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1.12 - Double Date (12)
This transcript is from the collection found at http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/gilmoregirls.

written by Amy Sherman-Palladino
directed by Lev L. Spiro
transcript by Vanessa


[alarm rings]

RORY: Mom!

[Lorelai comes into the kitchen, takes the coffee pot off the maker while Rory puts her coffee cup in it’s place to catch the coffee that’s still in the process of being made. Rory puts two pop tarts in the toaster, takes her coffee cup from the coffee maker while Lorelai replaces it with the pot. Lorelai puts the pop tarts on a paper towel while Rory picks up her school bag. Lorelai hands Rory a pop tart and with coffee and pop tart in hand, tries to tie her shirt. Rory hands her her coffee, puts the tart in her mouth and ties it for Lorelai. Lorelai takes the clip out of Rory’s hair, gives her a 'what were you thinking' look and tosses it aside. Rory takes her coffee back and they both leave.]


[Rory and Lane are sitting on the couch]

RORY: Wow, you went new-cd crazy! [dumping a bag full of cd’s on the coffee table]

LANE: They just had an amazing selection today.

RORY: The best of Blondie...Kraftwerk...Young Marble Giants...Yoko Ono - really?

LANE: A very misunderstood artist and the Beattles would’ve broken up anyways.

RORY: Have you shared this theory with anyone?

LANE: I know it, Yoko knows it, Sean knows it. Julian’s still in denial but what can you do?

RORY: Ok, I must listen to anyone named Claudine Longet [puts cd in player]

LANE: Rory...

RORY: Yes Lane?

LANE: I have a favor to ask you.

RORY: Uh huh?

LANE: Well you know Dean?

RORY: My boyfriend?

LANE: Yes.

RORY: Yes I do.

LANE: Ok...well remember I was telling you about his friend Todd?

RORY: Todd. Yes.

LANE: Have you met him?


LANE: Well he’s cool.

RORY: Good.

LANE: Really cool.

RORY: Good again.

LANE: Really, really cool.

RORY: Good still holds.

LANE: So cool in fact that it brings me to the next question [Lorelai comes into living room]

LORELAI: Hey. I’m studying in there...

RORY: I know.

LORELAI: Yeah. I have like 6,000 pages of case studies to memorize and this whole big test on the Wal-Mart phenomena coming up on Friday and because I have a life and a job and business school’s not the only thing I have to concentrate on I’m behind, and I’ll probably fail and then that little 18 year old annoying knat who sits behind me will get another ‘A’ and make that ‘ I’m smart you’re dumb’ fact to me for the rest of the week and I’ll be very upset and will possibly cry.

RORY: The music’s too loud.


RORY: Got it.

LORELAI: Thank you [Lorelai turns and goes back into the kitchen as Rory turns down the volume.]

LANE: So anyhow, I was wondering if you could talk to Dean about maybe talking to Todd about me.

RORY: I guess.

LANE: And then maybe you could ask Dean to ask him out - for me.

RORY: Good, cause I don’t think Dean would want to go out with Todd. Might screw up their friendship.

LANE: And then I was thinking that this date could maybe happen this weekend.

RORY: Huh.

LANE: Sunday preferably.

RORY: Well -

LANE: After church.

RORY: Lane -

LANE: But don’t mention church.

RORY: Ok, hold on a sec -

LANE: Unless he’s into church.

[Lorelai comes into the living room again]

LORELAI: Hey, uh, now it’s too quiet.

RORY: I’ll turn it up.

LORELAI: Thank you [starts to leave]


LANE: So what do you think?

LORELAI: [turning back] Who the hell is that anyways?

RORY: Claudine Longet.

LORELAI: The chick who shot the skier?

RORY: Uh, sure, why not.

LORELAI: Wow - renaissance woman [turns and leaves]

RORY: [to Lane] You want me to set you up with Todd?

LANE: Yes and I was thinking that you and Dean could come out with us so that it’s not that big of a deal.


LANE: You don’t want to do it?

RORY: No I -

LANE: That’s ok, I understand - no big deal. Hey Grand Daddy new album used - I love a bargain.

RORY: I just really don’t know this Todd guy.

LANE: I do.

RORY: You’ve met him twice

LANE: But the 3rd time’s a charm

RORY: How do you know this guy’s right for you?

LANE: I know, I’m telling you. We’re talking soul mate here.

RORY: The last time you met you soul mate, you ran your fingers through his hair and ended up hiding at my house for the evening.

LANE: Well I still have my key.

RORY: Lane?

LANE: Look, I made a mistake with Rich Bloomenfeld. Everybody’s allowed one mistake. But Todd, Todd is different.

RORY: He is?

LANE: First of all his name is Todd - Different name different guy [Lorelai come back into living room]

LORELAI: Ok so, [turning off music] how important is this whole business school thing anyway? I mean, so what if I never run my own inn? I like my job, I like my house, I like my life. And I certainly don’t want to be one of those people who’s never satisfied with what they have you know? I mean some people don’t have legs or arms. I have legs and arms. What more could I possibly want than legs and arms? I mean, I could take all the classes in the world, that’s still not going to give me what I already have.

RORY: Legs and arms.

LORELAI: Yes. [pause] Am I sounding completely crazy?

RORY: Yes you are.

LORELAI: Wal-Mart is boring!

RORY: Study!

LORELAI: Aah! [leaves]



LANE: Rory?


LANE: Really?

RORY: Yes, Yoko [they hug]

LORELAI: So [she comes and sits between the two and taps their legs] Whatcha doing?


[Lorelai is sitting at front desk studying. Michel comes up to her and stares at her]

LORELAI: Yes Michel?

MICHEL: I apologize for any inconvenience I might be causing your future employment but your current one is experiencing a problem.

LORELAI: And once again I say 'Yes Michel?'

MICHEL: Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to wait?

LORELAI: No Michel.

