written by Elaine Arata
directed by Bruce Seth Green
transcript by Vanessa
CUT TO LORELAIS ROOM
[Lorelai looking through her closet. Rory laying on her bed]
LORELAI: Absolutely nothing.
RORY: Oh come on.
LORELAI: Im sorry, Im looking but there is nothing in here.
RORY: Oh, youre kidding right?
LORELAI: No, everything in here I wear.
LORELAI: I do. Theres nothing to give up.
RORY: The red and black halter top?
LORELAI: Oh, no.
LORELAI: Uh, its a classic.
RORY: Its got rhinestones and zebra stripes on it.
RORY: It has tassels mom.
LORELAI: Ok, Ive had this since I was 17
RORY: Ok, Im sorry did I mention the tassels?
LORELAI: You are heartless and unsentimental.
RORY: And you are a hopeless packrat.
LORELAI: I dont understand why I have to up root my happy family of clothing anyway.
RORY: Because its a charity rummage sale.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: That you helped organize.
RORY: And volunteered to run.
LORELAI: It was very, very hot in that room that day, I was dehydrated. They couldve talked me into anything.
RORY: It was your idea.
LORELAI: Ok, I am a very sick woman and that should be apparent to anyone.
RORY: Ok, get out of the way.
LORELAI: [Blocking her closet] What are you doing?
RORY: Step away from the closet please. [pushes her aside]
LORELAI: Oh! Oh, this is so unfair! Oh no, no, no. [Rory takes a section out of her closet] Not that whole chunk! Well, just - ok take that, thats ugly. Just that one...no...uh.
RORY: [walking to the dresser] Ok, now all of this goes [pointing to clothes in her arms] I want you to come over here to this dresser, open up the top drawer and take out everything that youd be embarrassed to be wearing during a car accident. Meet me downstairs. [leaves. Over her shoulder] Move!
CUT GILMORE LIVING ROOM
LANE: Over here.
LANE: In back of you.
RORY: A big furry purple thing that could be either a hat, a toilet paper cover or some kind of dirty hand puppet.
LANE: Mystery box on the left.
[Luke enters with two bags]
RORY: Hey Luke.
LUKE: Where do you want these?
RORY: What do you have?
LUKE: Clothes, rags and some old pots and pans [holding up respective bag at a time]
RORY: Kitchenware can go in the kitchen and the clothes can go right over there.
LUKE: Ok. [heads for the kitchen after putting clothes down]
LORELAI: [comes down the stairs] Here Grinch.
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: Who wants cheese?
RORY: Are there crackers?
LORELAI: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes there are crackers.
RORY: And the Gilmore house?
LORELAI: Who wants cheese?
LANE: Me please. Um, kittens in the toilet poster? [holds up poster]
RORY: Another one?
LANE: This ones signed.
LORELAI: [from the kitchen] Ah! There a man in my kitchen, somebody call the constable.
LUKE: [coming into the living room. Lorelai following] Youre moms a fruitcake.
LORELAI: fruitcakes by the door please.
LUKE: Good bye Rory, I wish you luck - [looks at Lorelai] with everything.
RORY: I appreciate that.
LORELAI: Ok, so rummage sales Sunday, today is Tuesday. At this rate, we are going to be sleeping in the yard by Thursday. We have got to start getting some of this stuff out of the living room.
LORELAI: Go away.
TAYLOR: I have a full set of dishes.
RORY: Come on in Taylor.
LORELAI: Oh, um, dishes in the kitchen please.
TAYLOR: Ok, but I have to explain something first.
LORELAI: Fine go ahead.
TAYLOR: The butter dish has a small chip in it.
LORELAI: Safety tip - got it.
TAYLOR: Its fine. I filed down the chip and if you place it strategically on the table, nobody will ever know.
LORELAI: Uh, Taylor, would you like to write out some sort of instruction manual to go with the dishes?
TAYLOR: Oh, could I?
LORELAI: Notepads in the kitchen.
[Lorelai looks through bags]
LORELAI: Ooh, thats nice.
RORY: Put that back.
LORELAI: But it has rhinestones on it.
RORY: The point of this is to get crap out of here, not to trade it in for new crap.
LORELAI: Ok, are you seeing this?
RORY: Yes I am.
LORELAI: No, I dont think you are, because if you were seeing this, you would see that this obviously has Lorelai written all over it.
RORY: Fine, well just get rid of it at next years sale.
LORELAI: Thank you.
SOOKIE: Ok, you guys are gonna love me.
LORELAI: We already love you.
SOOKIE: No, I mean youre really gonna love me.
LORELAI: We do.
SOOKIE: Trust me, you guys are gonna so love me.
LORELAI: Ok, the love is starting to fade now Sookie.
SOOKIE: I have here in my hand, as requested by Ms. Lorelai Gilmore, four fabulous tickets to the Bangles at the Pastorella theater on Saturday!
SOOKIE: Do you love me?
LORELAI: Oh baby do I!
LANE: Are these good seats? These look like good seats.
SOOKIE: 9th row, aisle.
