written by Amy Sherman-Palladino
directed by Lev L. Spiro
transcript by Vanessa
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
[Lorelai comes into the kitchen, takes the coffee pot off the maker while Rory puts her coffee cup in its place to catch the coffee thats still in the process of being made. Rory puts two pop tarts in the toaster, takes her coffee cup from the coffee maker while Lorelai replaces it with the pot. Lorelai puts the pop tarts on a paper towel while Rory picks up her school bag. Lorelai hands Rory a pop tart and with coffee and pop tart in hand, tries to tie her shirt. Rory hands her her coffee, puts the tart in her mouth and ties it for Lorelai. Lorelai takes the clip out of Rorys hair, gives her a 'what were you thinking' look and tosses it aside. Rory takes her coffee back and they both leave.]
CUT TO GILMORE LIVING ROOM
[Rory and Lane are sitting on the couch]
RORY: Wow, you went new-cd crazy! [dumping a bag full of cds on the coffee table]
LANE: They just had an amazing selection today.
RORY: The best of Blondie...Kraftwerk...Young Marble Giants...Yoko Ono - really?
LANE: A very misunderstood artist and the Beattles wouldve broken up anyways.
RORY: Have you shared this theory with anyone?
LANE: I know it, Yoko knows it, Sean knows it. Julians still in denial but what can you do?
RORY: Ok, I must listen to anyone named Claudine Longet [puts cd in player]
RORY: Yes Lane?
LANE: I have a favor to ask you.
RORY: Uh huh?
LANE: Well you know Dean?
RORY: My boyfriend?
RORY: Yes I do.
LANE: Ok...well remember I was telling you about his friend Todd?
RORY: Todd. Yes.
LANE: Have you met him?
LANE: Well hes cool.
LANE: Really cool.
RORY: Good again.
LANE: Really, really cool.
RORY: Good still holds.
LANE: So cool in fact that it brings me to the next question [Lorelai comes into living room]
LORELAI: Hey. Im studying in there...
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: Yeah. I have like 6,000 pages of case studies to memorize and this whole big test on the Wal-Mart phenomena coming up on Friday and because I have a life and a job and business schools not the only thing I have to concentrate on Im behind, and Ill probably fail and then that little 18 year old annoying knat who sits behind me will get another A and make that Im smart youre dumb fact to me for the rest of the week and Ill be very upset and will possibly cry.
RORY: The musics too loud.
RORY: Got it.
LORELAI: Thank you [Lorelai turns and goes back into the kitchen as Rory turns down the volume.]
LANE: So anyhow, I was wondering if you could talk to Dean about maybe talking to Todd about me.
RORY: I guess.
LANE: And then maybe you could ask Dean to ask him out - for me.
RORY: Good, cause I dont think Dean would want to go out with Todd. Might screw up their friendship.
LANE: And then I was thinking that this date could maybe happen this weekend.
LANE: Sunday preferably.
RORY: Well -
LANE: After church.
RORY: Lane -
LANE: But dont mention church.
RORY: Ok, hold on a sec -
LANE: Unless hes into church.
[Lorelai comes into the living room again]
LORELAI: Hey, uh, now its too quiet.
RORY: Ill turn it up.
LORELAI: Thank you [starts to leave]
LANE: So what do you think?
LORELAI: [turning back] Who the hell is that anyways?
RORY: Claudine Longet.
LORELAI: The chick who shot the skier?
RORY: Uh, sure, why not.
LORELAI: Wow - renaissance woman [turns and leaves]
RORY: [to Lane] You want me to set you up with Todd?
LANE: Yes and I was thinking that you and Dean could come out with us so that its not that big of a deal.
LANE: You dont want to do it?
RORY: No I -
LANE: Thats ok, I understand - no big deal. Hey Grand Daddy new album used - I love a bargain.
RORY: I just really dont know this Todd guy.
LANE: I do.
RORY: Youve met him twice
LANE: But the 3rd times a charm
RORY: How do you know this guys right for you?
LANE: I know, Im telling you. Were talking soul mate here.
RORY: The last time you met you soul mate, you ran your fingers through his hair and ended up hiding at my house for the evening.
LANE: Well I still have my key.
LANE: Look, I made a mistake with Rich Bloomenfeld. Everybodys allowed one mistake. But Todd, Todd is different.
RORY: He is?
LANE: First of all his name is Todd - Different name different guy [Lorelai come back into living room]
LORELAI: Ok so, [turning off music] how important is this whole business school thing anyway? I mean, so what if I never run my own inn? I like my job, I like my house, I like my life. And I certainly dont want to be one of those people whos never satisfied with what they have you know? I mean some people dont have legs or arms. I have legs and arms. What more could I possibly want than legs and arms? I mean, I could take all the classes in the world, thats still not going to give me what I already have.
RORY: Legs and arms.
LORELAI: Yes. [pause] Am I sounding completely crazy?
RORY: Yes you are.
LORELAI: Wal-Mart is boring!
LORELAI: Aah! [leaves]
RORY: Yes, Yoko [they hug]
LORELAI: So [she comes and sits between the two and taps their legs] Whatcha doing?
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN
[Lorelai is sitting at front desk studying. Michel comes up to her and stares at her]
LORELAI: Yes Michel?
MICHEL: I apologize for any inconvenience I might be causing your future employment but your current one is experiencing a problem.
LORELAI: And once again I say 'Yes Michel?'
MICHEL: Are you sure you wouldnt like me to wait?
LORELAI: No Michel.
MICHEL: Because learning the eating patterns of the average Taco Bell consumer is a vital lesson that -
LORELAI: Michel. What do you want?