MICHEL: Because learning the eating patterns of the average Taco Bell consumer is a vital lesson that -

LORELAI: Michel. What do you want?

MICHEL: We are overbooked.

LORELAI: How are we overbooked?

MICHEL: Well there are more people here than there are rooms to put them in.

LORELAI: I don’t understand this.

MICHEL: Well I cannot describe it any simpler than I already have.

LORELAI: Well where did the Rucker’s come from?

MICHEL: Well judging from their clothing a town where high rubber fishing boots and spittoons would be considered formal wear.

LORELAI: Ok, put them in the Jefferson suite tonight, move them back to their previously booked room tomorrow and offer them dinner on the house for the inconvenience.

MICHEL: Very well.

LORELAI: I’m gonna get some more coffee if you need me.

MICHEL: I’ll try and manage while you’re gone, though God knows it won’t be easy.

LORELAI: (entering kitchen) Coffee?



SOOKIE: Necesito las hojas grandes.

LORELAI: Oh! Meringue.

SOOKIE: Yeah, I thought I’d do a variation on a baked Alaska for dessert tonight.

LORELAI: What kind of variation?

SOOKIE: See I hadn’t thought of that yet.

LORELAI: Maybe you could do them in the actual shape of Alaska.

SOOKIE: Interesting.

LORELAI: Or you could do little baked Alaskas and Hawaiis

SOOKIE: Because they joined the union last.

LORELAI: Exactly.

[Sookie giggles]

JACKSON: Oh [coming in the door]

SOOKIE: Jackson.

JACKSON: Sookie - hello.

SOOKIE: Hello.


JACKSON: I brought you um -

SOOKIE: [stuttering] Yeah, well great. Just put them down there.

[Lorelai watching the exchange]

JACKSON: Right. Oh, yes [puts carrots on the counter] How’s that?

SOOKIE: That’s great, that’s just perfect. I really like them there.

JACKSON: Yeah they - they do look good there don’t they?

SOOKIE: Yes they do.

JACKSON: Ok. Well I should - [turns to leave]

SOOKIE: Uh, squash.


SOOKIE: I need some.

JACKSON: Squash.

SOOKIE: Pattypan

JACKSON: Ok, tomorrow?

SOOKIE: Same time?

JACKSON: If that’s good for you?

SOOKIE: It is, it’s perfect.

JACKSON: Ok then, I-I’ll see you tomorrow with the pattypan.

SOOKIE: Great.

JACKSON: Yes. [leaves]

[Sookie rolls her eyes]

LORELAI: Ok so...who walked in on who naked?

SOOKIE: Oh God this is horrible! He comes in and - horrible.

LORELAI: What’s going on between you two?

SOOKIE: I asked him if he’d like to have dinner sometime.

LORELAI: I know - weeks ago.

SOOKIE: And he said yes.

LORELAI: Which is good.

SOOKIE: But since there’s not definite plan or date attached, now the invitation is just out there floating in the universe.

LORELAI: So make a definite plan.

SOOKIE: I can’t.


SOOKIE: Because what if he says no?

LORELAI: He already said yes.

SOOKIE: Yes to the amorphous, theoretical, 'Let’s maybe sometime go out and do something not too specific' proposition. But dinner and a movie - it’s concrete. It’s real, he might say no.

LORELAI: I doubt he will.

SOOKIE: Well why hasn’t he asked me?

LORELAI: I don’t know, maybe he thinks you’ve changed your mind since you asked.

SOOKIE: Well why would he think that?

LORELAI: Because you haven’t mentioned it again.

SOOKIE: But I mentioned it once, it’s his turn.

LORELAI: Alright, let’s say it is his turn, you can spend a lot of time sitting around waiting for him to realize it’s his turn, or you can just run with the wolves and make it your turn again.

SOOKIE: I don’t want it to be my turn again.

LORELAI: You just wanna let this opportunity pass?

SOOKIE: I wanna be the girl.

LORELAI: You are the girl. That’s why we’re having this very confusing conversation.

SOOKIE: You think I should ask him out?

LORELAI: On Sunday.

SOOKIE: Why Sunday?

LORELAI: Because that’s your day off.




LORELAI: I think you should do it now before you lose your nerve.

SOOKIE: Well he’s not back to his office yet.

LORELAI: Does he have a cell phone?


LORELAI: You know people buy cell phones for exactly this reason - so you could get a hold of them anytime you want.

SOOKIE: I thought people bought cell phones in case their cars broke down at night and they needed to call someone for help and there’s psycho killers -

LORELAI: Call him.

SOOKIE: Call him?

LORELAI: Call him Sookie.

SOOKIE: Call him [giggles]

[They go over to the phone]

LORELAI: Mmm, she knows his number by heart.

SOOKIE: He is my produce guy.

LORELAI: Very convenient excuse.

SOOKIE: He - [into the phone] Oh Jackson? It’s Sookie. [picks up a wooden spoon and plays with it in her hair] I was wondering if you could call me back when you get a chance, sooner rather than later, it’s not an emergency so don’t freak out or anything. The carrots still look good. It seems like it’s almost a shame to eat them, sort of like you should put them in a vase or -

LORELAI: [whispers] Sookie, hang up. Hang up.

SOOKIE: Call me, bye. [giggles] Got his voice mail.

LORELAI: Ok good. It give you time to prepare what you’re going to say. Maybe have a few suggestions ready of places to go.

SOOKIE: Date prep time.


SOOKIE: Ok good. I’m good at that. I’m good at prep. [picks up a pad of paper]

LORELAI: Sookie...spoon. [takes spoon away.]

SOOKIE: Right.


[Rory sitting on a bench reading. Dean come out, sees her and goes and sits with her]

DEAN: Is there anything in there about me?

RORY: I don’t know. You name wouldn’t be Lithium would it?

DEAN: Aren’t you supposed to be in school?