LORELAI: I cant believe you got me my tickets! Well, how did you score these?
SOOKIE: Remember the Birnbaum wedding?
LORELAI: Fiji fantasy?
SOOKIE: Yes. They were so thrilled with the volcano wedding cake that they wanted to do something nice for me and since Mr. Birnbaum runs a ticket agency and I knew you were dying to so, so I asked him if he could...
LORELAI: Make four girls very happy.
SOOKIE: Yeah and he did!
LORELAI: Huzzah for the Birnbaums!
RORY: Hey Sookie, if you got four tickets and you and mom go, then that means...
SOOKIE: Hmm, one for you and one for Lane! [Lane and Sookie hug] Oh, chickadee!
LORELAI: This is gonna be a very special night. And you know what a very, very special night deserves?
LORELAI: [pulls out a hot pink dress] A new outfit!
LORELAI: What could the problem be?
RORY: This is the tackiest...
CUT TO CHILTON
MS. CALDECOTT: As I mentioned yesterday, we will be holding a debate next week. Your subject Did Charles I receive a fair trial The pros will represent the parliament who deemed they had sovereignty and the cons will represent the monarch and try and prove that the charge against him was not legal. What is fascinating Mr. Dugray? [catching him looking at Rory]
TRISTIN: Uh, nothing Ms. Caldecott.
MS. CALDECOTT: Nothing Mr. Dugray?
TRISTIN: My notes - my notes are fascinating Ms. Caldecott.
MS. CALDECOTT: Yes they are fascinating Mr. Dugray. As I was saying, the pro and con teams will each have two minutes and 30 seconds for introductions, six minutes to debate, three minutes for conclusions and five minutes for questions from the audience. The winner shall be decided by a hand count from the rest of the class. Does that sound like fun Mr. Dugray? [again, hes looking at Rory]
MS. CALDECOTT: The debate. Does it sound like fun?
TRISTIN: Yes, it does.
MS. CALDECOTT: It does, doesnt it Mr. Dugray?
TRISTIN: Oh, it absolutely does Ms. Caldecott.
MS. CALDECOTT: More fun than staring at Miss Gilmores ear?
TRISTIN: Yes Ms. Caldecott.
MS. CALDECOTT: Yeah, I think so too. Ok, any questions? Good, Ill assign your teams. [Pointing] You, you, you, you - con. You, you, you, you, - pro. [in background for next two lines] You, you, you, you - con. You, you, you -
PARIS: [whispers] Who did she point to?
MADELINE: [whispers] Well I think she... [looking at Louise and Rory]
PARIS: [stands up] Excuse me, Ms. Caldecott?
MS. CALDECOTT: Miss Geller?
PARIS: I wasnt sure who you pointed to just now.
MS. CALDECOTT: Oh, uh, lets see. You, Miss Lynn, Miss Grant and Miss Gilmore.
PARIS: Are you sure?
MS. CALDECOTT: Yes I am, but thank you for asking. [Paris sits] Ok, you, you, you and you - pro. You and you - con.
CUT TO HALLWAY
[Paris, Louise, Madeline and Rory standing around]
RORY: So I guess we should make a plan.
MADELINE: To do what?
PARIS: To work out our debate Madeline.
MADELINE: Oh, yeah right.
LOUISE: We need a place to work.
PARIS: My house is out.
PARIS: Because it is.
LOUISE: You need a reason.
PARIS: My mother is having the entire place redone, she wants all evidence of my father out of there. So unless you want to sit on no furniture, while watching three Harvey Fierstein impersonators rip up the carpet and paint everything a ridiculous shade of white and call it angels kiss then were going to have to find somebody elses house to go to.
MADELINE: My brother has the measels.
LOUISE: My moms having an affair.
RORY: Well I guess we can go to my house. I mean, were having a town rummage sale so its kind of a mess, but its there.
LOUISE: Isnt your house kind of far?
RORY: Its thirty minutes away by bus.
LOUISE: Bus? I dont do bus.
RORY: Well if you have a better suggestion -
PARIS: Ill drive.
RORY: Ok, so then tomorrow.
TRISTIN: [walks right past Rory] Hey Paris.
PARIS: Tristin, hi.
TRISTIN: You know I was really hoping wed be in the same group.
PARIS: You were?
TRISTIN: Oh yeah. I mean, it would make the long hours of studying go by a lot faster. Plus, come on - you and me on the same team, wed wipe the floor with the others. I guess well just have to pair up on something else then huh?
PARIS: That would be good.
TRISTIN: Yeah it would. Ill see you later. Bye Madeline, bye Louise.
LOUISE: Tristin suddenly has very big eyes for you grandma.
PARIS: Stop it, hes just being nice.
MADELINE: He should be so nice to me.
LOUISE: And me.
PARIS: We need to get to class [the three of them leave. Paris is smiling.]
CUT TO RORY AND LANE WALKING TO KIM HOUSE
LANE: All three of them huh?
RORY: Double, double toil and trouble.
LANE: Well, it should make for an interesting afternoon.
RORY: With the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.
LANE: Youre doing very well in the Shakespeare class arent you?