MICHEL: We are overbooked.
LORELAI: How are we overbooked?
MICHEL: Well there are more people here than there are rooms to put them in.
LORELAI: I dont understand this.
MICHEL: Well I cannot describe it any simpler than I already have.
LORELAI: Well where did the Ruckers come from?
MICHEL: Well judging from their clothing a town where high rubber fishing boots and spittoons would be considered formal wear.
LORELAI: Ok, put them in the Jefferson suite tonight, move them back to their previously booked room tomorrow and offer them dinner on the house for the inconvenience.
MICHEL: Very well.
LORELAI: Im gonna get some more coffee if you need me.
MICHEL: Ill try and manage while youre gone, though God knows it wont be easy.
LORELAI: (entering kitchen) Coffee?
SOOKIE: Necesito las hojas grandes.
LORELAI: Oh! Meringue.
SOOKIE: Yeah, I thought Id do a variation on a baked Alaska for dessert tonight.
LORELAI: What kind of variation?
SOOKIE: See I hadnt thought of that yet.
LORELAI: Maybe you could do them in the actual shape of Alaska.
LORELAI: Or you could do little baked Alaskas and Hawaiis
SOOKIE: Because they joined the union last.
JACKSON: Oh [coming in the door]
JACKSON: Sookie - hello.
JACKSON: I brought you um -
SOOKIE: [stuttering] Yeah, well great. Just put them down there.
[Lorelai watching the exchange]
JACKSON: Right. Oh, yes [puts carrots on the counter] Hows that?
SOOKIE: Thats great, thats just perfect. I really like them there.
JACKSON: Yeah they - they do look good there dont they?
SOOKIE: Yes they do.
JACKSON: Ok. Well I should - [turns to leave]
SOOKIE: Uh, squash.
SOOKIE: I need some.
JACKSON: Ok, tomorrow?
SOOKIE: Same time?
JACKSON: If thats good for you?
SOOKIE: It is, its perfect.
JACKSON: Ok then, I-Ill see you tomorrow with the pattypan.
JACKSON: Yes. [leaves]
[Sookie rolls her eyes]
LORELAI: Ok so...who walked in on who naked?
SOOKIE: Oh God this is horrible! He comes in and - horrible.
LORELAI: Whats going on between you two?
SOOKIE: I asked him if hed like to have dinner sometime.
LORELAI: I know - weeks ago.
SOOKIE: And he said yes.
LORELAI: Which is good.
SOOKIE: But since theres not definite plan or date attached, now the invitation is just out there floating in the universe.
LORELAI: So make a definite plan.
SOOKIE: I cant.
SOOKIE: Because what if he says no?
LORELAI: He already said yes.
SOOKIE: Yes to the amorphous, theoretical, 'Lets maybe sometime go out and do something not too specific' proposition. But dinner and a movie - its concrete. Its real, he might say no.
LORELAI: I doubt he will.
SOOKIE: Well why hasnt he asked me?
LORELAI: I dont know, maybe he thinks youve changed your mind since you asked.
SOOKIE: Well why would he think that?
LORELAI: Because you havent mentioned it again.
SOOKIE: But I mentioned it once, its his turn.
LORELAI: Alright, lets say it is his turn, you can spend a lot of time sitting around waiting for him to realize its his turn, or you can just run with the wolves and make it your turn again.
SOOKIE: I dont want it to be my turn again.
LORELAI: You just wanna let this opportunity pass?
SOOKIE: I wanna be the girl.
LORELAI: You are the girl. Thats why were having this very confusing conversation.
SOOKIE: You think I should ask him out?
LORELAI: On Sunday.
SOOKIE: Why Sunday?
LORELAI: Because thats your day off.
LORELAI: I think you should do it now before you lose your nerve.
SOOKIE: Well hes not back to his office yet.
LORELAI: Does he have a cell phone?
LORELAI: You know people buy cell phones for exactly this reason - so you could get a hold of them anytime you want.
SOOKIE: I thought people bought cell phones in case their cars broke down at night and they needed to call someone for help and theres psycho killers -
LORELAI: Call him.
SOOKIE: Call him?
LORELAI: Call him Sookie.
SOOKIE: Call him [giggles]
[They go over to the phone]
LORELAI: Mmm, she knows his number by heart.
SOOKIE: He is my produce guy.
LORELAI: Very convenient excuse.
SOOKIE: He - [into the phone] Oh Jackson? Its Sookie. [picks up a wooden spoon and plays with it in her hair] I was wondering if you could call me back when you get a chance, sooner rather than later, its not an emergency so dont freak out or anything. The carrots still look good. It seems like its almost a shame to eat them, sort of like you should put them in a vase or -
LORELAI: [whispers] Sookie, hang up. Hang up.
SOOKIE: Call me, bye. [giggles] Got his voice mail.
LORELAI: Ok good. It give you time to prepare what youre going to say. Maybe have a few suggestions ready of places to go.
SOOKIE: Date prep time.
SOOKIE: Ok good. Im good at that. Im good at prep. [picks up a pad of paper]
LORELAI: Sookie...spoon. [takes spoon away.]
CUT TO OUTSIDE STARS HOLLOW HIGH
[Rory sitting on a bench reading. Dean come out, sees her and goes and sits with her]
DEAN: Is there anything in there about me?
RORY: I dont know. You name wouldnt be Lithium would it?
DEAN: Arent you supposed to be in school?
RORY: We had a half day today - teacher conferences. So I thought Id come by and surprise you.
DEAN: Well you know how much I hate surprises.