RORY: We had a half day today - teacher conferences. So I thought I’d come by and surprise you.

DEAN: Well you know how much I hate surprises.

RORY: Yes, I’m very sorry.

[Dean kisses her]

DEAN: That’s for surprising me.

RORY: I have learned my lesson.

[Dean kisses her again. Rory stops him after a second]

RORY: I have to talk to you about something.

DEAN: Ok, I have to talk to you about something too. Come here [ kisses her again]

RORY: Ok stop.

DEAN: Sorry. [leans in to kiss her again]

RORY: No stay!

DEAN: Why?

RORY: Because I really need to talk to you about something.

DEAN: [sighs] Alright.

RORY: It’s about Todd.

DEAN: What about him?

RORY: What do you think of him?

DEAN: He’s my friend.

RORY: I know.

DEAN: So that would signify a positive impression.

RORY: Right. Ok. Good.

DEAN: Yes, can I kiss you now?

RORY: I’m not done yet.

DEAN: Fine. Go ahead.

RORY: Well you know Lane.

DEAN: Yeah, I do.

RORY: She likes Todd.


RORY: And I think that they would really hit it off.

DEAN: You - you don’t even know Todd.

RORY: No but you do. And you like him - you said so.

DEAN: I did.

RORY: Ok then. There you go.

DEAN: I would - I would really like to kiss you now.

RORY: Yeah so would I.

DEAN: Ok, good. We agree [leans in for a kiss while she leans back]

RORY: I think we should set them up.

DEAN: Todd and Lane?

RORY: Yeah. We could all go out together - like to a movie or something on Sunday.

DEAN: Rory -

RORY: It would be really casual - no big deal.

DEAN: I just -

RORY: What?

DEAN: I mean, I’m just not sure that I see them together.

RORY: You don’t think Todd would like Lane?

DEAN: I’m not sure.

RORY: Lane is great.

DEAN: Yeah, I know.

RORY: She’s my best friend.

DEAN: Yeah, I-I know that.

RORY: Todd should be so lucky to get a girl like her.

DEAN: I didn’t mean -

RORY: I mean I can’t believe that you don’t think that she’s good enough -

DEAN: [over Rory] No, no, no -

RORY: or I don’t know pretty enough.

DEAN: I didn’t say anything about her not being pretty enough -

RORY: Well you did -

DEAN: Let me finish. I just don’t know if he’ll like her because I don’t know what kind of girl he likes.

RORY: Well -

DEAN: But if you want to do this, then I’ll talk to him.

RORY: You will?

DEAN: Yeah.

RORY: And you’ll mention Sunday?

DEAN: I will mention Sunday.

RORY: Thank you.

DEAN: You’re welcome. So...was that it?

RORY: Yeah that was it.

DEAN: Then can we...

RORY: Kissing. Right, let’s go.

[they kiss]


[Lorelai still studying]

LORELAI: [slamming book] I give up.

MICHEL: That’s the spirit.

LORELAI: I can’t remember any of this crap.

MICHEL: Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you were to park.

LORELAI: You’re baiting me aren’t you?

MICHEL: No, I seriously have no faith in your aptitude.

SOOKIE: [rushing up to desk] He called! He called!


SOOKIE: Well, I did what you said. I had it all worked out and I asked him if he’d like to go to dinner at Chez Fleur on Sunday.

LORELAI: Chez Fleur very nice.

SOOKIE: Hm, thank you. He said he would love to.

LORELAI: Oh great!

SOOKIE: He said he would love to but his cousin’s in town and he’s staying with him for the week.

LORELAI: Oh, well then just make it next week.

SOOKIE: Yes, see that would’ve been a good option had I thought of it when I was on the phone, but instead - I came up with another option.

LORELAI: Which is?

SOOKIE: That we double date with his cousin Rune and you.


SOOKIE: Yes, ok, not as good as your option I agree. But it seemed pretty good at the time - though I wasn’t standing here watching you make that face.

LORELAI: Sookie no. I hate blind dates.

SOOKIE: I know, but this isn’t a blind date. This is you keeping his cousin company while I have a date with Jackson.


SOOKIE: Lorelai please. I’ll be your best friend.

LORELAI: You are my best friend.

SOOKIE: And you’re mine.

LORELAI: I know I am.

SOOKIE: So what are best friends for?



LORELAI: Yes, I’ll go.

SOOKIE: [squeals] Thank you, thank you, thank you. You will not regret this.

LORELAI: Pick another phrase.

SOOKIE: You will not have to pay

LORELAI: Much better [sighs] Oh shut up [ to Michel who’s smiling. Opens up book again]



RORY: What?

LORELAI: Diva Glam.

RORY: I’ve got it.

LORELAI: Bring it up. [to Sookie] Hold still.

SOOKIE: Not too much.

LORELAI: No - just enough to say ‘hey sailor’

SOOKIE: My stomach doesn’t feel so great. I think I’ve got the flu.

LORELAI: I think you’re nervous.

[Rory comes into room]

RORY: Here.

LORELAI: Thank you.

RORY: I need the sparkly hair clips

LORELAI: Ok, I’ll find them in a minute.

RORY: [to Sookie] You look pretty.


RORY: Uh huh. [leaves]

SOOKIE: Oh thank you. [to Lorelai] I should cancel.

LORELAI: Ok, let’s do you lips first.

SOOKIE: What if I’m making an idiot out of myself.

LORELAI: By going out on a date?

SOOKIE: With my produce guy.

LORELAI: You like him.

SOOKIE: But what if tonight is a disaster and them he won’t sell to me anymore.

LORELAI: Oh my God, you’re right.

SOOKIE: Yes, see!

LORELAI: And since all the produce in the entire world is in his possession and all the produce that will be grown in the future will be in his possession, then we will never again be able to get any produce and all our vegetarian clients will die.

SOOKIE: I’m scared.

LORELAI: I know.

SOOKIE: I like him.