RORY: Not bad.
RORY: Thanks. Ok so whats the plan?
LANE: Well go in and ask her if I can go to a play tomorrow night with you and Lorelai.
RORY: A play?
LANE: I think thats the safest word. Show or concert would be very bad.
RORY: What about saying its a movie?
LANE: Too far from the truth - almost a lie.
RORY: But a play is not a lie?
LANE: Well its far away from the truth that it might work but close enough to the truth that I think I can negotiate a purgatory stint if forced to.
RORY: Play it is.
LANE: Ok, were going in.
[pan to inside Kim household]
MAN: Are you sure its an original Queen Anne?
MRS. KIM: Yes - original.
MAN: The joints look wrong.
MRS. KIM: Joints are fine.
MAN: They look new.
MRS. KIM: Not new, nothings new - whole store is old.
MAN: Do you have a certificate or a letter that you write saying that its old.
MRS. KIM: Yes, Ill write a letter.
MAN: Ok, well I guess if its really old, Ill take it.
MRS. KIM: We appreciate your business.
LANE: [whispers to Rory] She just made a sale, now is a good time. [louder] Hi mama.
MRS. KIM: Whats wrong?
MRS. KIM: You look flushed.
LANE: I do?
MRS. KIM: You eat candy?
MRS. KIM: Doughnut?
MRS. KIM: Hostess fruit-pie?
LANE: No, nothing, Im fine.
RORY: Hello Mrs. Kim.
MRS. KIM: Rory.
LANE: Mama can I talk to you for a minute?
MRS. KIM: Im busy.
LANE: I know, I was just wondering if I could go somewhere tomorrow with Rory and her mom.
MRS. KIM: Tomorrow is church.
LANE: This would be after church.
MRS. KIM: After church we think about what we heard in church.
LANE: Well I thought I could think about what I heard in church on the way to the show.
MRS. KIM: Show?
LANE: Not show, play - its a play mama.
MRS. KIM: Tell me about this play. Whats it about?
LANE: Ok, well, its about a group of people who own instruments and stand in front of other people holding them.
MRS. KIM: What?
LANE: Im not sure what its about.
RORY: We could find out.
MRS. KIM: You find out, then we talk.
MAN: Excuse me, Id really like that letter if you dont mind.
MRS. KIM: Yes Im coming. [leaves]
RORY: Hows that purgatory negotiation looking?
LANE: Not good.
RORY: What do we do now?
LANE: Ill ask again later.
RORY: Well call me if you need anything.
LANE: Thanks, I will.
CUT TO LUKES WITH A RUMMAGE SALE SIGN IN THE WINDOW
LUKE: If you want coffee, youll have to wait.
RORY: Hey Luke, someone put a sign for the rummage sale up in your window over there.
LUKE: You can have decaf right now if youre in a hurry.
RORY: You should call the cops about this. I mean we all know how you feel about public displays of town affection.
LUKE: Your mom asked me to put it there ok?
RORY: And you said yes?
LUKE: Shes not real good with no.
RORY: No shes not.
LUKE: For every second you laugh at me, thats one second longer youre waiting for coffee.
RORY: Sorry, no laughing. [he leaves]
[Lorelai walks in with a black and brown polka dot cowboy hat on]
LORELAI: Margaret Atworthy just dropped off three boxes of city council pot holders and begged me to take her grandson. People are getting crazy man. What?
RORY: What are you wearing?
LORELAI: Hey, we have already argued about the sweatshirt.
RORY: Yes but we have not argued about the hat.
LORELAI: What hat?
RORY: The one on your head, Annie Oakley.
LORELAI: Its great isnt it?
RORY: As nice as it is that youre single handedly trying to rebuild the bridge, you have got to stop buying up other peoples junk.
LORELAI: The money goes to charity. I look cute. Case closed. Oh finally, the coffee cavalry arrives.
LUKE: What the hell do you think youre wearing?
LORELAI: A hat.
LUKE: Take that off.
LUKE: Now that is not yours, take it off.
LORELAI: But Ill have hat hair.
LUKE: Im talking about the sweatshirt.
LORELAI: Luke calm down.
LUKE: That is not yours.
LORELAI: No, I found it in the bags of stuff for the sale.
LUKE: Oh so you just find something and then you take it is that it?
LORELAI: No, I paid for it.
LUKE: Oh so that makes it alright.
LORELAI: It makes it legal. What is the matter with you?
LUKE: Nothing. Nothing is the matter.
LUKE: Pour your own coffee. [puts coffee pot down on the counter and leaves]
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
[Living room is stuffed with bags/boxes of stuff to the point where you cant see furniture]
LORELAI: [sighs] Ok just a question. Did anyone in town keep anything?
SOOKIE: Doesnt look like it.
LORELAI: Im never being civic-minded again.
SOOKIE: Honey, youre doing a good thing. [falls] Ow!
SOOKIE: Im ok.
LORELAI: Wave an arm.
SOOKIE: [Waving her arm] Here.
LORELAI: I gotcha. [takes her hand and starts to pull her up]
SOOKIE: Hold on, something down here likes me.