RORY: Yes, Im very sorry.
[Dean kisses her]
DEAN: Thats for surprising me.
RORY: I have learned my lesson.
[Dean kisses her again. Rory stops him after a second]
RORY: I have to talk to you about something.
DEAN: Ok, I have to talk to you about something too. Come here [ kisses her again]
RORY: Ok stop.
DEAN: Sorry. [leans in to kiss her again]
RORY: No stay!
RORY: Because I really need to talk to you about something.
DEAN: [sighs] Alright.
RORY: Its about Todd.
DEAN: What about him?
RORY: What do you think of him?
DEAN: Hes my friend.
RORY: I know.
DEAN: So that would signify a positive impression.
RORY: Right. Ok. Good.
DEAN: Yes, can I kiss you now?
RORY: Im not done yet.
DEAN: Fine. Go ahead.
RORY: Well you know Lane.
DEAN: Yeah, I do.
RORY: She likes Todd.
RORY: And I think that they would really hit it off.
DEAN: You - you dont even know Todd.
RORY: No but you do. And you like him - you said so.
DEAN: I did.
RORY: Ok then. There you go.
DEAN: I would - I would really like to kiss you now.
RORY: Yeah so would I.
DEAN: Ok, good. We agree [leans in for a kiss while she leans back]
RORY: I think we should set them up.
DEAN: Todd and Lane?
RORY: Yeah. We could all go out together - like to a movie or something on Sunday.
DEAN: Rory -
RORY: It would be really casual - no big deal.
DEAN: I just -
DEAN: I mean, Im just not sure that I see them together.
RORY: You dont think Todd would like Lane?
DEAN: Im not sure.
RORY: Lane is great.
DEAN: Yeah, I know.
RORY: Shes my best friend.
DEAN: Yeah, I-I know that.
RORY: Todd should be so lucky to get a girl like her.
DEAN: I didnt mean -
RORY: I mean I cant believe that you dont think that shes good enough -
DEAN: [over Rory] No, no, no -
RORY: or I dont know pretty enough.
DEAN: I didnt say anything about her not being pretty enough -
RORY: Well you did -
DEAN: Let me finish. I just dont know if hell like her because I dont know what kind of girl he likes.
RORY: Well -
DEAN: But if you want to do this, then Ill talk to him.
RORY: You will?
RORY: And youll mention Sunday?
DEAN: I will mention Sunday.
RORY: Thank you.
DEAN: Youre welcome. So...was that it?
RORY: Yeah that was it.
DEAN: Then can we...
RORY: Kissing. Right, lets go.
CUT TO INN
[Lorelai still studying]
LORELAI: [slamming book] I give up.
MICHEL: Thats the spirit.
LORELAI: I cant remember any of this crap.
MICHEL: Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you were to park.
LORELAI: Youre baiting me arent you?
MICHEL: No, I seriously have no faith in your aptitude.
SOOKIE: [rushing up to desk] He called! He called!
SOOKIE: Well, I did what you said. I had it all worked out and I asked him if hed like to go to dinner at Chez Fleur on Sunday.
LORELAI: Chez Fleur very nice.
SOOKIE: Hm, thank you. He said he would love to.
LORELAI: Oh great!
SOOKIE: He said he would love to but his cousins in town and hes staying with him for the week.
LORELAI: Oh, well then just make it next week.
SOOKIE: Yes, see that wouldve been a good option had I thought of it when I was on the phone, but instead - I came up with another option.
LORELAI: Which is?
SOOKIE: That we double date with his cousin Rune and you.
SOOKIE: Yes, ok, not as good as your option I agree. But it seemed pretty good at the time - though I wasnt standing here watching you make that face.
LORELAI: Sookie no. I hate blind dates.
SOOKIE: I know, but this isnt a blind date. This is you keeping his cousin company while I have a date with Jackson.
LORELAI: Oh God.
SOOKIE: Lorelai please. Ill be your best friend.
LORELAI: You are my best friend.
SOOKIE: And youre mine.
LORELAI: I know I am.
SOOKIE: So what are best friends for?
LORELAI: Yes, Ill go.
SOOKIE: [squeals] Thank you, thank you, thank you. You will not regret this.
LORELAI: Pick another phrase.
SOOKIE: You will not have to pay
LORELAI: Much better [sighs] Oh shut up [ to Michel whos smiling. Opens up book again]
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
LORELAI: Diva Glam.
RORY: Ive got it.
LORELAI: Bring it up. [to Sookie] Hold still.
SOOKIE: Not too much.
LORELAI: No - just enough to say hey sailor
SOOKIE: My stomach doesnt feel so great. I think Ive got the flu.
LORELAI: I think youre nervous.
[Rory comes into room]
LORELAI: Thank you.
RORY: I need the sparkly hair clips
LORELAI: Ok, Ill find them in a minute.
RORY: [to Sookie] You look pretty.
LORELAI: I do?
RORY: Uh huh. [leaves]
SOOKIE: Oh thank you. [to Lorelai] I should cancel.
LORELAI: Ok, lets do you lips first.
SOOKIE: What if Im making an idiot out of myself.
LORELAI: By going out on a date?
SOOKIE: With my produce guy.
LORELAI: You like him.
SOOKIE: But what if tonight is a disaster and them he wont sell to me anymore.
LORELAI: Oh my God, youre right.
SOOKIE: Yes, see!
LORELAI: And since all the produce in the entire world is in his possession and all the produce that will be grown in the future will be in his possession, then we will never again be able to get any produce and all our vegetarian clients will die.
SOOKIE: Im scared.
LORELAI: I know.