LORELAI: He likes you.

SOOKIE: How do you know he’s not being polite?

LORELAI: Sookie!

SOOKIE: No I mean it. [gets up and paces] It’s like I cornered him and he felt trapped and he had to say yes.

LORELAI: He did not have to say yes.

SOOKIE: Oh my God. Technically I am his employer.

LORELAI: Sookie!

SOOKIE: I am, I buy his wares. His livelihood depends on my.

LORELAI: Sookie!

SOOKIE: Oh! I’m a sexual harasser

LORELAI: Well then you need some false eyelashes.

SOOKIE: This isn’t funny. I am now desperate, lonely and a criminal.

LORELAI: Ok, stop talking.


LORELAI: No you have exhausted all your talking rights by being crazy. Sit down and listen.

[Sookie sits]

LORELAI: Tonight is a good thing. Whether you find out that you’re madly in love you or you’re not meant for each other, it’s still a good thing. And I’ll be right there. And have I done a gorgeous job on your face or what? Ooh, I’ll be right back [picking up clips]


[Rory and Lane getting ready]

LANE: You’re sure you don’t mind?

RORY: What’s mine is yours.

LANE: I owe you forever.

RORY: Good to know.

LANE: Which one do you think Todd would like better? [holding up two jackets]

RORY: I don’t know Todd.

LANE: I think the rhinestones.

RORY: Rhinestones it is. So what did you tell your mom?

LANE: I told her that I was going to spend the evening here with you guys.

RORY: What if she calls?

LANE: Well I mentioned that we might go and rent some videos or go out to eat which could explain any absence during her call.

RORY: Very thorough.

LANE: With my mom, you can leave nothing to chance. Especially when there is a non-korean involved who as far as I know has no medical aspirations.

LORELAI: [coming into room] Hey, sparkly clips.

RORY: Thank you.

LORELAI: Ooh, I like the rhinestones. [leaves]

RORY: And for a touch of glamour. [putting them in Lane’s hair]

LANE: So what are you going to tell Lorelai?

RORY: I don’t know.

LANE: She wouldn’t tell my mom would she?

RORY: I don’t know if she’d feel good lying to another mother. It’s like this weird code thing with her.

LANE: So we don’t tell her?

RORY: I’m not liking that option either.

LANE: No. We’ll tell her that we’re meeting Dean for a movie, and then we go to the movie and then somebody who just happens to be a friend of Dean’s, just happens to be there, for the same movie and so we figure that it would be completely rude for us to not ask said person to come sit with us.

RORY: I say to hell with governor, you run directly for president.

LANE: It’s not that bad.

RORY: Let’s just not think about it, ok?

LANE: I really appreciate this.

RORY: I know.

LANE: How do I look?

RORY: You look too good for him.

LANE: Just what I was going for. [giggles and they leave the room]

RORY: We’re going [to Lorelai]

LORELAI: Oh, where?

LANE: We’re going to a movie with Dean.

LORELAI: Nothing dirty, violent or French please

RORY: Are you going to be home late?

LORELAI: Well there’s a bit of doubt as to whether or not we’ll ever actually get out of the house at all tonight. Sookie please!

SOOKIE: Ok! I’m here, I’m down [coming down the stairs]

LORELAI: Wow! Hey, where’s your coat?

SOOKIE: It’s upstairs.

LORELAI: Aren’t you gonna need it?

SOOKIE: Oh well, it got caught around the thing, and then when I twisted around to get loose, and then the choking started. I’m free now.

LORELAI: Ok. I’ll get you something to wear.

SOOKIE: I would appreciate that.

RORY: Bye.


SOOKIE: Bye kittens [girls leave]

LORELAI: Bye girls.

LORELAI: Huh? [with a blue shawl in hand]

SOOKIE: Oh this is beautiful.

LORELAI: It goes with the theme of the evening.

SOOKIE: This is a really nice thing you’re doing for me.

LORELAI: Anytime Sookie.

SOOKIE: Last looks [Does a turn while Lorelai claps]

[knock on the door]

LORELAI: I’ll get it.

[Sookie exhales]


JACKSON: Hi Lorelai, sorry we’re late.

LORELAI: Oh no problem. Just adds a little more primping time for the ladies.

SOOKIE: Hi Jackson

JACKSON: Sookie, hi






LORELAI: Ok, uh do you guys wanna come in for a minute?

JACKSON: Oh sure. [they enter] Oh, uh Lorelai, this is my cousin Rune, Rune this is Lorelai.

LORELAI: Hi, it’s very nice to meet you [extends hand but Rune doesn’t take it]

RUNE: Can I talk to you a minute?

JACKSON: What’s the matter?

RUNE: I need a minute alone, please?

JACKSON: Excuse us. [Rune takes Jackson outside]

JACKSON: What are you doing?

RUNE: That’s Lorelai?


RUNE: Did you see how tall she is?

JACKSON: No, I haven’t noticed actually.

RUNE: How could you not notice, she’s like a basketball player.

JACKSON: Rune, she’s a very nice lady!

RUNE: You know I cannot go out with anyone that tall. I mean God! I can’t believe you set me up with that. What, was the bearded lady busy tonight or something?

[Sookie and Lorelai, who are listening, exchange a look]

JACKSON: It’s just one night, a little dinner.

RUNE: When she came to the door it never crossed my mind that that was who I had to spend the evening with. I thought it was her East German maid or something.

JACKSON: You’re being ridiculous, she’s not that tall!

RUNE: She’s tall enough!

JACKSON: Would you keep it down, she’s gonna hear you!

RUNE: With those big ears I bet she can.

JACKSON: Hey Rune, you come into town completely unannounced, you eat all my food, you crash on my couch and I don’t say a thing. The least you could do is go out for one night - make some conversation, be pleasant, who knows, maybe you’ll enjoy it!

RUNE: But why can’t we go out - just to the two of us.