SOOKIE: Yeah, Im good. Hold on. Up, please.
RORY: Jeez this stuff is like tribbles.
LORELAI: Oh, thank God - just in time. Grab a bag and move it to the side of the room and be very careful, this pile just tried to eat Sookie.
RORY: Maybe I should sic it on Paris when she gets here.
LORELAI: Oh my God, thats right. Youre studying here today.
RORY: Any minute actually.
LORELAI: Oh this place is such a pit.
RORY: Mom dont worry about it. Theyll come in, theyll make a face, theyll say something snotty, well study, theyll leave. Im just looking forward to this whole day being over, then I can concentrate on the concert.
MISS PATTY: Lorelai, sweetheart would you come outside please? I want to know where you want me to put these.
LORELAI: Coming Patty!
SOOKIE: Ok, two very large porcelain squirrels.
LORELAI: Set them free.
SOOKIE: Will do.
[Pan to outside. Pattys standing in front of big drums.]
LORELAI: Wow, huh. These are great. Theyll really come in handy when we finally organize that giant marching band weve been talking about.
MISS PATTY: I danced on these drums at the Copacabana in 1969.
MISS PATTY: Yeah, it was a great act. I wore bananas.
LORELAI: Oh please, tell me you have a picture of that.
MISS PATTY: [chuckles] A lot of memories happened on these drums. But I guess its time to move on.
LORELAI: Yeah, sure. Now youll finally have room for the enormous tuba youve hand your eyes on. [Miss Patty looks at her] Just leave - leave these here.
RORY: [on the phone] Yeah, you too. Bye. [hangs up] That was Lane [to Lorelai]
LORELAI: Oh and whats the verdict?
RORY: She decided to be stupid and tell her mother the truth - that she wanted to go to a rock concert with us tonight in New York.
LORELAI: Im so sorry.
RORY: Im making coffee.
MISS PATTY: Well this looks really familiar. [picking up Lorelais sweatshirt]
LORELAI: Oh, thats mine. Er, I saw it first and then I bought it so its mine now.
MISS PATTY: Really? Who brought it in?
LORELAI: I think Luke did and judging by his very hostile reaction he obviously wasnt done wearing it yet.
MISS PATTY: Oh my, I wonder if -
MISS PATTY: [to Sookie] I bet this was Rachels.
SOOKIE: Oh my God - Rachels?
LORELAI: Rachel? Whos Rachel?
SOOKIE: Rachel was Lukes very serious girlfriend. It does look like her.
LORELAI: When did Luke have a girlfriend?
MISS PATTY: Oh this must have been what, five, six years ago? Did she break that mans heart. It was terrible.
LORELAI: How did I not know about this?
SOOKIE: Honey, you had an 11 year old kid and you were just moving into this house. Plus Rachel traveled all the time. She was a photographer.
MISS PATTY: Archeologist.
MISS PATTY: Or a flight attendant.
LORELAI: I cant believe I never even heard about it.
MISS PATTY: At least I think so.
SOOKIE: Well Luke never talks about it. No one else likes to talk about it because he could probably kill you with that coffee pot if he wanted to.
LORELAI: Wow. I never pictured Luke having a girlfriend, or a broken heart.
MISS PATTY: Well I would keep this hidden if I were you. Well I gotta be going. Trampoline class at two.
SOOKIE: Bye Patty.
MISS PATTY: Bye.
LORELAI: Bye, thanks for the drums.
SOOKIE: Ok, these all need to be mended.
LORELAI: My room.
SOOKIE: Mm-hmm. Ok.
[Lorelai looks out the window and sees Paris, Madeline and Louise getting out of a car]
LORELAI: Rory, I think your friends are here. She must be one great babysitter to earn enough money for that car.
RORY: Lets just get this over with.
LORELAI: Take heart my dear. Suffer today party tonight.
LORELAI: [Opens front door] Hi.
LORELAI: Come one in.
RORY: So did you guys find it ok?
PARIS: Theres no sign on this street.
RORY: I know, thats why I told you to turn right at the big rooster statue.
PARIS: I thought you were kidding.
LORELAI: Oh no, we never kid about Monty.
LORELAI: Monty the rooster - Monty.
RORY: Everybody this is my mom.
RORY: This is Louise, Madeline and Paris.
LORELAI: Ah, very good girl-group names. Ok, so, um sorry about the house of horrors here. Some crazy lady volunteered to lead this charity thing and were trying to get her some help, so make yourselves comfortable. Rory, just yell when you guys want pizza.
LORELAI: Ok. [goes upstairs]
RORY: So do you guys want to work in here or in the kitchen?
RORY: Ok. [they sit in the livingroom]
PARIS: Ok, so heres how it should go. Madeline will do the introductions, Ill handle the debate, Rory will do the onclusion and Louise will take questions.
RORY: Why do you automatically get to handle the debate?
PARIS: Because Im the most experienced at it.
MADELINE: Trust me, you want her to handle the debate. She never gives up.
LOUISE: Le pitbull.