SOOKIE: I like him.
LORELAI: He likes you.
SOOKIE: How do you know hes not being polite?
SOOKIE: No I mean it. [gets up and paces] Its like I cornered him and he felt trapped and he had to say yes.
LORELAI: He did not have to say yes.
SOOKIE: Oh my God. Technically I am his employer.
SOOKIE: I am, I buy his wares. His livelihood depends on my.
SOOKIE: Oh! Im a sexual harasser
LORELAI: Well then you need some false eyelashes.
SOOKIE: This isnt funny. I am now desperate, lonely and a criminal.
LORELAI: Ok, stop talking.
SOOKIE: But -
LORELAI: No you have exhausted all your talking rights by being crazy. Sit down and listen.
LORELAI: Tonight is a good thing. Whether you find out that youre madly in love you or youre not meant for each other, its still a good thing. And Ill be right there. And have I done a gorgeous job on your face or what? Ooh, Ill be right back [picking up clips]
CUT TO RORYS ROOM
[Rory and Lane getting ready]
LANE: Youre sure you dont mind?
RORY: Whats mine is yours.
LANE: I owe you forever.
RORY: Good to know.
LANE: Which one do you think Todd would like better? [holding up two jackets]
RORY: I dont know Todd.
LANE: I think the rhinestones.
RORY: Rhinestones it is. So what did you tell your mom?
LANE: I told her that I was going to spend the evening here with you guys.
RORY: What if she calls?
LANE: Well I mentioned that we might go and rent some videos or go out to eat which could explain any absence during her call.
RORY: Very thorough.
LANE: With my mom, you can leave nothing to chance. Especially when there is a non-korean involved who as far as I know has no medical aspirations.
LORELAI: [coming into room] Hey, sparkly clips.
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: Ooh, I like the rhinestones. [leaves]
RORY: And for a touch of glamour. [putting them in Lanes hair]
LANE: So what are you going to tell Lorelai?
RORY: I dont know.
LANE: She wouldnt tell my mom would she?
RORY: I dont know if shed feel good lying to another mother. Its like this weird code thing with her.
LANE: So we dont tell her?
RORY: Im not liking that option either.
LANE: No. Well tell her that were meeting Dean for a movie, and then we go to the movie and then somebody who just happens to be a friend of Deans, just happens to be there, for the same movie and so we figure that it would be completely rude for us to not ask said person to come sit with us.
RORY: I say to hell with governor, you run directly for president.
LANE: Its not that bad.
RORY: Lets just not think about it, ok?
LANE: I really appreciate this.
RORY: I know.
LANE: How do I look?
RORY: You look too good for him.
LANE: Just what I was going for. [giggles and they leave the room]
RORY: Were going [to Lorelai]
LORELAI: Oh, where?
LANE: Were going to a movie with Dean.
LORELAI: Nothing dirty, violent or French please
RORY: Are you going to be home late?
LORELAI: Well theres a bit of doubt as to whether or not well ever actually get out of the house at all tonight. Sookie please!
SOOKIE: Ok! Im here, Im down [coming down the stairs]
LORELAI: Wow! Hey, wheres your coat?
SOOKIE: Its upstairs.
LORELAI: Arent you gonna need it?
SOOKIE: Oh well, it got caught around the thing, and then when I twisted around to get loose, and then the choking started. Im free now.
LORELAI: Ok. Ill get you something to wear.
SOOKIE: I would appreciate that.
SOOKIE: Bye kittens [girls leave]
LORELAI: Bye girls.
LORELAI: Huh? [with a blue shawl in hand]
SOOKIE: Oh this is beautiful.
LORELAI: It goes with the theme of the evening.
SOOKIE: This is a really nice thing youre doing for me.
LORELAI: Anytime Sookie.
SOOKIE: Last looks [Does a turn while Lorelai claps]
[knock on the door]
LORELAI: Ill get it.
JACKSON: Hi Lorelai, sorry were late.
LORELAI: Oh no problem. Just adds a little more primping time for the ladies.
SOOKIE: Hi Jackson
JACKSON: Sookie, hi
LORELAI: Ok, uh do you guys wanna come in for a minute?
JACKSON: Oh sure. [they enter] Oh, uh Lorelai, this is my cousin Rune, Rune this is Lorelai.
LORELAI: Hi, its very nice to meet you [extends hand but Rune doesnt take it]
RUNE: Can I talk to you a minute?
JACKSON: Whats the matter?
RUNE: I need a minute alone, please?
JACKSON: Excuse us. [Rune takes Jackson outside]
JACKSON: What are you doing?
RUNE: Thats Lorelai?
RUNE: Did you see how tall she is?
JACKSON: No, I havent noticed actually.
RUNE: How could you not notice, shes like a basketball player.
JACKSON: Rune, shes a very nice lady!
RUNE: You know I cannot go out with anyone that tall. I mean God! I cant believe you set me up with that. What, was the bearded lady busy tonight or something?
[Sookie and Lorelai, who are listening, exchange a look]
JACKSON: Its just one night, a little dinner.
RUNE: When she came to the door it never crossed my mind that that was who I had to spend the evening with. I thought it was her East German maid or something.
JACKSON: Youre being ridiculous, shes not that tall!
RUNE: Shes tall enough!
JACKSON: Would you keep it down, shes gonna hear you!
RUNE: With those big ears I bet she can.
JACKSON: Hey Rune, you come into town completely unannounced, you eat all my food, you crash on my couch and I dont say a thing. The least you could do is go out for one night - make some conversation, be pleasant, who knows, maybe youll enjoy it!