JACKSON: Rune, please.

RUNE: [sighs] Ok.

JACKSON: Thank you [Both go back to the front door.] Ok, I think we should be going.

SOOKIE: Yes that sounds good.

[Lorelai looks at Rune, who turns away. She closes the door behind her.]


[All sitting in silence looking at the menu. Rune is staring at Lorelai, she forces a smile]

RUNE: What size shoe do you wear?

LORELAI: Uh, size 9.

RUNE: 9? Wow.

SOOKIE: I wonder if the mussels are fresh?

LORELAI: Um, well, it does say ‘fresh mussels’ on the menu.

SOOKIE: Yes, but a lot of times they say ‘fresh’ and they’re not, they’re frozen but they’re just called ‘fresh’ because they were fresh when they were frozen. [Jackson nodding and smiling at her] Plus if they’re not stored with the correct drainage they just sit around in their own excretions, with is kind of like sitting around in your own -

LORELAI: Sookie, I beg of you, do not order the fresh mussels.

SOOKIE: But if they’re fresh -

LORELAI: Even if they’re fresh.

JACKSON: I wonder where they get their carrots from The carrot crop this year has been really mealy.

LORELAI: [sighs] So...Rune...

RUNE: Yes?

LORELAI: What is that - ‘Rune’ ?

RUNE: What do you mean?

LORELAI: I mean, where did ‘Rune’ come from?

RUNE: I’m from out of town, I thought Jackson told you?

LORELAI: He did tell me, I meant the name ‘Rune’. You just don’t meet a lot of ‘Runes’, right? [giggles a bit]

RUNE: It was my dad’s name.

LORELAI: Oh, where’d he get it?

RUNE: [annoyed] I don’t know, from his parents I guess.

LORELAI: Ok, done with that topic [waiter approaches] Oh the waiter, thanks the Lord.

WAITER: What can I get you this evening?

SOOKIE: I’d like to ask about the mussels, are they fresh?

WAITER: Yes they are.

JACKSON: And where exactly are your carrots from?

WAITER: Well -

RUNE: Is there anything on this menu that isn’t French?

LORELAI: I’ll just have a martini and keep’em coming. [Waiter leaves] Thanks.

[Table goes back to sitting in silence]


[Rory and Dean are in line. She’s looking at Lane and Todd in line behind them.]

DEAN: What are you doing?

RORY: Nothing.

DEAN: They’re fine.

RORY: I am not looking at them. I’m looking at the world around me.

DEAN: The world is fine too.

RORY: I just want to make sure they’re having fun.

DEAN: They’re having fun.

RORY: How do you know?

DEAN: They’re not in prison or in some sort of medieval torture chamber.

RORY: Well when you measure it that way -

[Pan to Lane and Todd]

LANE: And the amazing thing is, all these girls are screaming and none of them are getting the joke. He’s playing the character of a rock star. I mean Beck is a genius and all these stupid girls are screaming at him just because they’re buying into the rock star image. I love Beck. I understand Beck. [looks at Todd nervously who doesn’t say anything] And the Foo Fighters - Gods. I mean, have you heard the acoustic version of ‘Everlong’? I can’t even talk about it you know? Hey, you know who I’ve really gotten into lately? The velvet underground. Oh and Nico - she’s amazing - Depressing scary German chick. I have the cd if you wanna borrow it sometime. Wh-what kind of music do you like?

TODD: I don’t know - whatever.

LANE: Fugazi?

TODD: What?

LANE: The band on your shirt.

TODD: Oh. Huh, pretty cool picture.

LANE: You don’t know what’s on your shirt?

TODD: It’s my sister’s.


[Rory looks over her shoulder intently. Lane gives her a forced smile. Dean turns Rory’s face forward.]

LANE: Well what about books? Do you like books?

TODD: Mmm. [shrugging]

LANE: Magazines? [Todd’s silent] What about school? What are you majoring in?

TODD: I was thinking about gym.

LANE: Gym?

TODD: If I major in gym, I only have to take 4 classes my senior year.

LANE: Oh, cool

[Pan to Rory and Dean]

RORY: Gym?

DEAN: We work on our bikes together. He’s got the good tools.


[Rune yawning]

SOOKIE: [giggling] It was so funny. Oh God! Do you remember?

LORELAI: I remember.

SOOKIE: What was Rory, eight?

LORELAI: I believe she was.

SOOKIE: Oh god, that mud pie fiasco haunted me for a year! I mean, hers looked just like mine. Of course I used you know, homemade chocolate cookies, bittersweet ganache and she used well, mud. You know, but they did look damn similar. Oh.

[Rune is cutting the heads off of swans with his knife]

LORELAI: So, uh, Sookie’s been experimenting with, um, different forms of baking ever since I’ve known her.

JACKSON: Oh, well, that’s very interesting.

SOOKIE: Yeah. Hey Lorelai, remember when I decided to teach you how to make strawberry tarts [Jackson looks bored] and the entire kitchen was stained red and I had to repaint that one wall red just to make it look normal? Do you remember? Wasn’t it?

LORELAI: Mmm, it was. Sookie, let’s go powder our noses.

RUNE: You’ll need a lot of powder.

LORELAI: We’ll be right back. Come on hon.

SOOKIE: Oh, ok.

[They get up and leave. Jackson give Rune a ‘what are you doing?’ look]

LORELAI: Honey, no matter how many beers you buy me tonight, I’m not the one going home with you, so I would concentrate on the one who might.


LORELAI: You haven’t said a word to Jackson all night.

SOOKIE: I haven’t have I?


SOOKIE: I know. I’m just - Oh, I’m so nervous.

LORELAI: You’re nervous? You don’t have some guy staring at you like he’s Cher and you’re the kid from ‘Mask’.

SOOKIE: I can - I can’t think of anything to say.

LORELAI: To Jackson?

SOOKIE: Yes, to Jackson.