LOUISE: So what is all this stuff? [going through some bags]
RORY: Uh, its for a big town rummage sale.
MADELINE: Like a charity thing?
RORY: Yeah. Theres this old bridge thats completely falling apart and the towns trying to save it.
LOUISE: Oh cool hat.
PARIS: Put that down. Its used.
LOUISE: Vintage dear.
PARIS: Filthy darling.
MADELINE: Theres this great store under my therapist office who has the best vintage clothes. I found an original Pucci top for practically nothing.
LOUISE: Oh Pucci is very big right now.
MADELINE: Is this a Pucci? [holding up a shirt]
RORY: No, thats a patty.
LOUISE: A patty?
RORY: Miss Patty. Shes a dance teacher here. These are some of her old costumes.
LOUISE: Oh here Paris. Tristin might like this [holds up a pink sequence dress]
PARIS: Can we just work please?
LOUISE: Ugh. I would love to have a boyfriend that looked like Tristin.
MADELINE: Your boyfriends no slouch either.
RORY: No hes not.
LOUISE: Oh yes - 62... and fiesty. So hows that going? Are you two still Joanie loves Chachi?
RORY: God, I hope not.
MADELINE: You are still together arent you?
RORY: Yeah, were still together.
LOUISE: How long has it been?
RORY: I dont know.
MADELINE: You do too.
RORY: About a month.
LOUISE: Oh, lifers.
PARIS: We have a debate to organize here and this conversation is quickly veering towards the subject of french kissing and glitter eye shadow - trashy or trendy? And I for one have no intention of being humiliated in front of the whole class because we were forced to study in the middle of a carnival and you two couldnt keep your eye on the prize! I want to win and Im going to win.
LOUISE: So how good of a kisser is Paul Bunyan anyway? [Louise, Madeline and Rory giggle.]
[Pan to Lorelais room]
SOOKIE: Ok, does anyone in town have a peg leg?
SOOKIE: Hem these.
LORELAI: So tell me more about this Rachel?
SOOKIE: Why are you so curious?
LORELAI: Well because apparently everybody in town knows everything about it and I dont like to be out of the loop.
SOOKIE: Its old news.
LORELAI: Yes but Im fascinated. I mean, I go to Lukes once a day, sometimes twice - three times if Michel has talked to one of his relatives and his accent has gotten thicker. I feel I should know the whole story. What happened? Whered she go?
SOOKIE: Well, Rachel liked to move around a lot. She was very adventurous person. She loved to climb things and fling herself off of cliffs and dive into these really tiny lakes and ride big wild horses and fly planes.
LORELAI: So she was wonder woman.
SOOKIE: She was to Luke. I thought they were going to get married.
LORELAI: What happened?
SOOKIE: The rumour is that Starts Hollow was too small for her. She wanted to live somewhere more exciting.
LORELAI: But Luke didnt.
SOOKIE: Mm. You know Luke. He lived here all his life. He wouldnt even go away for college. I think were going to bury him in that diner.
LORELAI: Wow. Its sad.
SOOKIE: Yeah. Ok, well I am done here. Im gonna stop by the inn for a while and then I am gonna go home and Im gonna change for the show tonight.
LORELAI: We leave at 6.
SOOKIE: I will be here, bye
[Pan to living room]
PARIS: Well need the actual quotes so learn them by heart.
MADELINE: What about using note cards.
PARIS: Note cards look sloppy. We will know our information.
MADELINE: But the other teams will use note cards.
PARIS: And the other team will lose.
SOOKIE: Bye girls, Rory, see you tonight!
RORY: Bye Sookie.
LORELAI: Whats tonight?
RORY: Weve got tickets to see the Bangles at the Pastorella theatre.
MADELINE: In New York?
LOUISE: Sounds potentially not boring.
RORY: Its gonna be great actually and the seats are amazing.
MADELINE: Who are you going with?
RORY: My mom and Sookie.
LOUISE: Youre kidding?
LOUISE: Youre going to a concert with your mom?
MADELINE: I cannot imagine doing anything like that with my mom.
RORY: Actually we do stuff like this all the time.
LOUISE: Hey, how old is your mom anyways?
LOUISE: So that means she had you when she was...
PARIS: 16. She had her when she was 16. Weve done the math, can we just ooh and aah about this quickly and get back to work?
LOUISE: 16. Im 16.
MADELINE: So am I.
PARIS: Were all 16 ok. Everybody in this room is 16.
RORY: Paris is right. We should work.
PARIS: Thank you.
LOUISE: I cant imaging having a baby at 16.
PARIS: Well then keep your knees shut.
LOUISE: Very nice.
MADELINE: Do you think your mom is sorry she got pregnant so young?
PARIS: Of course she is.
RORY: Why thank you.
PARIS: I didnt meant that. I just meant that...
RORY: I mean, I dont think she would recommend it but I think shes happy with how things turned out.
LORELAI: I am?
RORY: Yes you are.
LORELAI: Ok, just checking. Hey, Im starving, is it pizza time yet?
RORY: Are you guys hungry?
MADELINE: I am.