RUNE: But why cant we go out - just to the two of us.
JACKSON: Rune, please.
RUNE: [sighs] Ok.
JACKSON: Thank you [Both go back to the front door.] Ok, I think we should be going.
SOOKIE: Yes that sounds good.
[Lorelai looks at Rune, who turns away. She closes the door behind her.]
CUT TO CHEZ FLEUR
[All sitting in silence looking at the menu. Rune is staring at Lorelai, she forces a smile]
RUNE: What size shoe do you wear?
LORELAI: Uh, size 9.
RUNE: 9? Wow.
SOOKIE: I wonder if the mussels are fresh?
LORELAI: Um, well, it does say fresh mussels on the menu.
SOOKIE: Yes, but a lot of times they say fresh and theyre not, theyre frozen but theyre just called fresh because they were fresh when they were frozen. [Jackson nodding and smiling at her] Plus if theyre not stored with the correct drainage they just sit around in their own excretions, with is kind of like sitting around in your own -
LORELAI: Sookie, I beg of you, do not order the fresh mussels.
SOOKIE: But if theyre fresh -
LORELAI: Even if theyre fresh.
JACKSON: I wonder where they get their carrots from The carrot crop this year has been really mealy.
LORELAI: [sighs] So...Rune...
LORELAI: What is that - Rune ?
RUNE: What do you mean?
LORELAI: I mean, where did Rune come from?
RUNE: Im from out of town, I thought Jackson told you?
LORELAI: He did tell me, I meant the name Rune. You just dont meet a lot of Runes, right? [giggles a bit]
RUNE: It was my dads name.
LORELAI: Oh, whered he get it?
RUNE: [annoyed] I dont know, from his parents I guess.
LORELAI: Ok, done with that topic [waiter approaches] Oh the waiter, thanks the Lord.
WAITER: What can I get you this evening?
SOOKIE: Id like to ask about the mussels, are they fresh?
WAITER: Yes they are.
JACKSON: And where exactly are your carrots from?
WAITER: Well -
RUNE: Is there anything on this menu that isnt French?
LORELAI: Ill just have a martini and keepem coming. [Waiter leaves] Thanks.
[Table goes back to sitting in silence]
CUT TO OUTSIDE BOOKSTORE
[Rory and Dean are in line. Shes looking at Lane and Todd in line behind them.]
DEAN: What are you doing?
DEAN: Theyre fine.
RORY: I am not looking at them. Im looking at the world around me.
DEAN: The world is fine too.
RORY: I just want to make sure theyre having fun.
DEAN: Theyre having fun.
RORY: How do you know?
DEAN: Theyre not in prison or in some sort of medieval torture chamber.
RORY: Well when you measure it that way -
[Pan to Lane and Todd]
LANE: And the amazing thing is, all these girls are screaming and none of them are getting the joke. Hes playing the character of a rock star. I mean Beck is a genius and all these stupid girls are screaming at him just because theyre buying into the rock star image. I love Beck. I understand Beck. [looks at Todd nervously who doesnt say anything] And the Foo Fighters - Gods. I mean, have you heard the acoustic version of Everlong? I cant even talk about it you know? Hey, you know who Ive really gotten into lately? The velvet underground. Oh and Nico - shes amazing - Depressing scary German chick. I have the cd if you wanna borrow it sometime. Wh-what kind of music do you like?
TODD: I dont know - whatever.
LANE: The band on your shirt.
TODD: Oh. Huh, pretty cool picture.
LANE: You dont know whats on your shirt?
TODD: Its my sisters.
[Rory looks over her shoulder intently. Lane gives her a forced smile. Dean turns Rorys face forward.]
LANE: Well what about books? Do you like books?
TODD: Mmm. [shrugging]
LANE: Magazines? [Todds silent] What about school? What are you majoring in?
TODD: I was thinking about gym.
TODD: If I major in gym, I only have to take 4 classes my senior year.
LANE: Oh, cool
[Pan to Rory and Dean]
DEAN: We work on our bikes together. Hes got the good tools.
CUT TO CHEZ FLEUR
SOOKIE: [giggling] It was so funny. Oh God! Do you remember?
LORELAI: I remember.
SOOKIE: What was Rory, eight?
LORELAI: I believe she was.
SOOKIE: Oh god, that mud pie fiasco haunted me for a year! I mean, hers looked just like mine. Of course I used you know, homemade chocolate cookies, bittersweet ganache and she used well, mud. You know, but they did look damn similar. Oh.
[Rune is cutting the heads off of swans with his knife]
LORELAI: So, uh, Sookies been experimenting with, um, different forms of baking ever since Ive known her.
JACKSON: Oh, well, thats very interesting.
SOOKIE: Yeah. Hey Lorelai, remember when I decided to teach you how to make strawberry tarts [Jackson looks bored] and the entire kitchen was stained red and I had to repaint that one wall red just to make it look normal? Do you remember? Wasnt it?
LORELAI: Mmm, it was. Sookie, lets go powder our noses.
RUNE: Youll need a lot of powder.
LORELAI: Well be right back. Come on hon.
SOOKIE: Oh, ok.
[They get up and leave. Jackson give Rune a what are you doing? look]
LORELAI: Honey, no matter how many beers you buy me tonight, Im not the one going home with you, so I would concentrate on the one who might.
LORELAI: You havent said a word to Jackson all night.
SOOKIE: I havent have I?
SOOKIE: I know. Im just - Oh, Im so nervous.
LORELAI: Youre nervous? You dont have some guy staring at you like hes Cher and youre the kid from Mask.
SOOKIE: I can - I cant think of anything to say.