LORELAI: Yes, cause to me tonight there’s been no ‘off’ button.

SOOKIE: I-I just - ugh! This place is too fancy, my hair is too tight and this dress is all wrong. And he looks really good doesn’t he?

LORELAI: Yes he does.

SOOKIE: I’m being crazy, I know I’m being crazy.

LORELAI: No. You’re just putting too much pressure on this whole evening. Look, in five seconds I can take your hair down, we can go some place more casual and personally I think you’re wrong about the dress.

SOOKIE: Really?

LORELAI: Yes. Come on. Let’s got to Luke’s. You know, have burgers, talk, relax - no pressure, no stress, unless I wind up stepping on Rune which might be fun.

SOOKIE: That would be great.

LORELAI: Ok, come on.

SOOKIE: Alright.


[Lane and Todd are in a theater-like seating watching the movie]

LANE: Ok, what about movies, you must have a favorite movie.

TODD: Yes I do!

LANE: Great! What is it?

TODD: Beethoven.

LANE: Beethoven? The one with the dog?

TODD: There’s this scene where this little dog is running around with a huge cabbage in it’s mouth. Oh man, it’s classic! I shot my Dr. Pepper right outta my nose! I swear!

[Lane forces another smile]


[The four enter]

RUNE: [sniffs] Ew.

LORELAI: Welcome to Luke’s.

JACKSON: Well this is much better.

SOOKIE: It is, isn’t it?

LORELAI: Grab a seat, I’ll get some menus

LUKE: Hey.

LORELAI: Hey, four menus, a coffee and an anvil please.

LUKE: What’s the anvil for?

LORELAI: For Rune?

LUKE: What’s a Rune.

LORELAI: Please not that question again.

LUKE: Ok. [gets coffee. Lorelai sighs and looks at them sitting in silence] Here you go.

LORELAI: Mind if I hang out here a sec?

LUKE: Why? What’s going on over there?

LORELAI: Sookie and Jackson are on their first date.

LUKE: Seems to be going well.

LORELAI: I think I’d wear blue to the wedding.

LUKE: Who’s the other guy?

LORELAI: That’s Jackson’s cousin. He’s my date!

LUKE: Lucky girl!

LORELAI: Yes, I think so. He is, believe it or not, even less thrilled with the match up than I am.

LUKE: You’re kidding, why?

LORELAI: I’m too tall.

LUKE: [laughs] Get out.

LORELAI: I’m serious.

LUKE: Doesn’t he understand how great that is? You can get all the stuff from the top shelf.

LORELAI: Exactly. That is exactly what I bring to a relationship. Explain that to him will you. [takes a sip of coffee] Mmm. Luke, that is an exceptionally good batch of coffee.

LUKE: Yeah?


LUKE: I added a little nutmeg.

LORELAI: Really?

LUKE: Yes.

LORELAI: That’s very Richard Simmons of you.

LUKE: Well what can I say. Chicks dig a man with a feminine side.


RUNE: Ok [standing up] I’m really bored.

JACKSON: Sit down, we’re about ready to order.

RUNE: I don’t wanna order, I don’t wanna eat here. I wanna go.


RUNE: Jackson...Look I came out with you tonight under the impression that I’d have fun. First I get stuck with her, then I get dragged to a French restaurant, then I get dragged out of a French restaurant. God knows where I am now.

LORELAI: Oh, you’re at Luke’s.

RUNE: I’ve been very patient Jackson. Sunday night’s almost over, I wanna go bowling.


RUNE: And I’d like you to go bowling with me.

JACKSON: Oh...well [looking at Sookie who’s looking at her hands] I guess we should...[starts to stand]

SOOKIE: Don’t go!

JACKSON: Really?!

SOOKIE: Yes. Stay here. We haven’t really even started our date yet.

JACKSON: No we haven’t. Sorry Rune, you’re on your own tonight.

RUNE: Fine, I’ll just see you at home then - maybe [leaves]

LORELAI: Bye Loon! [looks over at the two] Finally.

LUKE: I guess you’ll only need three menus now.

LORELAI: Hey, why don’t you make up three fabulous cheeseburgers and send two over there. I’ll have mine here.

LUKE: First I gotta watch a man walk out on you, then I have to watch you eat alone. Nope. Too pathetic.

LORELAI: I’m not eating alone. You’re here.

LUKE: I’m working.

LORELAI: Yeah but after three cheeseburgers you’re done, unless you’re expecting Elijah to stop by.

LUKE: Ok. Fine. [pulls out a deck of cards] 5-card draw.

LORELAI: Oh! You’re on.

[Luke deals as Lorelai watches intently]

LORELAI: Mm-hm. Mm-hm [looks at her cards] Uh...huh. Give me four. [looks at them again] Aah, no four more.

LUKE: You can’t have four more, those are the four I dealt you.

LORELAI: Well these don’t help me and I have vowed to discard anything negative in my life - first Rune and now these four cards.

LUKE: Whatever you say [giving her another 4]

LORELAI: Ooh, much better, thank you.

LUKE: Rune knew when to run away.


[Sookie and Jackson are giggling]

LORELAI: God that’s nice.

LUKE: Yep.

LORELAI: The whole ‘first date, beginning of the relationship’ glow - everything is new and exciting.

LUKE: Every joke is hilarious.

LORELAI: Every little touch is incredible [touching Luke’s arm]

LUKE: Mm-hm.

LORELAI: God that’s a good feeling.

LUKE: It is at that.

LORELAI: I miss that.

LUKE: You’ll have it again.

LORELAI: Mmm...I guess.

[Mrs Kim sees Lorelai through the window]

LUKE: You know, maybe sometime we could...

[Door slams]

MRS. KIM: Where are the girls?


MRS. KIM: Lane said she’s with you and Rory.

LORELAI: W - slow down.

MRS. KIM: I call - no answer, I think they are at the video store, I call again - no answer. I call a 3rd time - no answer!

