This is a list of all the offical onscreen dirty moments
1.16 - 2.07 - 2.15 - 2.17 - 3.01 - 3.05 - 3.08 - 3.09 - 3.18 - 4.09 - 4.11
5.03 - 5.04 - 5.06 - 5.18 - 5.19 - 6.04 - 6.05 - 6.07 - 6.16 - 6.21 - 7.12 - 7.17

1.16 - Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers (16)
transcript - episode description
LORELAI: I had a dream about him the other night.

RORY: Really? Dirty?

LORELAI: No, absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer. Anyway, it's put me in a funk since then.

RORY: I'm sorry.
Lorelai and Rory are talking about Max.

While this is Luke and Lorelai it's still funny. so the first dirty is from Rory.

LORELAI: Good, I’m fine, how’s that xray vision coming?

SOOKIE: Jackson’s inside.

LORELAI: Is he doing something dirty?

SOOKIE: He’s making me dinner.
Lorelai and Sookie

2.07 - Like Mother, Like Daughter (28)
transcript - episode description
LUKE: By the way, you do tell people that you're the one that named my toolbox, right?

LORELAI: Toolbox, dirty.

LUKE: Oh geez.

Luke goes to the Inn to fix the runway

Hard as it may seem Dirty as a responce from Lorelai for someone saying something did not happen for the first time until this episode, it's fitting that is was Luke on the other end.

2.15 - Lost and Found (36)
transcript - episode description
LORELAI: I promise we won’t do anything dirty.

MARY: Oh please, if my husband and I looked anything like the two of you, we’d never get dressed.

LORELAI: Oh, you are bad!

Lorelai and Luke are looking at an appartment

Luke wants for room for him and Jess so goes appartment hunting and asks Lorelai to help him.

2.17 - Dead Uncles and Vegetables (38)
transcript - episode description
TAYLOR: You really have to work on your punctuality, Lorelai. I banged the meeting in a half an hour ago.

LORELAI: Uh, dirty!

A minute later

TAYLOR: All right now, the last order of business is a matter relating personally to me, therefore I'm going to give Miss Patty my gavel.

LORELAI: Again, dirty!

TAYLOR: Stop that.

Lorelai and Rory are late for the town meeting

The first and second dirty for Taylor.

Lauren Graham has great timing and this exchange is a good example.

Still only the second and third dirty the show has had.

3.01 - Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days (44)
transcript - episode description
LUKE: Go one day without coffee.

LORELAI: That’s not giving up.

LUKE: I’ll put a toy in your cereal.


LUKE: [hands her a plate of food] Fine, here, you win.

This is a dream sequance that Lorelai has at the start of the episode, Luke is making breakfast.

Great moment and is carried on in One's Got Class and the Other One Dyes when Lorelai promised to get Luke a toy if he goes to the school to talk to the students about running a business.

3.05 - Eight O'Clock at the Oasis (48)
transcript - episode description
MICHEL: Oh, yes. First, you mustn’t be too eager because that drives the price way up.

LORELAI: Don’t be too eager, got it.

MICHEL: And you must always be extremely careful of your paddle movements.

LORELAI: Well, that certainly calls for a "Dirty!"

Michel and Lorelai go to an auction.

The first dirty for Michel!

RORY: Was the food good at least?

LORELAI: Tiny portions, weird sauces.

RORY: I’m sorry.

LORELAI: That’s okay. You don’t know until you try, right? Anyhow, I am going to go to bed now and dream of Peter Cutler. Hopefully, it will be dirty.
Lorelai and Rory talk about the date.

3.08 - Let the Games Begin (51)
transcript - episode description
RORY: We like tacos.

LORELAI: Yes, we do. [reads] "You haven’t had a taco until you’ve spent some time at Hector’s, crisp and meaty – "

RORY: Dirty.

LORELAI: Thank you. "Not greasy. With homemade tortillas, it elevates this fast finger food to the level of haute cuisine."

RORY: Sounds good.

The girls are going on a road trip with the grand parents.

The first dirty responce from Rory, these two think alike.

LORELAI: It’s a paper clip.

EMILY: And what do you intend to do with that paper clip?

LORELAI: I intend to carve something really dirty into the bathroom door.

EMILY: Lorelai.

LORELAI: What rhymes with Nantucket?

While on the road trip Emily's has a problem with her skirt.

The Lorelai is fixing it in the bathroom.