LORELAI: To Jackson?
SOOKIE: Yes, to Jackson.
LORELAI: Yes, cause to me tonight theres been no off button.
SOOKIE: I-I just - ugh! This place is too fancy, my hair is too tight and this dress is all wrong. And he looks really good doesnt he?
LORELAI: Yes he does.
SOOKIE: Im being crazy, I know Im being crazy.
LORELAI: No. Youre just putting too much pressure on this whole evening. Look, in five seconds I can take your hair down, we can go some place more casual and personally I think youre wrong about the dress.
LORELAI: Yes. Come on. Lets got to Lukes. You know, have burgers, talk, relax - no pressure, no stress, unless I wind up stepping on Rune which might be fun.
SOOKIE: That would be great.
LORELAI: Ok, come on.
CUT TO BOOKSTORE
[Lane and Todd are in a theater-like seating watching the movie]
LANE: Ok, what about movies, you must have a favorite movie.
TODD: Yes I do!
LANE: Great! What is it?
LANE: Beethoven? The one with the dog?
TODD: Theres this scene where this little dog is running around with a huge cabbage in its mouth. Oh man, its classic! I shot my Dr. Pepper right outta my nose! I swear!
[Lane forces another smile]
CUT TO LUKES
[The four enter]
RUNE: [sniffs] Ew.
LORELAI: Welcome to Lukes.
JACKSON: Well this is much better.
SOOKIE: It is, isnt it?
LORELAI: Grab a seat, Ill get some menus
LORELAI: Hey, four menus, a coffee and an anvil please.
LUKE: Whats the anvil for?
LORELAI: For Rune?
LUKE: Whats a Rune.
LORELAI: Please not that question again.
LUKE: Ok. [gets coffee. Lorelai sighs and looks at them sitting in silence] Here you go.
LORELAI: Mind if I hang out here a sec?
LUKE: Why? Whats going on over there?
LORELAI: Sookie and Jackson are on their first date.
LUKE: Seems to be going well.
LORELAI: I think Id wear blue to the wedding.
LUKE: Whos the other guy?
LORELAI: Thats Jacksons cousin. Hes my date!
LUKE: Lucky girl!
LORELAI: Yes, I think so. He is, believe it or not, even less thrilled with the match up than I am.
LUKE: Youre kidding, why?
LORELAI: Im too tall.
LUKE: [laughs] Get out.
LORELAI: Im serious.
LUKE: Doesnt he understand how great that is? You can get all the stuff from the top shelf.
LORELAI: Exactly. That is exactly what I bring to a relationship. Explain that to him will you. [takes a sip of coffee] Mmm. Luke, that is an exceptionally good batch of coffee.
LUKE: I added a little nutmeg.
LORELAI: Thats very Richard Simmons of you.
LUKE: Well what can I say. Chicks dig a man with a feminine side.
RUNE: Ok [standing up] Im really bored.
JACKSON: Sit down, were about ready to order.
RUNE: I dont wanna order, I dont wanna eat here. I wanna go.
RUNE: Jackson...Look I came out with you tonight under the impression that Id have fun. First I get stuck with her, then I get dragged to a French restaurant, then I get dragged out of a French restaurant. God knows where I am now.
LORELAI: Oh, youre at Lukes.
RUNE: Ive been very patient Jackson. Sunday nights almost over, I wanna go bowling.
JACKSON: Well I -
RUNE: And Id like you to go bowling with me.
JACKSON: Oh...well [looking at Sookie whos looking at her hands] I guess we should...[starts to stand]
SOOKIE: Dont go!
SOOKIE: Yes. Stay here. We havent really even started our date yet.
JACKSON: No we havent. Sorry Rune, youre on your own tonight.
RUNE: Fine, Ill just see you at home then - maybe [leaves]
LORELAI: Bye Loon! [looks over at the two] Finally.
LUKE: I guess youll only need three menus now.
LORELAI: Hey, why dont you make up three fabulous cheeseburgers and send two over there. Ill have mine here.
LUKE: First I gotta watch a man walk out on you, then I have to watch you eat alone. Nope. Too pathetic.
LORELAI: Im not eating alone. Youre here.
LUKE: Im working.
LORELAI: Yeah but after three cheeseburgers youre done, unless youre expecting Elijah to stop by.
LUKE: Ok. Fine. [pulls out a deck of cards] 5-card draw.
LORELAI: Oh! Youre on.
[Luke deals as Lorelai watches intently]
LORELAI: Mm-hm. Mm-hm [looks at her cards] Uh...huh. Give me four. [looks at them again] Aah, no four more.
LUKE: You cant have four more, those are the four I dealt you.
LORELAI: Well these dont help me and I have vowed to discard anything negative in my life - first Rune and now these four cards.
LUKE: Whatever you say [giving her another 4]
LORELAI: Ooh, much better, thank you.
LUKE: Rune knew when to run away.
[Sookie and Jackson are giggling]
LORELAI: God thats nice.
LORELAI: The whole first date, beginning of the relationship glow - everything is new and exciting.
LUKE: Every joke is hilarious.
LORELAI: Every little touch is incredible [touching Lukes arm]
LORELAI: God thats a good feeling.
LUKE: It is at that.
LORELAI: I miss that.
LUKE: Youll have it again.
LORELAI: Mmm...I guess.
[Mrs Kim sees Lorelai through the window]
LUKE: You know, maybe sometime we could...
MRS. KIM: Where are the girls?
MRS. KIM: Lane said shes with you and Rory.
LORELAI: W - slow down.