PARIS: I cant eat dairy.
LORELAI: Ok, one with cheese, one without. Cokes?
RORY: Yes please.
MADELINE: Me too.
PARIS: Were never going to finish.
LOUISE: I find your mother completely fascinating.
RORY: Funny - so does she.
LOUISE: Its almost more like having a big sister.
MADELINE: And you like her dont you?
RORY: Shes my best friend.
LOUISE: Truly, completely fascinating.
LORELAI: [from the kitchen] Rory come in here a sec!
RORY: Ill be right back.
[Pan to kitchen]
LORELAI: Hey, hows it going in there?
RORY: Truly, completely fascinating.
RORY: Well weve basically gotten no work down at all. Paris is having a meltdown, which by the way is always fun.
LORELAI: Sounds it.
RORY: And, I dont know, weve just been talking.
LORELAI: Well, I think youre actually making some friends here.
RORY: Lets not get ahead of ourselves. Theyve basically just moved off the plan to dump the pigs blood on me at the prom, thats all.
LORELAI: Talking, chatting, no work being done - theres friend potential going on.
RORY: Maybe - with Louise and Madeline at least.
LORELAI: Two out or three formerly psychotic enemies - not bad. There [handing Rory a plate]- pop-tart appetizers to tide you over till the pizza comes.
RORY: Thanks [turns to leave]
LORELAI: Hey, I have kind of a crazy idea.
RORY: Those are never comforting words coming from you.
LORELAI: Just consider this ok?
LORELAI: Now, we have four tickets to the show tonight.
RORY: Yes we do.
LORELAI: What if I give them to you? You take them.
RORY: What are you talking about?
LORELAI: Well, it just seems like you guys have kind of a bonding thing going on in there, it might be fun.
RORY: But what about you?
LORELAI: No, no you and I have already bonded. In fact, if we bond any further, we will be permanently fused together.
RORY: Youve been talking about this concert since you heard about it.
LORELAI: I can still go.
LORELAI: Sookie and I can buy cheap seats when we get there.
RORY: These tickets are 9th row aisle - dream seats.
LORELAI: Look, you dont have to do this, but I just think you have three years of Chilton ahead of you and it might be nice to have some friendly type people to talk to there. And I dont know, you guys seem to be getting along, it might be good. And I totally dont mind, I just want to see the show, I dont care from what seat.
RORY: Are you sure?
LORELAI: Completely sure.
RORY: Because I -
LORELAI: Oh ladies! [taking plate and going into the living room] Hey what are you guys doing tonight?
LORELAI: Well we have these really great tickets to see the Bangles at the Pastorella theater and Rory thought you might like to come along.
MADELINE: Are you serious?
LOUISE: No way.
RORY: Yeah - I mean if you guys want to.
MADELINE: I would love to go.
LOUISE: Count me in.
RORY: Paris, what about you?
PARIS: I cant.
LOUISE: Yes you can.
PARIS: No, I cant.
LOUISE: Because youre busy doing what?
PARIS: I have homework.
MADELINE: Shell be there.
CUT TO NY
[In the theater. Sookie squeals]
RORY: He made it [Louise and Madeline look at bracelet Dean made for her]
MADELINE: Oh hes handy. How great.
LOUISE: And you wear it all the time right?
LORELAI: Just when shes breathing.
SOOKIE: Its a love thing.
RORY: Thanks for the contributions.
LORELAI: Ok here [offers tickets but pulls them back] Ah! With these tickets you are about to enter sacred space, you will be treading on hallowed ground, you will be walking like an Egyptian.
LORELAI: Takeem. Oh youre going to have a great time. The Bangles are the best! They were my favorite band in high school. I almost named you Susanna. The day I found out you had no musical talent at all was the saddest day of my life.
RORY: Im sorry.
LORELAI: Well you say that now. Here, ok, these are probably located - Hi! [to usher]
LORELAI: Can you tell me where these seats are?
USHER: Uh, those are right in here.
LORELAI: Oh good, girls...ok, heres the deal. Take the tickets, go to your seats, have the night of a lifetime - Bangle it up. The second the concert is over, meet us outside in front of the theater got it?
LORELAI: Good! Now go!
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: Youre welcome. [to Sookie] Ok, lets go make our noses bleed.
SOOKIE: After you.
PARIS: Which aisle is it?
LOUISE: Were almost there.
MADELINE: I have never sat this close to a stage before. In fact, Ive never even really been to a concert before so I could be sitting at the back and say the same thing.
LOUISE: In here.
MADELINE: Oh good.
RORY: Wow, these are amazing seats.
LOUISE: [checking out the cute guys in the row behind them] Yes they are.
RORY: [to Paris] What are they looking at?
PARIS: One guess. [Rory looks behind them at the guys]
GUY: Check it out, weve got fans [seeing Rory]
PARIS: Was I right? [as Rory turns back]
RORY: You were right.
PARIS: And before its dark, theyll have every picnic basket thats in Jelly Stone park.
[Pan to Sookie and Lorelai climbing stairs]
SOOKIE: Did you ever see Everest?