LORELAI: You had a lot of time on your hands tonight.

MRS. KIM: I have to know where girls are.

LORELAI: They said they were going to a movie.

MRS. KIM: With who?

LORELAI: They were going to meet Dean.

MRS. KIM: A boy? [with disgust] You let them go with a boy?

LORELAI: Mrs. Kim, Dean is Rory’s boyfriend.

MRS. KIM: Just because you let your daughter run around with boys doesn’t mean I let mine.

LORELAI: I thought you knew.

MRS. KIM: I didn’t know! They could be anywhere, they could be doing anything. Smoking, or drinking or buying drugs!

LORELAI: They’re at the movies. There’s no drugs there. They don’t even have the real red vines.

MRS. KIM: I need to find them [leaves]

LORELAI: I’m coming with [leaves too]


TODD: Good flick, good flick.

DEAN: Yeah not bad.

RORY: Lane, what’d you think?

LANE: Uh, I think it’s really late and I should be getting home.

TODD: Really?

LANE: Yeah but it’s been fun.

TODD: Oh come on. Let’s go get some ice cream or something - eat it really fast, get that freezy brain thing going. It’s cool.

LANE: So tempting and yet -

MRS. KIM: LANE KIM!!! [shouting in Korean]

LANE: My mom!

RORY: My mom!

TODD: Two moms, that’s gotta be bad.

LANE: Mama, I was just about -

MRS. KIM: [shouting in Korean]

RORY: Mom, I can -

LORELAI: So not the time Rory.

MRS. KIM: You lied to me.

LANE: I’m sorry.

MRS. KIM: Get home right now! [leave]

TODD: Whoa, rough family.

DEAN: What’s going on?

LORELAI: Oh bits of information were left out of the mom packets tonight.

RORY: I’m sorry.

LORELAI: Ok. Mother/daughter #2 are leaving now. Say bye Rory.

RORY: [to Dean] Bye.

DEAN: I’ll, uh call you later.


DEAN: I’ll call you tomorrow.

LORELAI: Yeah, bye Dean.

TODD: That’s Rory’s mom? She’s a babe man!

LORELAI: [walking away] And what were you thinking?

RORY: I know.

LORELAI: You lied to me - me! What is that nonsense all about?

RORY: I shouldn’t have done it. I know I shouldn’t have done it.

LORELAI: Damn right you shouldn’t have done it.

RORY: But Lane really wanted to go out with Todd, and of course she could tell her mother so I didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t have to lie for us.

LORELAI: You lied to me so I wouldn’t have to lie to Mrs. Kim?

RORY: Yeah.

LORELAI: Oh my God you really are my daughter.

RORY: I’m sorry.

LORELAI: I have to know where you are at all times, especially when you have my shoes on.

RORY: I know.

LORELAI: This whole trust thing only works if it goes both ways kid.

RORY: I hated doing it.


RORY: Would you have?


RORY: Lied for us?

LORELAI: To Mrs. Kim?

RORY: Yeah.


RORY: Why?

LORELAI: Because that lady’s scary.

RORY: Mom.

LORELAI: I can’t lie to another mother. That’s breaking the code.

RORY: So then what were we supposed to do tonight?

LORELAI: Look, I know that Mrs. Kim and Robert Duvall in ‘The Great Santini’ share a striking resemblance, but she is Lane’s mom. She has the right to tell Lane she can’t do something, you have to respect that and I really have to respect that.

RORY: So we were in a no-win situation tonight.


RORY: Great.

LORELAI: Sorry. [pause] Hey, you know the one good thing we all learned from this?

RORY: What?

LORELAI: [smiling] That I’m a babe.


[Rory climbed a tree to get to Lane’s bedroom window. Knocks.]

LANE: Hey.

RORY: What’s up Rapunzel?

LANE: Don’t take this the wrong way, but in all my various fantasies about who might appear at this window, you never actually made the list.

RORY: So how are you? I haven’t heard from you in days.

LANE: I’m ok, I guess.

RORY: I was afraid to call.

LANE: I think that’s best for now.

RORY: Your mom’s really mad huh?

LANE: The words ‘convent’ and ‘Siberia’ were both used several times and at least once as a combo.

RORY: I’m really sorry Lane.

LANE: It’s not your fault.

RORY: I shouldn’t have arranged it. I should’ve -

LANE: You arranged it because I asked you to and I’m really glad you did.

RORY: You are?

LANE: If you hadn’t set me up with Todd, then I would still be in love with him.

RORY: Not the guy for you huh?

LANE: Not the guy for anybody who can read, write, talk or function on a basic human level.

RORY: I’m sorry.

LANE: I was so bored that night I couldn’t see straight. I’ve been on Korean meditation weekends that have had more laughs.

RORY: He liked you though, Dean told me.

LANE: I know, he called here.

RORY: You’re kidding.

LANE: I pretended to be my mother and wouldn’t allow me to speak to him. Is that mean?

RORY: [giggles] I think he’ll survive. He and Dean went muffler shopping today.

LANE: That’s nice.

RORY: So how long before you can get out?

LANE: I don’t know. Right now I have to be in the house at all times except for school and church.

RORY: She didn’t give you any time frame at all?

LANE: Nope.

RORY: I miss you.

LANE: I miss you too.

RORY: Is there anything I can do?

LANE: Yeah, don’t tell anyone I went out with Todd ok?

RORY: [smiling] Promise

[They hear a noise]

LANE: I gotta go.

RORY: Bye.


MRS. KIM: [angrily]You break you buy!

MAN: But it was sticking out in the aisle.

MRS. KIM: You break you buy! [Lorelai comes in.]

MAN But I didn’t put it in the aisle.

MRS. KIM: You have eyes yes?

MAN: Yes I have eyes?

MRS. KIM: These eyes work?

MAN Yes these eyes work.