MRS. KIM: I call - no answer, I think they are at the video store, I call again - no answer. I call a 3rd time - no answer!
LORELAI: You had a lot of time on your hands tonight.
MRS. KIM: I have to know where girls are.
LORELAI: They said they were going to a movie.
MRS. KIM: With who?
LORELAI: They were going to meet Dean.
MRS. KIM: A boy? [with disgust] You let them go with a boy?
LORELAI: Mrs. Kim, Dean is Rorys boyfriend.
MRS. KIM: Just because you let your daughter run around with boys doesnt mean I let mine.
LORELAI: I thought you knew.
MRS. KIM: I didnt know! They could be anywhere, they could be doing anything. Smoking, or drinking or buying drugs!
LORELAI: Theyre at the movies. Theres no drugs there. They dont even have the real red vines.
MRS. KIM: I need to find them [leaves]
LORELAI: Im coming with [leaves too]
CUT TO OUTSIDE BOOKSTORE
TODD: Good flick, good flick.
DEAN: Yeah not bad.
RORY: Lane, whatd you think?
LANE: Uh, I think its really late and I should be getting home.
LANE: Yeah but its been fun.
TODD: Oh come on. Lets go get some ice cream or something - eat it really fast, get that freezy brain thing going. Its cool.
LANE: So tempting and yet -
MRS. KIM: LANE KIM!!! [shouting in Korean]
LANE: My mom!
RORY: My mom!
TODD: Two moms, thats gotta be bad.
LANE: Mama, I was just about -
MRS. KIM: [shouting in Korean]
RORY: Mom, I can -
LORELAI: So not the time Rory.
MRS. KIM: You lied to me.
LANE: Im sorry.
MRS. KIM: Get home right now! [leave]
TODD: Whoa, rough family.
DEAN: Whats going on?
LORELAI: Oh bits of information were left out of the mom packets tonight.
RORY: Im sorry.
LORELAI: Ok. Mother/daughter #2 are leaving now. Say bye Rory.
RORY: [to Dean] Bye.
DEAN: Ill, uh call you later.
DEAN: Ill call you tomorrow.
LORELAI: Yeah, bye Dean.
TODD: Thats Rorys mom? Shes a babe man!
LORELAI: [walking away] And what were you thinking?
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: You lied to me - me! What is that nonsense all about?
RORY: I shouldnt have done it. I know I shouldnt have done it.
LORELAI: Damn right you shouldnt have done it.
RORY: But Lane really wanted to go out with Todd, and of course she could tell her mother so I didnt tell you so you wouldnt have to lie for us.
LORELAI: You lied to me so I wouldnt have to lie to Mrs. Kim?
LORELAI: Oh my God you really are my daughter.
RORY: Im sorry.
LORELAI: I have to know where you are at all times, especially when you have my shoes on.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: This whole trust thing only works if it goes both ways kid.
RORY: I hated doing it.
RORY: Would you have?
RORY: Lied for us?
LORELAI: To Mrs. Kim?
LORELAI: Because that ladys scary.
LORELAI: I cant lie to another mother. Thats breaking the code.
RORY: So then what were we supposed to do tonight?
LORELAI: Look, I know that Mrs. Kim and Robert Duvall in The Great Santini share a striking resemblance, but she is Lanes mom. She has the right to tell Lane she cant do something, you have to respect that and I really have to respect that.
RORY: So we were in a no-win situation tonight.
LORELAI: Sorry. [pause] Hey, you know the one good thing we all learned from this?
LORELAI: [smiling] That Im a babe.
CUT TO OUTSIDE LANES HOUSE.
[Rory climbed a tree to get to Lanes bedroom window. Knocks.]
RORY: Whats up Rapunzel?
LANE: Dont take this the wrong way, but in all my various fantasies about who might appear at this window, you never actually made the list.
RORY: So how are you? I havent heard from you in days.
LANE: Im ok, I guess.
RORY: I was afraid to call.
LANE: I think thats best for now.
RORY: Your moms really mad huh?
LANE: The words convent and Siberia were both used several times and at least once as a combo.
RORY: Im really sorry Lane.
LANE: Its not your fault.
RORY: I shouldnt have arranged it. I shouldve -
LANE: You arranged it because I asked you to and Im really glad you did.
RORY: You are?
LANE: If you hadnt set me up with Todd, then I would still be in love with him.
RORY: Not the guy for you huh?
LANE: Not the guy for anybody who can read, write, talk or function on a basic human level.
RORY: Im sorry.
LANE: I was so bored that night I couldnt see straight. Ive been on Korean meditation weekends that have had more laughs.
RORY: He liked you though, Dean told me.
LANE: I know, he called here.
RORY: Youre kidding.
LANE: I pretended to be my mother and wouldnt allow me to speak to him. Is that mean?
RORY: [giggles] I think hell survive. He and Dean went muffler shopping today.
LANE: Thats nice.
RORY: So how long before you can get out?
LANE: I dont know. Right now I have to be in the house at all times except for school and church.
RORY: She didnt give you any time frame at all?
RORY: I miss you.
LANE: I miss you too.
RORY: Is there anything I can do?
LANE: Yeah, dont tell anyone I went out with Todd ok?
RORY: [smiling] Promise
[They hear a noise]
LANE: I gotta go.
CUT TO INSIDE KIM HOUSEHOLD
MRS. KIM: [angrily]You break you buy!
MAN: But it was sticking out in the aisle.
MRS. KIM: You break you buy! [Lorelai comes in.]
MAN But I didnt put it in the aisle.
MRS. KIM: You have eyes yes?
MAN: Yes I have eyes?