SOOKIE: Its a good movie.
LORELAI: We must be getting close, were running out of rows.
SOOKIE: And 1,000. Ok, were here.
LORELAI: Great. Ok, this is fine [sitting]
SOOKIE: Not bad at all. [Lorelai starts to laugh] What? What? What is so funny?
LORELAI: [laughing] These are the worst seats in the entire world!
SOOKIE: They are, arent they?
LORELAI: Oh my God, its so funny. [to guy next to her] Dont you think this is funny?
GUY: You know, I dont.
LORELAI: Im sorry, Im sorry.
SOOKIE: Ooh, theyre starting. Do you have a lighter?
LORELAI: [laughing] You mean a flame thrower? [to guy] Do you get it? A flame thrower because its so far.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen - The Bangles!!!
[Bangles play. Pan to later during the concert, Rory and Paris are watching the concert and Louise and Madeline are flirting with the guys in the row behind them. Pan to Lorelai and Sookie]
LORELAI: Hey, was Rachel pretty?
LORELAI: Im just curious, was she pretty?
SOOKIE: She was pretty.
LORELAI: Like, what kind of pretty?
SOOKIE: What do you mean what kind of pretty?
LORELAI: I mean, like was she a Catherine Zeta-Jones kind of pretty or a Michelle Pfiffer-y pretty or -
SOOKIE: She was an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
LORELAI: Thats an intense kind of pretty.
SOOKIE: Youre not kidding.
LORELAI: I never pictured Luke with an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
SOOKIE: No? Pictured him more with a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty?
LORELAI: Oh, the air up here must be very thin because youre delirious.
SOOKIE: And youre jealous.
SOOKIE: Youre jealous of Rachel.
LORELAI: Youre accusing me of being jealous of a woman who dumped a man Im not even interested in five years ago?
LORELAI: And you dont think thats crazy?
SOOKIE: Oh I do think thats crazy?
LORELAI: Right, Im not jealous.
SOOKIE: Yeah you are.
[Lorelai scoffs. Pan to girls]
LOUISE: Oh my God! He is so gorgeous.
RORY: I guess.
LOUISE: Listen, theres a massive party going on right around the corner.
LOUISE: So they invited us.
LOUISE: Jess and Sean, weve been talking to them this whole time, theyre extremely cool.
MADELINE: Are we going?
RORY: Going where?
MADELINE: To the party?
RORY: Theres a concert going on.
LOUISE: The band wont miss us.
RORY: We cant just leave Louise.
LOUISE: Its America Rory.
RORY: We have to meet my mom after the show.
LOUISE: Oh come on.
RORY: What do you mean Oh come on. We have to meet my mother after the concert. The band may not miss us but Lorelai sure will.
MADELINE: These guys are so cute.
RORY: Oh thats great but were not going anywhere.
LOUISE: What are you afraid?
RORY: Of going out into a strange city with two guys I dont know? Yeah.
MADELINE: Rory please!
LOUISE: Well were going.
RORY: No youre not.
LOUISE: Paris, join please?
PARIS: No, thanks.
LOUISE: Fine, come on Madeline.
RORY: And just what am I supposed to tell my mother?
LOUISE: That youre a very good little girl. [gets up and leaves]
MADELINE: The partys in a building on the corner of Waverly and First. Try to get away. [leaves]
MADELINE: Well be back by the time the concerts over.
PARIS: You know, I really like this band.
[Pan to later. Rory and Paris waiting]
RORY: I couldnt find Mom or Sookie anywhere.
PARIS: So what do we do now?
RORY: I guess we just wait here for them to find us.
RORY: I cant believe Louise and Madeline would just leave like that.
PARIS: Theyve done it before.
PARIS: Yeah, well.
RORY: Can I ask you a question?
RORY: What could you possibly see in Tristin?
PARIS: You wouldnt understand.
RORY: Is it just that hes cute?
RORY: Cause there are a lot of cute guys in the world.
PARIS: Not like Tristin.
RORY: Hes just such a jerk.
PARIS: Hes not always a jerk.
RORY: Ok. When is not a jerk?
PARIS: Ive known Tristin a really long time ok? Weve been in the same class since kindergarten.
PARIS: Yes...and he has things in his life that are hard. His parents - not so great. We have that in common.
PARIS: He kissed me once.
RORY: He did?
PARIS: In the 6th grade - on a dare.
RORY: How romantic.
PARIS: You just dont know him like I do ok?
RORY: Ok, I believe you. I just - I think maybe you could do better.
PARIS: I know hes flirting with me to get to you, but at least hes flirting with me.
RORY: There you are.
LORELAI: Think fast [throws them a t-shirt each] T-shirts for all the girls because Im the good witch of the - hey, arent you missing a couple of kids?
RORY: They left.
LORELAI: Excuse me?
RORY: Madeline and Louise met these guys and they -
LORELAI: What guys?
RORY: I dont know, they were sitting behind us and they were having a party.
SOOKIE: Whats going on?
LORELAI: They left.
LORELAI: Lets go, come on, move.