3.09 - A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving (52)
transcript - episode description
TEACHER: The multi-layered membrane systems of the cytoplasm are the smooth endoplasmic reticulum, the rough endoplasmic reticulum, and the golgi body. Now, the smooth endoplasmic reticulum is concerned with the manufacture of lipid molecules. [bell rings] We’ll continue on this next week. Keep up on your reading please.

MADELINE: That was really distracting.

PARIS: Oh. Well, by all means, Madeline, you should point out to the faculty that their annoying custom of teaching is distracting you from more important things like nail filing and daydreaming about marrying Ryan Phillippe.

LOUISE: Uh, he’s already married.

PARIS: Then whatever strawhead actor isn’t.

MADELINE: This was bad. For the last five minutes, every single thing she said sounded dirty.

LOUISE: Yeah, same here.

PARIS: Good God.

MADELINE: I mean, reticulum? Come on.

LOUISE: Plus, the golgi body. I mean, is it me or is that majorly pornographic?

PARIS: My life with the Banger sisters.

In Class at Chilton.

Every one is getting in on the dirty action now with this very good exchange.

3.18 - Happy Birthday, Baby (61)
transcript - episode description
LUKE: Okay. So, I can do most of this list today, but, uh, I can’t put up the towel rack until later. I didn’t bring my drill.


LUKE: Dirty, yes, I know.

Luke is fixing things around Lorelai's house for her birthday.

Again Luke is on the reciving end of a dirty remark by Lorelai.

4.09 - Ted Koppel's Big Night Out (74)
transcript - episode description
RORY: So how was it?

LORELAI: It's still going on.

RORY: Really, how dirty.

LORELAI: We're at the West Hills market drinking booze out of paper cups.

RORY: Really, how pathetic.

LORELAI: He made sure I got my potato chips.

RORY: Really, how confusing.

Jason and Lorelai go on there first date.

Good phone talk about the date.

4.11 - In the Clamor and the Clangor (76)
transcript - episode description
LUKE: Okay, now just hold the flashlight, do not do any moving spotlight gags and point it at me and yell "Freeze, drop your weapons."

LORELAI: [laughs] How about if I shine it on the wall and do a dirty hand puppet show?

LUKE: Just stand back so the lightning only strikes you.

A few minutes later

LORELAI: God, these things are heavy. Don't you have a smaller toolbox?

LUKE: No, why would I have two toolboxes?

LORELAI: 'Cause then you'd have a big one and a small one.

LUKE: Well, if you have a big one you don't need a small one. [Lorelai opens her mouth to speak] Don't say 'dirty', it's too easy. Hold these. [Gives her tools]

Luke and Lorelai go to the church to stop the bells.

Great exchange and, lorelai almost tells Luke how she feels.

5.03 - Written in the Stars (90)
transcript - episode description
LORELAI: Is this like a Mafia thing?

LUKE: Excuse me?

LORELAI: The whole coming in, special table, reserved sign. Are you gonna have to whack someone before the soup course?

LUKE: No, I've filled my whacking quota for the week. [cringes] Dirty?

LORELAI: [wicked grin] Extremely.

Luke and Lorelai go on their first official date.

Can't get to much of the dirty!

5.04 - Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too (91)
transcript - episode description
LORELAI: What's weird?

LUKE: Who's weird? I'm weird?

RORY: The thought of Luke running around naked in my kitchen. It's weird.

LORELAI: Luke is not running around naked in your kitchen. He is sitting at the table, and, yes, he is naked.

LUKE: [cringes] Don't do that. Don't tell her I'm naked. I'm not naked. [calls out] I'm not naked!

RORY: [teasing] He sounds naked.

LORELAI: Well, the chairs are cold.

RORY: Huh?

LORELAI: He actually tried to make me breakfast.

RORY: Really?

LORELAI: Yeah, naked.

LUKE: [drops what he's doing and starts to leave] Okay, that's it, I'm gone.

LORELAI: Oh, no, no, no. Sorry, don't, no. Rory, Luke is fully dressed. He never came in the house. He just stood outside all night playing "In Your Eyes" on a boom box.

[Luke gapes and stares at the ceiling]

RORY: I have to go. If you find the book, bring it to Friday-night dinner, okay? Go back to your dirtiness. [grabs her keys and exits]

[Luke grins as Lorelai takes the paper sack from him.]

Luke is making breakfast for Lorelai, who is on the phone with Rory.