MRS. KIM: They can make out shape, sizes and colors?

MAN: Yes they can do all that, but -

MRS. KIM: Eyes work! They see lamp in aisle, send message to brain. ‘Lamp in aisle - move ‘ You move. You don’t break lamp.

MAN: I -

MRS. KIM: You have no eyes, not my problem, that is between you and them. You break you buy

[Man give in and give her some money]

MRS. KIM: [all smiles and sweetly] We appreciate your business. [to Lorelai] Oh, hello

LORELAI: Hi. So I was wondering if I could maybe talk to you for a minute.

MRS. KIM: I’m working.

LORELAI: Right, well this is gonna be so quick you’ll be amazed.

MRS. KIM: Fine, come. [goes into another room]

LORELAI: Look, I’m really sorry about what happened the other night, uh Rory’s never lied to me like that before.

MRS. KIM: That you know of.

LORELAI: Uh, no, I’m pretty sure that was the first time and it definitely was the last.

MRS. KIM: Fine.

LORELAI: Uh, so I just didn’t want you to feel that you couldn’t send Lane over to our house anymore, um, because you can. Believe me, those girls go nowhere without me knowing about it. In fact I was thinking of having some house arrest ankle bracelets made you know - maybe cute ones with leopard print or zebra stripes, maybe a little glitter design...

MRS. KIM: Lane won’t be coming over, she will stay in our house.

LORELAI: Well, right. I was talking about later. I mean, she’s not going to be grounded forever is she?

MRS. KIM: Lane lied to me and she must be punished.

LORELAI: I totally agree. But Lane is a really good kid. I don’t think I’ve ever met a kit who respects her parents more than Lane respects you.

MRS. KIM: Lying is not showing respect.

LORELAI: Uh, she’s 16. She had a crush on a boy.

MRS. KIM: Lane is not allowed to date boys unless we have approved them. She knows that, she knows our rules and she broke them. That is unacceptable.

LORELAI: Ok, yes, you’re right. But teenagers sometimes slip up.

MRS. KIM: I don’t care what teenagers do, I care what Lane does.

LORELAI: You know, it doesn’t always work to just lock a kid up and throw away the key.

MRS. KIM: I didn’t throw away the key, it’s in the kitchen.

LORELAI: [taken aback] Ok, well, I was talking symbolically...but alright, I’m with you now. Look when I was a teenager, my parents tried to keep me locked up. They tried to force me to become what they had in mind, and now I’m not talking exactly about Lane here, but in my case, it really didn’t work.

MRS. KIM: You blame your parents for getting pregnant.

LORELAI: No, I just think sometimes if I’d had a little more space or someone to listen to me, things might have turned out different. Now I got lucky, because having Rory - totally the best thing that could have happened. But let’s be honest, I certainly don’t want Rory to turn out like me.

MRS. KIM: I don’t want Lane to turn out like you either.

LORELAI: Now I believe that’s the first thing that you and I have ever agreed on.

MRS. KIM: I just want Lane to be safe.

LORELAI: I just want Rory to be safe. So, I’m gonna go now. Hey, I think you are doing a great job with Lane. She’s a really great kid. I just wanted to put my two cents in because that’s what I do, so. Bye.

[walks out of room and breaks a vase on the way out]

LORELAI: I know, you break you buy. I heard earlier. That’s $35 right?


[Lorelai and Rory enter]

RORY: An ‘A-’ - I’m very impressed.

LORELAI: And annoying boy behind me?

RORY: Yes.


RORY: Loser.

LORELAI: I know, it’s all very exciting. Ooh, hey did I tell you that Sookie and Jackson have another date tonight.

RORY: What is that the third one this week?


RORY: That’s so great.

LORELAI: I know it is. Of course if she tells me the story of how Jackson cultivates his own mealworms to help fertilize his plants one more time, I’m going to Romeo and Juliet them both.

RORY: It’s sweet.

LORELAI: Mealworms.

RORY: Gross, but sweet.

[Rory’s pager goes off]

LORELAI: Hey, you know the rules. No pages before french fries.

RORY: Oh my God, it’s Lane!

LORELAI: Oh you’re kidding.

RORY: Give me your cell phone quick.

LORELAI: Where are you going? I wanna hear.

RORY: Outside.


RORY: Because Luke hates cell phones.


RORY: I do not want to incur the wrath of Luke.

LORELAI: Why not it’s fun.

RORY: I’ll be back.

LORELAI: Goody-goody. [Rory leaves]

[Outside Rory dials]

LANE: Rory?

RORY: Lane?

LANE: I’m standing in the yard! I’m standing in the yard!

RORY: Oh my God, she let you out!

LANE: I can go as far as the sign.

RORY: That’s so great!

[Pan to inside]

LUKE: Hey.


LUKE: I haven’t seen you since the other night. Everything turn out ok?

LORELAI: Oh yeah, fine. The dating world of 16 year olds - very exciting stuff.

LUKE: I bet. [pause] Oh, uh coffee?

LORELAI: Do you have to ask?

[Luke pours]

LORELAI: You know, I had a good time the other night - with the cards.

LUKE: Oh yeah, yeah - me too.


LUKE: Yeah, if fact you rushed out of here before I had a chance to -

LORELAI: A chance to?

LUKE: Kick your ass in poker.

LORELAI: [laughs] You wish.

LUKE: Burger?

LORELAI: Two and fries.

LUKE: Maybe we could do it again sometime.

LORELAI: Oh yeah, well, I-I would like that.

[Rory rushes in]

RORY: Here.

LORELAI: Oh where ya going?

RORY: Lane’s allowed outside for 15 minutes. I’m gonna go over and stand across the street and yell at her. [ rushes to the door]

LORELAI: Do you still want you burger?

RORY: I’ll be back [ closing door]

LORELAI: Yell ‘hi’ for me.

[Looks at Luke, then drinks her coffee.]

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