CUT TO APARTMENT BUILDING
LORELAI: I leave the house with four girls, Im coming home with four girls. [knocks on a door] Hi, Im looking for a couple of college boys, who might live here or have friends who live here.
WOMAN: I dont talk to anyone. People annoy me. [closes door]
LORELAI: [coming up to Sookie listening at a door] What?
SOOKIE: She found him with the blonde again.
PARIS: Shes gonna knock on every door in the entire building isnt she?
LORELAI: [knocks] Hello? Is anyone home?
SOOKIE: [knocks] Hello? [dog barks] Aah! Lets go follow your mother.
PARIS: I wonder if I was missing if my mom would come looking for me like that.
RORY: Paris, you know she would.
PARIS: Yeah, or at least shed send somebody.
[Lorelai knocks on another door. Theres music playing]
LORELAI: Lets go. [knocks. Guy answers]
RORY: Mom, thats one of the guys.
LORELAI: Thanks. Hi, could you move please? [enters]
LORELAI: Hey, did you miss me?
LORELAI: Ms. Gilmore. Put the cups down, lets move.
GUY: Is there a problem?
LORELAI: Yeah, see those two idiots over there? Theyre 16 - underage and I bet youre not. I also bet those big fancy party cups arent holding lemonade. You really want to end any further conversations with me so step aside Skippy. Move your asses outside - now! [they leave apart.] Hey. I am not even going to begin to tell you how completely insane it is to take off with anyone you dont know, or drink things that you dont know whats in them, or act like you have a clue when you dont, but so help me God if you ever pull a stunt like this again, it will not be around my kid! Do you understand me?
LORELAI: Good, now lets go. I cant wait to meet your parents. We have some catching up to do. I think well just talk and talk and talk all night long.
PARIS: You know what? I think this is the best night Ive ever had.
CUT TO RUMMAGE SALE
LANE: I cannot believe I missed it.
RORY: The concert was amazing.
LANE: Forget about the concert. I wanted to see Lorelai pull those idiots out of that guys apartment.
RORY: It definitely was a Kodak moment.
LORELAI: Hey, you didnt wake me up.
RORY: I set the clock.
LORELAI: Yes, but see the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall giving me ample time to fall back to sleep, you however never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus ensuring the wake up process.
LANE: Im gonna get a soda, anybody want anything?
LORELAI: Yes, the night of my 14th birthday back so I can right the green-hot-pant-roller-disco outfit wrong.
LANE: Coming right up.
LORELAI: Bye. So, talked to anybody today?
RORY: You mean Madeline or Louise or Paris?
RORY: Though I bet school tomorrow will be really interesting.
LORELAI: Oh yes - stories of Rorys Bangles - obsessed mother ripping open apartment doors, scaring the pointy haired boys.
RORY: Totally uncool, man.
LORELAI: I had to do it Rory, they couldve gotten hurt.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: God, I thought inviting those girls out would make things easier for you at school.
RORY: Yeah, well Ive always thought easy is completely overrated.
LORELAI: Oh, thats my twisted girl.
RORY: Plus Paris decided to let me split the debate time with her.
LORELAI: Wow! [pause] Wait, why am I wowing?
RORY: Because splitting debate time with Paris is like doing that whole spitting in your palm and shaking hands friendship oath thing.
LORELAI: But way less gross?
LORELAI: Oh, good, Im glad then. Oh, uh, Ill be right back.
LORELAI: [coming up to Luke] Hey.
LUKE: Oh, hey.
LORELAI: Find anything good?
LUKE: Oh yeah, I got some refrigerator magnets shaped like sushi for a nickel, so basically I scored.
LORELAI: Oh good.
LUKE: Hey, look, about that thing that happened the other day -
LORELAI: Oh forget it.
LUKE: I was a jerk, I didnt mean it.
LORELAI: I know - really
LUKE: Yeah well, I am sorry.
LORELAI: I wanted to give this back to you [offering Rachels sweatshirt]
LUKE: Oh no, you bought it.
LORELAI: I know but its yours and I didnt know.
LUKE: You didnt know?
LORELAI: About the former owner.
LORELAI: If I had, I wouldnt have flaunted it in front of you like that.
LUKE: Hey, its not a big deal, I was having a bad day, thats it. Now I got magnetic sushi and all is right with the world.
LORELAI: Ok good. So here. It obvious
ly means something to you.
LUKE: But you have to let things go eventually right?
LORELAI: Yeah, but sometimes you need a little something to remind you. I mean you wouldnt want to forget everything would you?
LUKE: No there was some stuff that I definitely would not want to forget.
LORELAI: Well here, so you dont forget.
LUKE: Thanks, can I pay you for it?
LORELAI: In coffee, absolutely.
LUKE: Alright. Im not pining you know -
LORELAI: I know
LUKE: Just remembering.
LORELAI: Got it.
LUKE: Remembering is not pining.
LORELAI: Youre absolutely right.
LUKE: Its just like a memento, like restaurant matches.
LORELAI: I can see the resemblance.
LUKE: Ok, well good.
LORELAI: Bye Luke.