Rory thinks Luke is naked in her kitchen.

5.06 - We Got Us a Pippi Virgin (93)
transcript - episode description
PARIS: I had a dram about you last night

RORY: If this gets dirty feel free to keep it to yourself.

Paris to Rory

At the Yale paper.

5.18 - To Live And Let Diorama (105)
transcript - episode description
TAYLOR: You’re right! Let’s keep our standards high. Good thinking, Luke. Now, Gypsy, as soon as we have everything catalogued, my man Luke here will liaise with you to co-ordinate your needs.

LUKE: Right, we’ll liaise.

GYPSY: Fine. But I’m not doing nothing dirty.

Gypsy and Luke are helping Taylor with the new museum.

This is the first time we hear dirty from Gypsy, not a real "Dirty" moment but it was fun to hear.

5.19 - But I'm A Gilmore (106)
transcript - episode description
LORELAI: You know, I love watching you cook. It's hot.

LUKE: That's because you're standing right next to the broiler.

LORELAI: Oh, is that what we're calling it now?

LUKE: Not in front of the guys, please.

LORELAI: Fine. I'll save my dirty cooking jokes for later.

Luke is helping in the Dragonfly's kitchen.

Luke is uncomfortable with how Lorelai is talking to him around the kitchen staff. Again not a real "Dirty" moment but we haven't had and for a while.

6.04 - Always a Godmother, Never a God (113)
transcript - episode description
BEAU: Well, aren't you accommodating. Guess I'll just go get my duffel bag out of the minivan. (walks away, as Jackson approaches the front desk)

LORELAI: (to Jackson) That's the first time I ever heard the word "duffel" sound dirty.
Jackson's Family is checking into the Dragonfly Inn.

Bo checks them in and is trying to hit on Lorelai.

6.05 - We've Got Magic To Do (114)
transcript - episode description
LORELAI: Oh, you're a great mocker. I was only thinking of you when I mentioned the camping. You haven't been camping since we got together, and I was feeling weird about that. You should do the things you like.

LUKE: I do do the things I like.

LORELAI: Well, I wasn't getting rid of you. I want you to do whatever you want to do with me. I know that sounded dirty, and dirty things count, but I didn't mean the dirty things. You and me can hang whenever, wherever.

LUKE: Yeah, well, maybe I'm being sensitive.
Lorelai and Luke are talking about doing thing together.

Luke is feeling he was left out and Lorelai wants Luke to do more thing he likes.

6.07 - Twenty-One Is The Loneliest Number (116)
transcript - episode description
SOOKIE: Okay, so what kind of linked sausage would you like to pull out of Luke?

LORELAI: I'm not sure, nothing too whimpy. Luke's a big guy so he needs a big guy sausage.

SOOKIE: Don't we all.

LORELAI: Don't make my man's sausage dirty!
Lorelai is talking about a sausage.

6.16 - Bridesmaids Revisited (125)
transcript - episode description
[A customer leaves and Kirk snatches some toast off his plate]

KIRK: What?

LANE: You're disgusting, and you're cheating on your juice diet.

KIRK: I didn't cheat. I expanded the definition of "juice"... I feel dirty.
Okay it's stretch but we haven't had a dirty for a while so I'm desperate.

6.21 - Driving Miss Gilmore (130)
transcript - episode description
RICHARD: Personally, I like you with glasses.

LORELAI: It's that whole "dirty librarian" thing, right, dad?

RICHARD: I beg your pardon.
Not realy a dirty moment but we haven't had one in a while.

7.12 - To Whom It May Concern (143)
transcript - episode description
LORELAI: Yeah, so it's not weird. What did you do with the muffin bottoms?

SOOKIE: I made a muffin-bottom pie. It's actually pretty good. I'm thinking about patenting it.

LORELAI: Mmm, muffin-bottom pie -- sounds dirty.
Muffin bottoms anyone!

7.17 - Gilmore Girls Only (148)
transcript - episode description
LORELAI: Hey. [Hands Emily her coat] Here you go. Well, we should probably get going, let Mia and Howard do whatever it is they're gonna do the rest of the night.

EMILY: Lorelai.

LORELAI: What? That could mean anything.

MIA: Well, she's right. The bride and groom have wild plans to take off all their clothes, jump into their pajamas, and listen to "A Prairie Home Companion."

LORELAI: See? Dirty mind -- you.
At Mia's wedding.
email me if you have any corrections or additions to the list