?
RORY: About you and Summer.
TRISTIN: I dont want to talk about Summer.
RORY: Ok. Howd you do on that biology test?
RORY: The test. It was hard wasnt it?
TRISTIN: Yeah it was hard.
RORY: I got a B+
TRISTIN: What are you doing?
RORY: Talking about the test.
RORY: Because you said you didnt want to talk about Summer.
TRISTIN: I dont.
RORY: Ok, so I moved to biology. Sorry did you want to talk about spanish?
TRISTIN: You just loved it, didnt you?
RORY: Loved what?
TRISTIN: Seeing me get nailed like that. Must have been a great moment.
RORY: Not really.
TRISTIN: Please. You loved it, she loved it, everybody loved it.
RORY: I did not love it.
TRISTIN: I really liked her too.
RORY: Yeah I know.
TRISTIN: So wheres your boyfriend tonight?
RORY: Hes...not my boyfriend anymore.
TRISTIN: Why not?
RORY: He didnt want to be.
RORY: Sos Summer.
TRISTIN: You think youll get back together?
RORY: He was pretty set in his decision.
TRISTIN: When did it happen?
RORY: It was our three month anniversary.
TRISTIN: That sucks.
RORY: Yeah it does suck. Do you think you guys will?
TRISTIN: No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
RORY: So no?
TRISTIN: No. Hey, Im sorry I gave you such a hard time for a while.
RORY: Oh thats ok.
TRISTIN: It is?
RORY: Well no, but youre sad.
TRISTIN: Yeah well. I am sorry.
RORY: I accept your apology.
TRISTIN: Oh man, its a great party huh?
RORY: Yeah not bad. It gave me a chance to catch up on my reading.
TRISTIN: You are very odd, you know that?
RORY: Thank you.
TRISTIN: Youre welcome. [he kisses her. Rory pulls away crying] Im sorry, what did I do? Did I bite your lip or something?
RORY: No its not you. Its just - I have to go. [runs out crying.]
RORY: We have to go.
LANE: Rory are you ok? [turns to Henry] I have to go.
HENRY: Well wait, can I get your number?
LANE: Last names Kim and were the only ones in Stars Hollow. [walking away] I cant believe I just came my number to a potential Korean doctor.
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
[Lorelai walks in with a small smile on her face to find Rory sitting on the couch crying eating out of a large bucket of ice cream.]
RORY: Im ready to wallow now.
LORELAI: Oh. [Sits on the couch next to her and kisses Rory. She puts a pillow on her lap and Rory lays down and sobs. Lorelai picks up the phone and dials] Hey Joe its Lorelai. I need a pizza with everything ok? Thanks.