MRS. KIM: These eyes work?
MAN Yes these eyes work.
MRS. KIM: They can make out shape, sizes and colors?
MAN: Yes they can do all that, but -
MRS. KIM: Eyes work! They see lamp in aisle, send message to brain. Lamp in aisle - move You move. You dont break lamp.
MAN: I -
MRS. KIM: You have no eyes, not my problem, that is between you and them. You break you buy
[Man give in and give her some money]
MRS. KIM: [all smiles and sweetly] We appreciate your business. [to Lorelai] Oh, hello
LORELAI: Hi. So I was wondering if I could maybe talk to you for a minute.
MRS. KIM: Im working.
LORELAI: Right, well this is gonna be so quick youll be amazed.
MRS. KIM: Fine, come. [goes into another room]
LORELAI: Look, Im really sorry about what happened the other night, uh Rorys never lied to me like that before.
MRS. KIM: That you know of.
LORELAI: Uh, no, Im pretty sure that was the first time and it definitely was the last.
MRS. KIM: Fine.
LORELAI: Uh, so I just didnt want you to feel that you couldnt send Lane over to our house anymore, um, because you can. Believe me, those girls go nowhere without me knowing about it. In fact I was thinking of having some house arrest ankle bracelets made you know - maybe cute ones with leopard print or zebra stripes, maybe a little glitter design...
MRS. KIM: Lane wont be coming over, she will stay in our house.
LORELAI: Well, right. I was talking about later. I mean, shes not going to be grounded forever is she?
MRS. KIM: Lane lied to me and she must be punished.
LORELAI: I totally agree. But Lane is a really good kid. I dont think Ive ever met a kit who respects her parents more than Lane respects you.
MRS. KIM: Lying is not showing respect.
LORELAI: Uh, shes 16. She had a crush on a boy.
MRS. KIM: Lane is not allowed to date boys unless we have approved them. She knows that, she knows our rules and she broke them. That is unacceptable.
LORELAI: Ok, yes, youre right. But teenagers sometimes slip up.
MRS. KIM: I dont care what teenagers do, I care what Lane does.
LORELAI: You know, it doesnt always work to just lock a kid up and throw away the key.
MRS. KIM: I didnt throw away the key, its in the kitchen.
LORELAI: [taken aback] Ok, well, I was talking symbolically...but alright, Im with you now. Look when I was a teenager, my parents tried to keep me locked up. They tried to force me to become what they had in mind, and now Im not talking exactly about Lane here, but in my case, it really didnt work.
MRS. KIM: You blame your parents for getting pregnant.
LORELAI: No, I just think sometimes if Id had a little more space or someone to listen to me, things might have turned out different. Now I got lucky, because having Rory - totally the best thing that could have happened. But lets be honest, I certainly dont want Rory to turn out like me.
MRS. KIM: I dont want Lane to turn out like you either.
LORELAI: Now I believe thats the first thing that you and I have ever agreed on.
MRS. KIM: I just want Lane to be safe.
LORELAI: I just want Rory to be safe. So, Im gonna go now. Hey, I think you are doing a great job with Lane. Shes a really great kid. I just wanted to put my two cents in because thats what I do, so. Bye.
[walks out of room and breaks a vase on the way out]
LORELAI: I know, you break you buy. I heard earlier. Thats $35 right?
CUT TO LUKES
[Lorelai and Rory enter]
RORY: An A- - Im very impressed.
LORELAI: And annoying boy behind me?
LORELAI: I know, its all very exciting. Ooh, hey did I tell you that Sookie and Jackson have another date tonight.
RORY: What is that the third one this week?
RORY: Thats so great.
LORELAI: I know it is. Of course if she tells me the story of how Jackson cultivates his own mealworms to help fertilize his plants one more time, Im going to Romeo and Juliet them both.
RORY: Its sweet.
RORY: Gross, but sweet.
[Rorys pager goes off]
LORELAI: Hey, you know the rules. No pages before french fries.
RORY: Oh my God, its Lane!
LORELAI: Oh youre kidding.
RORY: Give me your cell phone quick.
LORELAI: Where are you going? I wanna hear.
RORY: Because Luke hates cell phones.
RORY: I do not want to incur the wrath of Luke.
LORELAI: Why not its fun.
RORY: Ill be back.
LORELAI: Goody-goody. [Rory leaves]
[Outside Rory dials]
LANE: Im standing in the yard! Im standing in the yard!
RORY: Oh my God, she let you out!
LANE: I can go as far as the sign.
RORY: Thats so great!
[Pan to inside]
LUKE: I havent seen you since the other night. Everything turn out ok?
LORELAI: Oh yeah, fine. The dating world of 16 year olds - very exciting stuff.
LUKE: I bet. [pause] Oh, uh coffee?
LORELAI: Do you have to ask?
LORELAI: You know, I had a good time the other night - with the cards.
LUKE: Oh yeah, yeah - me too.
LUKE: Yeah, if fact you rushed out of here before I had a chance to -
LORELAI: A chance to?
LUKE: Kick your ass in poker.
LORELAI: [laughs] You wish.
LORELAI: Two and fries.
LUKE: Maybe we could do it again sometime.
LORELAI: Oh yeah, well, I-I would like that.
[Rory rushes in]
LORELAI: Oh where ya going?
RORY: Lanes allowed outside for 15 minutes. Im gonna go over and stand across the street and yell at her. [ rushes to the door]
LORELAI: Do you still want you burger?
RORY: Ill be back [ closing door]
LORELAI: Yell hi for me.
[Looks at Luke, then drinks her coffee.]